-  • 


THE 
TERRIBLE 

TWINS 


BY 

IEDGARI 


.  or  our.  UBIAB*.  LOS  AHGBLIS 


THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 


By 
EDGAR  JEPSON 

Author  of 

THE  ADMIRABLE  TINKER,  POLLYOOLY,  BTC. 


WITH  ILLUSTRATIONS  BY 

HANSON  BOOTH 


INDIANAPOLIS 

THE  BOBBS-MERRILL  COMPANY 
PUBLISHERS 


COPYRIGHT  1913 
THE  BOBBS-MERRILI  COMPANY 


PRESS     OF 

BRAUNWORTH    &    CO. 

BOOKBINDERS    AND     PRINTERS 

BROOKLYN,    N.    V. 


CONTENTS 


Chapter  Page 

I  AND  CAPTAIN  BASTER          ......  1 

II  GUARDIAN  ANGELS 24 

III  AND  THE  CATS*  HOME 54 

IV  AND  THE  VISIT  OF  INSPECTION 82 

V  AND  THE  SACRED  BIRD 112 

VI  AND  THE  LANDED  PROPRIETOR 137 

VII  AND  PRINGLE'S  POND 163 

VIII  AND  THE  MUTTLE  DEEPING  PEACHES    ....  177 

IX  AND  THE  CAUSE  OF  FREEDOM 204 

X  AND  THE  ENTERTAINMENT  OF  ROYALTY        .        .         .  224 

XI  AND  THE  UNREST  CURE 244 

XII  AND  THE  MUTTLE  DEEPING  FISHING    ....  291 

XIII  AND  AN  APOLOGY 310 

XIV  AND  THE  SOUND  OF  WEDDING  BELLS            .                 .  323 


21306S7 


THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 


THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

CHAPTER  I 

AND    CAPTAIN    BASTER 

FOR  all  that  their  voices  rang  high  and  hot,  the 
Twins  were  really  discussing  the  question  who 
had  hit  Stubb's  bull-terrier  with  the  greatest  num- 
ber of  stones,  in  the  most  amicable  spirit.  It  was 
indeed  a  nice  question  and  hard  to  decide  since 
both  of  them  could  throw  stones  quicker,  straighter 
and  harder  than  any  one  of  their  size  and  weight 
for  miles  and  miles  round;  and  they  had  thrown 
some  fifty  at  the  bull-terrier  before  they  had  con- 
vinced that  dense,  but  irritated,  quadruped  that 
his  master's  interests  did  not  really  demand  his 
presence  in  the  orchard;  and  of  these  some  thirty 
had  hit  him.  Violet  Anastasia  Dangerfield,  who 
always  took  the  most  favorable  view  of  her  ex- 
ploits, had  claimed  twenty  hits  out  of  a  possible 
thirty;  Hyacinth  Wolfram  Dangerfield,  in  a  very 


2  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

proper  spirit,  had  at  once  claimed  the  same  num- 
ber; and  both  of  them  were  defending  their  claims 
with  loud  vehemence,  because  if  you  were  not 
loudly  vehement,  your  claim  lapsed. 

Suddenly  Hyacinth  Wolfram,  as  usual,  closed 
the  discussion ;  he  said  firmly,  "  I  tell  you  what : 
we  both  hit  that  dog  the  same  number  of  times." 

So  saying,  he  swung  round  the  rude  calico  bag, 
bulging  with  booty,  which  hung  from  his  shoulders, 
and  took  from  it  two  Ribston  pippins. 

"  Perhaps  we  did,"  said  Anastasia  amiably. 
They  went  swiftly  down  the  road,  munching  in  a 
peaceful  silence. 

It  had  been  an  odd  whim  of  nature  to  make 
the  Twins  so  utterly  unlike.  No  stranger  ever 
took  Violet  Anastasia  Dangerfield,  so  dark-eyed, 
dark-haired,  dark-skinned,  of  so  rich  a  coloring, 
so  changeful  and  piquant  a  face,  for  the  cousin, 
much  less  for  the  twin-sister,  of  Hyacinth  Wolfram 
Dangerfield,  so  fair-skinned,  fair-haired,  blue-eyed, 
on  whose  firmly  chiseled  features  rested  so  per- 
petual, so  contrasting  a  serenity.  But  it  was  a 
whim  of  man,  of  their  wicked  uncle  Sir  Maurice 
Falconer,  that  had  robbed  them  of  their  pretty 


AND  CAPTAIN  BASTER  3 

names.  He  had  named  Violet  "  Erebus  "  because, 
he  said, 

She  walks  in  beauty  like    the  night 
Of  cloudless  climes  and  starry  spheres; 

and  he  had  forthwith  named  Hyacinth  the  "  Ter- 
ror "  because,  he  said,  the  ill-fated  Sir  John  Frank- 
lin had  made  the  Terror  the  eternal  companion  of 
Erebus. 

Erebus  and  the  Terror  they  became.  Even 
their  mother  never  called  them  by  their  proper 
pretty  names  save  in  moments  of  the  severest  dis- 
pleasure. 

"  They're  good  apples,"  said  the  Terror  pres- 
ently, as  he  threw  away  the  core  of  his  third  and 
took  two  more  from  the  bag. 

"They  are,"  said  Erebus  in  a  grateful  tone  — 
"worth  all  the  trouble  we  had  with  that  dog." 

"  We'd  have  cleared  him  out  of  the  orchard  in 
half  the  time,  if  we'd  had  our  catapults  and  bullets. 
It  was  hard  luck  being  made  to  promise  never  to 
use  catapults  again,"  said  the  Terror  sadly. 

"  All  that  fuss  about  a  little  lead  from  the  silly 
old  belfry  gutter!"  said  Erebus  bitterly. 

"As    if    belfries    wanted    lead    gutters.     They 


4  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

could  easily  have  put  slates  in  the  place  of  the 
sheet  of  lead  we  took,"  said  the  Terror  with  equal 
bitterness. 

"  Why  can't  they  leave  us  alone  ?  It  quite  spoils 
the  country  not  to  have  catapults,"  said  Erebus, 
gazing  with  mournful  eyes  on  the  rich  autumn 
scene  through  which  they  moved. 

The  Twins  had  several  grievances  against  their 
elders;  but  the  loss  of  their  catapults  was  the  bit- 
terest. They  had  used  those  weapons  to  enrich  the 
simple  diet  which  was  all  their  mother's  slender 
means  allowed  them;  on  fortunate  days  they  had 
enriched  it  in  defiance  of  the  game  laws.  Keepers 
and  farmers  had  made  no  secret  of  their  suspicions 
that  this  was  the  case ;  but  the  careful  Twins  never 
afforded  them  the  pleasure  of  adducing  evidence  in 
support  of  those  suspicions.  Then  a  heavy  thunder- 
storm revealed  the  fact  that  they  had  removed 
a  sheet  of  lead,  which  they  had  regarded  as  otiose, 
from  the  belfry  gutter,  to  cast  it  into  bullets  for 
their  catapults ;  a  consensus  of  the  public  opinion  of 
Little  Deeping  had  demanded  that  they  should  be 
deprived  of  them ;  and  their  mother,  yielding  to  the 


AND  CAPTAIN  BASTER  5 

demand,  had  forbidden  them  to  use  them  any 
longer. 

The  Twins  always  obeyed  their  mother ;  but  they 
resented  bitterly  the  action  of  Little  Deeping. 
It  was,  indeed,  an  ungrateful  place,  since  their  ex- 
ploits afforded  its  old  ladies  much  of  the  carping 
conversation  they  loved.  In  a  bitter  and  vindic- 
tive spirit  the  Twins  set  themselves  to  become  the 
finest  stone-throwers  who  ever  graced  a  country- 
side; and  since  they  had  every  natural  aptitude  in 
the  way  of  muscle  and  keenness  of  eye,  they  were 
well  on  their  way  to  realize  their  ambition.  There 
may,  indeed,  have  been  northern  boys  of  thirteen 
who  could  outthrow  the  Terror,  but  not  a  girl 
in  England  could  throw  a  stone  straighter  or  harder 
than  Erebus. 

They  came  to  a  gate  opening  on  to  Little  Deep- 
ing common;  Erebus  vaulted  it  gracefully;  the 
Terror,  hampered  by  the  bag  of  booty,  climbed 
over  it  (for  the  Twins  it  was  always  simpler  to 
vault  or  climb  over  a  gate  than  to  unlatch  it  and 
walk  through)  and  took  their  way  along  a  narrow 
path  through  the  gorse  and  bracken.  They  had 


6  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

gone  some  fifty  yards,  when  from  among  the 
bracken  on  their  right  a  voice  cried:  "Bang-g-g! 
Bang-g-g!" 

The  Twins  fell  to  the  earth  and  lay  still;  and 
Wiggins  came  out  of  the  gorse,  his  wooden  rifle  on 
his  shoulder,  a  smile  of  proud  triumph  on  his  richly 
freckled  face.  He  stood  over  the  fallen  Twins; 
and  his  smile  of  triumph  changed  to  a  scowl  of 
fiendish  ferocity. 

"  Ha !  Ha !  Shot  through  the  heads !  "  he  cried. 
"  Their  bones  will  bleach  in  the  pathless  forest 
while  their  scalps  hang  in  the  wigwam  of  Red  Bear 
the  terror  of  the  Cherokees ! " 

Then  he  scalped  the  Twins  with  a  formidable 
but  wooden  knife.  Then  he  took  from  his  knicker- 
bockers pocket  a  tattered  and  dirty  note-book,  an  in- 
conceivable note-book  (it  was  the  only  thing  to  curb 
the  exuberant  imagination  of  Erebus)  made  an  en- 
try in  it,  and  said  in  a  tone  of  lively  satisfaction: 
"  You're  only  one  game  ahead." 

"  I  thought  we  were  three,"  said  Erebus,  rising. 

"They're  down  in  the  book,"  said  Wiggins 
firmly;  and  his  bright  blue  eyes  were  very  stern. 

"  Well,  we  shall  have  to  spend  a  whole  afternoon 


AND  CAPTAIN  BASTER  7 

getting  well  ahead  of  you  again,"  said  Erebus,  shak- 
ing out  her  dark  curls. 

Wiggins  waged  a  deadly  war  with  the  Twins. 
He  ambushed  and  scalped  them ;  they  ambushed  and 
scalped  him.  Seeing  that  they  had  already  passed 
their  thirteenth  birthday,  it  was  a  great  condescen- 
sion on  their  part  to  play  with  a  boy  of  ten;  and 
they  felt  it.  But  Wiggins  was  a  favored  friend; 
and  the  game  filled  intervals  between  sterner  deeds. 

The  Terror  handed  Wiggins  an  apple;  and  the 
three  of  them  moved  swiftly  on  across  the  common. 
Wiggins  was  one  of  those  who  spurn  the  earth. 
Now  and  again,  for  obscure  but  profound  reasons, 
he  would  suddenly  spring  into  the  air  and  proceed 
by  leaps  and  bounds. 

Once  when  he  slowed  down  to  let  them  overtake 
him,  he  said,  "  The  game  isn't  really  fair ;  you're 
two  to  one." 

"  You  keep  very  level,"  said  the  Terror  politely. 

"  Yes ;  it's  my  superior  astuteness,"  said  Wiggins 
sedately. 

"  Goodness !  What  words  you  use !  "  said  Erebus 
in  a  somewhat  jealous  tone. 

"  It's  being  so  much  with  my  father ;  you  see,  he 


8  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

has   a   European   reputation,"   Wiggins   explained. 

"  Yes,  everybody  says  that.  But  what  is  a  Euro- 
pean reputation  ?  "  said  Erebus  in  a  captious  tone. 

"  Everybody  in  Europe  knows  him,"  said  Wig- 
gins; and  he  spurned  the  earth. 

They  called  him  Wiggins  because  his  name  was 
Rupert.  It  seemed  to  them  a  name  both  affected 
and  ostentatious.  Besides,  crop  it  as  you  might,  his 
hair  would  assume  the  appearance  of  a  mop. 

They  came  out  of  the  narrow  path  into  a  broader 
rutted  cart-track  to  see  two  figures  coming  toward 
them,  eighty  yards  away. 

"  It's  Mum,"  said  Erebus. 

Quick  as  thought  the  Terror  dropped  behind  her, 
slipped  off  the  bag  of  booty,  and  thrust  it  into  a 
gorse-bush. 

"  And  —  and  —  it's  the  Cruncher  with  her !  " 
cried  Erebus  in  a  tone  in  which  disgust  outrang  sur- 
prise. 

"  Of  all  the  sickening  things!  The  Cruncher!  " 
cried  the  Terror,  echoing  her  disgust.  "  What's 
he  come  down  again  for?" 

They  paused ;  then  went  on  their  way  with 
gloomy  faces  to  meet  the  approaching  pair. 


AND  CAPTAIN  BASTER  9 

The  gentleman  whom  they  called  the  "  Crun- 
cher," and  who  from  their  tones  of  disgust  had  so 
plainly  failed  to  win  their  young  hearts  was  Cap- 
tain Baster  of  the  Twenty-fourth  Hussars;  and 
they  called  him  the  Cruncher  on  account  of  the 
vigor  with  which  he  plied  his  large,  white,  promi- 
nent teeth. 

They  had  not  gone  five  yards  when  Wiggins  said 
in  a  tone  of  superiority :  "  I  know  why  he's  come 
down." 

"  Why?  "  said  the  Terror  quickly. 

"  He's  come  down  to  marry  your  mother,"  said 
Wiggins. 

"What?"  cried  the  Twins  with  one  voice,  one 
look  of  blank  consternation ;  and  they  stopped  short. 

"  How  dare  you  say  a  silly  thing  like  that  ?  " 
cried  Erebus  fiercely. 

"  7  didn't  say  it,"  protested  Wiggins.  "  Mrs. 
Blenkinsop  said  it." 

"  That  silly  old  gossip !  "  cried  Erebus. 

"  And  Mrs.  Morton  said  it,  too,"  said  Wiggins. 
"  They  came  to  tea  yesterday  and  talked  about  it. 
I  was  there :  there  was  a  plum  cake  —  one  of  those 
rich  ones  from  Springer's  at  Rowington.  And  they 


io  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

said  it  would  be  such  a  good  thing  for  both  of  you 
because  he's  so  awfully  rich :  the  Terror  would  go 
to  Eton;  and  you'd  go  to  a  good  school  and  get  a 
proper  bringing-up  and  grow  up  a  lady,  after  all  — " 

"  I  wouldn't  go !     I  should  hate  it !  "  cried  Erebus. 

"  Yes ;  they  said  you  wouldn't  like  wholesome 
discipline,"  said  the  faithful  reporter.  "And  they 
didn't  seem  to  think  your  mother  would  like  it 
either  —  marrying  the  Cruncher." 

"  Like  it  ?  She  wouldn't  dream  of  it  —  a  bounder 
like  that !  "  said  the  Terror. 

"  I  don't  know  —  I  don't  know  —  if  she  thought 
it  would  be  good  for  us  —  she'd  do  anything  for  us 
—  you  know  she  would ! "  cried  Erebus,  wringing 
her  hands  in  anxious  fear. 

The  Terror  thrust  his  hands  into  his  pockets ;  his 
square  chin  stuck  out  in  dogged  resolution;  a  deep 
frown  furrowed  his  brow ;  and  his  face  was  flushed. 

"  This  must  be  stopped,"  he  said  through  his  set 
teeth. 

"But  how?"  said  Erebus. 

"  We'll  find  a  way.  It's  war !  "  said  the  Terror 
darkly. 

Wiggins  spurned  the  earth  joyfully :     "  I'm  on 


AND  CAPTAIN  BASTER  n 

your  side,"  he  said.  "  I'm  a  trusty  ally.  He  called 
me  Freckles." 

"Come  on,"  said  the  Terror.  "We'd  better 
face  him." 

They  walked  firmly  to  meet  the  detested  enemy. 
As  they  drew  near,  the  Terror's  face  recovered 
its  flawless  serenity;  but  Erebus  was  scowling 
still. 

From  twenty  yards  away  Captain  Baster  greeted 
them  in  a  rich  hearty  voice :  "  How's  Terebus  and 
the  Error;  and  how's  Freckles?"  he  cried,  and 
laughed  heartily  at  his  own  delightful  humor. 

The  Twins  greeted  him  with  a  cold,  almost  mur- 
derous politeness;  Wiggins  shook  hands  with  Mrs. 
Dangerfield  very  warmly  and  left  out  Captain  Bas- 
ter. 

"  I'm  always  pleased  to  see  you  with  the  Twins, 
Wiggins,"  said  Mrs.  Dangerfield  with  her  delight- 
ful smile.  "  I  know  you  keep  them  out  of  mis- 
chief." 

"  It's  generally  all  over  before  I  come,"  said  Wig- 
gins somewhat  glumly ;  and  of  a  sudden  it  occurred 
to  him  to  spurn  the  earth. 

"  I've  not  had  that  kiss  yet,  Terebus.     I'm  going 


12  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

to  have  it  this  time  I'm  here,"  said  Captain  Baster 
playfully;  and  he  laughed  his  rich  laugh. 

"  Are  you  ?  "  said  Erebus  through  her  clenched 
teeth;  and  she  gazed  at  him  with  the  eyes  of  hate. 

They  turned ;  and  Mrs.  Dangerfield  said,  "  You'll 
come  to  tea  with  us,  Wiggins  ?  " 

"  Thank  you  very  much,"  said  Wiggins ;  and  he 
spurned  the  earth.  As  he  alighted  on  it  once  more, 
he  added.  "  Tea  at  other  people's  houses  is  so  much 
nicer  than  at  home.  Don't  you  think  so,  Terror  ?  " 

"  I  always  eat  more  —  somehow,"  said  the  Ter- 
ror with  a  grave  smile. 

They  walked  slowly  across  the  common,  a  protect- 
ing twin  on  either  side  of  Mrs.  Dangerfield;  and 
Captain  Baster,  in  the  strong  facetious  vein,  en- 
livened the  walk  with  his  delightful  humor.  The 
gallant  officer  was  the  very  climax  of  the  florid,  a 
stout,  high-colored,  black-eyed,  glossy-haired  young 
man  of  twenty-eight,  with  a  large  tip-tilted  nose, 
neatly  rounded  off  in  a  little  knob  forever  shiny. 
The  son  of  the  famous  pickle  millionaire,  he  had 
enjoyed  every  advantage  which  great  wealth  can 
bestow,  and  was  now  enjoying  heartily  a  brave  ca- 
reer in  a  crack  regiment.  The  crack  regiment,  cold, 


AND  CAPTAIN  BASTER  13 

phlegmatic,  unappreciative,  was  not  enjoying  it.  To 
his  brother  officers  he  was  known  as  Pallybaster,  a 
name  he  had  won  for  himself  by  his  frequent  re- 
mark, "  I'm  a  very  pally  man."  It  was  very  true :  it 
was  difficult,  indeed,  for  any  one  whom  he  thought 
might  be  useful  to  him,  to  avoid  his  friendship,  for, 
in  addition  to  all  the  advantages  which  great  wealth 
bestows,  he  enjoyed  an  uncommonly  thick  skin,  an 
armor-plate  impenetrable  to  snubs. 

All  the  way  to  Colet  House,  he  maintained  a  gay 
facetious  flow  of  personal  talk  that  made  Erebus 
grind  her  teeth,  now  and  again  suffused  the  face  of 
Wiggins  with  a  flush  of  mortification  that  dimmed 
his  freckles,  and  wrinkled  Mrs.  Dangerfield's  white 
brow  in  a  distressful  frown.  The  Terror,  serene, 
impassive,  showed  no  sign  of  hearing  him ;  his  mind 
was  hard  at  work  on  this  very  serious  problem  with 
which  he  had  been  so  suddenly  confronted.  More 
than  once  Erebus  countered  a  witticism  with  a  sharp 
retort,  but  with  none  sharp  enough  to  pierce  the 
rhinocerine  hide  of  the  gallant  officer.  Once  this 
unbidden  but  humorous  guest  was  under  their  roof, 
the  laws  of  hospitality  denied  her  even  this  relief. 
She  could  only  treat  him  with  a  steely  civility.  The 


14  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

steeliness  did  not  check  the  easy  flow  of  his  wit. 

He  looked  oddly  out  of  his  place  in  the  drawing- 
room  of  Colet  House ;  he  was  too  new  for  it.  The 
old,  worn,  faded,  carefully  polished  furniture,  for 
the  most  part  of  the  late  eighteenth  or  early  nine- 
teenth century,  seemed  abashed  in,  the  presence  of 
his  floridness.  It  seemed  to  demand  the  setting  of 
spacious,  ornately  glittering  hotels.  Mrs.  Danger- 
field  liked  him  less  in  her  own  drawing-room  than 
anywhere.  When  her  eyes  rested  on  him  in  it,  she 
was  troubled  by  a  curious  feeling  that  only  by  some 
marvelous  intervention  of  providence  had  he  es- 
caped calling  in  a  bright  plaid  satin  tie. 

The  fact  that  he  was  not  in  his  proper  frame, 
though  he  was  not  unconscious  of  it,  did  not  trouble 
Captain  Baster.  Indeed,  he  took  some  credit  to 
himself  for  being  so  little  contemptuous  of  the 
shabby  furniture.  In  a  high  good  humor  he  went 
on  shining  and  shining  all  through  tea ;  and  though 
at  the  end  of  it  his  luster  was  for  a  while  dimmed 
by  the  discovery  that  he  had  left  his  cigarette-case 
at  the  inn  and  there  were  no  cigarettes  in  the  house, 
he  was  presently  shining  again.  Then  the  Twins 
and  Wiggins  rose  and  retired  firmly  into  the  garden. 


AND  CAPTAIN  BASTER  15 

They  came  out  into  the  calm  autumn  evening 
with  their  souls  seething. 

"  He's  a  pig  —  and  a  beast !  We  can't  let  Mum 
marry  him!  We  must  stop  it!"  cried  Erebus. 

"  It's  all  very  well  to  say  '  must.'  But  you  know 
what  Mum  is :  if  she  thinks  a  thing  is  for  our  good, 
do"  it  she  will,"  said  the  Terror  gloomily. 

"  And  she  never  consults  us  —  never !  "  cried 
Erebus. 

"  Only  when  she's  a  bit  doubtful,"  said  the  Ter- 
ror. 

"  Then  she's  not  doubtful  now.  She  hasn't  said 
a  word  to  us  about  it,"  said  Erebus. 

"  That's  what  looks  so  bad.  It  looks  as  if  she'd 
made  up  her  mind  already;  and  if  she  has,  it's  no 
use  talking  to  her,"  said  the  Terror  yet  more 
gloomily. 

They  were  silent ;  and  the  bright  eyes  of  Wiggins 
moved  expectantly  backward  and  forward  from 
one  to  the  other.  He  preserved  a  decorous  sympa- 
thetic silence. 

"  No,  it's  no  good  talking  to  Mum,"  said  Erebus 
presently  in  a  despairing  tone. 

"  Well,  we  must  leave  her  out  of  it  and  just 


16  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

squash  the  Cruncher  ourselves,"  said  the  Terror. 

"But  you  can't  squash  the  Cruncher!"  cried 
Erebus. 

"  Why  not  ?  We've  squashed  other  people, 
haven't  we?  "  said  the  Terror  sharply. 

"  Never  any  one  so  thick-skinned  as  him,"  said 
Erebus. 

The  Terror  frowned  deeply  again :  "  We  can 
always  try,"  he  said  coldly.  "And  look  here: 
I've  been  thinking  all  tea-time :  if  stepchildren  don't 
like  stepfathers,  there's  no  reason  why  stepfathers 
should  like  stepchildren." 

"  The  Cruncher  likes  us,  though  it's  no  fault  of 
ours,"  said  Erebus. 

"That's  just  it;  he  doesn't  really  know  us.  If 
he  saw  the  kind  of  stepchildren  he  was  in  for,  it 
might  choke  him  off,"  said  the  Terror. 

"  But  he  can't  even  see  we  hate  him,"  objected 
Erebus. 

"  No,  and  if  he  did,  he  wouldn't  mind,  he'd  think 
it  a  joke.  My  idea  isn't  to  show  him  how  we  feel, 
but  to  show  him  what  we  can  do,  if  we  give  our 
minds  to  it,"  said  the  Terror  in  a  somewhat  sinis- 
ter tone, 


AND  CAPTAIN  RASTER  17 

Erebus  gazed  at  him,  taking  in  his  meaning. 
Then  a  dazzling  smile  illumined  her  charming  face ; 
and  she  cried  :  "  Oh,  yes !  Let's  give  him  socks ! 
Let's  begin  at  once !  " 

"Yes:  I'll  help!  I'm  a  trusty  ally!"  cried 
Wiggins;  and  he  spurned  the  earth  joyfully  at  the 
thought. 

They  were  silent  a  while,  their  faces  grave  and 
intent,  cudgeling  their  brains  for  some  signal  ex- 
ploit with  which  to  open  hostilities. 

Presently  Wiggins  said :  "  You  might  make  him 
an  apple-pie  bed.  They're  very  annoying  when 
you're  sleepy." 

He  spoke  with  an  air  of  experience. 

"  What's  an  apple-pie  bed  ?  "  said  Erebus  scorn- 
fully. 

Wiggins  hung  his  head,  abashed. 

"  It's  a  beginning,  anyhow,"  said  the  Terror  in 
an  approving  tone;  and  he  added  with  the  air  of  a 
philosopher :  "  Little  things,  and  big  things,  they 
all  count." 

"  I  was  trying  to  think  how  to  break  his  leg ;  but 
I  can't,"  said  Erebus  bitterly. 

"  By   Jove !     That    cigarette-case !     Come   on !  " 


i8  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

cried  the  Terror;  and  he  led  the  way  swiftly  out  of 
the  garden  and  took  the  path  to  Little  Deeping. 

"Where  are  we  going?"  said  Erebus. 

"  We're  going  to  make  him  that  apple-pie  bed. 
There's  nothing  like  making  a  beginning.  We  shall 
think  of  heaps  of  other  things.  If  we  don't  worry 
about  them,  they'll  occur  to  us.  They  always  do," 
said  the  Terror,  at  once  practical  and  philosophical. 

They  walked  briskly  down  to  The  Plough,  the  one 
inn  of  Little  Deeping,  where,  as  usual,  Captain 
Baster  was  staying,  and  went  in  through  the  front 
door  which  stood  open.  At  the  sound  of  their  foot- 
steps in  her  hall  the  stout  but  good-humored  land- 
lady came  bustling  out  of  the  bar  to  learn  what  they 
wanted. 

"  Good  afternoon,  Mrs.  Pittaway,"  said  the  Ter- 
ror politely.  "  We've  come  for  Captain  Baster's 
cigarette-case.  He's  left  it  somewhere  in  his  room." 

At  the  thought  of  handling  the  shining  cigarette- 
case  Mrs.  Pittaway  rubbed  her  hands  on  her  apron ; 
then  the  look  of  favor  with  which  her  eyes  had 
rested  on  the  fair  guileless  face  of  the  Terror, 
changed  to  a  frown ;  and  she  said :  "  Bother  the 


AND  CAPTAIN  BASTER  19 

thing!  It's  sure  to  be  stuck  somewhere  out  of 
sight.  And  the  bar  full,  too." 

"  Don't  you  trouble ;  I'll  get  it.  I  know  the  bed- 
room," said  the  Terror  with  ready  amiability;  and 
he  started  to  mount  the  stairs. 

"  Oh,  thank  you,  sir,"  said  Mrs.  Pittaway,  bust- 
ling back  to  the  bar. 

Erebus  and  Wiggins  dashed  lightly  up  the  stairs 
after  the  Terror.  In  less  than  two  minutes  the 
deft  hands  of  the  Twins  had  dealt  with  the  bed; 
and  their  intelligent  eyes  were  eagerly  scanning  the 
hapless  unprotected  bedroom.  Erebus  sprang  to 
the  shaving-brush  on  the  mantelpiece  and  thrust  it 
under  the  mattress.  The  Terror  locked  Captain 
Easter's  portmanteau;  and  as  he  placed  the  keys 
beside  the  shaving-brush,  he  said  coldly: 

"  That'll  teach  him  not  to  be  so  careless." 

Erebus  giggled;  then  she  took  the  water- jug  and 
rilled  one  of  Captain  Easter's  inviting  dress-boots 
with  water.  Wiggins  rocked  with  laughter. 

"  Don't  stand  giggling  there !  Why  don't  you  do 
something?"  said  Erebus  sharply. 

Wiggins  looked  thoughtful;  then  he  said:     "A 


20  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

clothes-brush  in  bed  is  very  annoying  when  you 
stick  your  foot  against  it." 

He  stepped  toward  the  dressing-table;  but  the 
Terror  was  before  him.  He  took  the  clothes- 
brush  and  set  it  firmly,  bristles  outward,  against  the 
bottom  of  the  folded  sheet  of  the  apple-pie  bed, 
where  one  or  the  other  of  Captain  Easter's  feet  was 
sure  to  find  it.  The  Terror  did  not  care  which  foot 
was  successful. 

Then  inspiration  failed  them;  the  Terror  took 
the  cigarette-case  from  the  dressing-table;  they 
came  quietly  down  the  stairs  and  out  of  the  inn. 

As  they  turned  up  the  street  the  Terror  said  with 
modest  if  somewhat  vengeful  triumph:  "There! 
you  see  things  do  occur  to  us."  Then  with  his 
usual  scrupulous  fairness  he  added :  "  But  it  was 
Wiggins  who  set  us  going." 

"I'm  an  ally;  and  he  called  me  Freckles,"  said 
Wiggins  venge fully ;  and  once  more  he  spurned  the 
earth. 

On  their  way  home,  half-way  up  the  lane,  where 
the  trees  arched  most  thickly  overhead,  they  came 
to  a  patch  of  deepish  mud  which  was  too  sheltered 


AND  CAPTAIN  BASTER  21 

to  have  dried  after  the  heavy  rain  of  the  day  be- 
fore. 

"  Mind  the  mud,  Wiggins,"  said  Erebus,  mind- 
ful of  his  carelessness  in  the  matter. 

Wiggins  walked  gingerly  along  the  side  of  it  and 
said :  "  It  wouldn't  be  a  nice  place  to  fall  down  in, 
would  it?" 

The  Terror  went  on  a  few  paces,  stopped  short, 
laughed  a  hard,  sinister  little  laugh,  and  said : 
"  Wiggins,  you're  a  treasure !  " 

"What  is  it?  What  is  it  now?"  said  Erebus 
quickly. 

"  A  little  job  of  my  own.  It  wouldn't  do  for  you 
and  Wiggins  to  have  a  hand  in  it,  he'll  swear  so," 
said  the  Terror. 

"Who'll  swear?"  said  Erebus. 

"  The  Cruncher.  And  you're  a  girl  and  Wig- 
gins is  too  young  to  hear  such  language,"  said  the 
Terror. 

"Rubbish!"  said  Erebus  sharply.  "Tell  us 
what  it  is." 

The  Terror  shook  his  head. 

"  It's  a  beastly  shame !     I  ought  to  help  —  I  al- 


22  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

ways  do,"  cried  Erebus  in  a  bitterly  aggrieved  tone. 

The  Terror  shook  his  head. 

"  All  right,"  said  Erebus.  "  Who  wants  to  help 
in  a  stupid  thing  like  that  ?  But  all  the  same  you'll 
go  and  make  a  silly  mull  of  it  without  me  —  you 
always  do." 

"  You  jolly  well  wait  and  see,"  said  the  Terror 
with  calm  confidence. 

Erebus  was  still  muttering  darkly  about  piggish- 
ness  when  they  reached  the  house. 

They  went  into  the  drawing-room  in  a  body  and 
found  Captain  Baster  still  talking  to  their  mother, 
in  the  middle,  indeed,  of  a  long  story  illustrating  his 
prowess  in  a  game  of  polo,  qn  two  three-hundred- 
guinea  and  one  three-hundred-and-fifty-guinea 
ponies.  He  laid  great  stress  on  the  prices  he  had 
paid  for  them. 

When  it  came  to  an  end,  the  Terror  gave  him  his 
cigarette-case. 

Mrs.  Dangerfield  observed  this  example  of  the 
thought  fulness  of  her  offspring  with  an  air  of  doubt- 
ful surprise. 

Captain  Baster  took  the  cigarette-case  and  said 
with  hearty  jocularity:  "Thank  you,  Error  — 


AND  CAPTAIN  BASTER  23 

thank  you.  But  why  didn't  you  bring  it  to  me, 
Terebus?  Then  you'd  have  earned  that  kiss  I'm 
going  to  give  you." 

Erebus  gazed  at  him  with  murderous  eyes,  and 
said  in  a  sinister  tone :     "  Oh,  I  helped  to  get  it." 


CHAPTER  II 

GUARDIAN*  ANGELS 

AT  seven  o'clock  Captain  Baster  took  his  leave 
to  dine  at  his  inn.  Of  his  own  accord  he 
promised  faithfully  to  return  at  nine  sharp.  He 
left  the  house  a  proud  and  happy  man,  for  he  knew 
that  he  had  been  shining  before  Mrs.  Dangerfield 
with  uncommon  brilliance. 

He  was  not  by  any  means  blind  to  her  charm  and 
beauty,  for  though  she  was  four  years  older  than 
he,  she  contrived  never  to  look  less  than  two  years 
younger,  and  that  without  any  aid  from  the  cos- 
metic arts.  But  he  chiefly  saw  in  her  an  admirable 
ladder  to  those  social  heights  to  which  his  ardent 
soul  aspired  to  climb.  She  had  but  to  return  to 
the  polite  world  from  which  the  loss  of  her  husband 
and  her  straightened  circumstances  had  removed 
her,  to  find  herself  a  popular  woman  with  a  host 
of  friends  in  the  exalted  circles  Captain  Baster 

24 


( 

GUARDIAN  ANGELS  25 

burned  to  adorn.  Yet  it  must  not  for  a  moment  be 
supposed  that  he  was  proposing  a  mercenary  mar- 
riage for  her;  he  was  sure  that  she  loved  him,  for 
he  felt  rather  than  knew  that  with  women  he  was 
irresistible. 

It  was  not  love,  however,  that  knitted  Mrs.  Dan- 
gerfield's  brow  in  a  troubled  frown  as  she  dressed; 
nor  was  it  love  that  caused  her  to  select  to  wear 
that  evening  one  of  her  oldest  and  dowdiest  gowns, 
a  gown  with  which  she  had  never  been  truly  pleased. 
The  troubled  air  did  not  leave  her  face  during  din- 
ner ;  and  it  seemed  to  affect  the  Twins,  for  they,  too, 
were  gloomy.  They  were  pleased,  indeed,  with  the 
beginning  of  the  campaign,  but  still  very  doubtful 
of  success  in  the  end.  Where  their  interests  were 
concerned  their  mother  was  of  a  firmness  indeed 
hard  to  move. 

Moreover,  she  kept  looking  at  them  in  an  odd 
considering  fashion  that  disturbed  them,  especially 
at  the  Terror.  Erebus  in  a  pretty  light  frock  of 
her  mother's  days  of  prosperity,  which  had  been 
cut  down  and  fitted  to  her,  was  a  sight  to  brighten 
any  one's  eyes;  but  the  sleeves  of  the  dark  coat 
which  the  Terror  wore  on  Sundays  and  on  gala 


26  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

evenings,  bared  a  length  of  wrist  distressing  to  a 
mother's  eye. 

The  fine  high  spirits  of  Captain  Baster  were  some- 
what dashed  by  his  failure  to  find  his  keys  and  open 
his  portmanteau,  since  he  would  be  unable  to  ravish 
Mrs.  Dangerfield's  eye  that  evening  by  his  dis- 
tinguished appearance  in  the  unstained  evening 
dress  of  an  English  gentleman.  After  a  long  hunt 
for  the  mislaid  keys,  in  which  the  harried  staff  of 
The  Plough  took  part,  he  made  up  his  mind  that  he 
must  appear  before  her,  with  all  apologies,  in  the 
tweed  suit  he  was  wearing.  It  was  a  bitter  thought, 
for  in  a  tweed  suit  he  could  not  really  feel  a  con- 
quering hero  after  eight  o'clock  at  night. 

Then  he  put  his  foot  into  a  dress-boot  full  of 
cold  water.  It  was  a  good  water-tight  boot;  and 
it  had  faithfully  retained  all  of  the  water  its  lin- 
ing had  not  soaked  up.  The  gallant  officer  said 
a  good  deal  about  its  retentive  properties  to  the 
mute  boot. 

At  dinner  he  learned  from  Mrs.  Pittaway  that 
the  obliging  Terror  had  himself  fetched  the  cig- 
arette-case from  his  bedroom.  A  flash  of  intui- 
tion connected  the  Terror  with  the  watered  boot; 


GUARDIAN  ANGELS  27 

and  he  begged  her,  with  loud  acerbity,  never  again 
to  let  any  one  —  any  one !  !  —  enter  his  bedroom. 
Mrs.  Pittaway  objected  that  slops  could  not  be 
emptied,  or  beds  made  without  human  intervention. 
He  begged  her,  not  perhaps  unreasonably,  not  to 
talk  like  a  fool ;  and  she  liked  him  none  the  better 
for  his  directness. 

Food  always  soothed  him;  and  he  rose  from  his 
dinner  in  better  spirits.  As  he  rose  from  it,  the 
Terror,  standing  among  the  overarching  trees 
which  made  the  muddy  patch  in  the  lane  so  dark, 
was  drawing  a  clothes-line  tight.  It  ran  through 
the  hedge  that  hid  him  to  the  hedge  on  the  other 
side  of  the  lane.  There  it  was  fastened  to  a  stout 
stake ;  and  he  was  fastening  it  to  the  lowest  rail  of 
a  post  and  rails.  At  its  tightest  it  rose  a  foot  above 
the  roadway  just  at  the  beginning  of  the  mud- 
patch.  It  was  at  its  tightest. 

Heartened  by  his  dinner  and  two  extra  whiskies 
and  sodas,  Captain  Baster  set  out  for  Colet  House 
at  a  brisk  pace.  As  he  moved  through  the  bracing 
autumn  air,  his  spirits  rose  yet  higher ;  that  night  — 
that  very  night  he  would  crown  Mrs.  Dangerfield's 
devotion  with  his  avowal  of  an  answering  passion. 


28  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

He  pressed  forward  swiftly  like  a  conqueror;  and 
like  a  conqueror  he  whistled.  Then  he  found  the 
clothes-line,  suddenly,  pitched  forward  and  fell,  not 
heavily,  for  the  mud  was  thick,  but  sprawling.  He 
rose,  oozy  and  dripping,  took  a  long  breath,  and 
the  welkin  shuddered  as  it  rang. 

The  Terror  did  not  shudder;  he  was  going  home 
like  the  wind. 

Having  sent  Erebus  to  bed  at  a  few  minutes  to 
nine  Mrs.  Dangerfield  waited  restlessly  for  her  tardy 
guest,  her  charming  face  still  set  in  a  troubled 
frown.  Her  woman's  instinct  assured  her  that 
Captain  Baster  would  propose  that  night;  and  she 
dreaded  it.  Two  or  three  times  she  rose  and  walked 
up  and  down  the  room ;  and  when  she  saw  her  deep, 
dark,  troubled  eyes  in  the  two  old,  almost  giltless 
round  mirrors,  they  did  nof  please  her  as  they  usu- 
ally did.  Those  eyes  were  one  of  the  sources  from 
which  had  sprung  Captain  Easter's  attraction  to 
her. 

But  there  were  the  Twins;  she  longed  to  do  so 
many  useful,  needful  things  for  them ;  and  marriage 
with  Captain  Baster  was  the  way  of  doing  them. 


GUARDIAN  ANGELS  29 

She  told  herself  that  he  would  make  an  excellent 
stepfather  and  husband;  that  under  his  unfortunate 
manner  were  a  good  heart  and  sterling  qualities. 
She  assured  herself  that  she  had  the  power  to  draw 
them  out;  once  he  was  her  husband,  she  would 
change  him.  But  still  she  was  ill  at  ease.  Per- 
haps, in  her  heart  of  hearts,  she  was  doubtful  of 
her  power  to  make  a  silk  purse  out  of  rhinoceros 
hide. 

When  at  last  a  note  came  from  The  Plough  to 
say  that  he  was  unfortunately  prevented  from  com- 
ing that  evening,  but  would  come  next  morning  to 
take  her  for  a  walk,  she  was  filled  with  so  extrava- 
gant a  relief  that  it  frightened  her.  She  sat  down 
and  wrote  out  a  telegram  to  her  brother,  rang  for 
old  Sarah,  their  trusty  hard-working  maid,  and  bade 
her  tell  the  Terror,  who  had  slipped  quietly  up- 
stairs to  bed  at  one  minute  to  nine,  to  send  it  off 
in  the  morning.  She  did  not  wish  to  take  the 
chance  of  not  waking  and  despatching  it  as  early 
as  possible.  She  must  have  advice ;  and  Sir  Maurice 
Falconer  was  not  only  a  shrewd  man  of  the  world, 
but  he  would  also  advise  her  with  the  keenest  re- 


30  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

gard  for  her  interests.  She  tried  not  to  hope  that 
he  would  find  marriage  with  Captain  Baster  in- 
compatible with  them. 

Captain  Baster  awoke  in  less  than  his  usual  cheer- 
fulness. He  thought  for  a  while  of  the  Terror  and 
boots  and  mud  with  a  gloomy  unamiability.  Then 
he  rose  and  betook  himself  to  his  toilet.  In  the 
middle  of  it  he  missed  his  shaving-brush.  He 
hunted  for  it  furiously;  he  could  have  sworn  that 
he  had  taken  it  out  of  his  portmanteau.  He  did 
swear,  but  not  to  any  definite  fact.  There  was 
nothing  for  it:  he  must  expose  his  tender  chin  to 
the  cruel  razor  of  a  village  barber. 

Then  he  disliked  the  look  of  his  tweed  suit; 
all  traces  of  mud  had  not  vanished  from  it. 
In  one  short  night  it  had  lost  its  pristine  fresh- 
ness. This  and  the  ordeal  before  his  chin  made 
his  breakfast  gloomy;  and  soon  after  it  he  entered 
the  barber's  shop  with  the  air  of  one  who  has  aban- 
doned hope.  Later  he  came  out  of  it  with  his  rov- 
ing black  eye  full  of  tears  of  genuine  feeling;  his 
scraped  chin  was  smarting  cruelly  and  unattractive 
in  patches  —  red  patches.  At  the  door  the  breath- 
less, excited  and  triumphant  maid  of  the  inn  ac- 


GUARDIAN  ANGELS  31 

costed  him  with  the  news  that  she  had  just  found 
his  keys  and  his  shaving-brush  under  the  mattress 
of  his  bed.  He  looked  round  the  village  of  Little 
Deeping  blankly;  it  suddenly  seemed  to  him  a 
squalid  place. 

None  the  less  it  was  a  comforting  thought  that 
he  would  not  be  put  to  the  expense  of  having  his 
portmanteau  broken  open  and  fitted  with  a  new  lock, 
for  his  great  wealth  had  never  weakened  the  essen- 
tial thriftiness  of  his  soul.  Half  an  hour  later,  in 
changed  tweeds  but  with  unchanged  chin,  he  took 
his  way  to  Colet  House,  thinking  with  great  un- 
kindness  of  his  future  stepson.  As  he  drew  near 
it  he  saw  that  that  stepson  was  awaiting  him  at  the 
garden  gate ;  nearer  still  he  saw  that  he  was  await- 
ing him  with  an  air  of  ineffable  serenity. 

The  Terror  politely  opened  the  gate  for  him,  and 
with  a  kind  smile  asked  him  if  he  had  slept  well. 

The  red  blood  of  the  Basters  boiled  in  the  cap- 
tain's veins,  and  he  said  somewhat  thickly :  "  Look 
here,  my  lad,  I  don't  want  any  more  of  your  tricks ! 
You  play  another  on  me,  and  I'll  give  you  the 
soundest  licking  you  ever  had  in  your  life! " 

The  serenity  on  the  Terror's  face  broke  up  into 


32  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

an  expression  of  the  deepest  pain:  "  Whatever's 
the  matter?  "  he  said  in  a  tone  of  amazement.  "  I 
thought  you  loved  a  joke.  You  said  you  did  — 
yesterday  —  at  tea." 

"  You  try  it  on  again !  "  said  Captain  Baster. 

"Now,  whatever  has  put  your  back  up?"  said 
the  Terror  in  a  tone  of  even  greater  amazement. 
"  Was  it  the  apple-pie  bed,  or  the  lost  keys,  or  the 
water  in  the  boot,  or  the  clothes-line  across  the 
road?" 

It  was  well  that  the  Terror  could  spring  with  a 
cat's  swiftness :  Captain  Easter's  boot  missed  him 
by  a  hair's  breadth. 

The  Terror  ran  round  the  house,  in  at  the  back 
door  and  up  to  the  bedroom  of  Erebus. 

"  Waxy  ?  "  he  cried  joyously.  "  He's  black  in 
the  face!  I  told  him  he  said  he  loved  a  joke." 

Erebus  only  growled  deep  down  in  her  throat. 
She  was  bitterly  aggrieved  that  she  had  not  had  a 
hand  in  Captain  Easter's  downfall  the  night  before. 
The  Terror  had  awakened  her  to  tell  her  joyfully 
of  his  glorious  exploit  and  of  the  shuddering  wel- 
kin. 

He  paid  no  heed  to  the  rumbling  of  her  discon- 


33 

tent ;  he  said :  "  Now,  you  quite  understand. 
You'll  stick  to  them  like  a  leech.  You  won't  give 
him  any  chance  of  talking  to  Mum  alone.  It's  most 
important." 

"  I  understand.  But  what's  that  ?  Anybody 
could  do  it,"  she  said  in  a  tone  of  extreme  bitter- 
ness. "  It's  you  that's  getting  all  the  real  fun." 

"  But  you'll  be  able  to  make  yourself  beastly  dis- 
agreeable, if  you're  careful,"  said  the  Terror. 

"Of  course,  I  shall.  But  what's  that?  I  tell 
you  what  it  is :  I'm  going  to  have  my  proper  share 
of  the  real  fun.  The  first  chance  I  get,  I'm  going 
to  stone  him  —  so  there !  "  said  Erebus  fiercely. 

"All  right.  But  it  doesn't  seem  quite  the  thing 
for  a  girl  to  do,"  said  the  Terror  in  a  judicial  tone. 

"  Rats !  "  said  Erebus. 

It  was  well  that  Mrs.  Dangerfield  kept  Captain 
Baster  waiting;  it  gave  the  purple  tinge,  which  was 
heightening  his  floridness  somewhat  painfully,  time 
to  fade.  When  she  did  come  to  him,  he  was  fur- 
ther annoyed  by  the  fact  that  Erebus  came  too,  and 
with  a  truculent  air  announced  her  intention  of  ac- 
companying them.  Mrs.  Dangerfield  was  sur- 
prised; Erebus  seldom  showed  any  taste  for  such 


34 

a  gentle  occupation.  Also  she  was  relieved ;  she  did 
not  want  Captain  Baster  to  propose  before  she  had 
taken  counsel  with  her  brother. 

Captain  Baster  started  in  a  gloomy  frame  of 
mind;  he  did  not  try  to  hide  from  himself  the  fact 
that  Mrs.  Dangerfield  had  lost  some  of  her  charm : 
she  was  the  mother  of  the  Terror.  He  found,  too, 
that  his  instinctive  distaste  for  the  company  of 
Erebus  was  not  ungrounded.  She  was  a  nuisance; 
she  would  talk  about  wet  boots ;  the  subject  seemed 
to  fascinate  her.  Then,  when  at  last  he  recovered 
his  spirits,  grew  once  more  humorous,  and  even  rose 
to  the  proposing  point,  there  was  no  getting  rid  of 
her.  She  was  impervious  to  hints;  she  refused, 
somewhat  pertly,  to  pause  and  gather  the  luscious 
blackberries.  How  could  a  man  be  his  humorous 
self  in  these  circumstances?  He  felt  that  his  hu- 
mor was  growing  strained,  losing  its  delightful 
lightness. 

Then  the  accident:  it  was  entirely  Erebus'  own 
fault  (he  could  swear  it)  that  he  tripped  over  her 
foot  and  pitched  among  those  infernal  brambles. 
Her  howls  of  anguish  were  all  humbug:  he  had 
not  hurt  her  ankle  (he  could  swear  it) ;  there  was  not 


GUARDIAN  ANGELS  35 

a  tear.  The  moment  he  offered,  furiously,  to  carry 
her,  she  walked  without  a  vestige  of  a  limp. 

Mrs.  Dangerfield  had  no  right  to  look  vexed  with 
him;  if  one  brought  up  one's  children  like  that  — 
well.  Certainly  she  was  losing  her  charm ;  she  was 
the  mother  of  Erebus  also. 

His  doubt,  whether  the  mother  of  such  children 
was  the  right  kind  of  wife  for  him,  had  grown  very 
serious  indeed,  when,  as  they  drew  near  Colet 
House,  a  slim,  tall  young  man  of  an  extreme  ele- 
gance and  distinction  came  through  the  garden  gate 
to  meet  them. 

With  a  cry  of  "  Uncle  Maurice !  "  the  crippled 
Erebus  dashed  to  meet  him  with  the  light  bounds 
of  an  antelope.  Captain  Baster  could  hardly  be- 
lieve his  eyes ;  he  knew  the  young  man  by  sight,  by 
name  and  by  repute.  It  was  Sir  Maurice  Falconer, 
a  man  he  longed  to  boast  his  friend.  With  his  aid 
a  man  might  climb  to  the  highest  social  peaks. 

When  Mrs.  Dangerfield  introduced  him  as  her 
brother  (he  had  never  dreamed  it)  he  could  not  be- 
lieve his  good  fortune.  But  why  had  he  not  learned 
this  splendid  fact  before?  Why  had  he  been  kept 
in  the  dark?  He  did  not  reflect  that  he  had  been 


36  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

so  continuously  busy  making  confidences  about  him- 
self, his  possessions  and  his  exploits  to  her  that  he 
had  given  her  the  smallest  opportunities  of  telling 
him  anything  about  herself. 

But  he  was  not  one  to  lose  a  golden  opportunity ; 
he  set  about  making  up  for  lost  time  with  a  will; 
and  never  had  he  so  thoroughly  demonstrated  his 
right  to  the  name  of  Pallybaster.  His  friendliness 
was  overwhelming.  Before  the  end  of  lunch  he 
had  invited  Sir  Maurice  to  dine  with  him  at  his 
mess,  to  dine  with  him  at  two  of  his  clubs,  to  shoot 
with  him,  to  ride  a  horse  of  his  in  the  forthcoming 
regimental  steeplechases,  to  go  with  him  on  a  yacht- 
ing cruise  in  the  Mediterranean. 

All  through  the  afternoon  his  friendliness  grew 
and  grew.  He  could  not  bear  that  any  one  else 
should  have  a  word  with  Sir  Maurice.  The  Twins 
were  intolerable  with  their  interruptions,  their 
claims  on  their  uncle's  attention.  They  disgusted 
Captain  Baster:  when  he  became  their  stepfather, 
it  would  be  his  first  task  to  see  that  they  learned  a 
respectful  silence  in  the  presence  of  their  elders. 

He  never  gave  a  thought  to  his  proposal;  he 
sought  no  occasion  to  make  it.  Captain  Easter's 


GUARDIAN  ANGELS  37 

love  was  of  his  life  a  thing  apart,  but  his  social  as- 
pirations were  the  chief  fact  of  his  existence.  Be- 
sides, there  was  no  haste;  he  knew  that  Mrs.  Dan- 
gerfield  was  awaiting  his  avowal  with  a  passionate 
eagerness;  any  time  would  do  for  that.  But  he 
must  seize  the  fleeting  hour  and  bind  Sir  Maurice 
to  himself  by  the  bond  of  the  warmest  friendship. 

Again  and  again  he  wondered  how  Sir  Maurice 
could  give  his  attention  to  the  interrupting  exact- 
ing Twins,  when  he  had  a  man  of  the  world,  hu- 
morous, knowing,  wealthy,  to  talk  to.  He  tried  to 
make  opportunities  for  him  to  escape  from  them; 
Sir  Maurice  missed  those  opportunities;  he  did  not 
seem  to  see  them.  In  truth  Captain  Baster  was  a 
little  disappointed  in  Sir  Maurice :  he  did  not  find 
him  frankly  responsive :  polite  —  yes ;  indeed,  po- 
liteness could  go  no  further.  But  he  lacked  warmth. 
After  all  he  had  not  pinned  him  down  to  the  definite 
acceptance  of  a  single  invitation. 

When,  at  seven  o'clock,  he  tore  himself  away 
with  the  hearty  assurance  that  he  would  be  back  at 
nine  sharp,  he  was  not  sure  that  he  had  made  a 
bosom  friend.  He  felt  that  the  friendship  might 
need  clenching. 


38  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

As  the  front  door  shut  behind  him,  Sir  Maurice 
wiped  his  brow  with  the  air  of  one  who  has  paused 
from  exhausting  toil :  "  I  feel  sticky  —  positively 
sticky,"  he  said.  "  Oh,  Erebus,  you  do  have  gummy 
friends !  I  thought  we  should  never  get  rid  of  him. 
I  thought  he'd  stuck  himself  to  us  for  the  rest  of 
our  natural  lives." 

Mrs.  Dangerfield  smiled;  and  the  Terror  said  in 
a  tone  of  deep  meaning:  "That's  what  he's  up 
to." 

"  He's  not  a  friend  of  mine ! "  cried  Erebus 
hotly. 

"  We  call  him  the  Cruncher  —  because  of  his 
teeth,"  said  the  Terror. 

"  Then  beware,  Erebus  —  beware !  You  are 
young  and  possibly  savory,"  said  Sir  Maurice. 

"  You  children  had  better  go  and  get  ready  for 
dinner,"  said  Mrs.  Dangerfield. 

The  Twins  went  to  the  door.  On  the  threshold 
Erebus  turned  and  said :  "  It's  Mum  he  wants  to 
crunch  up  —  not  me." 

The  bolt  shot,  she  fled  through  the  door. 

Sir  Maurice  looked  at  his  sister  and  said  softly: 
"  Oho !  I  see  —  heroism.  That  was  what  you 


GUARDIAN  ANGELS  •  39 

wanted  to  consult  me  about."  Then  he  laid  his 
hand  on  her  shoulder  affectionately  and  added : 
"  It  won't  do,  Anne  —  it  won't  do  at  all.  I  am 
convinced  of  it." 

,  "  Do  you  think  so  ?  "  said  Mrs.  Dangerfield  in  a 
tone  in  which  disappointment  and  relief  were  very 
nicely  blended. 

"Think?  I'm  sure  of  it,"  said  Sir  Maurice  in 
a  tone  of  complete  conviction. 

"  But  the  children ;  he  could  do  so  much  for  the 
children,"  pleaded  Mrs.  Dangerfield. 

"  He  could,  but  he  wouldn't.  That  kind  of 
bounder  never  does  any  one  any  good  but  himself. 
No,  no;  the  children  are  right  in  calling  him  the 
Cruncher.  He  would  just  crunch  you  up;  and  it 
is  a  thousand  times  better  for  them  to  have  an  un- 
crunched  mother  than  all  the  money  that  ever  came 
out  of  pickles." 

"  Well,  you  know  best.  You  do  understand 
these  things,"  said  Mrs.  Dangerfield;  and  she 
sighed. 

"  I  do  understand  Basters,"  said  Sir  Maurice  in 
a  confident  tone. 

Mrs.  Dangerfield  ran  up-stairs  to  dress,  on  the 


40  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

light  feet  of  a  girl;  a  weight  oppressive,  indeed,  had 
been  lifted  from  her  spirit. 

Dinner  was  a  very  bright  and  lively  meal,  though 
now  and  again  a  grave  thoughtfulness  clouded  the 
spirits  of  Erebus.  Once  Sir  Maurice  asked  her  the 
cause  of  it.  She  only  shook  her  head. 

Captain  Baster  ate  his  dinner  in  a  sizzling  ex- 
citement :  he  knew  that  he  had  made  a  splendid  first 
impression;  he  was  burning  to  deepen  it.  But  on 
his  eager  way  back  to  Colet  House,  he  walked 
warily,  feeling  before  him  with  his  stick  for  clothes- 
lines. He  came  out  of  the  dark  lane  into  the  broad 
turf  road,  which  runs  across  the  common  to  the 
house,  with  a  strong  sense  of  relief  and  became  once 
more  his  hearty  care- free  self. 

There  was  not  enough  light  to  display  the  jaunty 
air  with  which  he  walked  in  all  its  perfection;  but 
there  seemed  to  be  light  enough  for  more  serious 
matters,  for  a  stone  struck  him  on  the  thigh  with 
considerable  force.  He  had  barely  finished  the 
jump  of  pained  surprise  with  which  he  greeted  it, 
when  another  stone  whizzed  viciously  past  his  head ; 
then  a  third  struck  him  on  the  shoulder. 

With  the  appalling  roar  of  a  bull  of  Bashan  the 


GUARDIAN  ANGELS  41 

gallant  officer  dashed  in  the  direction  whence,  he 
judged,  the  stones  came.  He  was  just  in  time  to 
stop  a  singularly  hard  stone  with  his  marble  brow. 
Then  he  found  a  gorse-bush  (by  tripping  over  a 
root)  a  gorse-bush  which  seemed  unwilling  to  re- 
lease him  from  its  stimulating,  not  to  say  prickly, 
embrace.  As  he  wallowed  in  it  another  stone  found 
him,  his  ankle-bone. 

He  wrenched  himself  from  the  embrace  of  the 
gorse-bush,  found  his  feet  and  realized  that  there 
was  only  one  thing  to  do.  He  tore  along  the  turf 
road  to  Colet  House  as  hard  as  he  could  pelt.  A 
stone  struck  the  garden  gate  as  he  opened  it.  He 
did  not  pause  to  ring;  he  opened  the  front  door, 
plunged  heavily  across  the  hall  into  the  drawing- 
room.  The  Terror  formed  the  center  of  a  domes- 
tic scene;  he  was  playing  draughts  with  his  Uncle 
Maurice. 

Captain  Baster  glared  at  him  with  unbelieving 
eyes  and  gasped :  "I  —  I  made  sure  it  was  that 
young  whelp ! " 

This  sudden  violent  entry  of  a  bold  but  dishev- 
eled hussar  produced  a  natural  confusion;  Mrs. 
Dangerfield,  Sir  Maurice  and  the  Terror  sprang 


42  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

to  their  feet,  asking  with  one  voice  what  had  be- 
fallen him. 

Captain  Baster  sank  heavily  on  to  a  chair  and  in- 
stantly sprang  up  from  it  with  a  howl  as  he  chanced 
on  several  tokens  of  the  gorse-bush's  clinging  affec- 
tion. 

"  I've  been  stoned  —  stoned  by  some  hulking 
scoundrels  on  the  common !  "  he  cried ;  and  he  dis- 
played the  considerable  bump  rising  on  his  marble 
brow. 

Mrs.  Dangerfield  was  full  of  concern  and  sympa- 
thy; Sir  Maurice  was  cool,  interested  but  cool;  he 
did  not  blaze  up  into  the  passionate  indignation  of 
a  bosom  friend. 

"How  many  of  them  were  there?"  said  the 
Terror. 

"  From  the  number  of  stones  they  threw  I  should 
think  there  were  a  dozen,"  said  Captain  Baster ;  and 
he  panted  still. 

The  Terror  looked  puzzled. 

"  I  know  —  I  know  what  it  is ! "  cried  Mrs.  Dan- 
gerfield with  an  illuminating  flash  of  womanly  in- 
tuition. "  You've  been  humorous  with  some  of 
the  villagers ! " 


43 

"  No,  no!  I  haven't  joked  with  a  single  one  of 
them!  "  cried  Captain  Baster.  "  But  I'll  teach  the 
scoundrels  a  lesson !  I'll  put  the  police  on  them  to- 
morrow morning.  I'll  send  for  a  detective  from 
London.  I'll  prosecute  them." 

Then  Erebus  entered,  her  piquant  face  all  aglow : 
"  I  couldn't  find  your  handkerchief  anywhere,  Mum. 
It  took  me  ever  such  a  time,"  she  said,  giving  it  to 
her. 

The  puzzled  air  faded  from  the  Terror's  face; 
and  he  said  in  a  tone  of  deep  meaning :  "  Have  you 
been  running  to  find  it?  You're  quite  out  of 
breath." 

For  a  moment  a  horrid  suspicion  filled  the  mind 
of  Captain  Baster.  .  .  .  But  no:  it  was  impossible 
—  a  child  in  whose  veins  flowed  some  of  the  bluest 
blood  in  England.  Besides,  her  slender  arms  could 
never  have  thrown  the  stones  as  straight  and  hard 
as  that. 

On  the  other  hand  Sir  Maurice  appeared  to  have 
lost  for  once  his  superb  self-possession;  he  was 
staring  at  his  beautiful  niece  with  his  mouth  slightly 
open.  He  muttered  something  about  finding  his 
handkerchief,  and  stumbled  out  of  the  room.  They 


44  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

heard  a  door  bang  up-stairs;  then,  through  the  ceil- 
ing, they  heard  a  curious  drumming  sound.  It  oc- 
curred to  the  Terror  that  it  might  be  the  heels  of 
Sir  Maurice  on  the  floor. 

Mrs.  Dangerfield  rang  for  old  Sarah  and  in- 
structed her  to  pull  the  gorse  prickles  out  of  Cap- 
tain Easter's  clothes.  She  had  nearly  finished  when 
Sir  Maurice  returned.  He  carried  a  handkerchief 
in  his  hand,  and  he  had  recovered  his  superb  self- 
possession;  but  he  seemed  somewhat  exhausted. 

Captain  Baster  was  somewhat  excessive  in  the 
part  of  the  wounded  hero ;  and  for  a  while  he  con- 
tinued to  talk  ferociously  of  the  vengeance  he  would 
wreak  on  the  scoundrelly  villagers.  But  after  a 
while  he  forgot  his  pricks  and  bruises  to  bask  in  the 
presence  of  Sir  Maurice ;  and  he  plied  him  with  un- 
flagging friendliness  for  the  rest  of  the  evening. 

The  Twins  were  allowed  to  sit  up  till  ten  o'clock 
since  their  Uncle  Maurice  was  staying  with  them; 
and  since  the  Terror  was  full  of  admiration  and 
approval  of  Erebus'  strenuous  endeavor  to  instil 
into  Captain  Baster  the  perils  and  drawbacks  of 
stepfatherhood,  he  brushed  out  her  abundant  hair 
for  her,  an  office  he  sometimes  performed  when  she 


GUARDIAN  ANGELS  45 

was  in  high  favor  with  him.     As  he  did  it  she  re- 
lated gleefully  the  stoning  of  their  enemy. 

When  she  had  done,  he  said  warmly :     "  It  was 
ripping.     But  the  nuisance  is:  he  doesn't  know  it 
was  you  who  did  it,  and  so  it's  rather  wasted." 
.'''"Don't  you  worry:  I'll  let  him  know  sometime 
to-morrow,"  said  Erebus  firmly. 

"  Yes;  but  he's  awfully  waxy:  suppose  he  prose- 
cutes you?"  said  the  Terror  doubtfully. 

Erebus  considered  the  point ;  then  she  said :  "  I 
don't  think  he'd  do  that;  he'd  look  so  silly  being 
stoned  by  a  girl.  Anyhow,  I'll  chance  it." 

"All  right,"  said  the  Terror.  "It's  worth 
chancing  it  to  put  him  off  marrying  mother.  And 
of  course  Uncle  Maurice  is  here.  He'll  see  nothing 
serious  happens." 

"  Of  course  he  will,"  said  Erebus. 

It  must  have  been  that  the  unflagging  friendli- 
ness of  Captain  Baster  had  weighed  on  their  uncle's 
mind,  for  Erebus,  coming  softly  on  him  from  be- 
hind as  he  leaned  over  the  garden  gate  after  break- 
fast, heard  him  singing  to  himself,  and  paused  to 
listen  to  his  song. 

It  went : 


46  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"  Where  did  his  colonel  dig  him  up, 

So  young,  so  fair,  so  sweet, 
With  his  shining  nose,  and  his  square,  square 

toes? 
Was  it  Wapping  or  Basing  hall  Street?  " 

He  was  so  pleased  with  the  effort  that  he  sang 
it  over  to  himself,  softly,  twice  with  an  air  of  deep 
satisfaction;  and  twice  the  moving  but  silent  lips 
of  Erebus  repeated  it. 

He  was  silent ;  and  she  said :  "  Oh,  uncle !  It's 
splendid !  " 

Sir  Maurice  started  and  turned  sharply :  "  You 
tell  any  one,  little  pitcher,  and  I'll  pull  your  long 
ears,"  he  said  amiably. 

Erebus  made  no  rash  promises;  she  gazed  at  him 
with  inscrutable  eyes ;  then  nodding  toward  a  figure 
striding  swiftly  over  the  common,  she  said :  "  Here 
he  comes." 

Sir  Maurice  gained  the  threshold  of  the  front 
door  in  two  bounds,  paused  and  cried :  "  I'm  go- 
ing back  to  bed !  Tell  him  I'm  in  bed !  " 

He  vanished,  slamming  the  door  behind  him. 

Captain  Baster  asked  for  Sir  Maurice  cheerfully ; 
and  his  face  fell  when  Erebus  told  him  that  he  had 
gone  back  to  bed.  Mrs.  Dangerfield,  informed  of 


GUARDIAN  ANGELS  47 

her  brother's  shrinking,  had  to  be  very  firm  with 
his  new  friend  to  induce  him  to  go  for  a  walk  with 
her  and  Erebus.  He  showed  an  inclination  to  lin- 
ger about  the  house  till  his  sun  should  rise. 

Then  he  tried  to  shorten  the  walk;  but  in  this 
matter  too  Mrs.  Dangerfield  was  firm.  She  did  not 
bring  him  back  till  half  past  twelve,  only  to  learn 
that  Sir  Maurice  was  very  busy  writing  letters  in 
his  bedroom.  Captain  Baster  hoped  for  an  invita- 
tion to  lunch  (he  hinted  as  much)  but  he  was  dis- 
appointed. In  the  end  he  returned  to  The  Plough, 
chafing  furiously ;  he  felt  that  his  morning  had  been 
barren. 

He  was  soon  back  at  Colet  House,  but  too  late; 
Sir  Maurice  had  started  on  a  walk  with  the  Ter- 
ror. Captain  Baster  said  cheerily  that  he  would 
overtake  them,  and  set  out  briskly  to  do  so.  He 
walked  hard  enough  to  compass  that  end;  and  it  is 
probable  that  he  would  have  had  a  much  better 
chance  of  succeeding,  had  not  Erebus  sent  him  east- 
ward whereas  Sir  Maurice  and  the  Terror  had 
gone  westward. 

Captain  Baster  returned  to  Colet  House  in  time 
for  tea ;  and  his  heart  swelled  big  within  him  to  learn 


48  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

that  Mrs.  Dangerfield  had  invited  some  friends  to 
meet  him  and  her  brother.  Here  was  his  chance  to 
shine,  to  show  Sir  Maurice  his  social  mettle. 

He  could  have  wished  that  the  party  had  been 
larger.  They  were  only  a  dozen  all  told:  Mr. 
Carruthers,  the  squire  of  Little  Deeping,  the  vicar 
and  his  wife,  the  higher  mathematician,  father  of 
Wiggins,  Mrs.  Blenkinsop  and  Mrs.  Morton,  and 
Wiggins  himself,  who  had  spent  most  of  the  after- 
noon with  Erebus.  Captain  Baster  would  have  pre- 
ferred thirty  or  forty,  but  none  the  less  he  fell  to 
work  with  a  will. 

Mrs.  Dangerfield  had  taken  advantage  of  the 
Indian  summer  afternoon  to  have  tea  in  the  garden ; 
and  it  gave  him  room  to  expand.  He  was  soon  the 
life  and  soul  of  the  gathering.  He  was  humorous 
with  the  vicar  about  the  church,  and  with  the  squire 
about  the  dulling  effect  of  the  country  on  the  intelli- 
gence. He  tried  to  be  humorous  with  Mr.  Car- 
rington,  the  higher  mathematician,  whom  he  took 
to  have  retired  from  some  profession  or  business. 
This  was  so  signal  a  failure  that  he  dropped  hu- 
mor and  became  important,  telling  them  of  his  flat 
in  town  and  his  country-house,  their  size  and  their 


GUARDIAN  ANGELS  49 

expensive  furniture ;  he  told  them  about  his  motor- 
cars, his  exploits  at  regimental  cricket,  at  polo  and 
at  golf. 

He  patronized  every  one  with  a  splendid  affability, 
every  one  except  Sir  Maurice ;  and  him  he  addressed, 
with  a  flattering  air  of  perfect  equality,  as  "  Mau- 
rice, old  boy,"  or  "Maurice,  old  chap,"  or  plain 
"  Maurice."  He  did  shine;  his  agreeable  exertions 
threw  him  into  a  warm  perspiration ;  his  nose  shone 
especially;  and  they  all  hated  him. 

The  Twins  were  busy  handing  round  tea-cups  and 
cakes,  but  they  were  aware  that  their  mother's  tea- 
party  was  a  failure.  As  a  rule  her  little  parties 
were  so  pleasant  with  their  atmosphere  of  friendli- 
ness ;  and  her  guests  went  away  pleased  with  them- 
selves, her  and  one  another.  The  Terror  was 
keenly  alive  to  the  effect  of  Captain  Baster;  and  a 
faint  persistent  frown  troubled  his  serenity.  Erebus 
was  more  dimly  aware  that  her  enemy  was  spoiling 
the  party.  Only  Sir  Maurice  and  Mr.  Carrington 
really  enjoyed  the  humorist;  and  Sir  Maurice's  en- 
joyment was  mingled  with  vexation. 

Every  one  had  finished  their  tea;  and  they  were 
listening  to  Captain  Baster  in  a  dull  aggravation 


5o  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

and  blank  silence,  when  he  came  to  the  end  of  his 
panegyric  on  his  possessions  and  accomplishments, 
and  remembered  his  grievance.  Forthwith  he  re- 
lated at  length  the  affair  of  the  night  before :  how 
he  had  been  stoned  by  a  dozen  hulking  scoundrels 
on  the  common.  When  he  came  to  the  end  of  it, 
he  looked  round  for  sympathy. 

His  audience  wore  a  strained  rather  than  sympa- 
thetic air,  all  of  them  except  the  higher  mathema- 
tician who  had  turned  away  and  was  coughing  vio- 
lently. 

The  vicar  broke  the  silence ;  he  said :  "  Er  —  er 
—  yes;  most  extraordnary.  But  I  don't  think  it 
could  have  been  the  villagers.  They're  —  er — < 
very  peaceful  people." 

"  It  must  have  been  some  rowdies  from  Rowing- 
ton,"  said  the  squire  in  the  loud  tone  of  a  man  try- 
ing to  persuade  his  hearers  that  he  believed  what 
he  said. 

Erebus  rose  and  walked  to  the  gravel  path ;  their 
eyes  fixed  in  an  incredulous  unwinking  stare. 

She  picked  up  three  pebbles  from  the  path,  choos- 
ing them  with  some  care.  The  first  pebble  hit  the 
weathercock,  which  rose  above  the  right  gable  of 


GUARDIAN  ANGELS  51 

the  house,  plumb  in  the  middle;  the  second  missed 
its  tail  by  a  couple  of  inches;  the  third  hit  its  tail, 
and  the  weathercock  spun  round  as  if  a  vigorous 
gale  were  devoting  itself  to  its  tail  only. 

"  That's  where  I  meant  to  hit  it  the  first  time," 
said  Erebus  with  a  little  explanatory  wave  of  her 
hand;  and  she  returned  to  her  seat. 

The  silence  that  fell  was  oppressive.  Captain 
Baster  gazed  earnestly  at  Erebus,  his  roving  black 
eyes  fixed  in  an  incredulous  unwinking  stare. 

"  That  shows  you  the  danger  of  jumping  to  hasty 
conclusions,"  said  the  higher  mathematician  in  his 
clear  agreeable  voice.  "  I  made  sure  it  was  the 
Terror." 

"  So  did  I,"  said  the  vicar. 

"  I'd  have  bet  on  it,"  said  the  squire. 

The  silence  fell  again.  Mechanically  Captain 
Baster  rubbed  the  blue  bump  on  his  marble  brow. 

Erebus  broke  the  silence ;  she  said :  "  Has  any 
one  heard  Wiggins'  new  song  ?  " 

The  squire,  hastily  and  thoughtlessly,  cried: 
"No!  Let's  hear  it!" 

"  Come  on,  Wiggins !  "  cried  the  vicar  heartily. 

They  felt  that  the  situation  was  saved. 


'52  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

Sir  Maurice  did  not  share  their  relief;  he  knew 
what  was  coming,  knew  it  in  the  depths  of  his  hor- 
ror-stricken heart.  He  ground  his  teeth  softly  and 
glared  at  the  piquant  and  glowing  face  of  his  niece 
as  if  he  could  haye  borne  the  earth's  suddenly  open- 
ing and  swallowing  her  up. 

The  blushing  Wiggins  held  back  a  little,  and 
kicked  his  left  foot  with  his  right.  Then  pushed 
forward  by  the  eager  Terror,  to  whom  Erebus  had 
chanted  the  song  before  lunch,  he  stepped  forward 
and  in  his  clear  shrill  treble,  sang,  slightly  out  of 
tune: 

"  Where  did  his  colonel  dig  him  up, 

So  young,  so  fair,  so  sweet, 
With  his  shining  nose,  and  his  square,  square 

toes? 
Was  it  Wapping  or  Basinghall  Street?  " 

As  he  sang  Wiggins  looked  artlessly  at  Captain 
Baster;  as  he  finished  everybody  was  looking  at 
Captain  Easter's  boots;  his  feet  required  them 
square-toed. 

Captain  Easter's  face  was  a  rich  rose-pink;  he 
glared  round  the  frozen  circle  now  trying  hard  not 
to  look  at  his  boots;  he  saw  the  faces  melt  into  ir- 
repressible smiles;  he  looked  to  Sir  Maurice,  the 


. 


"Hooligans  1" 


GUARDIAN  ANGELS  53 

man  he  had  made  his  bosom  friend,  for  an  indig- 
nant outburst;  Sir  Maurice  was  smiling,  too. 

Captain  Baster  snorted  fiercely;  then  he  swelled 
with  splendid  dignity,  and  said  loudly,  but  thickly, 
"  I  refuse!  Yes,  I  refuse  to  mix  in  a  society  where 
children  are  brought  up  as  hooligans  —  yes;  as 
hooligans !  " 

He  turned  on  his  heel,  strode  to  the  gate,  and 
turned  and  bellowed,  "  Hooligans !  " 

He  flung  himself  through  the  gate  and  strode  vio- 
lently across  the  common. 

"Oh,  Wiggins!  How  could  you?"  cried  Mrs. 
Dangerfield  in  a  tone  of  horror. 

"  It  wasn't  Wiggins !  It  was  me !  I  taught  him. 
He  didn't  understand,"  said  Erebus  loyally. 

"  I  did  understand  —  quite.  But  why  did  he  call 
me  Freckles?"  said  Wiggins  in  a  vengeful  tone. 
"  Nobody  can  help  having  freckles." 


CHAPTER  III 

AND  THE  CATS'  HOME 

THEY  watched  the  retreating  figure  of  Captain 
Baster  till  it  was  lost  to  sight  among  the 
gorse,  in  silence.  They  were  glad  at  his  going,  but 
sorry  at  the  manner  of  it,  since  Mrs.  Dangerfield 
looked  distressed  and  vexed. 

Then  the  vicar  said :  "  There  is  a  good  deal  to 
be  said  for  the  point  of  view  of  Wiggins,  Mrs. 
Dangerfield.  After  all,  Captain  Baster  was  the 
original  aggressor." 

"Nevertheless  I  must  apologize  for  my  son's  ex- 
ploding such  an  uncommonly  violent  bomb  at  a 
quiet  garden  party,"  said  the  higher  mathemati- 
cian. "  I  suspect  he  underrated  its  effect." 

His  tone  was  apologetic,  but  there  was  no  excess 
of  contrition  in  it. 

"  What  I  think  is  that  Captain  Easter's  notion  of 
humor  is  catching;  and  that  it  affected  Erebus  and 

54 


AND  THE  CATS'  HOME  55 

Wiggins,"  said  Sir  Maurice  amiably.  "  And  if  we 
start  apologizing,  there  will  be  no  end  to  it.  I 
should  have  to  come  in  myself  as  the  maker  of  the 
bomb  who  carelessly  left  it  lying  about." 

"It  was  certainly  a  happy  effort,"  said  the  vicar, 
smiling.  Then  he  changed  the  subject  firmly,  say- 
ing :  "  We're  going  to  London  next  week ;  perhaps 
you  could  recommend  a  play  to  us  to  go  to,  Sir 
Maurice." 

A  faint  ripple  of  grateful  relaxation  ran  round 
the  circle  and  presently  it  was  clear  that  in  taking 
himself  off  Captain  Baster  had  lifted  a  wet  blanket 
of  quite  uncommon  thickness  from  the  party.  They 
were  talking  easily  and  freely;  and  Mrs.  Danger- 
field  and  Sir  Maurice  were  seeing  to  it  that  every 
one,  even  Mrs.  Blenkinsop  and  Mrs.  Morton,  were 
getting  their  little  chances  of  shining.  The  Twins 
and  Wiggins  slipped  away;  and  their  elders  talked 
the  more  at  their  ease  for  their  going.  In  the  end 
the  little  gathering  which  Captain  Baster  had  so 
nearly  crushed,  broke  up  in  the  best  of  spirits,  all 
the  guests  in  a  state  of  amiable  satisfaction  with 
Mrs.  Dangerfield,  themselves  and  one  another. 

After  they  had  gone  Sir  Maurice  and  Mrs.  Dan- 


56  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

gerfield  discussed  the  exploits  of  Erebus;  and  he 
did  his  best  to  abate  her  distress  at  the  two  on- 
slaughts his  violent  niece  had  made  on  a  guest. 
The  Terror  was  also  doing  his  best  in  the  matter: 
with  unbending  firmness  he  prevented  Erebus,  eager 
to  enjoy  her  uncle's  society,  from  returning  to  the 
house  till  it  was  time  to  dress  for  dinner.  He 
wished  to  give  his  mother  time  to  get  over  the 
worst  of  her  annoyance. 

Thanks  to  their  efforts  Mrs.  Dangerfield  did  not 
rebuke  her  violent  daughter  with  any  great  severity. 
But  even  so,  Erebus  did  not  receive  these  milder  re- 
bukes in  the  proper  meek  spirit.  Unlike  the  philo- 
sophic Terror,  who  for  the  most  part  accepted  his 
mother's  just  rebukes,  after  a  doubtful  exploit,  with 
a  disarming  sorrowful  air,  Erebus  must  always 
make  out  a  case  for  herself ;  and  she  did  so  now. 

Displaying  an  injured  air,  she  took  the  ground 
that  Captain  Baster  was  not  really  a  guest  on  the 
previous  evening,  since  he  was  making  a  descent  on 
the  house  uninvited,  and  therefore  he  did  not  come 
within  the  sphere  of  the  laws  of  hospitality. 

"  Besides  he  never  behaved  like  a  guest,"  she  went 
on  in  a  bitterly  aggrieved  tone.  "  He  was  always 


AND  THE  CATS'  HOME  57 

making  himself  objectionable  to  every  one  —  espe- 
cially to  me.  And  if  he  was  always  trying  to  score 
off  me,  I'd  a  perfect  right  to  score  off  him.  And 
anyhow,  I  wasn't  going  to  let  him  marry  you  with- 
out doing  everything  I  could  to  stop  it.  He'd 
be  a  perfectly  beastly  stepfather  —  you  know  he 
would." 

This  was  an  aspect  of  the  matter  Mrs.  Danger- 
field  had  no  desire  to  discuss;  and  flushing  a  little, 
she  contented  herself  with  closing  the  discussion  by 
telling  Erebus  not  to  do  it  again.  She  knew  that 
however  bitterly  Erebus  might  protest  against  a 
just  rebuke,  she  would  take  it  sufficiently  to  heart. 
She  was  sure  that  she  would  not  stone  another 
guest. 

With  the  departure  of  Captain  Baster  peace 
settled  on  Colet  House;  and  Sir  Maurice  enjoyed 
very  much  his  three  days'  stay.  The  Twins,  though 
they  were  in  that  condition  of  subdued  vivacity  into 
which  they  always  fell  after  a  signal  exploit  that 
came  to  their  mother's  notice,  were  very  pleasant 
companions;  and  the  peaceful  life  and  early  hours 
of  Little  Deeping  were  grateful  after  the  London 
whirl.  Also  he  had  many  talks  with  his  sister  on 


58  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

the  matter  of  settling  down  in  life,  a  course  of  action 
she  frequently  urged  on  him. 

When  he  went  the  Twins  felt  a  certain  dulness. 
It  was  not  acute  boredom;  they  were  preserved 
from  that  by  the  fact  that  the  Terror  went  every 
morning  to  study  the  classics  with  the  vicar,  and 
Erebus  learned  English  and  French  with  her 
mother.  Their  afternoon  leisure,  therefore,  rarely 
palled  on  them. 

One  afternoon,  as  they  came  out  of  the  house 
after  lunch,  Erebus  suggested  that  they  should  begin 
by  ambushing  Wiggins.  They  went,  therefore,  to- 
ward Mr.  Carrington's  house  which  stood  nearly 
a  mile  away  on  the  outskirts  of  Little  Deeping,  and 
watched  it  from  the  edge  of  the  common.  They 
saw  their  prey  in  the  garden;  and  he  tried  their 
patience  by  staying  there  for  nearly  a  quarter  of  an 
hour. 

Then  he  came  briskly  up  the  road  to  the  common. 
Their  eyes  began  to  shine  with  the  expectation  of 
immediate  triumph,  when,  thirty  yards  from  the 
common's  edge,  in  a  sudden  access  of  caution,  he 
bolted  for  covert  and  disappeared  in  the  gorse  sixty 
yards  away  on  their  left.  They  fell  noiselessly 


AND  THE  CATS'  HOME  59 

back,  going  as  quickly  as  concealment  permitted,  to 
cut  him  oft.  They  were  successful.  They  caught 
him  crossing  an  open  space,  yelled  "Bang!"  to- 
gether ;  and  in  accordance  with  the  rules  of  the  game 
Wiggins  fell  to  the  ground. 

They  scalped  him  with  yells  of  such  a  piercing 
triumph  that  the  immemorial  oaks  for  a  quarter  of 
a  mile  round  emptied  themselves  hastily  of  the 
wood-pigeons  feeding  on  their  acorns. 

Wiggins  rose  gloomily,  gloomily  took  from  his 
knickerbockers  pocket  his  tattered  and  grimy  note- 
book, gloomily  made  an  entry  in  it,  and  gloomily 
said  :  "  That  makes  you  two  games  ahead."  Then 
he  spurned  the  earth  and  added :  "  I'm  going  to 
have  a  bicycle." 

The  Twins  looked  at  each  other  darkly;  Erebus 
scowled,  and  a  faint  frown  broke  the  ineffable  se- 
renity of  the  Terror's  face. 

"  There'll  be  no  living  with  Wiggins  now.,  he'll 
be  so  cocky,"  said  Erebus  bitterly. 

"Oh,  no;  he  won't,"  said  the  Terror.  "But 
we  ought  to  have  bicycles,  too.  We  want  them 
badly.  We  never  get  really  far  from  the  village. 
We  always  get  stopped  on  the  way  —  rats,  or  some- 


60  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

thing."     And  his  guileless,  dreamy  blue  eyes  swept 
the  distant  autumn  hills  with  a  look  of  yearning. 

"  There  are  orchards  over  there  where  they  don't 
know  us,"  said  Erebus  wistfully. 

"  We  must  have  bicycles.  I've  been  thinking  so 
for  a  long  time,"  said  the  Terror. 

"  We  must  have  the  moon ! "  said  Erebus  with 
cold  scorn. 

"  Bicycles  aren't  so  far  away,"  said  the  Terror 
sagely. 

They  moved  swiftly  across  the  common.  Erebus 
poured  forth  a  long  monotonous  complaint  about 
the  lack  of  bicycles,  which,  for  them,  made  this 
Cosmic  All  a  mere  time-honored  cheat.  With 
ears  impervious  to  his  sister's  vain  lament,  the 
Terror  strode  on  serenely  thoughtful,  pondering  this 
pressing  problem.  Now  and  again,  for  obscure  but 
profound  reasons,  Wiggins  spurned  the  earth  and 
proceeded  by  leaps  and  bounds. 

Possibly  it  was  the  monotonous  plaint  of  his  sis- 
ter which  caused  the  Terror  to  say :     "  I've  got  a 
penny.     We'll  go  and  get  some  bull's-eyes." 
At  any  rate  the  monotonous  plaint  ceased. 
They  had  returned  on  their  steps  across  the  com- 


AND  THE  CATS'  HOME  61 

mon,  and  were  nearing  the  village,  when  they  met 
three  small  boys.  One  of  them  carried  a  kitten. 

Erebus  stopped  short.  "  What  are  you  going  to 
do  with  that  kitten,  Billy  Beck  ?  "  she  said. 

"  We  be  goin'  to  drown  'im  in  the  pond,"  said 
Billy  Beck  in  the  important  tones  of  an  executioner. 

Erebus  sprang;  and  the  kitten  was  in  her  hands. 
"  You're  not  going  to  do  anything  of  the  sort,  you 
little  beast !  "  she  said. 

The  round  red  face  of  Billy  Beck  flushed  redder 
with  rage  and  disappointment,  and  he  howled: 
"  Gimme  my  kitty !  Mother  says  she  won't  'ave 
'im  about  the  'ouse,  an'  I  could  drown  'im." 

"  You  won't  have  him,"  said  Erebus. 

Billy  Beck  and  his  little  brothers,  robbed  of  their 
simple  joy,  burst  into  blubbering  roar  of  "  It's  ourn ! 
It  ain't  yourn !  It's  ourn !  " 

"It  isn't!  A  kitten  isn't  any  one's  to  drown!" 
cried  Erebus. 

The  Terror  gazed  at  Erebus  and  Billy  Beck  with 
judicial  eyes,  the  cold  personification  of  human  jus- 
tice. Erebus  edged  away  from  him  ready  to  fly, 
should  human  justice  intervene  actively.  The  Ter- 
ror put  his  hand  in  his  pocket  and  fumbled.  He 


62  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

drew  out  a  penny,  and  looked  at  it  earnestly.  He 
was  weighing  the  respective  merits  of  justice  and 
bull's-eyes. 

"  Here's  a  penny  for  your  kitten.  You  can  buy 
bull's-eyes  with  it,"  he  said  with  a  sigh,  and  held 
out  the  coin. 

A  sudden  greed  sparkled  in  Billy  Beck's  tearful 
eyes.  "  'E's  worth  more'n  a  penny  —  a  kitty  like 
'im !  "  he  blubbered. 

"Not  to  drown.  It's  all  you'll  get,"  said  the 
Terror  curtly.  He  tossed  the  penny  to  Billy's  feet, 
turned  on  his  heel  and  went  back  across  the  com- 
mon away  from  the  village.  Some  of  the  bright- 
ness faded  out  of  the  faces  of  Erebus  and  Wiggins. 

"  I  wouldn't  have  given  him  a  penny.  He  was 
only  going  to  drown  the  kitten,"  said  Erebus  in  a 
grudging  tone. 

"It  was  his  kitten.  We  couldn't  take  it  with- 
out paying  for  it,"  said  the  Terror  coldly. 

Erebus  followed  him,  cuddling  the  kitten  and 
talking  to  it  as  she  went. 

Presently  Wiggins  spurned  the  earth  and  said, 
"  There  ought  to  be  a  home  for  kittens  nobody 
wants  —  and  puppies." 


AND  THE  CATS'  HOME  63 

The  Terror  stopped  short,  and  said :  "  By  Jove ! 
There's  Aunt  Amelia !  " 

Erebus  burst  into  a  bitter  complaint  of  the  stingi- 
ness of  Aunt  Amelia,  who  had  more  money  than 
all  the  rest  of  the  family  put  together,  and  yet 
never  rained  postal  orders  on  deserving  nieces  and 
nephews,  but  spent  it  all  on  horrid  cats'  homes. 

"  That's  just  it,"  said  the  Terror  in  a  tone  of 
considerable  animation.  "  Come  along ;  I  want  you 
to  write  a  letter." 

"  I'm  not  going  to  write  any  disgusting  letter !  " 
cried  Erebus  hotly. 

"  Then  you're  not  going  to  get  any  bicycle. 
Come  on.  I'll  look  out  the  words  in  the  dictionary, 
and  Wiggins  can  help  because,  seeing  so  much  of 
his  father,  he's  got  into  the  way  of  using  grammar. 
It'll  be  useful.  Come  on!" 

They  came  on,  Wiggins,  as  always,  deeply  im- 
pressed by  the  importance  of  being  a  helper  of  the 
Twins,  for  they  were  in  their  fourteenth  year,  and 
only  ten  brief  wet  summers  had  passed  over  his  own 
tousled  head,  Erebus  clamoring  to  have  her  sud- 
denly aroused  curiosity  gratified.  Practise  had 
made  the  Terror's  ears  impervious  at  will  to  his 


64  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

sister's  questions,  which  were  frequent  and  innu- 
merable. Without  a  word  of  explanation  he  led 
the  way  home;  without  a  word  he  set  her  down  at 
the  dining-room  table  with  paper  and  ink  before 
her,  and  sat  down  himself  on  the  opposite  side  of 
it,  a  dictionary  in  his  hand  and  Wiggins  by  his 
side. 

Then  he  said  coldly :  "  Now  don't  make  any 
blots,  or  you'll  have  to  do  it  all  over  again." 

"I  never  make  blots!  It's  you  that  makes 
blots ! "  cried  Erebus,  ruffled.  "  Mr.  Etheridge 
says  I  write  ever  so  much  better  than  you  do. 
Ever  so  much  better." 

"  That's  why  you're  writing  the  letter  and  not 
me,"  said  the  Terror  coldly.  "  Fire  away :  '  My 
dear  Aunt  Amelia ' —  I  say,  Wiggins,  what's  the 
proper  words  for  '  awfully  keen  '  ?  " 

"  *  Keen  '  is  '  interested  ' —  I  don't  know  how 
many  *  r's  '  there  are  in  '  interested  ' —  and  '  awfully  ' 
is  an  awfully  difficult  word,"  said  Wiggins,  ponder- 
ing. 

The  Terror  looked  up  "  interested  "  in  the  dic- 
tionary with  a  laborious  pain  fulness,  and  announced 
triumphantly  that  there  was  but  a  single  "  r  "  in  it ; 


AND  THE  CATS'  HOME  65 

then  he  said,  "  What's  the  right  word  for  '  awfully,' 
Wiggins  ?  Buck  up !  " 

"  '  Tremendously,' "  said  Wiggins  with  the  air 
of  a  successful  Columbus. 

"  That's  it,"  said  the  Terror.  " '  My  dear  Aunt 
Amelia:  I  have  often  heard  that  you  are  tre- 
mendously interested  in  cats'  homes  '  " — 

"  I  should  think  you  had !  "  said  Erebus. 

"  Now  don't  jabber,  please;  just  stick  to  the  writ- 
ing," said  the  Terror.  "  I've  got  to  make  this  let- 
ter a  corker;  and  how  can  I  think  if  you  jabber?" 

Erebus  made  a  hideous  grimace  and  bent  to  her 
task. 

"  '  Little  Deeping  wants  a  cats'  home  awfully ' — 
no :  '  tremendously.'  I  like  that  word  '  tremen- 
dously ' ;  it  means  something,"  said  the  Terror. 

"You're  jabbering  yourself  now,"  said  Erebus 
unpleasantly. 

Ruffling  his  fair  hair  in  the  agony  of  composition, 
the  Terror  continued:  "'The  quantity  of  kittens 
that  are  drowned  is  horrible  ' —  that  ought  to  fetch 
her ;  kittens  are  so  much  nicer  than  cats  — '  and  I 
have  been  thinking ' —  Oughtn't  you  to  put  in 
some  stops  ?  " 


66  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"  I'm  putting  in  stops  —  lots,"  said  Erebus  con- 
temptuously. 

"  '  I  have  been  thinking  —  that  if  you  wanted  to 
have  a  cats'  home  here ' —  What's  the  right  word 
for  *  running  a  thing/  Wiggins  ?  " 

Wiggins  frowned  deeply ;  a  number  of  his  freckles 
seemed  to  run  into  one  another. 

''  There  is  a  word  '  overseer  ' —  slaves  have  them," 
he  said  cautiously. 

The  Terror  sought  that  word  painfully  in  the 
dictionary,  spelled  it  out,  and  continued :  "  '  I  could 
overseer  it  for  you.  I  have  got  my  eye  on  a  build- 
ing which  would  suit  us  tremendously  well.  But 
these  things  cost  money,  and  it  would  not  be  any 
use  starting  with  less  than  thirty  pounds  '- 

"  Thirty  pounds !  My  goodness !  "  cried  Erebus ; 
and  her  eyes  opened  wide. 

"  We  may  as  well  go  the  whole  hog,"  said  the 
Terror  philosophically.  "  Go  on :  '  Or  else  just  as 
the  cats  get  to  be  happy  and  feel  it  was  a  real 
home  — '  What's  the  word  for  '  bust  up,'  Wig- 
gins?" 

"  Burst  up,"  said  Wiggins  without  hesitation. 

"No,  no;  not  the  grammar  —  the  right  word! 


AND  THE  CATS'  HOME  67 

Oh,  I  know ; '  go  bankrupt ' — '  it  might  go  bankrupt. 
So  if  you  would  like  to  have  a  cats'  home  here  and 
send  me  some  money,  I  will  start  it  at  once.  Your 
affectionate  nephew,  Hyacinth  Wolfram  Danger- 
field.'  There ! "  said  the  Terror  with  a  sigh  of  re- 
lief. 

"  But  you've  left  me  out  altogether,"  said  Erebus 
in  a  suddenly  aggrieved  tone. 

"I  should  jolly  well  think  I  had!  You  know 
that  ever  since  you  stayed  with  Aunt  Amelia,  and 
taught  her  parrot  to  say  '  Dam,'  she  won't  have  any- 
thing to  do  with  you,"  said  the  Terror  firmly. 

"  There's  no  pleasing  some  people,"  said  Erebus 
mournfully.  "  When  I  went  there  the  silly  old  par- 
rot couldn't  say  a  thing;  and  when  I  came  away,  he 
could  say  '  Dam !  Dam !  Dam ! '  from  morning  till 
night  without  making  a  mistake." 

"  It's  a  word  people  don't  like,"  said  the  Ter- 
ror. 

"  Well,  I  and  the  parrot  meant  a  dam  in  a  river. 
I  told  Aunt  Amelia  so,"  said  Erebus  firmly. 

"  She  might  not  believe  you ;  she  doesn't  know 
how  truthfully  we've  been  brought  up,"  said  the 
Terror.  "  Go  on ;  sign  my  name  to  the  letter." 


68 

"  That's  forgery.  You  ought  to  sign  your  name 
yourself,"  said  Erebus. 

"  No ;  you  write  my  name  better  than  I  do ;  and  it 
will  go  better  with  the  rest  of  the  letter.  Sign 
away,"  said  the  Terror  firmly. 

Erebus  signed  away,  and  then  she  said :  "  But 
what  good's  the  money  going  to  be  to  us,  if  we've 
got  to  spend  it  on  a  silly  old  cats'  home?  It  only 
means  a  lot  of  trouble." 

The  guilelessness  deepened  and  deepened  on  the 
Terror's  face.  "  Well,  you  see,  there  aren't  many 
cats  in  Little  Deeping  —  not  ^nough  to  fill  a  cats' 
home  decently,"  he  said  slowly.  "  We  should 
have  to  have  bicycles  to  collect  them  —  from  Great 
Deeping,  and  Muttle  Deeping,  and  farther  off." 

Erebus  gasped ;  and  the  light  of  understanding  il- 
lumined her  charming  face,  as  she  cried  in  a  tone  of 
awe  not  untinctured  with  admiration :  "  Well,  you 
do  think  of  things !  " 

"  I  have  to,"  said  the  Terror.  "  If  I  didn't  we 
should  never  have  a  single  thing." 

The  Terror  procured  a  stamp  from  Mrs.  Dan- 
gerfield.  He  did  not  tell  her  of  the  splendid  scheme 
he  was  promoting ;  he  only  said  that  he  had  thought 


AND  THE  CATS'  HOME  69 

he  would  write  to  Aunt  Amelia.  Mrs.  Dangerfield 
was  pleased  with  him  for  his  thought:  she  wished 
him  to  stand  well  with  his  great-aunt,  since  she 
was  a  rich  woman  without  children  of  her  own. 
She  did  not,  indeed,  suggest  that  the  letter  should 
be  shown  to  her,  though  she  suspected  that  it  con- 
tained some  artless  request.  She  thought  it  better 
that  the  Terror  should  write  to  his  great-aunt  to 
make  requests  rather  than  not  write  at  all. 

The  letter  posted,  the  Twins  resumed  the  some- 
what jerky  tenor  of  their  lives.  Erebus  was  full 
of  speculations  about  the  changes  in  their  lives 
those  bicycles  would  bring  about;  she  would  pause 
in  the  very  middle  of  some  important  enterprise  to 
discuss  the  rides  they  would  take  on  them,  the  or- 
chards that  those  machines  would  bring  within 
their  reach.  But  the  Terror  would  have  none  of 
it;  his  calm  philosophic  mind  forbade  him  to  dis- 
cuss his  chickens  before  they  were  hatched. 

Since  her  philanthropy  was  confined  entirely  to 
cats,  it  is  not  remarkable  that  philanthropy,  and  not 
intelligence,  was  the  chief  characteristic  of  Lady 
Ryehampton.  As  the  purport  of  her  great-nephew's 
letter  slowly  penetrated  her  mind,  a  broad  and 


70  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

beaming  smile  of  gratification  spread  slowly  over 
her  large  round  face;  and  as  she  handed  the  letter 
to  Miss  Hendersyde,  her  companion,  she  cried  in 
unctuous  tones :  "  The  dear  boy !  So  young,  but 
already  enthusiastic  about  great  things !  " 

Miss  Hendersyde  looked  at  her  employer  pa- 
tiently; she  foresaw  that  she  was  going  to  have  to 
struggle  with  her  to  save  her  from  being  once  more 
victimized.  She  had  come  to  suspect  anything  that 
stirred  Lady  Ryehampton  to  a  noble  phrase.  Her 
eyes  brightened  with  humorous  appreciation  as  she 
read  the  letter  of  Erebus;  and  when  she  came  to 
the  end  of  it  she  opened  her  mouth  to  point  out  that 
Little  Deeping  was  one  of  the  last  places  in  England 
to  need  a  cats'  home.  Then  she  bethought  herself 
of  the  whole  situation,  shut  her  mouth  with  a  little 
click,  and  her  face  went  blank. 

Then  she  breathed  a  short  silent  prayer  for  for- 
giveness, smiled  and  said  warmly :  "  It's  really 
wonderful.  You  must  have  inspired  him  with  that 
enthusiasm  yourself." 

"  I  suppose  I  must,"  said  Lady  Ryehampton  with 
an  air  of  satisfaction.  "  And  I  must  be  careful  not 
to  discourage  him." 


AND  THE  CATS'  HOME  71 

Miss  Hendersyde  thought  of  the  Terror's  face, 
his  charming  sympathetic  manners,  and  his  darned 
knickerbockers.  It  was  only  right  that  some  of 
Lady  Ryehampton's  money  should  go  to  him;  in- 
deed that  money  ought  to  be  educating  him  at  a 
good  school.  It  was  monstrous  that  the  great  bulk 
of  it  should  be  spent  on  cats;  cats  were  all  very 
well  but  human  beings  came  first.  And  the  Ter- 
ror was  such  an  attractive  human  being. 

"  Yes,  it  is  a  dreadful  thing  to  discourage  en- 
thusiasm," she  said  gravely. 

Lady  Ryehampton  proceeded  to  discuss  the  ques- 
tion whether  a  cats'  home  could  be  properly  started 
with  thirty  pounds,  whether  she  had  not  better  send 
fifty.  Miss  Hendersyde  made  her  conscience  quite 
comfortable  by  compromising:  she  said  that  she 
thought  thirty  was  enough  to  begin  with;  that  if 
more  were  needful,  Lady  Ryehampton  could  give  it 
later.  Lady  Ryehampton  accepted  the  suggestion. 

Having  set  her  employer's  hand  to  the  plow, 
Miss  Hendersyde  saw  to  it  that  she  did  not  draw 
it  back.  Lady  Ryehampton  would  spend  money  on 
cats,  but  she  could  not  be  hurried  in  the  spending  of 
it.  But  Miss  Hendersyde  kept  referring  to  the 


72  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

Terror's  enterprise  all  that  day  and  the  next  morn- 
ing, with  the  result  that  on  the  next  afternoon  Lady 
Ryehampton  signed  the  check  for  thirty  pounds. 
At  Miss  Hendersyde's  suggestion  she  drew  the 
money  in  cash;  and  Miss  Hendersyde  turned  it  into 
postal  orders,  for  there  is  no  bank  at  Little  Deep- 
ing. 

On  the  third  morning  the  registered  letter  reached 
Colet  House.  The  excited  Erebus,  who  had  been 
watching  for  the  postman,  received  it  from  him, 
signed  the  receipt  with  trembling  fingers,  and  dashed 
off  with  the  precious  packet  to  the  Terror  in  the 
orchard. 

The  Terror  took  it  from  her  with  flawless  seren- 
ity and  opened  it  slowly. 

But  as  he  counted  the  postal  orders,  a  faint 
flush  covered  his  face;  and  he  said  in  a  somewhat 
breathless  tone :  "  Thirty  pounds  —  well !  " 

Erebus  executed  a  short  but  Bacchic  dance  which 
she  invented  on  the  spur  of  that  marvelous  mo- 
ment. 

"  It's  splendid  —  splendid !  "  she  cried.  "  It's 
the  best  thing  you  ever  thought  of !  " 

The  Terror  put  the  postal  orders  back  into  the 


AND  THE  CATS'  HOME  73 

envelope,  and  put  the  envelope  into  the  breast  pocket 
of  his  coat.  A  frown  of  the  most  thoughtful  con- 
sideration furrowed  his  brow.  Then  he  said 
firmly :  "  The  first  thing  to  do  is  to  get  the  bi- 
cycles. If  once  we've  got  them,  no  one  will  take 
them  away  from  us." 

"Of  course  they  won't,"  said  Erebus,  with  eager 
acceptance  of  his  idea. 

The  breakfast-bell  rang;  and  they  went  into  the 
house,  Erebus  spurning  the  earth  as  she  went,  in 
the  very  manner  of  Wiggins. 

In  the  middle  of  breakfast  the  Terror  said  in  a 
casual  tone  and  with  a  casual  air,  as  if  he  was  not 
greatly  eager  for  the  boon :  "  May  we  have  the 
cow-house  for  our  very  own,  Mum  ?  " 

"  Oh,  Terror !  Surely  you  don't  want  to  keep 
ferrets ! "  cried  Mrs.  Dangerfield,  who  lived  in  fear 
of  the  Terror's  developing  that  inevitable  boyish 
taste. 

"  Oh,  no ;  but  if  we  had  the  cow-house  to  do  what 
we  liked  with,  I  think  we  could  make  a  little  pocket- 
money  out  of  it." 

"  I  am  afraid  you're  growing  terribly  mercenary," 
said  his  mother ;  then  she  added  with  a  sigh :  "  But 


74  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

I  don't  wonder  at  it,  seeing  how  hard  up  you  always 
are.  You  can  have  the  cow-house.  It's  right  at 
the  end  of  the  paddock  —  well  away  from  the  house 
—  so  that  I  don't  see  that  you  can  do  any  harm 
with  it  whatever  you  do.  But  how  are  you  going 
to  make  pocket-money  out  of  it?" 

"  Oh,  I  haven't  got  it  all  worked  out  yet,"  said 
the  Terror  quickly.  "  But  we'll  tell  you  all  about 
it  when  we  have.  Thanks  ever  so  much  for  the 
cow-house." 

For  the  rest  of  breakfast  he  left  the  conversation 
to  Erebus. 

The  Terror  was  blessed  with  a  masterly  prudence 
uncommon  indeed  in  a  boy  of  his  years.  He 
changed  but  one  of  the  six  postal  orders  at  Little 
Deeping  —  that  would  make  talk  enough  —  and 
then,  having  begged  a  holiday  from  the  vicar,  he 
took  the  train  to  Rowington,  their  market  town,  ten 
miles  away,  taking  Erebus  with  him.  There  he 
changed  three  more  postal  orders;  and  then  the 
Twins  took  their  way  to  the  bicycle  shop,  with 
hearts  that  beat  high. 

The  Terror  set  about  the  purchase  in  a  very  care- 
ful leisurely  way  which,  in  any  one  else,  would  have 


AND  THE  CATS'  HOME  75 

exasperated  the  highly  strung  Erebus  to  the  very 
limits  of  endurance;  but  where  the  Terror  was  con- 
cerned she  had  long  ago  learned  the  futility  of  exas- 
peration. He  began  by  an  exhaustive  examination 
of  every  make  of  bicycle  in  the  shop;  and  he  made 
it  with  a  thoroughness  that  worried  the  eager 
bicycle-seller,  one  of  those  smart  young  men  who 
pamper  a  chin's  passion  for  receding  by  letting  a 
straggly  beard  try  to  cover  it,  till  his  nerves  were 
all  on  edge.  Then  the  Terror,  drawing  a  handful 
of  sovereigns  out  of  his  pocket  and  gazing  at  them 
lovingly,  seemed  unable  to  make  up  his  mind  whether 
to  buy  two  bicycles  or  one;  and  the  bearded  but 
chinless  young  man  perspired  with  his  eloquent  ef- 
forts to  demonstrate  the  .advantage  of  buying  two. 
He  was  quite  weary  when  the  persuaded  Terror 
proceeded  to  develop  the  point  that  there  must  be  a 
considerable  reduction  in  price  to  the  buyer  of  two 
bicycles.  Then  he  made  his  offer:  he  would  give 
fourteen  pounds  for  two  eight-pound-ten  bicycles. 
His  serenity  was  quite  unruffled  by  the  seller's  fu- 
rious protests.  Then  the  real  struggle  began.  The 
Terror  came  out  of  it  with  two  bicycles,  two  lamps, 
two  bells  and  two  baskets  of  a  size  to  hold  a  cat; 


76  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

the  seller  came  out  of  it  with  fifteen  pounds;  and 
the  triumphant  Twins  wheeled  their  machines  out 
of  the  shop. 

The  Terror  stood  still  and  looked  thoughtfully 
up  and  down  High  Street.  Then  he  said :  "  We've 
saved  the  cats'  home  quite  two  pounds." 

"  Yes,"  said  Erebus. 

"  And  it's  made  me  awfully  hungry  and  thirsty 
doing  it,"  said  the  Terror. 

"  It  must  have  —  arguing  like  that,"  said  Erebus 
quickly;  and  her  eyes  brightened  as  she  caught  his 
drift. 

"  Well,  I  think  the  home  ought  to  pay  for  re- 
freshment. It's  a  long  ride  home,"  said  the  Ter- 
ror. 

"  Of  course  it  ought,"  said  Erebus  with  decision. 

Without  more  ado  they  wheeled  their  bicycles 
down  the  street  to  a  confectioner's  shop,  propped 
them  up  carefully  against  the  curb,  and  entered  the 
shop  with  an  important  moneyed  air. 

At  the  end  of  his  fourth  jam  tart  the  Terror 
said :  "  Of  course  overseers  have  a  salary." 

"  Of  course  they  do,"  said  Erebus. 

"  That  settles  the  matter  of  pocket-money,"  said 


AND  THE  CATS'  HOME  77 

the  Terror.     "  We'll  have  sixpence  a  week  each." 

"Only  sixpence?"  said  Erebus  in  a  tone  of  the 
liveliest  surprise. 

"  Well,  you  see,  there  are  the  bicycles.  I  don't 
think  we  can  make  it  more  than  sixpence.  And  I 
tell  you  what :  we  shall  have  to  keep  accounts.  I'll 
buy  'an  account-book.  You're  very  good  at  arith- 
metic —  you'll  like  keeping  accounts,"  said  the  Ter- 
ror suavely. 

Since  her  mouth  was  full  of  luscious  jam  tart, 
Erebus  did  not  feel  that  it  would  be  delicate  at  that 
moment  to  protest.  Therefore  on  leaving  the  shop 
the  Terror  bought  an  account-book.  His  distrust 
of  literature  prevented  him  from  paying  more  than 
a  penny  for  it.  From  the  stationer's  he  went  to  an 
ironmonger's  and  bought  a  saw,  a  brace,  a  gimlet, 
a  screw-driver  and  two  gross  of  screws  —  his  tool- 
box had  long  needed  refilling.  Then  they  mounted 
their  machines  proudly  (they  had  learned  to  ride  on 
the  machines  of  acquaintances)  and  rode  home. 
After  their  visit  to  the  confectioner's  they  rode 
rather  sluggishly. 

They  were  not  hungry,  far  from  it,  at  the  mo- 
ment; but  half-way  home  the  Terror  turned  out  of 


78  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

the  main  road  into  the  lanes,  and  they  paused  at  a 
quiet  orchard,  in  a  lovely  unguarded  spot,  and  filled 
the  cat-basket  on  Erebus'  bicycle  with  excellent 
apples.  The  tools  had  been  packed  into  the  Ter- 
ror's basket.  They  did  not  disturb  the  farmer's 
wife  at  the  busy  dinner-hour;  the  Terror  threw  the 
apples  over  the  orchard  hedge  to  Erebus. 

As  he  remembered  his  bicycle  he  said  dreamily: 
"  I  shouldn't  wonder  if  these  bicycles  didn't  pay  for 
themselves  in  time." 

"  I  said  there  were  orchards  out  here  where  they 
didn't  know  us/'  said  Erebus,  biting  into  a  Ribston 
pippin. 

They  reached  home  in  time  for  lunch  and  locked 
away  their  bicycles  in  the  cow-house.  At  lunch 
they  were  reticent  about  their  triumphs  of  the  morn- 
ing. 

After  lunch  they  went  to  the  cow-house  and  took 
measurements.  It  had  long  been  unoccupied  by 
cows  and  needed  little  cleaning.  It  was  quite  suit- 
able to  their  purpose,  a  brick  building  with  a  slate 
roof  and  of  a  size  to  hold  two  cows.  The  measure- 
ments made,  they  went,  with  an  important  moneyed 
air?  down  to  the  village  carpenter,  the  only  timber 


AND  THE  CATS'  HOME  79 

merchant  in  the  neighborhood,  and  bought  planks 
from  him.  There  was  some  discussion  before  his 
idea  about  the  price  of  planks  and  that  of  the  Ter- 
ror were  in  exact  accord ;  and  as  he  took  the  money 
he  said,  with  some  ruefulness,  that  he  was  a  be- 
liever in  small  profits  and  quick  returns.  Since  im- 
mediate delivery  was  part  of  the  bargain,  he  forth- 
with put  the  planks  on  a  hand-cart  and  wheeled 
them  up  to  Colet  House.  The  Twins,  eager  to  be 
at  work,  helped  him. 

For  the  rest  of  the  day  the  Terror  applied  his 
indisputable  constructive  genius  to  the  creation  of 
cat-hutches.  That  evening  Erebus  wrote  his  warm 
letter  of  thanks  to  Lady  Ryehampton. 

The  next  morning,  with  a  womanly  disregard  of 
obligation,  Erebus  proposed  that  they  should  forth- 
with mount  their  bicycles  and  sally  forth  on  a  splen- 
did foray.  The  Terror  would  not  hear  of  it. 

"  No,"  he  said  firmly.  "  We're  going  to  get  the 
cats'  home  finished  before  we  use  those  bicycles  at 
all.  Then  nobody  can  complain." 

He  lost  no  time  setting  to  work  on  it,  and  worked 
till  it  was  time  to  go  down  to  the  vicarage  for  his 
morning's  lessons  with  the  vicar.  He  set  to  work 


8o  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

again  as  soon  as  he  returned ;  he  worked  all  the  after- 
noon ;  and  he  saw  to  it  that  Erebus  worked,  too. 

In  the  middle  of  the  afternoon  Wiggins  came. 
He  had  spent  a  fruitless  hour  lying  in  wait  on  the 
common  to  scalp  the  Twins  as  they  sallied  forth  into 
the  world,  and  then  had  come  to  see  what  had  kept 
them  within  their  borders.  He  was  deeply  im- 
pressed by  the  sight  of  the  bicycles,  but  not  greatly 
surprised:  his  estimation  of  the  powers  of  his 
friends  was  too  high  for  any  of  their  exploits  to 
surprise  him  greatly.  But  he  was  somewhat  ag- 
grieved that  they  should  have  obtained  their  bicycles 
before  he  had  obtained  his.  None  the  less  he  helped 
them  construct  the  cats'  home  with  enthusiasm. 

For  three  strenuous  days  they  persisted  in  their 
untiring  effort.  So  much  sustained  carpentering 
was  hard  on  their  hands;  many  small  pieces  were 
chipped  out  of  them.  But  their  spirits  never 
flagged;  and  by  sunset  on  the  third  day  they  had 
constructed  accommodation  for  thirty  cats.  It  may 
be  that  the  wooden  bars  of  the  hutches  were  not  all 
of  the  same  breadth,  but  at  any  rate  they  were  all 
of  the  same  thickness:  and  it  would  be  a  slim  cat, 
indeed,  that  would  squirm  through  them. 


AND  THE  CATS'  HOME  81 

At  sunset  on  the  third  day  the  exultant  trio  gazed 
round  the  transformed  cow-house  with  shining  tri- 
umphant eyes ;  then  Erebus  said  firmly :  "  What 
we  want  now  is  cats." 


CHAPTER  IV 

AND  THE  VISIT  OF  INSPECTION 

CATS  did  not  immediately  flow  in,  though  the 
Twins,  riding  round  the  countryside  on  their 
bicycles,  spread  the  information  that  they  were  will- 
ing to  afford  a  home  to  such  of  those  necessary  ani- 
mals as  their  owners  no  longer  needed.  They  had, 
indeed,  one  offer  of  a  cat  suffering  from  the  mange ; 
but  the  Terror  rejected  it,  saying  coldly  to  its 
owner  that  theirs  was  a  home,  not  a  hospital. 

The  impatient  Erebus  was  somewhat  vexed  with 
him  for  rejecting  it:  she  pointed  out  that  even  a 
mangy  cat  was  a  beginning. 

Slowly  they  grew  annoyed  that  the  home  on 
which  they  had  lavished  such  strenuous  labor  re- 
mained empty ;  and  at  last  the  Terror  said :  "  Look 
here :  I'm  going  to  begin  with  kittens." 

"  How  will  you  get  kittens,  if  you  can't  get  cats  ? 
Everybody  likes  kittens.  It's  only  when  they  grow 

82 


AND  THE  VISIT  OF  INSPECTION       83 

up  and  stop  playing  that  they  don't  want  them," 
said  Erebus  with  her  coldest  scorn. 

"  I'm  going-  to  buy  them,"  said  the  Terror 
firmly.  "  I'm  going  to  give  threepence  each  for 
kittens  that  can  just  lap.  We  don't  want  kittens 
that  can't  lap.  They'd  be  too  much  trouble." 

"  That's  a  good  idea,"  said  Erebus,  brightening. 

"  It'll  stop  them  drowning  kittens  all  right.  The 
only  thing  I'm  not  sure  about  is  the  accounts." 

"  You're  always  bothering  about  those  silly  old 
accounts !  "  said  Erebus  sharply. 

She  resented  having  had  to  enter  in  their  penny 
ledger  the  items  of  their  expenditure  with  conspicu- 
ous neatness  under  his  critical  eye. 

"  Well,  I  don't  think  the  kittens  ought  to  go  down 
in  the  accounts.  Aunt  Amelia  is  so  used  to  cats' 
homes  that  are  given  their  cats.  She's  told  me  all 
about  it:  how  people  write  and  ask  for  their  cats 
to  be  taken  in." 

"  /  don't  want  them  to  go  down.  It  makes  all  the 
less  accounts  to  keep,"  said  Erebus  readily. 

"Well,  that's  settled,"  said  the  Terror  cheer- 
fully. 

Once  more  the  Twins  rode  round  the  countryside, 


84  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

spreading  abroad  the  tidings  of  their  munificent  of- 
fer of  threepence  a  head  for  kittens  who  could  just 
lap. 

But  kittens  did  not  immediately  flow  in;  and  the 
complaints  of  the  impatient  Erebus  grew  louder  and 
louder.  There  was  no  doubt  that  she  loved  a 
grievance ;  and  even  more  she  loved  making  no  secret 
of  that  grievance  to  those  about  her.  Since  she 
could  only  discuss  this  grievance  with  the  Terror 
and  Wiggins,  they  heard  enough  about  it.  Indeed, 
her  complaints  were  at  last  no  small  factor  in  her 
patient  brother's  resolve  to  take  action;  and  he 
called  her  and  Wiggins  to  a  council. 

He  opened- the  discussion  by  saying:  "We've 
got  to  have  kittens,  or  cats.  We  can't  have  any 
pocket-money  for  '  overseering '  till  there's  some- 
thing to  overseer." 

"  And  that  splendid  cats'  home  we've  made  stop- 
ping empty  all  the  time,"  said  Erebus  in  her  most 
bitterly  aggrieved  tone. 

"I  don't  mind  that.  I'm  sick  of  hearing  about 
it,"  said  the  Terror  coldly.  "But  I  do  want 
pocket-money;  and  besides,  Aunt  Amelia  will  soon 
be  wanting  to  know  what's  happening  to  the  home; 


AND  THE  VISIT  OF  INSPECTION       85 

and  she'll  make  a  fuss  if  there  aren't  any  cats  in  it. 
So  we  must  have  cats." 

"  Well,  I  tell  you  what  it  is :  we  must  take  cats. 
There  are  cats  all  over  the  country ;  and  when  we're 
out  bicycling,  a  good  way  from  home,  we  could 
easily  pick  up  one  or  two  at  a  time  and  bring  them 
back  with  us.  We  ought  to  be  able  to  get  four  a 
day,  counting  kittens;  and  in  eight  days  the  home 
would  be  full  and  two  over." 

"  And  we  should  be  prosecuted  for  stealing 
them,"  said  the  Terror  coldly. 

"  But  they'd  be  ever  so  much  better  off  in  the 
home,  properly  looked  after  and  fed,"  protested 
Erebus. 

"  That  wouldn't  make  any  difference.  No ;  it's 
no  good  trying  to  get  them  that  way,"  said  the  Ter- 
ror in  a  tone  of  finality. 

"  Well,  they  won't  come  of  themselves,"  said 
Erebus. 

"  They  would  with  valerian,"  said  Wiggins. 

"  Who's  Valerian  ?  "  said  Erebus. 

"  It  isn't  a  who.  It's  a  drug  at  the  chemist's," 
said  Wiggins.  "  I've  been  talking  to  my  father 
about  cats  a  good  deal  lately,  and  he  says  if  you 


86  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

put  valerian  on  a  rag  and  drag  it  along  the  ground, 
cats  will  follow  it  for  miles." 

"  Your  father  seems  to  know  everything  —  such 
a  lot  of  useful  things  as  well  as  higher  mathemat- 
ics," said  the  Terror. 

"  That's  why  he  has  a  European  reputation,"  said 
Wiggins ;  and  he  spurned  the  earth. 

That  afternoon  the  Twins  bicycled  into  Rowing- 
ton  and  bought  a  bottle  of  the  enchanting  drug. 
Just  before  they  reached  the  village,  on  their  way 
home,  the  Terror  produced  a  rag  with  a  piece  of 
string  tied  to  it,  poured  some  valerian  on  it  and 
trailed  it  after  his  bicycle  through  the  village  to  his 
garden  gate. 

The  result  demonstrated  the  accuracy  of  the  scien- 
tific knowledge  of  the  father  of  Wiggins.  All 
that  evening  and  far  into  the  night  twelve  cats 
fought  clamorously  round  the  house  of  the  Dan- 
gerfields. 

The  next  day  the  Terror  turned  the  cats'  home 
into  a  cat-trap.  He  cut  a  hole  in  the  bottom  of  its 
door  large  enough,  to  admit  a  cat  and  fitted  it  with 
a  hanging  flap  which  a  cat  would  readily  push  open 
from  the  outside,  but  lacked  the  intelligence  to 


AND  THE  VISIT  OF  INSPECTION       87 

raise  from  the  inside.  He  was  late  finishing  it, 
and  went  from  it  to  his  dinner. 

They  had  just  come  to  the  end  of  the  simple  meal 
when  they  heard  a  ring  at  the  back  door;  and  old 
Sarah  came  in  to  say  that  Polly  Cotteril  had  come 
from  the  village  with  some  kittens.  The  Twins  ex- 
cused themselves  politely  to  their  mother,  and  hur- 
ried to  the  kitchen  to  find  that  Polly  had  brought 
no  less  than  five  small  kittens  in  a  basket. 

Forthwith  the  Terror  filled  a  saucer  with  milk 
and  applied  the  lapping  test.  Four  of  the  kittens 
lapped  the  milk  somewhat  feebly,  but  they  lapped. 
The  fifth  would  not  lap.  It  only  mewed.  There- 
fore the  Terror  took  only  four  of  the  kittens,  giv- 
ing Polly  a  shilling  for  them.  The  fifth  he  returned 
to  her,  bidding  her  bring  it  back  when  it  could  lap. 

They  took  the  four  kittens  down  to  the  cats' 
home ;  and  since  they  were  so  small,  they  put  them 
in  one  hutch  for  warmth,  wkh  a  saucer  of  milk  to 
satisfy  their  hunger  during  the  night. 

"  Now  we've  got  these  kittens,  we  needn't  bother 
about  getting  cats,"  said  the  Terror  as  they  re- 
turned to  the  house.  "And  I'm  glad  it  is  kittens 
and  not  cats.  Kittens  eat  less." 


88  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"  Then  you've  had  all  the  trouble  of  making  that 
little  door  for  nothing,"  said  Erebus. 

"  It's  an  emergency  exit  —  like  the  theaters  have 
—  only  it's  an  entrance,"  said  the  Terror.  "  But 
thank  goodness,  we've  begun  at  last;  now  we  can 
have  salaries  for  *  overseering '." 

During  the  course  of  the  next  week  they  added 
seven  more  small  kittens  to  their  stock ;  and  it  seemed 
good  to  the  Terror  to  inform  Lady  Ryehampton 
that  the  home  was  already  constructed  and  in 
process  of  occupation.  Accordingly  Erebus  wrote 
a  letter,  by  no  means  devoid  of  enthusiasm,  inform- 
ing her  that  it  already  held  eleven  inmates,  "  saved 
from  the  awful  death  of  drowning."  Lady  Rye- 
hampton replied  promptly  in  a  spirit  of  warm  grati- 
fication that  they  (had  been  so  quick  starting  it. 

But  with  eleven  inmates  in  the  home  the  Twins 
presently  found  themselves  grappling  earnestly  with 
the  food  problem  and  the  account-book. 

The  Terror  was  not  unfitted  for  financial  opera- 
tions. Till  they  were  six  years  old  the  Twins  had 
lived  luxuriously  at  Dangerfield  Hall,  in  Monmouth, 
with  toys  beyond  the  dreams  of  Alnaschar.  Then 
their  father  had  fallen  into  the  hands  of  a  firm  of 


AND  THE  VISIT  OF  INSPECTION       89 

gambling  stock-brokers,  had  along  with  them  lost 
nearly  all  his  money,  and  presently  died,  leaving 
Mrs.  Dangerfield  with  a  very  small  income  indeed. 
All  the  while  since  his  death  it  had  been  a  hard 
struggle  to  make  both  ends  meet ;  and  the  Twins  had 
had  many  a  lesson  in  learning  to  do  without  the  de- 
sires of  their  hearts. 

But  their  desires  were  strong;  the  wits  of  the 
Terror  were  not  weak ;  and  taking  one  month  with 
another  the  Twins  had  as  much  pocket-money  as 
the  bulk  of  the  children  of  the  well-to-do.  But  it 
did  not  come  in  the  way  of  a  regular  allowance;  it 
had  to  be  obtained  by  diplomacy  or  work;  and  the 
processes  of  getting  it  had  given  the  Terror  the 
liveliest  interest  in  financial  matters.  He  was  re- 
solved that  the  cats'  home  and  the  wages  of  "  over- 
seering  "  should  last  as  long  as  possible. 

But  it  soon  grew  clear  to  him  that,  with  milk 
at  threepence  halfpenny  a  quart,  the  kittens 
would  soon  drink  themselves  out  of  house  and 
home. 

He  discussed  the  matter  with  Erebus  and  Wig- 
gins; and  they  agreed  with  him  that  milk  spelled 
ruin.  But  they  could  see  no  way  of  reducing  the 


9o  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

price  of  milk;  and  they  were  sure  that  it  was  the 
necessary  food  for  growing  kittens. 

Their  faces  were  somewhat  gloomy  at  the  end  of 
the  discussion;  and  a  heavy  silence  had  fallen  on 
them.  Then  of  a  sudden  the  face  of  the  Terror 
brightened ;  and  he  said  with  a  touch  of  triumph  in 
his  tone :  "  I've  got  it ;  we'll  feed  them  on  skim- 
milk." 

"  They  feed  pigs  on  skim-milk,  not  kittens,"  said 
Erebus  scornfully. 

That  was  indeed  the  practise  at  Little  Deeping. 
Butter-making  was  its  chief  industry;  and  the  skim- 
milk  went  to  the  pigs. 

"If  it  fattens  pigs,  it  will  fatten  kittens,"  said 
the  Terror  firmly. 

"  But  how  can  we  get  it  ?  They  don't  sell  it  about 
here,"  said  Erebus.  "  And  you  know  what  they 
are:  if  Granfeytner  didn't  sell  skim-milk,  nobody's 
going  to  sell  skim-milk  to-day." 

"  Oh,  yes :  old  Stubbs  will  sell  it,"  said  the  Ter- 
ror confidently. 

"  Old  Stubbs !  But  he  hates  us  worse  than  any 
one !  "  cried  Erebus. 

"Oh,  yes;  he  doesn't  like  us.     But  he's  awfully 


AND  THE  VISIT  OF  INSPECTION       91 

keen  on  money;  every  one  says  so.  And  he  won't 
care  whose  money  he  gets  so  long  as  he  gets  it. 
Come  on;  we'll  go  and  talk  to  him  about  it,"  said 
the  Terror. 

The  Twins  went  firmly  across  the  common  to  the 
house  of  farmer  Stubbs  and  knocked  resolutely. 
The  maid,  who  was  well  aware  that  her  master  and 
the  Twins  were  not  on  friendly  terms,  admitted 
them  with  some  hesitation.  The  Twins  had  never 
entered  the  farmer's  house  before,  though  they  had 
often  entered  his  orchard;  and  they  felt  slightly 
uncomfortable.  They  found  the  parlor  into  which 
they  were  shown  uncommonly  musty. 

Presently  Mr.  Stubbs  came  to  them,  pulling  doubt- 
fully at  the  Newgate  fringe  that  ran  bristling  un- 
der his  chin,  with  a  look  of  deep  suspicion  in  his 
small,  ferrety,  red-rimmed  eyes.  Even  when  he 
learned  that  they  had  come  on  business,  his  face 
did  not  brighten  till  the  Terror  incidentally  dropped 
a  sovereign  on  the  floor  and  talked  of  cash  pay- 
ments. Then  his  face  shone;  he  made  the  admis- 
sion, cautiously,  that  he  might  be  induced  to  sell 
skim-milk;  and  then  they  came  to  the  discussion  of 
prices.  Mr.  Stubbs  wanted  to  see  skim-milk  in 


92  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

quarts;  the  Terror  could  only  see  it  in  pails;  and 
this  difference  of  point  of  view  nearly  brought  the 
negotiations  to  an  abrupt  end  twice.  But  the  Ter- 
ror's suavity  prevented  a  complete  break;  and  in 
the  end  they  struck  a  bargain  that  he  should  have 
as  much  skim-milk  as  he  required  at  threepence 
halfpenny  the  pailful. 

In  the  course  of  the  next  fortnight  they  admitted 
twelve  more  kittens  to  the  home;  and  the  Terror 
had  yet  another  idea.  Milk  alone  seemed  an  insuf- 
ficient diet  for  them;  and  he  approached  the  village 
baker  on  the  matter  of  stale  bread.  There  were 
more  negotiations ;  and  in  the  end  the  Terror  made 
a  contract  with  the  baker  for  a  supply  of  it  at 
nearly  his  own  price.  Now  he  fed  the  kittens  on 
bread  and  milk ;  they  throve  on  it ;  and  it  went  fur- 
ther than  plain  milk. 

The  Twins  enjoyed  but  little  leisure.  They  had 
been  busy  filling  certain  shelves,  which  they  had 
fixed  up  above  the  cat-hutches,  with  the  best  apples 
the  more  peaceful  and  sparsely  populated  parts  of 
the  countryside  afforded.  But  what  spare  time  he 
had  the  Terror  devoted  to  a  great  feat  of  painting. 
He  painted  in  white  letters  on  a  black  board :  — 


AND  THE  VISIT  OF  INSPECTION       93 

LADY  RYEHAMPTON'S  CATS'  HOME 

The  letters  varied  somewhat  in  size,  and  they 
were  not  everything  that  could  be  desired  in  the 
matter  of  shape;  but  both  Erebus  and  Wiggins 
agreed  that  it  was  extraordinarily  effective,  and 
that  if  ever  their  aunt  saw  it  she  would  be  deeply 
gratified. 

With  this  final  open  advertisement  of  their  en- 
terprise ready  to  be  fixed  up,  they  felt  that  the  time 
had  come  to  take  their  mother  formally  into  their 
confidence.  She  had  learned  of  the  formation  of 
the  cats'  home  from  old  Sarah;  and  several  of  her 
neighbors  had  talked  to  her  about  it,  and  seemed 
surprised  by  her  inability  to  give  them  details  about 
its  ultimate  scope  and  purpose,  for  it  had  excited 
the  interest  of  the  neighborhood  and  was  a  frequent 
matter  of  discussion  for  fully  a  week.  She  had  ex- 
plained to  them  that  she  never  interfered  with  the 
Twins  when  they  were  engaged  in  any  harmless  em- 
ployment, and  that  she  was  only  too  pleased  that 
they  had  found  a  harmless  employment  that  filled 
as  much  of  their  time  as  did  the  cats'  home. 
Moreover,  the  Terror  had  told  her  that  they  did 


94  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

not  wish  her  to  see  it  till  it  had  been  brought  to  its 
finished  state  and  was  in  thorough  working  order. 
Therefore  she  had  no  idea  of  its  size  or  of  the  cost 
of  its  construction.  Like  every  one  else  she  sup- 
posed it  to  be  a  ramshackle  affair  of  makeshifts 
constructed  from  old  planks  and  hen-coops. 

Moreover  she  had  not  learned  that  the  Twins 
possessed  bicycles,  for  they  were  judicious  in  their 
use.  They  were  careful  to  sally  forth  when  she 
was  taking  her  siesta  after  lunch;  they  went  across 
the  common  and  came  back  across  the  common  and 
their  neighbors  saw  them  riding  very  little. 

When  at  last  she  was  invited  to  come  to  see  their 
finished  work,  she  accepted  the  invitation  with  be- 
coming delight,  and  made  her  inspection  of  the 
home  with  a  becoming  seriousness  and  a  growing 
surprise.  She  expressed  her  admiration  of  its  con- 
venience, its  cleanliness,  and  the  extensive  scale  on 
which  it  was  being  run.  She  agreed  with  the  Ter- 
ror that  to  have  saved  so  many  kittens  from  the 
awful  death  of  drowning  was  a  great  work.  But 
she  asked  no  questions,  not  even  how  it  was  that  the 
cats'  home  was  fragrant  with  the  scent  of  hidden 
apples.  She  knew  that  an  explanation,  probably  of 


AND  THE  VISIT  OF  INSPECTION       95 

an  admirable  plausibility,  was  about  to  be  given 
her. 

Then  at  the  end  of  her  inspection,  the  Terror 
said  carelessly :  "  The  bicycles  are  for  bringing 
kittens  from  a  distance,  of  course." 

"  What  ?  Are  those  your  bicycles  ?  "  cried  Mrs. 
Dangerfield.  "  But  wherever  did  you  get  the  money 
from  to  buy  them  ?  " 

"  Aunt  Amelia  found  the  money,"  said  the  Ter- 
ror. "  You  know  she's  very  keen  —  tremendously 
interested  in  cats'  homes.  She  thinks  we  are  doing 
a  great  work,  as  well  as  you." 

Mrs.  Dangerfield's  beautiful  eyes  were  very  wide 
open ;  and  she  said  rather  breathlessly :  "  You  got 
money  out  of  your  Aunt  Amelia  for  a  cats'  home 
in  Little  Deeping?" 

"  Oh,  yes,"  said  the  Terror  carelessly. 

Mrs.  Dangerfield  turned  away  hastily  to  hide  her 
working  face:  she  must  not  laugh  at  their  great- 
aunt  before  the  Twins.  She  bit  her  tongue  with  a 
firmness  that  filled  her  eyes  with  tears.  It  was 
painful ;  but  it  enabled  her  to  complete  her  inspection 
with  the  required  gravity. 

The  Terror  fixed  up  the  board  above  the  door  of 


96  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

the  home ;  and  it  awoke  a  fresh  interest  among  their 
neighbors  in  their  enterprise.  Several  of  them, 
including  the  squire  and  the  vicar,  made  visits  of 
inspection  to  it;  and  Wiggins  brought  his  father. 
All  of  them  expressed  an  admiration  of  the  insti- 
tution and  of  the  methods  on  which  it  was  con- 
ducted. To  one  another  they  expressed  an  unfa- 
vorable opinion  of  the  intelligence  of  Lady  Rye- 
hampton. 

The  home  was  now  working  quite  smoothly; 
and  with  a  clear  conscience  the  Twins  drew  their 
salary  for  "  overseering."  It  provided  them  with 
many  of  the  less  expensive  desires  of  their  hearts. 
Now  and  again  Erebus,  mindful  of  the  fact  that 
they  had  still  a  little  more  than  ten  pounds  left  out 
of  the  orginial  thirty,  urged  that  it  should  be  raised 
to  a  shilling  a  week.  But  the  Terror  would  not  con- 
sent :  he  said  their  salaries  for  "  overseeing  "  would 
naturally  be  much  higher,  and  that  they  would  have 
charged  for  their  work  in  constructing  the  home, 
if  it  had  not  been  for  the  bicycles.  As  it  was,  they 
were  bound  to  work  off  the  price  of  the  bicycles. 
Besides,  he  added  with  a  philosophical  air,  six- 


AND  THE  VISIT  OF  INSPECTION       97 

pence  a  week  for  a  year  was  much  better  than  a 
shilling  a  week  for  six  months. 

Lady  Ryehampton  was  duly  informed  that  the 
home  now  contained  twenty-three  inmates ;  and  the 
children  of  Great  Deeping,  Muttle  (probably  a  cor- 
ruption of  Middle)  Deeping,  and  Little  Deeping 
were  informed  that  for  the  time  being  the  home 
was  full.  Erebus  clamored  to  have  its  full  com- 
plement of  thirty  kittens  made  up;  but  the  Ter- 
ror maintained  very  firmly  his  contention  that 
twenty-three  was  quite  enough.  Everything  was 
working  smoothly.  Then  one  evening  just  before 
dinner  there  came  a  loud  ringing  at  the  front-door 
bell. 

It  was  so  loud  and  so  importunate  that  with  one 
accord  the  Twins  dashed  for  the  door;  and  Erebus 
opened  it.  On  the  steps  stood  their  Uncle  Maurice ; 
and  he  wore  a  harried  air. 

"  Why,  it's  Uncle  Maurice !  "  cried  Erebus  spring- 
ing upon  him  and  embracing  him  warmly. 

"  It's  Uncle  Maurice,  mother!  "  cried  the  Terror. 

"  It  may  be  your  Uncle  Maurice,  but  I  can  tell 
you  he's  by  no  means  sure  of  it  himself!  Is  it  my 


98  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

head  or  my  heels  I'm  standing  on?"  said  Sir 
Maurice  faintly,  and  he  wiped  his  burning  brow. 

On  his  words  there  came  up  the  steps  the  porter 
of  Little  Deeping  station,  laden  with  wicker  baskets. 
From  the  baskets  came  the  sound  of  mewing. 

"  Whatever  is  it  ?  "  cried  Mrs.  Dangerfield,  kissing 
her  brother. 

"  Cats  for  the  cats'  home !  "  said  Sir  Maurice 
Falconer. 

He  waved  his  startled  kinsfolk  aside  while  the 
baskets  were  ranged  in  a  neat  row  on  the  floor  of 
the  hall,  then  he  paid  the  porter,  feebly,  and  shut 
the  door  after  him  with  an  air  of  exhaustion.  He 
leaned  back  against  it  and  said : 

"  I  had  a  sudden  message  —  Aunt  Amelia  is  go- 
ing to  pay  a  surprise  visit  to  this  inf  —  this  cats' 
home  these  little  friends  are  pretending  to  run  for 
her.  I  saw  that  there  was  no  time  to  lose  —  there 
must  be  a  cats'  home  with  cats  in  it  —  or  she'd  cut 
them  both  out  of  her  will.  I  bought  cats  —  all  over 
London  —  they've  been  with  me  ever  since  — yowl- 
ing — •  they  yowled  in  the  taxi  —  all  over  London  — 
they  traveled  down  as  far  as  Rowington  with  me 
and  an  old  gentleman  —  a  high-spirited  old  gentle- 


AND  THE  VISIT  OF  INSPECTION       99 

man  —  yowling  —  not  only  the  cats  but  the  old 
gentleman,  too  —  and  they  traveled  from  Rowing- 
ton  to  Little  Deeping  with  me  and  two  maiden  la- 
dies —  timid  maiden  ladies !  —  yowling !  But  come 
on:  we've  got  to  make  a  cats'  home  at  once!" 
And  he  picked  up  one  of  the  plaintive  baskets  with 
the  air  of  a  man  desperately  resolved  to  act  on  the 
instant  or  perish. 

"  But  we've  got  a  cats'  home  —  only  it's  full  of 
kittens,"  said  Erebus  gently. 

"  Good  heavens !  Do  you  mean  to  say  I've 
gone  through  this  nightmare  for  nothing?"  cried 
Sir  Maurice,  dropping  the  basket. 

"  Oh,  no;  it  was  awfully  good  of  you!  "  said  the 
Terror  with  swift  politeness.  "  The  cats  will  come 
in  awfully  useful." 

'  They'll  make  the  home  look  so  much  mo-re 
natural.  All  kittens  isn't  natural,"  said  Erebus. 

"  And  they'll  be  such  a  pleasant  surprise  for  Aunt 
Amelia.  She  was  only  expecting  kittens,"  said  the 
Terror. 

"  What?  "  howled  Sir  Maurice.  "  Do  you  mean 
to  say  I've  parleyed  for  hours  with  a  high-spirited 
gentleman  and  two  —  two  —  timid  maiden  ladies 


ioo  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

just  to  give  your  Aunt  Amelia  a  pleasant  surprise  ?  " 

He  sank  into  a  chair  and  wiped  his  beaded  brow 
feebly.  "  I  ought  to  have  had  more  confidence  in 
you,"  he  said  faintly.  "  I  ought  to  know  your 
powers  by  now.  And  I  did.  I  know  well  that  any 
people  who  have  dealings  with  you  are  likely  to  get 
a  surprise;  but  I  thought  your  Aunt  Amelia  was 
going  to  get  it;  and  I've  got  it  myself." 

"  But  you  didn't  think  that  we  would  humbug 
Aunt  Amelia?"  said  the  Terror  in  a  pained  tone 
and  with  the  most  virtuous  air. 

"  Gracious,  no !  "  cried  Sir  Maurice.  "  I  only 
thought  that  you  might  possibly  induce  her  to  hum- 
bug herself." 

The  Twins  looked  at  him  doubtfully :  there  seemed 
to  them  more  in  his  words  than  met  the  ear. 

"  You  must  be  wanting  your  dinner  dreadfully," 
said  Mrs.  Dangerfield.  "  And  I'm  afraid  there's 
very  little  for  you.  But  I'll  make  you  an  ome- 
lette." 

"  I  can  not  dine  amid  this  yowling,"  said  Sir 
Maurice  firmly,  waving  his  hand  over  the  vocal  bas- 
kets. "  These  animals  must  be  placed  out  of  hear- 
ing, or  I  shan't  be  able  to  eat  a  morsel," 


AND  THE  VISIT  OF  INSPECTION      101 

"  We'll  put  them  in  the  cats'  home,"  said  the 
Terror  quickly.  "  I'll  just  put  on  a  pair  of  thick 
gloves.  Wiggins'  father  —  he's  a  higher  mathe- 
matician, you  know,  and  understands  all  this  kind 
of  thing — says  that  hydrophobia  is  very  rare 
among  cats.  But  it's  just  as  well  to  be  careful  with 
these  London  ones." 

"  Oh,  lord,  I  never  thought  of  that,"  said  Sir 
Maurice  with  a  shudder.  "  I've  been  risking  my 
life  as  well!" 

The  Terror  put  on  the  gloves  and  lighted  a  lan- 
tern. He  and  Erebus  helped  carry  the  cats  down 
to  the  home;  and  he  put  them  into  hutches.  Their 
uncle  was  much  impressed  by  the  arrangement  of 
the  home. 

The  cats  disposed  of,  Sir  Maurice  at  last  re- 
covered his  wonted  self-possession  —  a  self-posses- 
sion as  admirable  as  the  serenity  of  the  Terror,  but 
not  so  durable.  At  dinner  he  reduced  his  appre- 
ciative kinsfolk  to  the  last  exhaustion  by  his  enter- 
taining account  of  his  parleying  with  his  excited 
fellow  travelers.  He  could  now  view  it  with  an 
impartial  mind.  After  dinner  he  accompanied  the 
Terror  to  the  cats'  home  and  helped  him  feed  the 


102  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

newcomers  with  scraps.  The  rest  of  the  evening 
passed  peacefully  and  pleasantly. 

If  the  Twins  had  a  weakness,  it  was  that  their 
desire  for  thoroughness  sometimes  caused  them  to 
overdo  things ;  and  it  was  on  the  way  to  bed  that  the 
brilliant  idea  flashed  into  the  mind  of  Erebus. 

She  stopped  short  on  the  stairs,  and  with  an  air 
of  inspiration  said :  "  We  ought  to  have  more 
cats." 

The  Terror  stopped  short  too,  pondering  the 
suggestion ;  then  he  said :  "  By  Jove,  yes.  This 
would  be  a  good  time  to  work  that  valerian  dodge. 
And  it  would  mean  that  we  should  have  to  use  our 
bicycles  again  for  the  good  of  the  home.  The  more 
we  can  say  that  we've  used  them  for  it,  the  less  any 
one  can  grumble  about  them." 

"  Most  cats  are  shut  up  now,"  said  Erebus. 

"  Yes ;  we  must  catch  the  morning  cats.  They 
get  out  quite  early  —  when  people  start  out  to 
work,"  said  the  Terror. 

Among  the  possessions  of  the  Twins  was  an 
American  clock  fitted  with  an  alarm.  The  Terror 
set  it  for  half  past  five.  At  that  hour  it  awoke  him 
with  extreme  difficulty.  He  awoke  Erebus  with 


AND  THE  VISIT  OF  INSPECTION      103 

extreme  difficulty.  Five  minutes  later  they  were 
munching  bread  and  butter  in  the  kitchen  to  stay 
themselves  against  the  cold  of  the  bitter  November 
morning;  then  they  sallied  forth,  equipped  with 
rags,  string  and  the  bottle  of  valerian. 

They  bicycled  to  Muttle  Deeping.  There  the  Ter- 
ror poured  valerian  on  one  of  the  rags  and  tied  it 
to  the  bicycle  of  Erebus.  Forthwith  she  started  to 
trail  it  to  the  cats'  home.  He  rode  on  to  Great 
Deeping  and  trailed  a  rag  from  there  through  Little 
Deeping  to  the  cats'  home.  When  he  reached  it 
he  found  Erebus'  bicycle  in  its  corner;  and  when, 
after  strengthening  the  trail  through  the  little  hang- 
ing door  with  a  rag  freshly  wetted  with  the  drug, 
he  returned  to  the  house,  he  found  that  she  was  al- 
ready in  bed  again.  He  made  haste  back  to  bed 
himself. 

It  had  been  their  intention  to  go  down  to  the 
home  before  breakfast  and  put  the  cats  they  had 
attracted  to  it  into  hutches.  But  they  slept  on  till 
breakfast  was  ready;  and  the  fragrance  of  the  cof- 
fee and  bacon  lured  them  straight  into  the  dining- 
room.  After  all,  as  Erebus  told  the  hesitating  Ter- 
ror, there  was  plenty  of  time  to  deal  with  the  new 


io4  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

cats,  for  Aunt  Amelia  could  not  reach  Little  Deep- 
ing before  eleven  o'clock.  They  could  not  escape 
from  the  home.  The  Twins  therefore  devoted  their 
most  careful  attention  to  their  breakfast  with  their 
minds  quite  at  ease. 

Then  there  came  a  ring  at  the  front  door;  and 
still  their  minds  were  at  ease,  for  they  took  it  that 
it  was  a  note  or  a  message  from  a  neighbor.  Then 
Sarah  threw  open  the  dining-room  door,  said 
"  Please,  ma'am,  it's  Lady  Ryehampton  " ;  and  their 
Aunt  Amelia  stood,  large,  round  and  formidable, 
on  the  threshold.  Behind  her  stood  Miss  Hender- 
syde  looking  very  anxious. 

There  was  a  heavy  frown  on  Lady  Ryehampton's 
stern  face ;  and  when  they  rose  to  welcome  her,  she 
greeted  them  with  severe  stiffness.  To  Erebus,  the 
instructor  of  parrots,  she  gave  only  one  finger. 

Then  in  deep  portentous  tones  she  said :  "  I 
came  down  to  pay  a  surprise  visit  to  your  cats' 
home.  I  always  do.  It's  the  only  way  I  can  make 
sure  that  the  poor  dear  things  are  receiving  proper 
treatment."  The  frown  on  her  face  grew  rhada- 
manthine.  "  And  last  night  I  saw  your  Uncle 
Maurice  at  the  station  —  he  did  not  see  me  —  with 


AND  THE  VISIT  OF  INSPECTION      105 

cats,  London  cats,  in  baskets.  On  the  labels  of  two 
of  the  baskets  I  read  the  names  of  well-known  Lon- 
don cat-dealers.  I  do  not  support  a  cats'  home  at 
Little  Deeping  for  London  cats  bought  at  London 
dealers.  Why  have  they  been  brought  here  ?  " 

Sir  Maurice  opened  his  mouth  to  explain;  but 
the  Terror  was  before  him: 

"  It  was  Uncle  Maurice's  idea,"  he  said.  "  He 
didn't  think  that  there  ought  only  to  be  kittens  in  a 
cats'  home.  We  didn't  mind  ourselves;  and  of 
course,  if  he  puts  cats  in  it,  he'll  have  to  subscribe 
to  the  home.  What  we  have  started  it  for  was 
kittens  —  to  save  them  from  the  awful  death  of 
drowning.  We  wrote  and  told  you.  And  we've 
saved  quite  a  lot." 

His  limpid  blue  eyes  were  wells  of  candor. 

Lady  Ryehampton  uttered  a  short  snort ;  and  her 
eyes  flashed. 

"  Do  you  mean  to  tell  me  that  your  Uncle  Mau- 
rice is  fond  enough  of  cats  to  bring  them  all  the 
way  from  London  to  a  cats'  home  at  Deeping? 
He  hates  cats,  and  always  has !  "  she  said  fiercely. 

"  Of  course,  I  hate  cats,"  said  Sir  Maurice  with 
cold  severity.  "  But  I  hate  children's  being  brought 


io6  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

up  to  be  careless  a  great  deal  more.  A  cats'  home 
is  not  a  cats'  home  unless  it  has  cats  in  it;  and 
you've  been  encouraging  these  children  to  grow  up 
careless  by  calling  a  kittens'  home  a  cats'  home. 
If  you  will  interfere  in  their  up-bringing,  you  have 
no  right  to  do  your  best  to  get  them  into  careless 
ways." 

Taken  aback  at  suddenly  finding  herself  on  the 
defensive  Lady  Ryehampton  blinked  at  him  some- 
what owlishly :  "  That's  all  very  well,"  she  said  in 
a  less  severe  tone.  "  But  is  there  a  kittens'  home 
at  all  —  a  kittens'  home  with  kittens  in  it  ?  That's 
what  I  want  to  know." 

"  But  we  wrote  and  told  you  how  many  kittens 
we  had  in  the  cats'  home.  You  don't  think  we'd 
deceive  you,  Aunt  Amelia  ? "  said  the  Terror  in 
a  deeply  injured  tone  and  with  a  deeply  injured 
air. 

"  There !  I  told  you  that  if  he  said  he  had  kit- 
tens in  it,  there  would  be,"  said  Miss  Hendersyde 
with  an  air  of  relief. 

"  Of  course  there's  a  cats'  home  with  kittens  in 
it !  "  said  Mrs.  Dangerfield  with  some  heat.  "  The 
Terror  wouldn't  lie  to  you ! " 


AND  THE  VISIT  OF  INSPECTION     107 

"  Hyacinth  is  incapable  of  deceit ! "  cried  Sir 
Maurice  splendidly. 

The  Terror  did  his  best  to  look  incapable  of  de- 
ceit ;  and  it  was  a  very  good  best. 

In  some  confusion  Lady  Ryehampton  began  to 
stammer:  "Well,  of  c-c-c-course,  if  there's  a 
c-c-cats'  home- — but  Sir  Maurice's  senseless  in- 
terference — " 

"Senseless  interference!  Do  you  call  saving 
children  from  careless  habits  senseless  interfer- 
ence ?  "  cried  Sir  Maurice  indignantly. 

"You  had  no  business  to  interfere  without  con- 
sulting me,"  said  Lady  Ryehampton.  Then,  with  a 
return  of  suspicion,  she  said :  "  But  I  want  to  see 
this  cats'  home  —  now !  " 

"  I'll  take  you  at  once,"  said  the  Terror  quickly, 
and  politely  he  opened  the  door. 

They  all  went,  Mrs.  Dangerfield  snatching  a 
hooded  cloak,  Sir  Maurice  his  hat  and  coat  from 
pegs  in  the  hall  as  they  went  through  it.  When 
they  came  into  the  paddock  their  ears  became  aware 
of  a  distant  high-pitched  din;  and  the  farther  they 
went  down  it  the  louder  and  more  horrible  grew 
the  din. 


io8  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

Over  the  broad  round  face  of  Lady  Ryehamp- 
ton  spread  an  expression  of  suspicious  bewilder- 
ment; Mrs.  Dangerfield's  beautiful  eyes  were  wide 
open  in  an  anxious  wonder;  the  piquant  face  of 
Erebus  was  set  in  a  defiant  scowl;  and  Sir  Mau- 
rice looked  almost  as  anxious  as  Mrs.  Dangerfield. 
Only  the  Terror  was  serene. 

"  Surely  those  brutes  I  brought  haven't  got  out 
of  their  cages,"  said  Sir  Maurice. 

"Oh,  no;  those  must  be  visiting  cats,"  said  the 
Terror  calmly. 

"Visiting  cats?  "  said  Lady  Ryehampton  and  Sir 
Maurice  together. 

"  Yes :  we  encourage  the  cats  about  here  to  come 
to  the  home  so  that  if  ever  they  are  left  homeless 
they  will  know  where  to  come,"  said  the  Terror, 
looking  at  Lady  Ryehampton  with  eyes  that  were 
limpid  wells  of  guilelessness. 

"  Now  that's  a  very  clever  idea !  "  she  exclaimed. 
"  I  must  tell  the  managers  of  my  other  homes  about 
it  and  see  whether  they  can't  do  it,  too.  But  what 
are  these  cats  doing?  " 

"  It  sounds  as  if  they  were  quarreling,"  said  the 
Terror  calmly. 


AND  THE  VISIT  OF  INSPECTION      109 

It  did  sound  as  if  they  were  quarreling;  at  the 
door  of  the  home  the  din  was  ear-splitting,  excru- 
ciating, fiendish.  It  was  as  if  the  voices  of  all  the 
cats  in  the  county  were  raised  in  one  piercing  bat- 
tle-song. 

The,  Terror  bade  his  kinsfolk  stand  clear;  then  he 
threw  open  the  door  —  wide.  Cats  did  not  come 
out.  ...  A  large  ball  of  cats  came  out,  gyrating 
swiftly  in  a  haze  of  flying  fur.  Ten  yards  from 
the  door  it  dissolved  into  its  component  parts,  and 
some  thirty  cats  tore,  yelling,  to  the  four  quarters  of 
the  heavens. 

After  that  stupendous  battle-song  the  air  seemed 
thick  with  silence. 

The  Terror  broke  it;  he  said  in  a  tone  of  doubt- 
ing sadness :  "  I  sometimes  think  it  sets  a  bad 
example  to  the  kittens." 

Sir  Maurice  turned  livid  in  the  grip  of  some 
powerful  emotion.  He  walked  hurriedly  round  to 
the  back  of  the  home  to  conceal  it  from  human 
ken.  There  with  his  handkerchief  stuffed  into  his 
mouth,  he  leaned  against  the  wall,  and  shook  and 
rocked  and  kicked  the  irresponsive  bricks  feebly. 

But  the  serene  Terror  firmly  ushered  Lady  Rye- 


i  io  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

Hampton  into  the  home  with  an  air  of  modest  pride. 
A  little  dazed,  she  entered  upon  a  scene  of  perfect, 
if  highly-scented,  peace.  Twenty-three  kittens  and 
eight  cats  sat  staring  earnestly  through  bars  of  their 
hutches  in  a  dead  stillness.  Their  eyes  were  very 
bright.  By  a  kindly  provision  of  nature  they  had 
been  able,  in  the  darkness,  to  follow  the  fortunes 
of  that  vociferous  fray. 

In  three  minutes  Lady  Ryehampton  had  forgot- 
ten the  battle-song.  She  was  charmed,  lost  in  ad- 
miration of  the  home,  of  the  fatness  and  healthi- 
ness of  the  blinking  kittens,  the  neatness  and  the 
cleanliness.  She  gushed  enthusiastic  approbation. 
"  To  think,"  she  cried,  "  that  you  have  done  this 
yourself !  A  boy  of  thirteen !  " 

"  Erebus  did  quite  as  much  as  I  did,"  said  the 
Terror  quickly. 

"  And  Wiggins  helped  a  lot.  He's  a  friend  of 
ours,"  said  Erebus  no  less  quickly. 

Lady  Ryehampton's  face  softened  to  Erebus  —  to 
Erebus,  the  instructor  of  parrots. 

Sir  Maurice  joined  them.  His  eyes  were  red  and 
moist,  as  if  they  had  but  now  been  full  of  tears. 


AND  THE  VISIT  OF  INSPECTION      in 

"  It's  a  very  creditable  piece  of  work,"  he  said  in 
a  tone  of  warm  approval. 

Lady  Ryehampton  looked  round  the  home  once 
more ;  and  her  face  fell.  She  said  uneasily :  "  But 
you  must  be  heavily  in  debt." 

"In  debt?"  said  the  Terror.  "Oh,  no;  we 
couldn't  be.  Mother  would  hate  us  to  be  in  debt." 

"  I  thought  —  a  cats'  home  —  oh,  but  I  am  glad 
I  brought  my  check-book  with  me ! "  cried  Lady 
Ryehampton. 

She  could  not  understand  why  Sir  Maurice  ut- 
tered a  short  sharp  howl.  She  did  not  know  that 
the  Terror  dug  him  sharply  in  the  ribs  as  Erebus 
kicked  him  joyfully  on  the  ankle-bone;  that  they 
had  simultaneously  realized  that  the  future  of  the 
home,  the  wages  of  "  overseering,"  were  secure. 


L 


CHAPTER  V 

AND   THE   SACRED    BIRD 

ADY  RYEHAMPTON  did  not  easily  tear 
herself  away  from  the  home;  and  the  Ter- 
ror did  all  he  could  to  foster  her  interest  in  it.  The 
crowning  effect  was  the  feeding  of  the  kittens, 
which  was  indeed  a  very  pretty  sight,  since  twenty- 
three  kittens  could  not  feed  together  without  many 
pauses  to  gambol  and  play.  The  only  thing  about 
the  home  which  was  not  quite  to  the  liking  of  Lady 
Ryehampton  was  the  board  over  the  door.  She 
liked  it  as  an  advertisement  of  her  philanthropy;  but 
she  did  not  like  its  form;  she  preferred  her  name 
in  straighter  letters,  all  of  them  of  the  same  size. 
At  the  same  time  she  did  not  like  to  hurt  the  feel- 
ings of  the  Terror  by  showing  lack  of  apprecia- 
tion of  his  handiwork. 

Then  she  had  a  happy  thought,  and  said :  "  By 
the  way,  I  think  that  the  board  over  the  door  ought 
to  be  uniform  —  the  same  as  the  boards  over  the  en- 

112 


AND  THE  SACRED  BIRD  113 

trances  of  my  other  cats'  homes.  The  lettering 
of  them  is  always  in  gold." 

"  All  right  I'll  get  some  gold  paint,  and  paint 
them  over,"  said  the  Terror  readily,  anxious  to  hu- 
mor in  every  way  this  dispenser  of  salaries. 

"  No,  no,  I  can't  give  you  the  trouble  of  doing  it 
all  over  again,"  said  Lady  Ryehampton  quickly. 
"  I'll  have  a  board  made,  and  painted  in  London  — 
exactly  like  the  board  of  my  cats'  home  at  Tysle- 
worth  —  and  sent  down  to  you  to  fix  up." 

"  Thanks  very  much,"  said  the  Terror.  "  It  will 
save  me  a  great  deal  of  trouble.  Painting  isn't 
nearly  so  easy  as  it  looks." 

Lady  Ryehampton  breathed  a  sigh  of  satisfac- 
tion. She  invited  them  all  to  lunch  at  The  Plough, 
where  she  had  stayed  the  night ;  and  Mrs.  Pittaway 
racked  her  brains  and  strained  all  the  resources  of 
her  simple  establishment  to  make  the  lunch  worthy 
of  its  giver.  As  she  told  her  neighbors  later,  no- 
body knew  what  it  was  to  have  a  lady  of  title  in  the 
house.  The  Twins  enjoyed  the  lunch  very  much 
indeed;  and  even  Erebus  was  very  quiet  for  two 
hours  after  it. 

Lady  Ryehampton  came  to  tea  at  Colet  House; 


ii4  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

she  paid  a  last  gloating  visit  to  the  cats'  home, 
wrote  a  check  for  ten  pounds  payable  to  the  Terror, 
and  in  a  state  of  the  liveliest  satisfaction,  took  the 
train  to  London. 

Sir  Maurice  stayed  till  a  later  train,  for  he  had 
no  great  desire  to  travel  with  Lady  Ryehampton. 
Besides,  the  question  what  was  to  be  done  with  the 
eight  cats  he  had  brought  with  him,  remained  to 
be  settled.  He  felt  that  he  could  not  saddle  the 
Twins  with  their  care  and  up-keep,  since  only  his 
unfounded  distrust  had  brought  them  to  the  cats' 
home.  At  the  same  time  he  could  not  bring  him- 
self to  travel  with  them  any  more. 

They  discussed  the  matter.  Erebus  was  inclined 
to  keep  the  cats,  declaring  that  it  would  be  so  nice 
to  grow  their  own  kittens.  The  Terror,  looking  at 
the  question  from  the  cold  monetary  point  of  view, 
wished  to  be  relieved  of  them.  In  the  end  it  was 
decided  that  Sir  Maurice  should  make  terms  with 
one  of  the  dealers  from  whom  he  had  bought  them, 
and  that  the  Twins  should  forward  them  to  that 
dealer. 

The  next  day  the  Twins  discussed  what  should  be 
done  with  this  unexpected  ten  pounds  which  Lady 


AND  THE  SACRED  BIRD  115 

Ryehampton  had  bestowed  on  the  home.  Erebus 
was  for  at  once  increasing  their  salaries  to  three 
shillings  a  week.  The  cautious  Terror  would  only 
raise  them  to  ninepence  each.  Then,  keeping  rather 
more  than  four  pounds  for  current  expenses,  he  put 
fifteen- pounds  in  the  Post-Office  Savings  Bank.  He 
thought  it  a  wise  thing  to  do :  it  prevented  any  chance 
of  their  spending  a  large  sum  on  some  sudden  over- 
whelming impulse. 

Then  for  some  time  their  lives  moved  in  a  smooth 
uneventful  groove.  The  cats  were  despatched  to 
the  London  dealer;  the  neatly  painted  board  came 
from  Lady  Ryehampton  and  was  fixed  up  in  the 
place  of  the  Terror's  handiwork;  they  did  their 
lessons  in  the  morning;  they  rode  out,  along  with 
Wiggins  who  now  had  his  bicycle,  in  the  afternoons. 

Then  came  December;  and  early  in  the  month 
they  began  to  consider  the  important  matter  of  their 
mother's  Christmas  present. 

One  morning  they  were  down  at  the  home,  giv- 
ing the  kittens  their  breakfasts  and  discussing  it 
gravely.  The  kittens  were  indulging  in  engaging 
gambols  before  falling  into  the  sleep  of  repletion 
which  always  followed  their  meals;  but  the  Twins 


u6  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

saw  them  with  unsmiling  eyes,  for  the  graver  mat- 
ter wholly  filled  their  minds.  They  could  see  their 
way  to  saving  up  seven  or  eight  shillings  for  that 
present ;  and  so  large  a  sum  must  be  expended  with 
judgment.  It  must  procure  something  not  only  use- 
ful but  also  attractive. 

They  had  discussed  at  some  length  the  respective 
advantages  and  attractions  of  a  hair-brush  and  a 
tortoise-shell  comb  to  set  in  the  hair,  when  Erebus, 
frowning  thoughtfully,  said :  "  I  know  what  she 
really  wants  though." 

"  What's  that?  "  said  the  Terror  sharply. 

"  It's  one  of  those  fur  stoles  in  the  window  of 
Barker's  at  Rowington,"  said  Erebus.  "  I  heard 
her  sigh  when  she  looked  at  it.  She  used  to  have 
beautiful  furs  once  —  when  father  was  alive.  But 
she  sold  them  —  to  get  things  for  us,  I  suppose. 
Uncle  Maurice  told  me  so  —  at  least  I  got  it  out  of 
him." 

The  Terror  was  frowning  thoughtfully,  too ;  and 
he  said  in  a  tone  of  decision :  "  How  much  is  that 
stole?" 

"  Oh,  it's  no  good  thinking  about  it  —  it's  three 
guineas,"  said  Erebus  quickly. 


AND  THE  SACRED  BIRD  117 

"  That's  a  mort  o'  money,  as  old  Stubbs  says," 
said  the  Terror;  and  the  frown  deepened  on  his 
brow. 

"  I  wonder  if  we  could  get  it?  "  said  Erebus,  and 
a  faint  hopefulness  dawned  in  her  eyes  as  she  looked 
at  his  pondering  face.  "  I  should  like  to.  It  must 
be  hard  on  Mum  not  to  have  nice  things  —  much 
harder  than  for  us,  because  we've  never  had  them  — 
at  least,  we  had  them  when  we  were  small,  but  we 
never  got  used  to  them.  So  we've  forgotten." 

"  No,  we're  all  right  as  long  as  we  have  useful 
things,"  said  the  Terror,  without  relaxing  his 
thoughtful  frown.  "  But  you're  right  about  Mum 
—  she  must  be  different.  I've  got  to  think  this 
out" 

"  Three  guineas  is  such  a  lot  to  think  out,"  said 
Erebus  despondently. 

"  I  thought  out  thirty  pounds  not  so  very  long 
ago,"  said  the  Terror  firmly.  "  And  if  you  come 
to  think  of  it,  Mum's  stole  is  really  more  important 
than  bicycles  and  a  cats'  home,  though  not  so  use- 
ful." 

"  But  it's  different  —  we  had  to  have  bicycles  — 
you  said  so,"  said  Erebus  eagerly. 


n8  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"  Well,  we've  got  to  have  this  stole,"  said  the 
Terror  in  a  tone  of  finality ;  and  the  matter  settled, 
his  brow  smoothed  to  its  wonted  serenity. 

"  But  how  ?  "  said  Erebus  eagerly. 

"  Things  will  occur  to  us.  They  always  do," 
said  the  Terror  with  a  careless  confidence. 

They  began  to  put  the  kittens  into  their  hutches. 
Half-way  through  the  operation  the  Terror  paused : 

"  I  wonder  if  we  could  sell  any  of  these  kittens? 
Does  any  one  ever  buy  kittens  ?  " 

"  We  did ;  we  gave  threepence  each  for  these," 
said  Erebus. 

"  Ah,  but  we  had  to  buy  something  in  the  way  of 
cats  for  the  home.  We  should  never  have  bought 
a  kitten  but  for  that.  We  shouldn't  have  dreamt 
of  doing  such  a  thing." 

"  I  should  buy  kittens  if  I  were  rich  and  hadn't 
got  any,"  said  Erebus  in  a  tone  of  decision. 

"You  would,  would  you?  That's  just  what  I 
wanted  to  know:  girls  will  buy  kittens,"  said  the 
Terror  in  a  tone  of  satisfaction.  "  Well,  we'll  sell 
these." 

"  But  we  can't  empty  the  home,"  said  Erebus. 


AND  THE  SACRED  BIRD  119 

"We  wouldn't.  We'd  buy  fresh  ones,  just  able 
to  lap,  for  threepence  each,  and  sell  these  at  a 
shilling.  We  might  make  nearly  a  sovereign  that 
way." 

"  So  we  should  —  a  whole  sovereign !  "  cried  Ere- 
bus; then  she  added  in  a  somewhat  envious  tone: 
"  You  do  think  of  things." 

"  I  have  to.  Where  should  we  be,  if  I  didn't?  " 
said  the  Terror. 

"  But  who  are  we  going  to  sell  them  to  ?  Every- 
body round  here  has  cats." 

"  Yes,  they  have,"  said  the  Terror,  frowning 
again.  "  Well,  we  shall  have  to  sell  them  some- 
where else." 

They  put  the  sleepy  kittens  back  in  their  hutches, 
and  walked  back  to  the  house,  pondering.  The  Ter- 
ror collected  the  books  for  his  morning's  work 
slowly,  still  thoughtful. 

As  he  was  leaving  the  house  he  said :  "  Look 
here;  the  place  for  us  to  sell  them  is  Rowington. 
The  people  round  here  sell  most  of  their  things  at 
Rowington  —  butter  and  eggs  and  poultry  and  rab- 
bits." 


120  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"  And  Ellen  would  sell  them  for  us  —  in  the  mar- 
ket," said  Erebus  quickly. 

"  Of  course  she  would !  You  see,  you  think  of 
things,  too !  "  cried  the  Terror ;  and  he  went  off  to 
his  lessons  with  an  almost  cheerful  air. 

After  lunch  they  rode  to  Great  Deeping  to  dis- 
cuss with  Ellen  the  matter  of  selling  their  kittens. 
She  had  been  their  nurse  for  the  first  four  years  of 
their  stay  at  Colet  House ;  and  she  had  left  them  to 
marry  a  small  farmer.  She  had  an  affection  for 
them,  especially  for  the  Terror;  and  she  had  not 
lost  touch  with  them.  She  welcomed  them  warmly, 
ushered  them  into  her  little  parlor,  brought  in  a 
decanter  of  elderberry  wine  and  a  cake.  When  she 
had  helped  them  to  cake  and  poured  out  their  wine, 
the  Terror  broached  the  matter  that  had  brought 
them  to  her  house. 

Ellen's  mind  ran  firmly  and  unswerving  in  the 
groove  of  butter  and  eggs  and  poultry,  which  she 
carried  every  market-day  to  Rowington  in  her  pony- 
cart.  She  laughed  consumedly  at  the  Terror's  be- 
lief that  any  one  would  want  to  buy  kittens.  But 
unmoved  by  her  open  incredulity,  he  was  very  pa- 
tient with  her  and  persuaded  her  to  try,  at  any 


AND  THE  SACRED  BIRD  121 

rate,  to  sell  their  kittens  at  her  stall  in  Rowington 
market.  Ellen  consented  to  make  the  attempt,  for 
she  had  always  found  it  difficult  to  resist  the  Ter- 
ror when  he  had  set  his  mind  on  a  thing,  and  she 
was  eager  to  oblige  him;  but  she  held  out  no  hopes 
ojf  success. 

The  Terror  came  away  content,  since  he  had 
gained  his  end,  and  did  not  share  her  despondency. 
Erebus,  on  the  other  hand,  infected  by  Ellen's  pes- 
simism, rode  in  a  gloomy  depression. 

Presently  her  face  brightened ;  and  with  an  air  of 
inspiration  she  said:  "  I  tell  you  what:  even  if  we 
don't  sell  those  kittens,  we  can  always  buy  the  stole. 
There's  all  that  cats'  home  money  in  the  bank. 
We  can  take  as  much  of  it  as  we  want,  and  pay  it 
back  by  degrees." 

"  No,  we  can't,"  said  the  Terror  firmly. 
"  We're  not  going  to  use  that  money  for  anything 
but  the  cats'  home.  I  promised  Mum  I  wouldn't. 
Besides,  she'd  like  the  stole  ever  so  much  better  if 
we'd  really  earned  it  ourselves." 

"  But  we  shan't,"  said  Erebus  gloomily.  "If 
we  sold  all  the  kittens,  it  will  only  make  twenty-three 
shillings." 


122  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"  Then  we  must  find  something  else  to  sell,"  said 
the  Terror  with  decision. 

His  mind  was  running  on  this  line,  when  a  quar- 
ter of  a  mile  from  Little  Deeping  they  came  upon 
Tom  Cobb  leaning  over  a  gate  surveying  a  field 
of  mangel-wurzel  with  vacant  amiability. 

Tom  Cobb  was  the  one  villager  they  re- 
spected; and  he  and  they  were  very  good  friends. 
Carping  souls  often  said  that  Tom  Cobb  had  never 
done  an  honest  day's  work  in  his  life.  Yet  he  was 
the  smartest  man  in  the  village,  the  most  neatly 
dressed,  always  with  money  in  his  pocket. 

It  was  common  knowledge  that  his  fortunate 
state  arose  from  his  constitutional  disability  to  ob- 
serve those  admirable  laws  which  have  been  passed 
for  the  protection  of  the  English  pheasants  from  all 
dangers  save  the  small  shot  of  those  who  have  them 
fed.  Tom  Cobb  waged  war,  a  war  of  varying 
fortunes  against  the  sacred  bird.  Sometimes  for 
a  whole  season  he  would  sell  the  victims  of  the 
carnage  of  the  war  with  never  a  check  to  his  ardor. 
In  another  season  some  prying  gamekeeper  would 
surprise  him  glutting  his  thirst  for  blood  and  gold, 
and  an  infuriated  bench  of  magistrates  would  fine 


AND  THE  SACRED  BIRD  123 

him.  The  fine  was  always  paid.  Tom  Cobb  was 
one  of  those  thrifty  souls  who  lay  up  money  against 
a  rainy  day. 

He  turned  at  the  sound  of  their  coming;  and  He 
and  the  Twins  greeted  one  another  with  smiles  of 
mutual  respect.  They  rode  on  a  few  yards;  and 
then  the  Terror  said,  "  By  Jove !  "  stopped,  slipped 
off  his  bicycle,  and  wheeled  it  back  to  the  gate. 
Erebus  followed  him  more  slowly. 

"  I've  been  wondering  if  you'd  do  me  a  favor, 
Tom,"  said  the  Terror.  "  I've  always  wanted  to 
know  how  to  make  a  snare.  I'll  give  you  half-a- 
crown  if  you'll  teach  me." 

Tom  Cobb's  clear  blue  eyes  sparkled  at  the 
thought  of  half-a-crown,  but  he  hesitated.  He 
knew  the  Twins;  he  knew  that  with  them  a  little 
knowledge  was  a  dangerous  thing  —  for  others. 
He  foresaw  trouble  for  the  sacred  bird ;  he  foresaw 
trouble  for  his  natural  foes,  the  gamekeepers.  He 
did  not  foresee  trouble  for  the  Twins;  he  knew 
them.  And  very  distinctly  he  saw  half-a-crown. 

He  grinned  and  said  slowly,  "  Yes,  Master  Ter- 
ror, I'll  be  very  'appy  to  teach  you  'ow  to  make  a 
snare." 


I24  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"  Thank  you.  I'll  come  around  to-morrow  after- 
noon, about  two,"  said  the  Terror  gratefully. 

"  It  will  be  nice  to  know  how  to  make  snares !  " 
cried  Erubus  happily  as  they  rode  on.  "I  wonder 
we  never  thought  of  it  before." 

"  We  didn't  want  a  fur  stole  before,"  said  the 
Terror. 

The  next  afternoon  Erebus  in  vain  entreated  him 
to  take  her  with  him  to  Tom  Cobb's  cottage  to  share 
the  lesson  in  the  art  of  making  snares.  But  the 
Terror  would  not.  Often  he  was  indulgent;  often 
he  was  firm.  To-day  he  was  firm. 

He  returned  from  his  lesson  with  a  serene  face, 
but  he  said  rather  sadly :  "  I've  still  a  lot  to  learn. 
But  come  on:  I've  got  to  buy  something  in  Row- 
ington." 

They  rode  swiftly  into  Rowington,  for  the  next 
day  was  market-day,  and  they  had  to  get  the  kittens 
ready  for  Ellen  to  sell.  At  Rowington  the  Terror 
bought  copper  wire  at  an  ironmonger's ;  and  he  was 
very  careful  to  buy  it  of  a  certain  thickness. 

They  rode  home  swiftly,  and  at  once  selected  six 
kittens  for  the  experiment.  Much  to  the  surprise 
and  disgust  of  those  kittens,  they  washed  them 


AND  THE  SACRED  BIRD  125 

thoroughly  in  the  kitchen.  They  dried  them,  and 
decided  to  keep  them  in  its  warmth  till  the  next 
morning. 

After  the  washing  of  the  kittens,  they  betook 
themselves  to  the  making  of  snares.  Erebus,  ever 
sanguine,  supposed  that  they  would  make  snares 
at  once.  The  Terror  had  no  such  expectation ;  and 
it  was  a  long  while  before  he  got  one  at  all  to  his 
liking. 

Remembering  Tom  Cobb's  instructions,  he 
washed  it,  and  then  put  on  gloves  before  setting  it 
in  the  hole  in  the  hedge  through  which  the  rabbits 
from  the  common  were  wont  to  enter  their  garden 
to  eat  the  cabbages.  He  was  up  betimes  next  morn- 
ing, found  a  rabbit  in  the  snare,  and  thrilled  with 
joy.  The  fur  stole  had  come  within  the  range  of 
possibility. 

Before  breakfast  they  made  the  toilet  of  the  six 
chosen  kittens,  brushing  them  with  the  Terror's 
hair-brush  till  their  fur  was  of  a  sleekness  it  had 
never  known  before.  Then  Erebus  adorned  the 
neck  of  each  with  a  bow  of  blue  ribbon.  Knowing 
the  ways  of  kittens,  she  sewed  on  the  bows,  and 
sewed  them  on  firmly.  It  could  not  be  doubted  that 


126  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

they  looked  much  finer  than  ordinary  unwashed 
kittens.  Directly  after  breakfast  the  Twins  put 
three  in  the  basket  of  either  of  their  bicycles,  rode 
over  to  Rowington  and  handed  them  over  to 
Ellen. 

They  would  have  liked  to  stay  to  see  what  luck 
she  had  with  them  but  they  had  to  return  to  their 
lessons.  After  lunch  they  made  three  more  snares; 
and  the  Terror  found  that  the  fingers  of  Erebus 
were,  if  anything,  more  deft  at  snare-making  than 
his  own. 

It  was  late  in  the  afternoon  when  they  reached 
Rowington  again;  and  when  they  came  to  Ellen's 
stall,  they  found  to  their  joy  that  the  basket  which 
had  held  the  six  kittens  was  empty. 

Ellen  greeted  them  with  a  smile  of  the  liveliest 
satisfaction,  and  said:  "Well,  Master  Terror,  you 
were  right,  and  I  was  wrong.  I've  sold  them  kitties 
—  every  one  —  and  I've  had  two  more  ordered. 
It  was  when  the  ladies  from  the  Hill  came  market- 
ing that  they  went." 

She  opened  her  purse,  took  out  six  shillings,  and 
held  them  out  to  the  Terror. 

"  Five,"  said  the  Terror.     "  I  must  pay  you  a 


AND  THE  SACRED  BIRD  127 

shilling  for  selling  them.  It's  what  they  call  com- 
mission." 

"No,  sir;  I  don't  want  any  commission,"  said 
Ellen  firmly.  "  As  long  as  those  kitties  were  there, 
I  sold  more  butter  and  eggs  and  fowls  than  any  one 
else  in  the  market.  I  haven't  had  such  a  good  day 
not  ever  before.  And  I'll  be  glad  to  sell  as  many 
kitties  as  you  can  bring  me." 

The  Terror  pressed  her  to  accept  the  shilling,  but 
she  remained  firm.  The  Twins  rode  joyfully  home 
with  six  shillings. 

That  night  the  Terror  set  his  four  snares  in  the 
hedge  of  the  garden  about  the  common.  He 
caught  three  rabbits. 

The  next  morning  he  was  silent  and  very  thought- 
ful as  he  helped  feed  the  kittens  and  change  the 
hay  in  the  hutches. 

At  last  he  said  rather  sadly :  "  It's  sometimes 
rather  awkward  being  a  Dangerfield." 

"Why?"  said  Erebus  surprised. 

"  Those  rabbits,"  said  the  Terror.  "  I  want  to 
sell  them.  But  it's  no  good  going  into  Rowington 
and  trying  to  sell  them  to  a  poulterer.  Even  if  he 
wanted  rabbits  —  which  he  mightn't  —  he'd  only 


128  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

give  me  sixpence  each  for  them.  But  if  I  were  to 
sell  them  myself  here,  I  could  get  eightpence,  or 
perhaps  ninepence  each  for  them.  But,  you  see,  a 
Dangerfield  can't  go  about  selling  things.  Uncle 
Maurice  said  I  had  the  makings  of  a  millionaire  in 
me,  but  a  Dangerfield  couldn't  go  into  business. 
It's  the  family  tradition  not  to.  That's  what  he 
said." 

"  Perhaps  he  was  only  rotting,"  said  Erebus  hope- 
fully. 

"  No,  he  wasn't.  I  asked  Mum,  and  she  said  it 
was  the  family  tradition,  too.  I  expect  that's  why 
we're  all  so  hard  up." 

"  But  the  squire  sells  things,"  said  Erebus  quickly. 
"  And  you  can't  say  he  isn't  a  gentleman,  though 
the  Anstruthers  aren't  so  old  as  the  Dangerfields." 

"  Of  course,  he  does.  He  sells  some  of  his 
game,"  said  the  Terror,  in  a  tone  of  great  relief. 
"  Game  must  be  all  right,  and  we  can  easily  count 
rabbits  as  game." 

Forthwith  he  proceeded  to  count  rabbits  as  game ; 
they  put  the  four  they  had  caught  into  the  baskets 
of  their  bicycles  and  rode  out  on  a  tour  of  the 
neighborhood.  The  Terror  went  to  the  back  doors 


AND  THE  SACRED  BIRD  129 

of  their  well-to-do  neighbors  and  offered  his  rab- 
bits to  their  cooks  with  the  gratifying  result  that 
in  less  than  an  hour  he  had  sold  all  four  of  them  at 
eightpence  each. 

They  rode  home  in  triumph:  the  fur  stole  was 
moving  toward  them.  They  had  already  eight 
shillings  and  eightpence  out  of  the  sixty-three  shil- 
lings. 

It  was  sometimes  said  of  the  Twins  by  the  carping 
that  they  never  knew  when  to  stop;  but  in  this  case 
it  was  not  their  fault  that  they  went  on.  It  was 
the  fault  of  the  rabbit  market.  At  the  fifteenth 
rabbit,  when  they  had  but  eighteen  shillings  and 
eightpence  toward  the  stole,  the  bottom  fell  out 
of  it.  For  the  time  the  desire  of  Little  Deeping 
to  eat  rabbits  was  sated. 

It  was  also  the  fault  of  the  insidious  cook  of 
Mrs.  Blenkinsop,  who,  after  refusing  to  buy  the  fif- 
teenth rabbit,  said :  "  Now,  if  you  was  to  bring 
me  a  nice  fat  pheasant  twice  a  week,  it  would  be  a 
very  different  thing,  Master  Dangerfield." 

The  Terror  looked  at  her  thoughtfully;  then  he 
said :  "  And  how  much  would  you  pay  for  pheas- 
ants?" 


130  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

The  cook  made  a  silent  appeal  to  those  processes 
of  mental  arithmetic  she  had  learned  in  her  village 
school,  saw  her  way  to  a  profit  of  threepence,  per- 
haps ninepence,  on  each  bird,  and  said :  "  Two  and 
threepence  each,  sir." 

The  Terror  looked  at  her  again  thoughtfully,  con- 
sidering her  offer.  He  saw  her  profit  of  three- 
pence, perhaps  ninepence,  and  said :  "  All  right, 
I'll  bring  you  two  or  three  a  week.  But  you'll 
have  to  pay  cash." 

"  Oh,  yes,  sir.     Of  course,  sir,"  said  the  cook. 

"  Do  you  know  any  one  else  who'd  buy  pheas- 
ants?" he  said. 

"  Well,  there's  Mr.  Carrington's  cook,"  said  the 
cook  slowly.  "  She  has  the  management  of  the 
housekeeping  money  like  I  do.  I  think  she  might 
buy  pheasants  from  you.  Mr.  Carrington's  very 
partial  to  game." 

"Right,"  said  the  Terror.  "And  thank  you 
for  telling  me." 

He  rode  straight  to  the  house  of  Mr.  Carrington, 
and  broached  the  matter  to  his  cook,  to  whom  he 
had  already  sold  rabbits.  He  made  a  direct  offer 
to  her  of  two  pheasants  a  week  at  two  and  three- 


AND  THE  SACRED  BIRD  131 

pence  each.  After  a  vain  attempt  to  beat  him  down 
to  two  shillings,  she  accepted  it. 

He  rode  home  in  a  pleasant  glow  of  triumph :  the 
snares  which  caught  rabbits  would  catch  pheasants. 
At  first  he  was  for  catching  those  pheasants  by  him- 
self. Snaring  rabbits  was  a  harmless  enterprise; 
snaring  pheasants  was  poaching;  and  poaching  was 
not  a  girl's  work.  Then  he  came  to  the  conclusion 
that  he  would  need  the  help  of  Erebus  and  must  tell 
her. 

When  he  revealed  to  her  this  vision  of  a  new 
Eldorado,  she  said :  "  But  where  are  you  going  to 
get  pheasants  from  ?  " 

"  Woods,"  said  the  Terror,  embracing  the 
horizon  in  a  sweeping  gesture. 

Erebus  looked  round  the  horizon  with  greedy 
eyes ;  they  sparkled  fiercely. 

"  The  only  thing  is,  we  don't  know  nearly  enough 
about  snaring  pheasants.  And  I  don't  like  to  ask 
Tom  Cobb :  he  might  talk  about  it ;  and  that  wouldn't 
do  at  all,"  said  the  Terror. 

"  But  there's  nobody  else  to  ask." 

"  I  don't  know  about  that.  There's  Wiggins' 
father.  He  knows  a  lot  of  useful  things  besides 


132  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

higher  mathematics.  The  only  thing  is,  we  must 
do  it  in  such  a  way  that  he  doesn't  see  we're  trying 
to  get  anything  out  of  him." 

"  Well,  I  should  think  we  could  do  that.  He's 
really  quite  simple,"  said  Erebus. 

"  As  long  as  you  understand  what  I'm  driving 
at,"  said  the  Terror. 

That  evening  they  prepared  eight  more  kittens 
for  sale  at  Rowington  market,  and  carried  them 
into  Rowington  directly  after  breakfast  next  morn- 
ing. Ellen  told  them,  with  some  indignation,  that 
two  rival  poultry-sellers  had  both  brought  three  kit- 
tens to  sell.  The  Twins  at  once  went  to  inspect 
them,  and  came  back  with  the  cheering  assurance 
that  those  kittens  were  not  a  patch  on  those  she 
was  selling.  They  were  right,  for  Ellen  sold  all 
the  eight  before  a  rival  sold  one;  and  the  joyful 
Twins  carried  home  eight  more  shillings  toward 
the  stole. 

On  the  next  three  afternoons  they  rode  forth  with 
the  intention  of  coming  upon  Mr.  Carrington  by 
seeming  accident ;  but  it  was  not  till  the  third  after- 
noon that  they  came  upon  him  and  Wiggins,  walk- 
ing briskly,  about  three  miles  from  Little  Deeping. 


AND  THE  SACRED  BIRD  133 

The  Twins,  as  a  rule,  were  wont  to  shun  Mr. 
Carrington.  They  had  a  great  respect  for  his  at- 
tainments, but  a  much  greater  for  his  humor.  In  ' 
Erebus,  this  respect  often  took  the  form  of  wrig- 
gling in  his  presence.  She  did  not  know  what  he 
might  say  about  her  next.  He  was,  therefore, 
somewhat  surprised  when  they  slipped  off  their 
bicycles  and  joined  him.  He  wondered  what  they 
wanted. 

Apparently,  they  were  merely  in  a  gregarious 
mood,  yearning  for  the  society  of  their  fellow 
creatures;  but  in  about  three  minutes  the  talk  was 
running  on  pheasants.  Mr.  Carrington  did  not  like 
pheasants,  except  from  the  point  of  view  of  eating; 
and  he  dwelt  at  length  on  the  devastation  the  sacred 
bird  was  working  in  the  English  countryside:  vil- 
lages were  being  emptied  and  let  fall  to  ruin  that  it 
might  live  undisturbed;  the  song-birds  were  being 
killed  off  to  give  it  the  woods  to  itself. 

It  seemed  but  a  natural  step  from  the  pheasant 
to  the  poacher ;  he  was  not  aware  that  he  took  it  at 
the  prompting  of  the  Terror;  and  he  bewailed  the 
degeneracy  of  the  British  rustic,  his  slow  reversion 
to  the  type  of  neolithic  man,  owing  to  the  fact 


I34  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

that  the  towns  drained  the  villages  of  all  the  intelli- 
gent. The  skilful  poacher  who  harried  the  sacred 
bird  was  fast  becoming  extinct. 

Then,  at  last,  he  came  to  the  important  matter 
of  the  wiles  of  the  poacher;  and  the  thirsty  ears  of 
the  Terror  drank  in  his  golden  words.  He  dis- 
cussed the  methods  of  the  gang  of  poachers  and  the 
single  poacher  with  intelligent  relish  and  more 
sympathy  than  was  perhaps  wise  to  display  in  the 
presence  of  the  young.  The  Terror  came 
from  that  talk  with  a  firm  belief  in  the  efficacy  of 
raisins. 

The  next  afternoon  the  Twins  rode  into  Rowing- 
ton  and  bought  a  pound  of  raisins  at  the  leading 
grocer's.  They  might  well  have  bought  them  at 
Little  Deeping,  encouraging  local  enterprise;  but 
they  thought  Rowington  safer.  They  always  took 
every  possible  precaution  at  the  beginning  of  an 
enterprise.  They  did  not  ride  straight  home. 
Three  miles  out  of  Rowington  was  a  small  clump  of 
trees  on  a  hill.  At  the  foot  of  the  hill,  a  hundred 
yards  below  the  clump,  lay  Great  Deeping  wood, 
acre  upon  acre.  It  had  lately  passed,  along  with 
the  rest  of  the  Great  Deeping  estate,  into  the  hands 


AND  THE  SACRED  BIRD  135 

of  Mr.  D'Arcy  Rosenheimer,  a  pudding- faced,  but 
stanch  young  Briton  of  the  old  Pomeranian  strain. 
He  was  not  loved  in  the  county,  even  by  landed 
proprietors  of  less  modern  stocks,  for,  though  he 
cherished  the  laudable  ambition  of  having  the  finest 
pheasant  shoot  in  England,  and  was  on  the  way  to 
realize  It,  he  did  not  invite  his  neighbors  to  help 
shoot  them.  His  friends  came  wholly  from  The 
Polite  World  which  so  adorns  the  illustrated 
weeklies. 

It  was  in  the  deep  December  dusk  that  the  Twins 
came  to  the  clump  on  the  hill.  The  Terror  lifted 
their  bicycles  over  the  gate  and  set  them  behind  the 
hedge.  He  removed  the  pound  of  raisins  from  his 
bicycle  basket  to  his  pocket,  and  leaving  Erebus  to 
keep  watch,  he  stole  down  the  hedge  to  the  clump, 
crawled  through  a  gap  into  it,  and  walked  through 
it.  One  pheasant  scuttled  out  of  it,  down  the 
hedgerow  to  the  wood  below.  The  occurrence 
pleased  him.  He  crawled  out  of  the  clump  on  the 
farther  side,  and  proceeded  to  lay  a  train  of  raisins 
down  the  ditch  of  the  hedge  to  the  wood.  He  did 
not  lay  it  right  down  to  the  wood  lest  some  inquisi- 
tive gamekeeper  might  espy  it.  Then  he  returned 


136  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

with  fine,   red   Indian  caution  to  Erebus.     They 
rode  home  well  content. 

Next  evening,  with  another  bag  of  raisins,  they 
sought  the  clump  again.  Again  the  Terror  laid 
a  trail  of  raisins  along  the  ditch  from  the  wood  to 
the  clump.  But  this  evening  he  set  a  snare  in  the 
hedge  of  the  clump,  just  above  the  end  of  the  ditch. 
Later  he  took  from  that  snare  a  plump  but  sacred 
bird.  Later  still  he  sold  it  to  the  cook  of  Mrs. 
Blenkinsop  for  two  and  threepence. 


CHAPTER  VI 

AND  THE  LANDED  PROPRIETOR 

ON  reaching  home  the  Terror  displayed  the 
two  shillings  and  threepence  to  Erebus  with 
an  unusual  air  of  triumph;  as  a  rule  he  showed 
himself  serenely  unmoved  alike  in  victory  and  de- 
feat. 

"  That's  all  right,"  said  Erebus  cheerfully. 
"  That  makes  —  that  makes  twenty-eight  and 
eleven-pence.  We  are  getting  on." 

''  Yes ;  it's  twenty-eight  and  eleven-pence  now," 
said  the  Terror  quickly.  "  But  you  don't  seem  to 
see  that  when  we've  got  the  stole  for  Mum  these 
pheasants  will  still  be  going  on." 

"  Of  course  they  will ! "  cried  Erebus ;  and  her 
eyes  shone  very  brightly  indeed  at  the  joyful 
thought. 

The  next  day  the  Terror  obtained  some  sand- 
wiches from  Sarah  after  breakfast ;  and  as  soon  as 
his  lessons  were  over  he  rode  hard  to  the  clump 

137 


138  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

above  Great  Deeping  wood.  He  reached  it  at  the 
hour  when  gamekeepers  are  at  their  dinner,  and 
was  able  to  make  a  thorough  examination  of  it. 
He  found  it  full  of  pheasant  runs,  and  chose  the 
two  likeliest  places  for  his  snares.  He  did  not  set 
them  then  and  there;  a  keeper  on  his  afternoon 
round  might  see  them.  He  came  again  in  the 
evening  with  Erebus,  laid  trails  of  raisins  and  set 
them  then.  Later  he  sold  a  pheasant  to  the  cook 
of  Mrs.  Blenkinsop  and  one  to  the  cook  of  Mr. 
Carrington. 

During  the  next  fortnight  they  sold  eight  more 
pheasants  and  eight  more  kittens.  They  found 
themselves  in  the  happy  position  of  needing  only 
six  shillings  more  to  make  up  the  price  of  the  fur 
stole. 

But  it  had  been  impossible  for  the  Twins  to  re- 
main content  with  the  clump  of  trees  above  Great 
Deeping  wood.  They  had  laid  a  trail  of  raisins  and 
set  a  snare  in  the  wood  itself,  in  the  nearest  corner 
of  it  on  the  valley  road  which  divides  the  wood  into 
two  nearly  equal  parts. 

On  the  next  afternoon  they  had  ridden  into  Row- 
ington  with  Wiggins;  and  since  the  roads  were 


AND  THE  LANDED  PROPRIETOR      139 

heavy  they  did  not  go  back  the  shortest  way  over 
Great  Deeping  hill,  but  took  the  longer  level  road 
along  the  valley.  The  afternoon  was  still  young, 
and  for  December,  uncommonly  clear  and  bright. 
But  as  they  rode  through  the  wood,  the  Terror 
decided  that  instead  of  returning  to  it  in  the  favor- 
ing dusk  he  might  as  well  examine  the  snare  in  the 
corner  now,  and  save  himself  another  journey.  It 
was  a  risk  no  experienced  poacher  would  have  taken ; 
but  old  heads,  alas !  do  not  grow  on  young  shoulders. 

He  dismounted  about  the  middle  of  the  wood,  in- 
formed the  other  two  of  his  purpose  (to  the  surprise 
of  Wiggins  who  had  not  been  informed  of  his 
friends'  latest  exploits)  and  made  his  dispositions. 
When  they  came  to  the  corner  of  the  wood,  Erebus 
rode  on  up  the  road  to  keep  a  lookout  ahead.  The 
Terror  slipped  off  his  bicycle,  and  so  did  Wiggins. 
Wiggins  held  the  two  bicycles.  The  Terror  lis- 
tened. The  wood  was  very  still  in  its  winter  silence. 
He  slipped  through  the  hedge  into  it,  and  presently 
came  back  bringing  with  him  a  very  nice  young 
pheasant  indeed.  He  put  it  into  the  basket  of  his 
bicycle,  and  mounted. 

They  had  barely  started  when  a  keeper  sprang  out 


140  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

of  the  hedge,  thirty  yards  ahead,  and  came  run- 
ning toward  them,  shouting  in  a  very  daunting 
fashion  as  he  came.  There  was  neither  time  nor 
room  to  turn.  They  rode  on ;  and  the  keeper  made 
for  the  Terror.  The  Terror  swerved;  and  the 
keeper  swerved.  Wiggins  ran  bang  into  the  keeper; 
and  they  came  to  the  ground  together  as  the  Ter- 
ror shot  ahead,  pedaling  as  hard  as  he  could. 

He  caught  up  Erebus,  and  his  cry  of  "  Keeper!  " 
set  her  racing  beside  him;  but  both  of  them  kept 
looking  back  for  Wiggins;  and  presently,  when  no 
Wiggins  appeared,  with  one  accord  they  slowed 
down,  stopped  and  dismounted. 

"  The  keeper's  got  him.  This  is  a  mess !  "  said 
the  Terror,  who  was  panting  a  little  from  their 
spurt. 

"  If  only  it  had  been  one  of  us !  "  cried  Erebus. 
"  Whatever  are  we  to  do?  " 

"If  that  beastly  keeper  hadn't  seen  me  with  the 
pheasant,  I'd  get  Wiggins  away,  somehow,"  said 
the  Terror.  "  But,  as  it  is,  it's  me  they  really 
want ;  and  I'd  get  fined  to  a  dead  certainty.  Come 
on,  let's  go  back  and  see  what's  happened  to  him. 
You  scout  on  ahead.  Nobody  knows  you're  in  it." 


AND  THE  LANDED  PROPRIETOR       141 

"  All  right,"  said  Erebus ;  and  she  mounted 
briskly. 

She  rode  back  through  the  wood  slowly,  her  keen 
eyes  straining  for  a  sign  of  an  ambush.  The  Terror 
followed  her  at  a  distance  of  sixty  yards,  ready  to 
jump  off,  turn  his  machine,  and  fly  should  she  give 
the  alarm.  They  got  no  sight  of  Wiggins  till  they 
came,  just  beyond  the  end  of  the  wood,  to  the 
lodges  of  Great  Deeping  Park;  then,  half-way  up 
the  drive,  they  saw  the  keeper  and  his  prey.  The 
keeper  held  Wiggins  with  his  left  hand  and  wheeled 
the  captured  bicycle  with  his  right.  The  Twins  dis- 
mounted. Even  at  that  distance  they  could  see  the 
deep  dejection  of  their  friend. 

"  There's  not  really  any  reason  for  him  to  be 
frightened.  He  was  never  in  the  wood  at  all; 
and  he  never  touched  the  pheasant,"  said  the 
Terror. 

"  What  does  that  matter  ?  He  will  be  frightened 
out  of  his  life;  he's  so  young,"  cried  Erebus  in  a 
tone  of  acute  distress,  gazing  after  their  receding 
friend  with  very  anxious  eyes.  "  He's  not  like  us ; 
he  won't  cheek  the  keeper  all  the  way  like  we 
should." 


142  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"  Oh,  Wiggins  has  plenty  of  pluck,"  said  the 
Terror  in  a  reassuring  tone. 

"  But  he  won't  understand  he's  all  right.  He's 
only  ten.  And  there's  no  saying  how  that  beastly 
foreigner  who  shoots  nightingales  will  bully  him," 
cried  Erebus  with  unabated  anxiety. 

This  was  her  womanly  irrational  conception  of  a 
Pomeranian  Briton. 

"  Well,  the  sooner  we  go  and  fetch  his  father 
the  sooner  he'll  be  out  of  it,"  said  the  Terror, 
making  as  if  to  mount  his  bicycle. 

"  No,  no !  That  won't  do  at  all !  "  cried  Erebus 
fiercely.  "  We've  got  to  rescue  him  now  —  at  once. 
We  got  him  into  the  mess ;  and  we've  got  to  get  him 
out  of  it.  You've  got  to  find  a  way." 

"  It's  all  very  well,"  said  the  Terror,  frowning 
deeply ;  and  he  took  off  his  cap  to  wrestle  more  man- 
fully with  the  problem. 

Erebus  faced  him,  frowning  even  more  deeply. 

Never  had  the  Twins  been  so  hopelessly  at  a 
loss. 

Then  the  Terror  said  in  his  gloomiest  tone: 
"  I  can't  see  what  we  can  do." 


AND  THE  LANDED  PROPRIETOR      143 

"  Oh,  I'm  going  to  get  him  out  of  it  somehow ! " 
cried  Erebus  in  a  furious  desperation. 

With  that  she  mounted  her  bicycle  and  rode 
swiftly  up  the  drive. 

The  Terror  mounted,  started  after  her,  and 
stopped  at  the  end  of  fifty  yards.  It  had  occurred 
to  him  that,  after  all,  he  was  the  only  poacher  of 
the  three,  the  only  one  in  real  danger.  As  he 
leaned  on  his  machine,  watching  his  vanishing  sis- 
ter, he  ground  his  teeth.  For  all  his  natural 
serenity,  inaction  was  in  the  highest  degree  re- 
pugnant to  him. 

Erebus  reached  Great  Deeping  Court  but  a  few 
minutes  after  Wiggins  and  the  keeper.  She  was 
about  to  ride  on  round  the  house,  thinking  that  the 
keeper  would,  as  befitted  his  station,  enter  it  by  the 
back  door,  when  she  saw  Wiggins'  bicycle  standing 
against  one  of  the  pillars  of  the  great  porch.  In  a 
natural  elation  at  having  captured  a  poacher,  and 
eager  to  display  his  prize  without  delay,  the  keeper 
had  gone  straight  into  the  great  hall. 

Erebus  dismounted  and  stood  considering  for  per- 
haps half  a  minute ;  then  she  moved  Wiggins'  bicycle 


144  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

so  that  it  was  right  to  his  hand  if  he  came  out,  set 
her  own  bicycle  against  another  of  the  pillars,  but 
out  of  sight  lest  he  should  take  it  by  mistake,  walked 
up  the  steps,  hammered  the  knocker  firmly,  and  rang 
the  bell.  The  moment  the  door  opened  she  stepped 
quickly  past  the  footman  into  the  hall.  The  keeper 
sat  on  a  chair  facing  her,  and  on  a  chair  beside  him 
sat  Wiggins  looking  white  and  woebegone. 

Erebus  gazed  at  them  with  angry  sparkling  eyes, 
then  she  said  sharply :  "  What  are  you  doing  with 
my  little  brother?" 

She  adopted  Wiggins  with  this  suddenness  in 
order  to  strengthen  her  position. 

The  keeper  opened  his  eyes  in  some  surprise  at 
her  uncompromising  tone,  but  he  said  triumphantly : 
"  I  caught  'im  poachin' — " 

"  Stand  up !  What  do  you  mean  by  speaking  to 
me  sitting  down  ?  "  cried  Erebus  in  her  most  impera- 
tive tone. 

The  keeper  stood  up  with  uncommon  quickness 
and  a  sudden  sheepish  air :  "  'E  was  poachin'/'  he 
said  sulkily. 

"He  was  not!  A  little  boy  like  that!"  cried 
Erebus  scornfully. 


AND  THE  LANDED  PROPRIETOR      145 

"  Anyways,  'e  was  aidin'  an'  abettin',  an'  I've 
brought  'im  to  Mr.  D'Arcy  Rosynimer  an*  it's  for 
'im  to  say,"  said  the  keeper  stubbornly. 

There  came  a  faint  click  from  the  beautiful  lips 
of  Erebus,  the  gentle  click  by  which  the  Twins  called 
each  other  to  attention.  At  the  sound  Wiggins, 
his  face  faintly  flushed  with  hope,  braced  himself. 
Erebus  measured  the  distance  with  the  eye  of  an 
expert,  just  as  there  came  into  the  farther  end  of 
the  hall  that  large,  flabby,  pudding- faced  young 
Pomeranian  Briton,  Mr.  D'Arcy  Rosenheimer. 

"Where's  the  boacher?"  he  roared  in  an  eager, 
angry  voice,  reverting  in  his  emotion  to  the  an- 
cestral "  b." 

As  the  keeper  turned  to  him  Erebus  sprang  to  the 
door  and  threw  it  wide. 

"  Bolt,  Wiggins !  "  she  cried. 

Wiggins  bolted  for  the  door;  the  keeper  grabbed 
at  him  and  missed;  the  footman  grabbed,  and 
grabbed  the  interposing  Erebus.  She  slammed  the 
door  behind  the  vanished  Wiggins. 

Mr.  D'Arcy  Rosenheimer  dashed  heavily  down 
the  hall  with  a  thick  howl.  Erebus  set  her  back 
against  the  door.  He  caught  her  by  the  left  arm 


146  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

to  sling  her  out  of  the  way.  It  was  a  silly  arm  to 
choose,  for  she  caught  him  a  slap  on  his  truly 
Pomeranian  expanse  of  cheek  with  the  full  swing 
of  her  right,  a  slap  that  rang  through  the  great 
hall  like  the  crack  of  a  whip-lash.  Mr.  D'Arcy 
Rosenheimer  was  large  but  tender.  He  howled 
again,  and  thumped  at  Erebus  with  big  flabby  fists. 
She  caught  the  first  blow  on  an  uncommonly  acute 
elbow.  The  second  never  fell,  for  the  footman 
caught  him  by  the  collar  and  swung  him  round. 

"  It's  not  for  the  likes  of  you  to  'it  Henglish 
young  ladies !  "  he  cried  with  patriotic  indignation. 

Mr.  D'Arcy  Rosenheimer  gasped  and  gurgled; 
then  he  howled  furiously,  "  Ged  out  of  my  house ! 
Now  —  at  once  —  ged  out !  " 

"  And  pleased  I  shall  be  to  go  —  when  I've  bin 
paid  my  wages.  It's  a  month  to-morrow  since  I 
gave  notice,  anyhow.  I've  had  enough  of  fur- 
riners,"  said  the  footman  with  cold  exultation. 

"Go  —  go  —  ged  oud!"  roared  Mr.  D'Arcy 
Rosenheimer. 

"  When  I've  bin  paid  my  wages,"  said  the  foot- 
man coldly. 

Erebus  waited  to  hear  no  more.     She  turned  the 


AND  THE  LANDED  PROPRIETOR      147 

latch,  slipped  through  the  door,  and  slammed  it 
behind  her.  To  her  dismay  she  saw  a  big  motor- 
car coming  round  the  corner  of  the  house.  She 
mounted  quickly  and  raced  down  the  drive.  Wig- 
gins was  already  out  of  sight. 

Just  outside  the  lodge  gates  she  found  the  Terror 
waiting  for  her. 

"  I've  sent  Wiggins  on ! "  he  shouted  as  she 
passed. 

"  Come  on !  Come  on ! "  she  shrieked  back. 
'  The  beastly  foreigner's  got  a  motor-car !  " 

He  caught  her  up  in  a  quarter  of  a  mile ;  and  she 
told  him  that  the  car  had  been  ready  to  start.  They 
caught  up  Wiggins  a  mile  and  a  half  down  the  road ; 
and  all  three  of  them  sat  down  to  ride  all  they  knew. 
They  were  fully  eight  miles  from  home,  and  the 
car  could  go  three  miles  to  their  one  on  that  good 
road.  The  Twins  alone  would  have  made  a  longer 
race  of  it;  but  the  pace  was  set  by  the  weaker 
Wiggins.  They  had  gone  little  more  than  three 
miles  when  they  heard  the  honk  of  the  car  as  it 
came  rapidly  round  a  corner  perhaps  half  a  mile 
behind  them. 

"  Go  on,  Terror !  "  cried  Erebus.     "  You're  the 


i48  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

one  that  matters !  You  did  the  poaching !  I'll  look 
after  Wiggins !  He'll  be  all  right  with  me.  " 

For  perhaps  fifty  yards  the  Terror  hesitated; 
then  the  wisdom  of  the  advice  sank  in,  and  he  shot 
ahead.  Erebus  kept  behind  Wiggins;  and  they 
rode  on.  The  car  was  overhauling  them  rapidly, 
but  not  so  rapidly  as  it  would  have  done  had  not 
Mr.  D'Arcy  Rosenheimer,  who  lacked  the  courage 
of  his  famous  grenadier  ancestors,  been  in  it.  He 
was  howling  at  his  straining  chauffeur  to  go  slower. 

Nevertheless  at  the  end  of  a  mile  and  a  half  the 
car  was  less  than  fifty  yards  behind  them ;  and  then 
a  figure  came  into  sight  swinging  briskly  along. 

"  It's  your  father !  "  gasped  Erebus. 

It  was,  indeed,  the  higher  mathematician. 

As  they  reached  him,  they  flung  themselves  of? 
their  bicycles ;  and  Erebus  cried :  "  Wiggins  hasn't 
been  poaching  at  all !  It  was  the  Terror !  " 

"  Was  it,  indeed  ?  "  said  Mr.  Carrington  calmly. 

On  his  words  the  car  was  on  them;  and  as  it 
came  to  a  dead  stop  Mr.  D'Arcy  Rosenheimer 
tumbled  clumsily  out  of  it. 

"  I've  got  you,  you  liddle  devil !  "  he  bellowed 
triumphantly,  but  quite  incorrectly;  and  he  rushed 


AND  THE  LANDED  PROPRIETOR      149 

at  Wiggins  who  stepped  discreetly  behind  his  father. 

"  WhaVs  the  matter  ?  "  said  Mr.  Carrington. 

The  excited  young  Pomeranian  Briton,  taking  in 
his  age  and  size  at  a  single  glance,  shoved  him  aside 
with  splendid  violence.  Mr.  Carrington  seemed  to 
step  lightly  backward  and  forward  in  one  move- 
ment; his  left  arm  shot  out;  and  there  befell  Mr. 
D'Arcy  Rosenheimer  what,  in  the  technical  terms 
affected  by  the  fancy,  is  described  as  "  an  uppercut 
on  the  point  which  put  him  to  sleep."  He  fell  as 
falls  a  sack  of  potatoes,  and  lay  like  a  log. 

The  keeper  had  just  disengaged  himself  from 
the  car  and  hurried  forward. 

"Do  you  want  some  too,  my  good  man?"  said 
Mr.  Carrington  in  his  most  agreeable  tone,  keeping 
his  guard  rather  low. 

The  keeper  stopped  short  and  looked  down,  with 
a  satisfaction  he  made  no  effort  to  hide,  at  the  body 
of  his  stricken  employer  which  lay  between  them. 

"  I  can't  say  as  I  do,  sir,"  he  said  civilly ;  and  he 
backed  away. 

"  Then  perhaps  you'll  be  good  enough  to  tell  me 
the  name  of  this  hulking  young  blackguard  who  as- 
saults quiet  elderly  gentlemen,  taking  constitu- 


150  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

tionals,  in  this  most  unprovoked  and  wanton 
fashion,"  said  the  higher  mathematician  in  the  same 
agreeable  tone. 

"Assaults?  —  'Im  assault?  —  Yes,  sir;  it's  Mr. 
D'Arcy  Rosenheimer,  of  Great  Deeping  Court,  sir," 
said  the  keeper  respectfully. 

"  Then  tell  Mr.  D'Arcy  Rosenheimer,  when  he 
recovers  the  few  wits  he  looks  to  have,  with  my 
compliments,  that  he  will  some  time  this  evening  be 
summoned  for  assault.  Good  afternoon,"  said  Mr. 
Carrington,  and  he  turned  on  his  heel. 

The  keeper  and  the  chauffeur  stooped  over  the 
body  of  their  young  employer.  Mr.  Carrington  did 
not  so  much  as  turn  his  head.  He  put  his  walking- 
stick  under  his  arm,  and  rubbed  the  knuckles  of  his 
left  hand  with  rueful  tenderness.  None  the  less  he 
looked  pleased ;  it  was  gratifying  to  a  slight  man  of 
his  sedentary  habit  to  have  knocked  down  such  a 
large,  round  Pomeranian  Briton  with  such  exquisite 
neatness.  Wheeling  their  bicycles,  Erebus  and 
Wiggins  walked  beside  him  with  a  proud  air.  They 
felt  that  they  shone  with  his  reflected  glory.  It 
was  a  delightful  sensation. 

They  had  gone  some  forty  yards,  when  Erebus 


AND  THE  LANDED  PROPRIETOR      151 

said  in  a  hushed,  awed,  yet  gratified  tone :  "  Have 
you  killed  him,  Mr.  Carrington  ?  " 

"  No,  my  child.  I  am  not  a  pork-butcher,"  said 
Mr.  Carrington  amiably. 

"  He  looked  as  if  he  was  dead,"  said  Erebus ;  and 
there  was  a  faint  ring  of  disappointment  in  her  tone. 

"  In  a  short  time  the  young  man  will  come  to 
himself;  and  let  us  hope  that  it  will  be  a  better  and 
wiser  self,"  said  Mr.  Carrington.  "  But  what  was 
it  all  about  ?  What  did  that  truculent  young  ruffian 
want  with  Rupert  ?  " 

Erebus  paused,  looking  earnestly  round  to  the 
horizon  for  inspiration ;  then  she  dashed  at  the 
awkward  subject  with  commendable  glibness :  "It 
was  a  pheasant  in  Great  Deeping  wood,"  she  said. 
"  The  Terror  found  it,  I  suppose.  I  had  gone  on, 
and  I  didn't  see  that  part.  But  it  was  Wiggins  the 
keeper  caught.  Of  course — " 

"  I  beg  your  pardon ;  but  I  should  like  that  point 
a  little  clearer,"  broke  in  Mr.  Carrington.  "  Had 
you  ridden  on  too,  Rupert?  Or  did  you  see  what 
happened  ?  " 

"  Oh,  yes ;  I  was  there,"  said  Wiggins  readily. 
"  And  the  Terror  found  the  pheasant  in  the  wood 


152  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

and  put  it  in  his  bicycle  basket.  And  we  had  just 
got  on  our  bicycles  when  the  keeper  came  out  of 
the  wood,  and  I  ran  into  him;  and  he  collared  me 
and  took  me  up  to  the  Court.  I  wasn't  really  fright- 
ened—  at  least,  not  much." 

"  The  keeper  had  no  right  to  touch  him,"  Erebus 
broke  in  glibly.  "  Wiggins  never  touched  the  pheas- 
ant; he  didn't  even  go  into  the  wood;  and  when  I 
went  into  the  hall,  the  hall  of  the  Court,  I  found 
him  and  the  keeper  sitting  there,  and  I  let  Wiggins 
out,  of  course,  and  then  that  horrid  Mr.  D'Arcy 
Rosenheimer  who  shoots  nightingales,  caught  hold 
of  me  by  the  arm  ever  so  roughly,  and  I  slapped  him 
just  once.  I  should  think  that  the  mark  is  still 
there  " —  her  speed  of  speech  slackened  to  a  slower 
vengeful  gratification  and  then  quickened  again  — 
"  and  he  began  to  thump  me  and  the  footman  in- 
terfered, and  I  came  away,  and  they  came  after  us 
in  the  car,  and  you  saw  what  happened  —  at  least 
you  did  it." 

She  stopped  somewhat  breathless. 

"  Lucidity  itself,"  said  Mr.  Carrington.  "  But 
let  us  have  the  matter  of  the  pheasant  clear.  Was 
the  Terror  exploring  the  wood  on  the  chance  of 


AND  THE  LANDED  PROPRIETOR       153 

finding  a  pheasant,  or  had  he  reason  to  expect  that 
a  pheasant  would  be  there  ready  to  be  brought 
home?" 

Erebus  blushed  faintly,  looked  round  the  horizon 
somewhat  aimlessly,  and  said,  "  Well,  there  was  a 

snare,  you  know." 

i 

Mr.  Carrington  chuckled  and  said :  "  I  thought 
so.  I  thought  we  should  come  to  that  snare  in 
time.  Did  you  know  there  was  a  snare,  Rupert  ?  " 

"  Oh,  no,  he  didn't  know  anything  about  it ! " 
Erebus  broke  in  quickly.  "  We  should  never  have 
thought  of  letting  him  into  anything  so  dangerous! 
He's  so  young!  " 

"  I  shall  be  eleven  in  a  fortnight !  "  said  Wiggins 
with  some  heat. 

"  You  see,  we  wanted  a  fur  stole  at  Barker's  in 
Rowington  for  a  Christmas  present  for  mother ;  and 
pheasants  were  the  only  way  we  could  think  of  get- 
ting it,"  said  Erebus  in  a  confidential  tone. 

"  Light !  Light  at  last !  "  cried  Mr.  Carrington ; 
and  he  laughed  gently.  "  Well,  every  one  has  been 
assaulted  except  the  poacher;  exquisitely  Pomeran- 
ian! But  it's  just  as  well  that  they  have,  or  that 
ingenious  brother  of  yours  would  be  in  a  fine  mess.. 


154  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

As  it  is,  I  think  we  can  go  on  teaching  our  young 
Pomeranian  not  to  be  so  high-spirited."  He 
chuckled  again. 

He  walked  on  briskly;  and  on  the  way  to  Little 
Deeping,  he  drew  from  Erebus  the  full  story  of 
their  poaching.  When  they  reached  the  village  he 
did  not  go  to  his  own  house,  but  stopped  at  the 
garden  gate  of  Mr.  Tupping,  the  lawyer  who  had 
sold  his  practise  at  Rowington  and  had  retired  to 
Little  Deeping.  At  his  gate  Mr.  Carrington  bade 
Erebus  good  afternoon  and  told  her  to  tell  the 
Terror  not  to  thrust  himself  on  the  notice  of  any 
of  Mr.  D'Arcy  Rosenheimer's  keepers  who  might 
be  sent  out  to  hunt  for  the  real  culprit.  He  would 
better  keep  quiet. 

Erebus  mounted  her  bicycle  and  rode  quickly 
home.  She  found  the  Terror  in  the  cats'  home, 
awaiting  her  impatiently. 

"Well,  did  Wiggins  get  away  all  right?"  he 
cried.  "  I  passed  Mr.  Carrington ;  and  I  thought 
he'd  see  that  they  didn't  carry  him  off  again." 

Erebus  told  him  in  terms  of  the  warmest  admira- 
tion how  firmly  Mr.  Carrington  had  dealt  with  the 
Pomeranian  foe. 


AND  THE  LANDED  PROPRIETOR      155 

"By  Jove!  That  was  ripping!  I  do  wish  I'd 
been  there !  "  said  the  Terror.  "  He  only  hit  him 
once,  you  say  ?  " 

"  Only  once.  And  he  told  me  to  tell  you  to  lie 
low  in  case  Mr.  Rosenheimer's  keepers  are  out  hunt- 
ing for  you,"  said  Erebus. 

"  I  am  lying  low,"  said  the  Terror.  "  And  I've 
got  rid  of  that  pheasant.  I  sold  it  to  Mr.  Carring- 
ton's  cook  as  I  came  through  the  village.  I  thought 
it  was  better  out  of  the  way." 

"  Then  that's  all  right.  We  only  want  about  an- 
other half-crown,"  said  Erebus. 

Mr.  Carrington  found  Mr.  Tupping  at  home ;  and 
he  could  not  have  gone  to  a  better  man,  for  though 
the  lawyer  had  given  up  active  practise,  he  still  re- 
tained the  work  of  a  few  old  clients  in  whom  he 
took  a  friendly  interest ;  and  among  them  was  Mrs. 
Dangerfield. 

He  was  eager  to  prevent  the  Terror  from  being 
prosecuted  for  poaching  not  only  because  the  scandal 
would  annoy  her  deeply  but  also  because  she  could 
so  ill  afford  the  expense  of  the  case.  He  readily 
fell  in  with  the  view  of  Mr.  Carrington  that  they 
had  better  take  the  offensive,  and  that  the  violent 


156  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

behavior  of  Mr.  D'Arcy  Rosenheimer  had  given 
them  the  weapons. 

The  result  of  their  council  was  that  not  later  than 
seven  o'clock  that  evening  Mr.  D'Arcy  Rosenheimer 
was  served  by  the  constable  of  Little  Deeping  with 
a  summons  for  an  assault  on  Violet  Anastasia  Dan- 
gerfield,  and  with  another  summons  for  an  assault 
on  Bertram  Carrington,  F.  R.  S. ;  and  in  the  course 
of  the  next  twenty  minutes  his  keeper  was  served 
with  a  summons  for  an  assault  on  Rupert  Carring- 
ton. 

Though  on  recovering  consciousness  he  had  sent 
the  keeper  to  scour  the  neighborhood  for  Wiggins 
and  the  Terror,  Mr.  D'Arcy  Rosenheimer  was  in 
a  chastened  shaken  mood,  owing  to  the  fact  that 
he  had  been  "  put  to  sleep  by  an  uppercut  on  the 
point."  He  made  haste  to  despatch  a  car  into  Row- 
ington  to  bring  the  lawyer  who  managed  his  local 
business. 

The  lawyer  knew  his  client's  unpopularity  in  the 
county,  and  advised  him  earnestly  to  try  to  hush 
these  matters  up.  He  declared  that  however  Pom- 
eranian one  might  be  by  extraction  and  in  spirit, 
no  bench  of  English  magistrates  would  take  a 


AND  THE  LANDED  PROPRIETOR      157 

favorable  view  of  an  assault  by  a  big  young  man 
on  a  middle-aged  higher  mathematician  of  Euro- 
pean reputation,  or  on  Miss  Violet  Anastasia  Dan- 
gerfield,  aged  thirteen,  gallantly  rescuing  that 
higher  mathematician's  little  boy  from  wrongful 
arrest  and  detention. 

Mr.  D'Arcy  Rosenheimer  held  his  aching  head 
with  both  hands,  protested  that  they  had  done  all 
the  effective  assaulting,  and  protested  his  devotion 
to  the  sacred  bird  beloved  of  the  English  magistracy. 
But  he  perceived  clearly  enough  that  he  had  let 
that  devotion  carry  him  too  far,  and  that  a  Bench 
which  never  profited  by  it,  so  far  as  to  shoot  the 
particular  sacred  birds  on  which  it  was  lavished, 
would  not  be  deeply  touched  by  it.  Therefore  he 
instructed  the  lawyer  to  use  every  effort  to  settle 
the  matter  out  of  court. 

The  lawyer  dined  with  him  lavishly,  and  then  had 
himself  driven  over  to  Little  Deeping  in  the  car,  to 
Mr.  Carrington's  house.  He  found  Mr.  Carring- 
ton  uncommonly  bitter  against  his  client;  and  he 
did  his  best  to  placate  him  by  urging  that  the  assault 
had  been  met  with  a  promptitude  which  had  robbed 
it  of  its  violence,  and  that  he  could  well  afford  to 


158  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

be  generous  to  a  man  whom  he  had  so  neatly  put 
to  sleep  with  an  uppercut  on  the  point. 

Mr.  Carrington  held  out  for  a  while;  but  in  the 
background,  behind  the  more  prominent  figures  in 
the  affair,  lurked  the  Terror  with  a  veritable 
poached  pheasant ;  and  at  last  he  made  terms.  The 
summonses  should  be  withdrawn  on  condition  that 
nothing  more  was  heard  about  that  poached  pheasant 
and  that  Mr.  D'Arcy  Rosenheimer  contributed  fifty 
guineas  to  the  funds  of  the  Deeping  Cottage  Hos- 
pital. The  lawyer  accepted  the  terms  readily;  and 
his  client  made  no  objection  to  complying  with 
them. 

The  matter  was  at  an  end  by  noon  of  the  next 
day;  and  Mr.  Carrington  sent  for  the  Terror  and 
talked  to  him  very  seriously  about  this  poaching. 
He  did  not  profess  to  consider  it  an  enormity;  he 
dwelt  at  length  on  the  extreme  annoyance  his  mother 
would  feel  if  he  were  caught  and  prosecuted.  In 
the  end  he  gave  him  the  choice  of  giving  his  word 
to  snare  no  more  pheasants,  or  of  having  his  mother 
informed  that  he  was  poaching.  The  Terror  gave 
his  word  to  snare  no  more  pheasants  the  more 
readily  since  if  Mrs.  Dangerfield  were  informed  of 


AND  THE  LANDED  PROPRIETOR      159 

his  poaching,  she  would  forbid  him  to  set  another 
snare  for  anything.  Besides,  he  had  been  somewhat 
shaken  by  his  narrow  escape  the  day  before.  Only 
he  pointed  out  that  he  could  not  be  quite  sure  of 
never  snaring  a  pheasant,  for  pheasants  went  every- 
where. Mr.  Carrington  admitted  this  fact  and  said 
that  it  would  be  enough  if  he  refrained  from  setting 
his  snares  on  ground  sacred  to  the  sacred  bird.  If 
pheasants  wandered  into  them  on  unpreserved 
ground,  it  was  their  own  fault.  Thanks  therefore 
to  the  firmness  of  her  friends  Mrs.  Dangerfield  never 
learned  of  the  Terror's  narrow  escape. 

The  Twins  bore  the  loss  of  income  from  the 
sacred  bird  with  even  minds,  since  the  sum  needed 
for  the  fur  stole  was  so  nearly  complete.  They 
turned  their  attention  to  the  habits  of  the  hare,  and 
snared  one  in  the  hedge  of  the  farthest  meadow  of 
farmer,  Stubbs.  Mrs.  Blenkinsop's  cook  paid  them 
half-a-crown  for  it;  and  the  three  guineas  were 
complete. 

Though  it  wanted  a  full  week  to  Christmas,  the 
Terror  lost  no  time  making  the  purchase.  As  he 
told  Erebus,  they  would  get  the  choice  of  more  stoles 
if  they  bought  it  before  the  Christmas  rush.  Ac- 


160  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

cordingly  on  the  afternoon  after  the  sale  of  the 
hare  they  rode  into  Rowington  to  buy  it. 

It  was  an  uncommonly  cold  afternoon,  for  a  bitter 
east  wind  was  blowing  hard;  and  when  they  dis- 
mounted at  the  door  of  Barker's  shop,  Erebus  gazed 
wistfully  across  the  road  at  the  appetizing  window 
of  Springer,  the  confectioner,  and  said  sadly : 

"  It's  a  pity  it  isn't  Saturday  and  we  had  our 
'  overseering '  salary.  We  might  have  gone  to 
Springer's  and  had  a  jolly  good  blow-out  for  once." 

The  Terror  gazed  at  Springer's  window  thought- 
fully, and  said :  "  Yes,  it  is  a  pity.  We  ought  to 
have  remembered  it  was  Christmas-time  and  paid 
ourselves  in  advance." 

He  followed  Erebus  into  the  shop  with  a  thought- 
ful air,  and  seemed  somewhat  absent-minded  during 
her  examination  of  the  stoles.  She  was  very 
thorough  in  it;  and  both  of  them  were  nearly  sure 
that  she  had  chosen  the  very  best  of  them.  The 
girl  who  was  serving  them  made  out  the  bill;  and 
the  Terror  drew  the  little  bag  which  held  the  three 
guineas  (since  it  was  all  in  silver  they  had  been 
able  to  find  no  purse  of  a  capacity  to  hold  it), 


emptied  its  contents  on  the  counter,  and  counted 
them  slowly. 

He  had  nearly  finished,  and  the  girl  had  nearly 
wrapped  up  the  stole  when  a  flash  of  inspiration 
brightened  his  face ;  and  he  said  firmly :  "  I  shall 
want  five  per  cent,  discount  for  cash." 

"  Oh,  we  don't  do  that  sort  of  thing  here,"  said 
the  girl  quickly.  "  This  is  such  an  old-established 
establishment." 

"  I  can't  help  that.  I  must  have  discount  for 
cash,"  said  the  Terror  yet  more  firmly. 

The  girl  hesitated;  then  she  called  Mr.  Barker 
who,  acting  as  his  own  shop-walker,  was  strolling 
up  and  down  with  great  dignity.  Mr.  Barker 
came  and  she  put  the  matter  to  him. 

"  Oh,  no,  sir;  I'm  afraid  we  couldn't  think  of  it. 
Barker's  is  too  old  established  a  house  to  connive  at 
these  sharp  modern  ways  of  doing  business,"  said 
Mr.  Barker  with  a  very  impressive  air. 

The  Terror  looked  at  him  with  a  cold  thoughtful 
eye :  "  All  right,"  he  said.  "  You  can  put  the  stole 
down  to  me  —  Master  Hyacinth  Dangerfield,  Colet 
House,  Little  Deeping." 


162  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

He  began  to  shovel  the  money  back  into  the  bag. 

An  expression  of  deep  pain  spread  over  the 
mobile  face  of  Mr.  Barker  as  the  coins  began  to 
disappear;  and  he  said  quickly:  "I'm  afraid  we 
can't  do  that,  sir.  Our  terms  are  cash  —  strictly 
cash." 

"  Oh,  no,  they're  not.  My  mother  has  had  an 
account  here  for  the  last  six  years,"  said  the  Ter- 
ror icily;  and  the  last  of  the  coins  went  into  the 
bag. 

Mr.  Barker  held  out  a  quivering  hand,  and  with 
an  air  and  in  a  tone  of  warm  geniality  he  cried: 
"  Oh,  that  alters  the  case  altogether !  In  the  case 
of  the  son  of  an  old  customer  like  Mrs.  Dangerfield 
we're  delighted  to  deduct  five  per  cent,  discount  for 
cash  —  delighted.  Make  out  the  bill  for  three 
pounds,  Miss  Perkins." 

Miss  Perkins  made  out  the  bill  for  three  pounds ; 
and  Erebus  bore  away  the  stole  tenderly. 

As  the  triumphant  Terror  came  out  of  the  shop, 
he  jingled  the  brave  three  shillings  discount  in  his 
pocket  and  said :  "  Now  for  Springer's !  " 


CHAPTER  VII 
AND  PRINGLE'S  POND 

MRS.  DANGERFIELD  was  indeed  delighted 
with  the  stole,  for  she  had  an  almost  extrav- 
agant fondness  for  furs;  and  it  was  long  since  she 
had  had  any.  She  wondered  how  the  Twins  had 
saved  and  collected  the  money  it  had  cost ;  she  knew 
that  it  had  not  been  drawn  from  the  cats'  home 
fund,  since  the  Terror  had  promised  her  that  none 
of  that  money  should  be  diverted  from  its  proper 
purpose;  and  she  was  the  more  grateful  to  them  for 
the  thought  and  labor  they  must  have  devoted  to 
acquiring  it.  On  the  whole  she  thought  it  wiser 
not  to  inquire  how  the  money  had  been  raised. 

The  Twins,  as  always,  enjoyed  an  exceedingly 
pleasant  Christmas.  It  was  the  one  week  in  the 
year  when  Little  Deeping  flung  off  its  quietude  and 
gently  rollicked.  There  was  a  dearth  of  children, 
young  men  and  maidens  among  their  Little  Deep- 

163 


1 64  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

ing  friends;  and  the  Twins  and  Wiggins  were  in 
request  as  the  lighter  element  in  the  Christmas  gath- 
erings. Thanks  to  the  Terror,  the  three  of  them 
took  this  brightening  function  with  considerable 
seriousness :  each  of  them  learned  by  heart  a  humor- 
ous piece  of  literature,  generally  verse,  for  recit- 
ing; and  they  performed  two  charades  in  a  very 
painstaking  fashion.  They  had  but  little  dramatic 
talent ;  but  they  derived  a  certain  grave  satisfaction 
from  the  discharge  of  this  enlivening  social  duty; 
and  their  efforts  were  always  well  received. 

It  was,  as  usual,  a  green  and  muggy  Christmas. 
The  weather  broke  about  the  middle  of  January; 
and  there  came  hard  frosts  and  a  heavy  snow-storm. 
The  Twins  made  a  glorious  forty-foot  slide  on  the 
common  in  front  of  Colet  House;  and  they  con- 
structed also  an  excellent  toboggan  on  which  they 
rushed  down  the  hill  into  the  village  street.  These 
were  but  light  pleasures.  They  watched  the  ponds 
with  the  most  careful  interest;  eager,  should  they 
bear,  not  to  miss  an  hour's  skating.  Wiggins 
shared  their  pleasures  and  their  interest;  and  Mr. 
Carrington,  meeting  the  Terror  on  his  way  to  his 
lessons  at  the  vicarage,  drew  from  him  a  promise 


AND  PRINGLE'S  POND  165 

that  he  would  not  let  his  ardent  son  take  any  risk 
whatever. 

The  ice  thickened  slowly  on  the  ponds ;  then  came 
another  hard  frost;  and  the  Twins  made  up  their 
minds  that  it  must  surely  bear.  They  ate  their 
breakfast  in  a  great  excitement;  and  as  the  Terror 
gathered  together  his  books  for  his  morning's  work 
they  made  their  plans. 

He  had  strapped  his  books  together;  and  as  he 
caught  up  one  of  the  two  pairs  of  brightly  polished 
skates  that  lay  on  the  table,  he  said :  "  Then 
that's  settled.  I'll  meet  you  at  Pringle's  pond  as 
soon  after  half  past  twelve  as  I  can  get  there;  but 
you'd  better  not  go  on  it  before  I  come." 

"  Oh,  it'll  bear  all  right ;  it  nearly  bore  yester- 
day," said  Erebus  impatiently. 

"  Well,  Wiggins  isn't  to  go  on  it  before  I  come. 
You'll  do  as  you  like  of  course  —  as  usual  —  and 
if  you  fall  in,  it'll  be  your  own  lookout.  But  he's 
to  wait  till  I  come.  If  the  ice  does  bear,  it  won't 
bear  any  too  well;  and  I'm  responsible  for  Wig- 
gins. I  promised  Mr.  Carrington  to  look  after 
him,"  said  the  Terror  in  tones  of  stern  gravity. 

Erebus  tossed  her  head  and  said  in  a  somewhat 


1 66  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

rebellious  tone :  "  As  if  I  couldn't  take  care  of  him 
just  as  well  as  you.  I'm  as  old  as  you." 

"Perhaps,"  said  the  Terror  doubtfully.  "But 
you  are  a  girl;  there's  no  getting  over  it;  and  it 
does  make  a  difference." 

Erebus  turned  and  scowled  at  him  as  he  moved 
toward  the  door ;  and  she  scowled  at  the  door  after 
he  had  gone  through  it  and  shut  it  firmly  behind 
him.  She  hated  to  be  reminded  that  she  was  a  girl. 
The  reminder  rankled  at  intervals  during  her  les- 
sons; and  twice  Mrs.  Dangerfield  asked  her  what 
was  distressing  her  that  she  scowled  so  fiercely. 

At  noon  her  lessons  came  to  an  end;  and  in  less 
than  three  minutes  she  was  ready  to  go  skating. 
She  set  out  briskly  across  the  common,  and  found 
Wiggins  waiting  for  her  at  his  father's  garden-gate. 
He  joined  her  in  a  fine  enthusiasm  for  the  ice  and 
talked  of  the  certainty  of  its  bearing  with  the  most 
hopeful  confidence.  She  displayed  an  equal  con- 
fidence; and  they  took  their  brisk  way  across  the 
white  meadows.  More  than  usual  Wiggins 
spurned  the  earth  and  advanced  by  leaps  and  bounds. 
His  blue  eyes  were  shining  very  brightly  in  the 
cold  winter  sunlight. 


AND  PRINGLE'S  POND  167 

In  ten  minutes  they  came  to  Pringle's  pond.  The 
wind  had  swept  the  ice  fairly  clear  of  snow;  and  it 
looked  smooth  and  very  tempting.  Also  it  looked 
quite  thick  and  strong.  Erebus  stepped  on  to  it 
gingerly,  found  that  it  bore  her,  and  tested  it  with 
some  care.  She  even  jumped  up  and  down  on  it. 
It  cracked,  but  it  did  not  break;  and  she  told  her- 
self that  ice  always  cracks,  more  or  less.  She  set 
about  putting  on  her  skates;  and  the  joyful  Wig- 
gins, all  fear  of  disappointment  allayed,  followed 
her  example. 

When  presently  he  stood  upright  in  them  ready 
to  take  the  ice,  she  looked  at  him  doubtfully,  then 
tossed  her  head  impatiently.  No;  she  would  not 
tell  him  that  the  Terror  had  charged  her  not  to 
let  him  skate  till  he  came.  .  .  .  She  could  look  after 
him  quite  as  well  as  the  Terror.  .  .  .  She  had 
tested  the  ice  thoroughly.  ...  It  was  perfectly 
safe. 

Wiggins  slid  down  the  bank  on  to  the  ice ;  and  she 
followed  him.  The  ice  cracked  somewhat  noisily 
at  their  weight,  and  at  intervals  it  cracked  again. 
Erebus  paid  no  heed  to  its  cracking  beyond  telling 
Wiggins  not  to  go  far  from  the  edge.  She  skated 


i68  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

round  and  across  the  pond  several  times,  then  set- 
tled down  to  make  a  figure  of  eight,  resolved  to 
have  it  scored  deeply  in  the  ice  before  the  Terror 
came.  Wiggins  skated  about  the  pond. 

She  had  been  at  work  some  time  and  had  got  so 
far  with  her  figure  of  eight  that  it  was  already 
distinctly  marked,  when  there  was  a  crash  and  a 
shrill  cry  from  Wiggins.  She  turned  sharply  to  see 
the  water  welling  up  out  of  a  dark  triangular  hole 
on  the  other  side  of  the  pond,  where  a  row  of  pol- 
lard willows  had  screened  the  ice  from  the  full 
keenness  of  the  wind. 

Wiggins  was  in  that  hole  under  the  water. 

She  screamed  and  dashed  toward  it.  She  had 
nearly  reached  it  when  his  head  came  up  above  the 
surface;  and  he  clutched  at  the  ice.  Two  more 
steps  and  a  loud  crack  gave  her  pause.  It  flashed 
on  her  that  if  she  went  near  it,  she  would  merely 
widen  the  hole  and  be  helpless  in  the  water  herself. 

"  Hold  on !  Hold  on !  "  she  cried  as  she  stopped 
-  ten  yards  from  the  hole;  and  then  she  sent  a  shrill 
piercing  scream  from  all  her  lungs  ringing  through 
the  still  winter  air. 

She   screamed   again  and  yet   again.     Wiggins' 


AND  PRINGLE'S  POND  169 

face  rose  above  the  edge  of  the  ice;  and  he  gasped 
and  spluttered.  Then  she  sank  down  gently,  at  full 
length,  face  downward  on  the  ice,  and  squirmed 
slowly,  spread  out  so  as  to  distribute  her  weight 
over  as  wide  a  surface  as  possible,  toward  the 
hole.  Half  a  minute's  cautious  squirming  brought 
her  hands  to  the  edge  of  it;  and  with  a  sob  of  re- 
lief she  grasped  his  wrists.  The  ice  bent  under  her 
weight,  but  it  did  not  break.  The  icy  water,  welling 
out  over  it,  began  to  drench  her  arms  and  chest. 

Very  gently  she  tried  to  draw  Wiggins  out  over 
the  ice;  but  she  could  not.  She  could  get  no  grip 
on  it  with  her  toes  to  drag  from. 

Wiggins'  little  face,  two  feet  from  her  own,  was 
very  white;  and  his  teeth  chattered. 

She  set  her  teeth  and  strove  to  find  a  hold  for  her 
slipping  toes.  She  could  not. 

"  C-c-can't  you  p-p-pull  m-m-me  out  ?  "  chattered 
Wiggins. 

"  No,  not  yet,"  she  said  hoarsely.  "  But  it's  all 
right.  The  Terror  will  be  here  in  a  minute." 

She  raised  her  head  as  high  as  she  could  and 
screamed  again. 

She  listened  with  all  her  ears  for  an  answer.     A 


1 70  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

bird  squeaked  shrilly  on  the  other  side  of  the  field; 
there  was  no  other  sound.  Wiggins'  white  face 
was  now  bluish  round  the  mouth;  and  his  eyes 
were  full  of  fear.  Again  she  kicked  about  for  a 
grip,  in  vain. 

"  It's  d-d-dreadfully  c-c-cold,"  said  Wiggins  in  a 
very  faint  voice;  he  began  to  sob;  and  his  eyes 
looked  very  dully  into  hers. 

She  knew  that  it  was  dreadfully  cold;  her 
drenched  arms  and  chest  were  dreadfully  cold;  and 
he  was  in  that  icy  water  to  his  shoulders. 

"  Try  to  stick  it  out !  Don't  give  in !  It's  only 
a  minute  or  two  longer !  The  Terror  must  come !  " 
she  cried  fiercely. 

His  eyes  gazed  at  her  piteously;  and  she  began 
to  sob  without  feeling  ashamed  of  it.  Then  his 
eyes  filled  with  that  dreadful  look  of  hopeless  be- 
wildered distress  of  a  very  sick  child ;  and  they  rolled 
in  their  sockets  scanning  the  cold  sky  in  desperate 
appeal. 

They  terrified  Erebus  beyond  words.  She 
screamed,  and  then  she  screamed  and  screamed. 
Wiggins'  face  was  a  mere  white  blur  through  her 
blinding  tears  of  terror. 


AND  PRINGLE'S  POND  171 

She  knew  nothing  till  her  ankles  were  firmly 
gripped ;  and  the  Terror  cried  loudly :  "  Stop  that 
row!" 

She  felt  him  tug  at  her  ankles  but  not  nearly 
strongly  enough  to  stir  her  and  Wiggins.  He,  too, 
could  get  no  hold  on  the  ice  with  his  toes. 

Then  he  cried :  "  Squirm  round  to  the  left.  I'll 
help  you." 

He  made  his  meaning  clearer  by  tugging  her 
ankles  toward  the  left;  and  she  squirmed  in  that 
direction  as  fast  as  she  dared  over  the  bending  ice. 

In  less  than  half  a  minute  the  Terror  got  his 
feet  among  the  roots  of  a  willow,  gripped  them 
with  his  toes,  and  with  a  strong  and  steady  pull 
began  to  draw  them  toward  the  bank.  The  ice 
creaked  as  Wiggins'  chest  came  over  the  edge  of 
the  hole;  but  it  did  not  break;  and  his  body  once 
flat  on  the  ice,  the  Terror  hauled  them  to  the  side 
of  the  pond  easily.  He  dragged  Erebus,  still  by 
the  ankles,  half  up  the  bank  to  get  most  of  her 
weight  off  the  ice.  Then  he  stepped  down  on  to  it 
and  picked  up  Wiggins.  Erebus'  stiff  fingers  still 
grasped  his  wrists ;  and  they  did  not  open  easily  to 
let  them  go. 


172  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

The  Terror  took  one  look  at  the  deathly  faintly- 
breathing  Wiggins;  then  he  pulled  off  his  woolen 
gloves,  drew  his  knife  from  his  pocket,  opened  the 
blade  with  his  teeth  for  quickness'  sake,  tossed  it 
to  Erebus  and  cried :  "  Cut  off  his  skates !  Pull 
off  his  boots  and  stockings !  " 

Then  with  swift  deft  fingers  he  stripped  off  Wig- 
gins' coat,  jersey  and  waistcoat,  pulled  on  his  gloves, 
caught  up  a  handful  of  snow  and  began  to  rub  his 
chest  violently.  In  the  spring  the  Twins  had  at- 
tended a  course  of  the  St.  John's  Ambulance  So- 
ciety lectures,  and  among  other  things  had 
learned  how  to  treat  those  dying  from  exposure. 
The  Terror  was  the  quicker  dealing  with  Wiggins 
since  he  had  so  often  been  the  subject  on  which 
he  and  Erebus  had  practised  many  kinds  of  first- 
aid. 

He  rubbed  hard  till  the  skin  reddened  with  the 
blood  flowing  back  into  it.  Erebus  with  feeble 
fumbling  fingers  (she  was  almost  spent  with  cold 
and  terror)  cut  the  straps  of  his  skates  and  the 
laces  of  his  boots,  pulled  them  off,  pulled  off  his 
stockings,  and  rubbed  feebly  at  his  legs.  The  Ter- 
ror turned  Wiggins  over  and  rubbed  his  back  vio- 


AND  PRINGLE'S  POND  173 

lently  till  the  blood  reddened  that.  Wiggins  uttered 
a  little  gasping  grunt. 

Forthwith  the  Terror  pulled  off  his  own  coat 
and  jersey  and  put  them  on  Wiggins ;  then  he  pulled 
off  Wiggins'  knickerbockers  and  rubbed  his  thighs 
till  they  reddened;  then  he  pulled  off  his  stockings 

.- 

and  pulled  them  on  Wiggins'  legs.  The  stockings 
came  well  up  his  thighs;  and  the  Terror's  coat  and 
jersey  came  well  down  them.  Wiggins  was  com- 
pletely covered.  But  the  Terror  was  not  satisfied; 
he  called  on  Erebus  for  her  stockings  and  pulled 
them  on  Wiggins  over  his  own;  then  he  took  her 
jacket  and  tied  it  round  Wiggins'  waist  by  the 
sleeves. 

Wiggins  was  much  less  blue;  and  the  whiteness 
of  his  cheeks  was  no  longer  a  dead  waxen  color. 
He  opened  his  eyes  twice  and  shut  them  feebly. 

The  Terror  shook  him,  and  shouted :  "  Come  on, 
old  chap!  Make  an  effort!  We  want  to  get  you 
home!" 

With  that  he  raised  him  on  to  his  feet,  put  his 
own  cap  well  over  Wiggins'  cold  wet  head,  slipped 
an  arm  round  him  under  his  shoulder,  bade  Erebus 
support  him  in  like  manner  on  the  other  side;  and 


174  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

they  set  off  toward  the  village  half  carrying,  half 
dragging  him  along.  They  went  slowly  for  Wig- 
gins' feet  dragged  feebly  and  almost  helplessly 
along.  Their  arms  round  him  helped  warm  him. 
It  would  have  taken  them  a  long  time  to  haul  him 
all  the  way  to  his  home ;  but  fortunately  soon  after 
they  came  out  of  Pringle's  meadows  on  to  the  road, 
Jakes,  the  Great  Deeping  butcher,  who  supplies  also 
Little  Deeping  and  Muttle  Deeping  with  meat,  came 
clattering  along  in  his  cart.  Wiggins  was  quickly 
hauled  into  it ;  and  the  three  of  them  were  at  Mr. 
Carrington's  in  about  four  minutes. 

As  they  hauled  Wiggins  along  the  garden  path, 
the  Terror  said  to  Erebus :  "  You  bolt  home  as 
hard  as  you  can  go.  You  must  be  awfully  wet  and 
cold ;  and  if  you  don't  want  to  be  laid  up,  the  sooner 
you  take  some  quinine  and  get  to  bed  the  better." 

As  soon  therefore  as  she  had  helped  Wiggins 
over  the  threshold  she  ran  home  as  quickly  as  her 
legs,  still  stiff  and  cold,  would  carry  her. 

The  arrival  of  the  barelegged  Terror  in  his  waist- 
coat, bearing  Wiggins  as  a  half-animate  bundle,  set 
Mr.  Carrington's  house  in  an  uproar.  The  Terror, 
as  the  expert  in  first-aid,  took  command  of  the  cook 


AND  PRINGLE'S  POND  175 

and  housemaid  and  Mr.  Carrington  himself.  Wig- 
gins was  carried  into  the  hot  kitchen  and  rolled  in 
a  blanket  with  a  hot  water  bottle  at  his  feet.  The 
cook  was  for  two  blankets  and  two  hot  water  bottles ; 
but  the  expert  Terror  insisted  with  a  firmness  there 
was  no  bending  that  heat  must  be  restored  slowly. 
As  Wiggins  warmed  he  gave  him  warm  brandy  and 
water  with  a  teaspoon.  In  ten  minutes  Wiggins 
was  quite  animate,  able  to  talk  faintly,  trying  not  to 
cry  with  the  pain  of  returning  circulation. 

The  Terror  sent  the  cook  and  housemaid  to  get 
the  sheets  off  his  bed  and  warm  the  blankets.  In 
another  five  minutes  Mr.  Carrington  carried  Wig- 
gins up  to  it,  and  gave  him  a  dose  of  ammoniated 
quinine.  Presently  he  fell  asleep. 

The  Terror  had  taken  his  coat  off  Wiggins;  but 
he  was  still  without  stockings  and  a  jersey.  He 
borrowed  stockings  and  a  sweater  from  Mr.  Car- 
rington, and  now  that  the  business  of  seeing  after 
Wiggins  was  over,  he  told  him  how  he  had  come 
to  the  pond  to  find  Wiggins  in  the  water  and  Erebus 
spread  out  on  the  ice,  holding  him  back  from  sink- 
ing. He  was  careful  not  to  tell  him  that  he  had 
forbidden  Erebus  to  let  Wiggins  go  on  the  ice ;  and 


176  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

when  Mr.  Carrington  began  to  thank  him  for  sav- 
ing him,  he  insisted  on  giving  all  the  credit  to 
Erebus. 

Mr.  Carrington  made  him  also  take  a  dose  of  am- 
moniated  quinine,  and  then  further  fortified  him 
with  cake  and  very  agreeable  port  wine.  On  his 
way  home  the  Terror  went  briskly  round  by 
Pringle's  pond  and  picked  up  the  skates  and  gar- 
ments that  had  been  left  there.  When  he  reached 
home  he  found  that  Erebus  was  in  bed.  She  seemed 
little  the  worse  for  lying  with  her  arms  and  chest 
in  that  icy  water,  keeping  Wiggins  afloat ;  and  when 
she  learned  that  Wiggins  also  seemed  none  the 
worse  and  was  sleeping  peacefully,  she  ate  her  lunch 
with  a  fair  appetite. 

The  Terror  did  not  point  out  that  all  the  trouble 
had  sprung  from  her  disregard  for  his  instructions ; 
he  only  said :  "  I  just  told  Mr.  Carrington  that 
Wiggins  was  already  in  the  water  when  I  got  to  the 
pond." 

"  That  was  awfully  decent  of  you,"  said  Erebus 
after  a  pause  in  which  she  had  gathered  the  full 
bearing  of  his  reticence. 


CHAPTER  VIII 

AND   THE   MUTTLE  DEEPING   PEACHES 

fT""\HE  dreadful  fright  she  had  suffered  did  not 
JL  throw  a  cloud  over  the  spirit  of  Erebus  for  as 
long  as  might  have  been  expected.  She  was  as  quick 
as  any  one  to  realize  that  all's  well  that  ends  well; 
and  Wiggins  escaped  lightly,  with  a  couple  of  days 
in  bed.  The  adventure,  however,  induced  a  change 
in  her  attitude  to  him ;  she  was  far  less  condescend- 
ing with  him  than  she  had  been;  indeed  she  seemed 
to  have  acquired  something  of  a  proprietary  interest 
in  him  and  was  uncommonly  solicitous  for  his  wel- 
fare. To  such  a  point  did  this  solicitude  go  that 
more  than  once  he  remonstrated  bitterly  with  her 
for  fussing  about  him. 

During  the  rest  of  the  winter,  the  spring  and  the 
early  summer,  their  lives  followed  an  even  tenor: 
they  did  their  lessons;  they  played  their  games; 
then  tended  the  inmates  of  the  cats'  home,  selling 

177 


178  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

them  as  they  grew  big,  and  replacing  the  sold  with 
threepenny  kittens  just  able  to  lap. 

In  the  spring  they  fished  the  free  water  of  the 
Whittle,  the  little  trout-stream  that  runs  through 
the  estate  of  the  Morgans  of  Muttle  Deeping 
Grange.  The  free  water  runs  for  rather  more  than 
half  a  mile  on  the  Little  Deeping  side  of  Muttle 
Deeping;  and  the  Twins  fished  it  with  an  assiduity 
and  a  skill  which  set  the  villagers  grumbling  that 
they  left  no  fish  for  any  one  else.  Also  the  Twins 
tried  to  get  leave  to  fish  Sir  James  Morgan's  pre- 
served water,  higher  up  the  stream.  But  Mr.  Hil- 
ton, the  agent  of  the  estate,  was  very  firm  in  his 
refusal  to  give  them  leave:  for  no  reason  that  the 
Twins  could  see,  since  Sir  James  was  absent,  shoot- 
ing big  game  in  Africa.  They  resented  the  refusal 
bitterly;  it  seemed  to  them  a  wanton  waste  of  the 
stream.  It  was  some  consolation  to  them  to  make  a 
well-judged  raid  one  early  morning  on  the  straw- 
berry-beds in  one  of  the  walled  gardens  of  Muttle 
Deeping  Grange. 

About  the  middle  of  June  the  Terror  went  to 
London  on  a  visit  to  their  Aunt  Amelia.  Sir 
Maurice  Falconer  and  Miss  Hendersyde  saw  to  it 


AND  THE  PEACHES  179 

that  it  was  not  the  unbroken  series  of  visits  to  cats' 
homes  Lady  Ryehampton  had  arranged  for  him; 
and  he  enjoyed  it  very  much.  On  his  return  he  was 
able  to  assure  the  interested  Erebus  that  their  aunt's 
parrot  still  said  "  dam  "  with  a  perfectly  accurate, 
but  monotonous  iteration. 

Soon  after  his  return  the  news  was  spread  abroad 
that  Sir  James  Morgan  had  let  Muttle  Deeping 
Grange.  In  the  life  of  the  Deeping  villages  the 
mere  letting  of  Muttle  Deeping  Grange  was  no  un- 
important event,  but  the  inhabitants  of  Great  Deep- 
ing, Muttle  Deeping  (possibly  a  corruption  of  Mid- 
dle Deeping),  and  Little  Deeping  were  stirred  to 
the  very  depths  of  their  being  when  the  news  came 
that  it  had  been  let  to  a  German  princess.  The 
women,  at  any  rate,  awaited  her  coming  with  the 
liveliest  interest  and  curiosity,  emotions  dashed 
some  way  from  their  fine  height  when  they  learned 
that  Princess  Elizabeth,  of  Cassel-Nassau,  was  only 
twelve  years  and  seven  months  old. 

The  Twins  did  not  share  the  excited  curiosity  of 
their  neighbors.  Resenting  deeply  the  fact  that 
the  tenant  of  Muttle  Deeping  was  a  German 
princess,  they  assumed  an  attitude  of  cold  aloof- 


i8o  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

ness  in  the  matter,  and  refused  to  be  interested  or 
impressed.  Erebus  was  more  resentful  than  the 
Terror;  and  it  is  to  be  suspected  that  the  high 
patriotic  spirit  she  displayed  in  the  matter  was  in 
some  degree  owing  to  the  fact  that  Mrs.  Blenkinsop, 
who  came  one  afternoon  to  tea,  gushing  information 
about  the  grandfathers,  grandmothers,  parents, 
uncles,  cousins  and  aunts  of  the  princess,  ended 
by  saying,  with  meaning,  "  And  what  a  model  she 
will  be  to  the  little  girls  of  the  neighborhood ! " 

Erebus  told  the  Terror  that  things  were  indeed 
come  to  a  pretty  pass  when  it  was  suggested  to  an 
English  girl,  a  Dangerfield,  too,  that  she  should 
model  herself  on  a  German. 

"  I  don't  suppose  it  would  really  make  any  dif- 
ference who  you  modeled  yourself  on,"  said  the 
Terror,  desirous  rather  of  being  frank  than  gram- 
matical. 

When  presently  the  princess  came  to  the  Grange, 
the  lively  curiosity  of  her  neighbors  was  gratified 
by  but  imperfect  visions  of  her.  She  did  not,  as 
they  had  expected,  attend  any  of  the  three  churches, 
for  she  had  brought  with  her  her  own  Lutheran 
pastor.  They  only  saw  her  on  her  afternoon 


AND  THE  PEACHES  181 

drives,  a  stiff  little  figure,  thickly  veiled  against  the 
sun,  sitting  bolt  upright  in  the  victoria  beside  the 
crimson  baroness  (crimson  in  face;  she  wore  black) 
in  whose  charge  she  had  come  to  England. 

They  learned  presently  that  the  princess  had 
come  to  Muttle  Deeping  for  her  health ;  that  she  was 
delicate  and  her  doctors  feared  lest  she  should  de- 
velop consumption;  they  hoped  that  a  few  weeks 
in  the  excellent  Deeping  air  would  strengthen  her. 
The  news  abated  a  little  the  cold  hostility  of  Erebus; 
but  the  Twins  paid  but  little  attention  to  their  young 
neighbor. 

Their  mother  was  rinding  the  summer  trying; 
she  was  sleeping  badly,  and  her  appetite  was  poor. 
Doctor  Arbuthnot  put  her  on  a  light  diet;  and  in 
particular  he  ordered  her  to  eat  plenty  of  fruit.  It 
was  not  the  best  season  for  fruit :  strawberries  were 
over  and  raspberries  were  coming  to  an  end.  Mrs. 
Dangerfield  made  shift  to  do  with  bananas.  The 
Twins  were  annoyed  that  this  was  the  best  that 
could  be  done  to  carry  out  the  doctor's  orders ;  but 
there  seemed  no  help  for  it. 

It  was  in  the  afternoon,  a  sweltering  afternoon, 
after  the  doctor's  visit  that,  as  the  Twins,  bent  on 


182  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

an  aimless  ride,  were  lazily  wheeling  their  bicycles 
out  of  the  cats'  home,  a  sudden  gleam  came  into 
the  eyes  of  the  Terror;  and  he  said: 

"I've  got  an  idea!" 

An  answering  light  gleamed  in  the  eyes  of  Ere- 
bus; and  she  cried  joyfully:  "Thank  goodness! 
I  was  beginning  to  get  afraid  that  nothing  was  ever 
going  to  occur  to  us  again.  I  thought  it  was  the 
hot  weather.  What  is  it?" 

"  Those  Germans,"  said  the  Terror  darkly. 
"  Now  that  they've  got  the  Grange,  why  shouldn't 
we  make  a  raid  on  the  peach-garden.  They  say 
the  Grange  peaches  are  better  than  any  hothouse 
ones;  and  Watkins  told  me  they  ripen  uncommon 
early.  They're  probably  ripe  now." 

"  That's  a  splendid  idea!  It  will  just  teach  those 
Germans !  "  cried  Erebus ;  and  her  piquant  face  was 
bright  with  the  sterling  spirit  of  the  patriot.  Then 
after  a  pause  she  added  reluctantly:  "But  if  the 
princess  is  an  invalid,  perhaps  she  ought  to  have 
all  the  peaches  herself." 

"  She  couldn't  want  all  of  them.  Why  we 
couldn't.  There  are  hundreds,"  said  the  Terror 
quickly.  "And  they're  the  very  thing  for  Mum. 


AND  THE  PEACHES  183 

Bananas  are  all  very  well  in  their  way;  but  they're 
not  like  real  fruit." 

"  Of  course;  Mum  must  have  them,"  said  Erebus 
with  decision.  "  But  how  are  we  going  to  get  into 
the  peach-garden  ?  The  door  in  the  wall  only  opens 
on  the,  inside." 

4 

u  We're  not.  I've  worked  it  out.  Now  you  just 
hurry  up  and  get  some  big  leaves  to  put  the  peaches 
in.  Mum  will  like  them  ever  so  much  better  with 
the  bloom  on,  though  it  doesn't  really  make  any  dif- 
ference to  the  taste." 

Erebus  ran  into  the  kitchen-garden  and  gathered 
big  soft  leaves  of  different  kinds.  When  she  came 
back  she  found  the  Terror  tying  the  landing-net 
they  had  borrowed  from  the  vicar  for  their  trout- 
fishing,  to  the  backbone  of  his  bicycle.  She  put 
the  leaves  into  her  bicycle  basket,  and  they  rode 
briskly  to  Muttle  Deeping. 

The  Twins  knew  all  the  approaches  to  Muttle 
Deeping  Grange  well  since  they  had  spent  several 
days  in  careful  scouting  before  they  had  made  their 
raid  earlier  in  the  summer  on  its  strawberry  beds. 
A  screen  of  trees  runs  down  from  the  home  wood 
along  the  walls  of  the  gardens ;  and  the  Twins,  after 


184  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

coming  from  the  road  in  the  shelter  of  the  home 
wood,  came  down  the  wall  behind  that  screen  of 
trees. 

About  the  middle  of  the  peach-garden  the  Ter- 
ror climbed  on  to  a  low  bough,  raised  his  head  with 
slow  caution  above  the  wall,  and  surveyed  the 
garden.  It  was  empty  and  silent,  save  for  a  curious 
snoring  sound  that  disquieted  him  little,  since  he 
ascribed  it  to  some  distant  pig. 

He  stepped  on  to  a  higher  branch,  leaned  over 
the  wall,  and  surveyed  the  golden  burden  of 
the  tree  beneath  him.  The  ready  Erebus  handed  the 
landing-net  up  to  him.  He  chose  his  peach,  the 
ripest  he  could  see ;  slipped  the  net  under  it,  flicked 
it,  lifted  the  peach  in  it  over  the  wall,  and  lowered 
it  down  to  Erebus,  who  made  haste  to  roll  it  in  a 
leaf  and  lay  it  gently  in  her  bicycle  basket.  The 
Terror  netted  another  and  another  and  another. 

The  garden  was  not  as  empty  as  he  believed. 
On  a  garden  chair  in  the  little  lawn  in  the  middle  of 
it  sat  the  Princess  Elizabeth  hidden  from  him  by  the 
thick  wall  of  a  pear  tree,  and  in  a  chair  beside  her, 
sat,  or  rather  sprawled,  her  guardian,  the  Baroness 
Frederica  Von  Aschersleben,  who  was  following 


AND  THE  PEACHES  185 

faithfully  the  doctor's  instructions  that  her  little 
charge  should  spend  her  time  in  the  open  air,  but 
was  doing  her  best  to  bring  it  about  that  the  practise 
should  do  her  as  little  good  as  possible  by  choosing 
the  sultriest  and  most  airless  spot  on  the  estate  be- 
cause it  was  so  admirably  adapted  to  her  own  com- 
fortable sleeping. 

The  baroness  added  nothing  to  the  old-world 
charm  of  the  garden.  Her  eyes  were  shut,  her 
mouth  was  open,  her  face  was  most  painfully  crim- 
son, and  from  her  short,  but  extremely  tip-tilted 
nose,  came  the  sound  of  snoring  which  the  Terror 
had  ascribed  to  some  distant  pig. 

The  princess  was  warmly  —  very  warmly  — 
dressed  for  the  sweltering  afternoon  and  sweltering 
spot;  little  beads  of  sweat  stood  on  her  brow;  the 
story-book  she  had  been  trying  to  read  lay  face 
downward  in  her  lap;  and  she  was  looking  round 
the  simmering  garden  with  a  look  of  intolerable  dis- 
comfort and  boredom  on  her  pretty  pale  face. 

Then  a  moving  object  came  into  the  range  of  her 
vision,  just  beyond  the  end  of  the  wall  of  pear  tree 
—  a  moving  object  against  the  garden  wall.  She 
could  not  see  clearly  what  it  was;  but  it  seemed  to 


186  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

her  that  a  peach  rose  and  vanished  over  the  top 
of  the  wall.  She  stared  at  the  part  of  the  wall 
whence  it  had  risen;  and  in  a  few  seconds  another 
peach  seemed  to  rise  and  disappear. 

This  curious  behavior  of  English  peaches  so 
roused  her  curiosity  that,  in  spite  of  the  heat,  she 
rose  and  walked  quietly  to  the  end  of  the  wall  of 
pear  tree.  As  she  came  beyond  it,  she  saw,  lean- 
ing over  the  wall,  a  fair-haired  boy.  Even  as  she 
saw  him  something  rose  and  vanished  over  the  wall 
far  too  swiftly  for  her  to  see  that  it  was  a  land- 
ing-net. 

Surprise  did  not  rob  the  Terror  of  his  politeness ; 
he  smiled  amicably,  raised  his  cap  and  said  in  his 
most  agreeable  tone :  "  How  do  you  do  ?  " 

He  did  not  know  how  much  the  princess  had 
seen,  and  he  was  not  going  to  make  admission  of 
guilt  by  a  hasty  and  perhaps  needless  flight,  pro- 
voke pursuit  and  risk  his  peaches. 

"How  do  you  do?"  said  the  princess  a  little 
haughtily,  hesitating.  "  What  are  you  doing  up 
there?" 

"  I'm  looking  at  the  garden,"  said  the  Terror 


AND  THE  PEACHES  187 

truthfully,  but  not  quite  accurately;  for  he  was  look- 
ing much  more  at  the  princess. 

She  gazed  at  him;  her  brow  knitted  in  a  little 
perplexed  frown.  She  thought  that  'he  had  been 
taking  the  peaches;  but  she  was  not  sure;  and  his 
serene  guileless  face  and  limpid  blue  eyes  gave 
the  suspicion  the  lie.  She  thought  that  he  looked 
a  nice  boy. 

He  gazed  at  her  with  growing  interest  and  ap- 
proval —  as  much  approval  as  one  could  give  to  a 
girl.  The  Princess  Elizabeth  had  beautiful  gray 
eyes;  and  though  her  pale  cheeks  were  a  little  hol- 
low, and  the  line  from  the  cheek-bone  to  the  corner 
of  the  chin  was  so  straight  that  it  made  her  face 
almost  triangular,  it  was  a  pretty  face.  She  looked 
fragile ;  and  he  felt  sorry  for  her. 

"This  garden's  very  hot,"  he  said.  "It's  like 
holding  one's  face  over  an  oven." 

"  Oh,  it  is ! "  said  the  princess,  with  impatient 
weariness. 

:'  Yet  there's  quite  a  decent  little  breeze  blowing 
over  the  top  of  the  walls,"  said  the  Terror. 

The  princess   sighed,   and  they  gazed  at   each 


1 88  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

other  with  curious  examining  eyes.  Certainly  he 
looked  a  nice  boy. 

"  I  tell  you  what :  come  out  into  the  wood.  I 
know  an  awfully  cool  place.  You'd  find  it  very  re- 
freshing," said  the  Terror  in  the  tone  of  one  who 
has  of  a  sudden  been  happily  inspired. 

The  princess  looked  back  along  the  wall  of  pear 
tree  irresolutely  at  the  sleeping  baroness.  The  sight 
of  that  richly  crimson  face  made  the  garden  feel 
hotter  than  ever. 

"  Do  come.  My  sister's  here,  .and  it  will  be  very 
jolly  in  the  wood  —  the  three  of  us,"  said  the  Ter- 
ror in  his  most  persuasive  tone. 

The  princess  hesitated,  and  again  she  looked  back 
at  the  sleeping  but  unbeautiful  baroness;  then  she 
said  with  a  truly  German  frankness: 

"  Are  you  well-born  ?  " 

The  Terror  smiled  a  little  haughtily  in  his  turn 
and  said  slowly :  "  Well,  from  what  Mrs.  Blenk- 
insop  said,  the  Dangerfields  were  barons  in  the 
Weald  before  they  were  any  Hohenzollerns.  And 
they  did  very  well  at  Crecy  and  Agincourt,  too," 
he  added  pensively. 


AND  THE  PEACHES  189 

The  princess  seemed  reassured;  but  she  still 
hesitated. 

"  Suppose  the  baroness  were  to  wake  ? "  she 
said. 

A  light  of  understanding  brightened  the  Terror's 
face :  "  Oh,  is  that  the  baroness  snoring  ?  I 
thought  it  was  a  pig,"  he  said  frankly.  "  She 
won't  wake  for  another  hour.  Nobody  snoring  like 
that  could." 

The  assurance  seemed  to  disperse  the  last  doubts 
of  the  princess.  She  cast  one  more  look  back  at  her 
crimson  Argus,  and  said :  "  Very  goot ;  I  will 
coom." 

She  walked  to  the  door  lower  down  the  garden 
wall.  When  she  came  through  it,  she  found  the 
Twins  wheeling  their  bicycles  toward  it.  The  Ter- 
ror, in  a  very  dignified  fashion,  introduced  Erebus 
to  her  as  Violet  Anastasia  Dangerfield,  and  himself 
as  Hyacinth  Wolfram  Dangerfield.  He  gave  their 
full  and  so  little-used  names  because  he  felt  that, 
in  the  case  of  a  princess,  etiquette  demanded  it. 
Then  they  moved  along  the  screen  of  trees,  up  the 
side  of  the  garden  wall  toward  the  wood. 


190  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

The  Twins  shortened  their  strides  to  suit  the 
pace  of  the  princess,  which  was  uncommonly  slow. 
She  kept  looking  from  one  to  the  other  with  curious, 
rather  timid,  pleased  eyes.  She  saw  the  landing- 
net  that  Erebus  had  fastened  to  the  backbone  of 
the  Terror's  bicycle;  but  she  saw  no  connection 
between  it  and  the  vanishing  peaches. 

They  passed  straight  from  the  screen  of  trees 
through  a  gap  into  the  home  wood,  a  gap  of  a  size 
to  let  them  carry  their  bicycles  through  without 
difficulty,  took  a  narrow,  little  used  path  into  the 
depths  of  the  wood,  and  moved  down  it  in  single 
file. 

"  I  expect  you  never  found  this  path,"  said  the 
Terror  to  the  princess  who  was  following  closely 
on  the  back  wheel  of  his  bicycle. 

"  No,  I  haf  not  found  it.  I  haf  never  been  in 
this  wood  till  now,"  said  the  princess. 

"  You  haven't  been  in  this  wood !  But  it's  the 
home  wood  —  the  jolliest  part  of  the  estate,"  cried 
the  Terror  in  the  liveliest  surprise.  "  And  there 
are  two  paths  straight  into  it  from  the  gardens." 

"  But  I  stay  always  in  the  gardens,"  said  the 
princess  sedately.  "  The  Baroness  Von  Ascher- 


AND  THE  PEACHES  191 

sleben  does  not  walk  mooch;  and  she  will  not  that 
I  go  out  of  sight  of  her." 

"  But  you  must  get  awfully  slack,  sticking  in  the 
gardens  all  the  time,"  said  Erebus. 

"  Slack  ?     What  is  slack  ?  "  said  the  princess. 

"  She  means  feeble,"  said  the  Terror.  "  But  all 
the  same  those  gardens  are  big  enough;  there's 
plenty  of  room  to  run  about  in  them." 

"  But  I  do  not  run.  It  is  not  dignified.  The 
Baroness  Von  Aschersleben  would  be  shocked,"  said 
the  princess  with  a  somewhat  prim  air. 

"  No  wonder  you're  delicate,"  said  Erebus,  po- 
litely trying  to  keep  a  touch  of  contempt  out  of  her 
tone,  and  failing. 

"  One  can  not  help  being  delicate,"  said  the  prin- 
cess. 

"  I  don't  know,"  said  the  Terror  doubtfully. 
"  If  you're  in  the  open  air  a  lot  and  do  run  about, 
you  don't  keep  delicate.  Wiggins  used  to  be  deli- 
cate, but  he  isn't  now." 

"  Who  is  Wiggins  ?  "  said  the  princess. 

"  He's  a  friend  of  ours  —  not  so  old  as  we  are 
—  quite  a  little  boy,"  said  Erebus  in  a  patronizing 
tone  which  Wiggins,  had  he  been  present,  would 


192  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

have  resented  with  extreme  bitterness.  "  Besides, 
Doctor  Arbuthnot  told  Mrs.  Blenkinsop  that  if  you 
were  always  in  the  open  air,  playing  with  children 
of  your  own  age,  you'd  soon  get  strong." 

"  That's  what  I've  come  to  England  for,"  said 
the  princess. 

"  I  don't  think  there's  much  chance  of  your  get- 
ting strong  in  that  peach-garden.  It  didn't  feel  to 
me  like  the  open  air  at  all,"  said  the  Terror  firmly. 

"  But  it  is  the  open  air,"  said  the  princess. 

They  came  out  of  the  narrow  path  they  had  been 
following  into  a  broader  one,  and  presently  they 
turned  aside  from  that  at  the  foot  of  a  steep  and 
pathless  bank.  The  Twins  started  up  it  as  if  it 
were  neither  here  nor  there  to  them;  as,  indeed,  it 
was  not. 

But  the  princess  stopped  short,  and  said  in  a 
tone  of  dismay: 

"Am  I  to  climb  this?" 

The  Terror  stopped,  looked  at  her  dismayed  face, 
set  his  bicycle  against  the  trunk  of  a  tree,  and 
said: 

"  I'll  help  you  up." 

With  that,  dismissing  etiquette  from  his  mind,  he 


AND  THE  PEACHES  193 

slipped  his  arm  round  the  slender  waist  of  the 
princess,  and  firmly  hauled  her  to  the  top  of  the 
bank.  He  relieved  her  of  most  of  the  effort  needed 
to  mount  it;  but  none  the  less  she  reached  the  top 
panting  a  little. 

"  You  certainly  aren't  in  very  good  training,"  he 
said  rather  sadly. 

"Training?  What  is  training?"  said  the  prin- 
cess. 

"  It's  being  fit,"  said  Erebus  in  a  faintly  superior 
tone. 

"  And  what  is  being  fit  ?  "  said  the  princess. 

"  It's  being  strong  —  and  well  —  and  able  to  run 
miles  and  miles,"  said  Erebus  raising  her  voice  to 
make  her  meaning  clearer. 

"  You  needn't  shout  at  her,"  said  the  Terror. 

"  I'm  trying  to  make  her  understand,"  said  Erebus 
firmly. 

"  But  I  do  understand  —  when  it  is  not  the  slang 
you  are  using.  I  know  English  quite  well,"  said 
the  princess. 

"You  certainly  speak  it  awfully  well,"  said  the 
Terror  politely. 

He   went   down    the   bank   and   hauled   up   his 


194  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS  ' 

bicycle.  They  went  a  little  deeper  into  the  wood 
and  reached  their  goal,  the  banks  of  a  small  pool. 

They  sat  down  in  a  row,  and  the  princess  looked 
at  its  cool  water,  in  the  cool  green  shade  of  the 
tall  trees,  with  refreshed  eyes. 

"  This  is  different,"  she  said  with  a  faint  little 
sigh  of  pleasure. 

"  Yes ;  this  is  the  real  open  air,"  said  the  Terror. 

"  But  I  do  get  lots  of  open  air,"  protested  the 
princess.  "  Why,  I  sleep  with  my  window  open  — 
at  least  that  much."  She  held  out  her  two  fore- 
fingers some  six  inches  apart.  "  The  baroness  did 
not  like  it.  She  said  it  was  very  dangerous  and 
would  give  me  the  chills.  But  Doctor  Arbuthnot 
said  that  it  must  be  open.  I  think  I  sleep  better." 

"  We  have  our  bedroom  windows  as  wide  open 
as  they'll  go;  and  then  they're  not  wide  enough  in 
this  hot  weather,"  said  Erebus  in  the  tone  of  su- 
periority that  was  beginning  to  sound  galling. 

"  I  think  if  you  took  off  your  hat  and  jacket, 
you'd  be  cooler  still,"  said  the  Terror  rather 
quickly. 

The  princess  hesitated  a  moment ;  then  obediently 
she  took  off  her  hat  and  jacket,  and  breathed  an- 


-    .i^-*r.  •'"  ''>lf! 


"This    is    different,"    she    said 


AND  THE  PEACHES  195 

other  soft  sigh  of  pleasure.  She  had  quite  lost  her 
air  of  discomfort  and  boredom.  Her  eyes  were 
shining  brightly;  and  her  pale  cheeks  were  a  little 
flushed  with  the  excitement  of  her  situation. 

It  is  by  no  means  improbable  that  the  Twins,  as 
well-brought-up  children,  were  aware  that  it  is  not 
etiquette  to  speak  to  royal  personages  unless  they 
first  speak  to  you.  If  they  were,  they  did  not  let 
that  knowledge  stand  in  the  way  of  the  gratification 
of  their  healthy  curiosity.  It  may  be  they 
felt  that  in  the  free  green  wood  the  etiquette  of 
courts  was  out  of  place.  At  any  rate  they  did  not 
let  it  trammel  them;  and  since  their  healthy  curi- 
osity was  of  the  liveliest  kind  they  submitted  the 
princess  to  searching,  even  exhaustive,  interrogation 
about  the  life  of  a  royal  child  at  a  German  court. 

They  questioned  her  about  the  hour  she  rose, 
the  breakfast  she  ate,  the  lessons  she  learned,  the 
walks  she  took,  the  lunch  she  ate,  the  games  she 
played,  her  afternoon  occupations,  her  dolls,  her 
pets,  her  tea,  her  occupations  after  tea,  her  dinner, 
her  occupations  after  dinner,  the  hour  she  went  to 
bed. 

There  seemed  nothing  impertinent  in  their  curi- 


196  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

osity  to  the  princess ;  it  was  only  natural  that  every 
detail  of  the  life  of  a  person  of  her  importance 
should  be  of  the  greatest  interest  to  less  fortunate 
mortals.  She  was  not  even  annoyed  by  their  care- 
lessness of  etiquette  in  not  waiting  to  be  spoken  to 
before  they  asked  a  question.  Indeed  she  enjoyed 
answering  their  questions  very  much,  for  it  was  sel- 
dom that  any  one  displayed  such  a  genuine  interest 
in  her;  it  was  seldom,  indeed,  that  she  found  herself 
on  intimate  human  terms  with  any  of  her  fellow 
creatures.  She  had  neither  brothers  nor  sisters ;  and 
she  had  never  had  any  really  sympathetic  playmates. 
The  children  of  Cassel-Nassau  were  always  awed 
and  stiff  in  her  society;  their  minds  were  harassed 
by  the  fear  lest  they  should  be  guilty  of  some  ap- 
palling breach  of  etiquette.  The  manner  of  the 
Twins,  therefore,  was  a  pleasant  change  for  her. 
They  were  polite,  but  quite  unconstrained;  and  the 
obsequious  people  by  whom  she  had  always  been 
surrounded  had  never  displayed  that  engaging 
quality,  save  when,  like  the  baroness,  they  were 
safely  asleep  in  her  presence. 

But  her  account  of  her  glories  did  not  have  the 
effect  on  her  new  friends  she  looked  for.     As  she 


AND  THE  PEACHES  197 

exposed  more  and  more  of  the  trammeling  net  of 
etiquette  in  which  from  her  rising  to  her  going  to 
bed  she  was  enmeshed,  their  faces  did  not  fill  with 
the  envy  she  would  have  found  so  natural  on  them ; 
they  grew  gloomy. 

At  the  end  of  the  interrogation  Erebus  heaved  a 
great  sigh,  and  said  with  heart- felt  conviction : 

"  Well,  thank  goodness,  I'm  not  a  princess !  It 
must  be  perfectly  awful !  " 

"  It  must  be  nearly  as  bad  to  be  a  prince,"  said 
the  Terror  in  the  gloomy  tone  of  one  who  has 
lost  a  dear  illusion. 

The  princess  could  not  believe  her  ears;  she 
stared  at  the  Twins  with  parted  lips  and  amazed  in- 
credulous eyes.  Their  words  had  given  her  the 
shock  of  her  short  lifetime.  As  far  as  memory 
carried  her  back,  she  had  been  assured,  frequently 
and  solemnly,  that  to  be  a  princess,  a  German 
princess,  a  Hohenzollern  princess,  was  the  most 
glorious  and  delightful  lot  a  female  human  being 
could  enjoy,  only  a  little  less  glorious  and  delight- 
ful than  the  lot  of  a  German  prince. 

"  B-b-but  it's  sp-p-plendid  to  be  a  princess ! 
Everybody  says  so ! "  she  stammered. 


198  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"  They  were  humbugging  you.  You've  just 
made  it  quite  clear  that  it's  horrid  in  every  kind  of 
way.  Why,  you  can't  do  any  single  thing  you  want 
to.  There's  always  somebody  messing  about  you  to 
see  that  you  don't,"  said  Erebus  with  cold  decision. 

"  B-b-but  one  is  a  p-p-princess"  stammered  the 
princess,  with  something  of  the  wild  look  of  one 
beneath  whose  feet  the  firm  earth  has  suddenly  given 
way. 

The  Terror  perceived  her  distress;  and  he  set 
about  soothing  it. 

"You're  forgetting  the  food,"  he  said  quickly 
to  Erebus.  "  I  don't  suppose  she  ever  has  to  eat 
cold  mutton ;  and  I  expect  she  can  have  all  the  sweets 
and  ices  she  wants." 

"Of  course,"  said  the  princess ;  and  then  she  went 
on  quickly :  "  B-b-but  it  isn't  what  you  have  to 
eat  that  makes  it  so  —  so  —  so  important  being  a 
princess.  It's  — " 

"  But  it's  awfully  important  what  you  have  to 
eat !  "  cried  the  Terror. 

"  I  should  jolly  well  think  so !  "  cried  Erebus. 

The  princess  tried  hard  to  get  back  to  the  moral 
sublimities  of  her  exalted  station;  but  the  Twins 


AND  THE  PEACHES  199 

would  not  have  it.  They  kept  her  firmly  to  the 
broad  human  questions  of  German  cookery  and 
sweets.  The  princess,  used  to  having  information 
poured  into  her  by  many  elderly  but  bespectacled 
gentlemen  and  ladies,  was  presently  again  enjoying 
her  new  part  of  dispenser  of  information.  Her 
cheeks  were  faintly  flushed;  and  her  eyes  were 
sparkling  in  an  animated  face. 

In  these  interrogations  and  discussions  the  time 
had  slipped  away  unheeded  by  the  interested  trio. 
The  crimson  baroness  had  awakened,  missed  her 
little  charge,  and  waddled  off  into  the  house  in 
search  of  her.  A  slow  search  of  the  house  and 
gardens  revealed  the  fact  that  she  was  not  in  them. 
As  soon  as  this  was  clear  the  baroness  fell  into  a 
panic  and  insisted  that  the  whole  household  should 
sally  forth  in  search  of  her. 

The  princess  was  earnestly  engaged  in  an  effort 
to  make  quite  clear  to  the  Twins  the  exact  nature 
of  one  of  the  obscure  kinds  of  German  tartlet,  a 
kind,  indeed,  only  found  in  the  principality  of  Cas- 
sel-Nassau,  where  the  keen  ears  of  the  Terror 
caught  the  sound  of  a  distant  voice  calling  out. 

He  rose  sharply  to  his  feet  and  said :     "  Listen ! 


200  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

There's  some  one  calling.  I  expect  they've  missed 
you  and  you'll  have  to  be  getting  back." 

The  princess  rose  reluctantly.  Then  her  face 
clouded;  and  she  said  in  a  tone  of  faint  dismay: 
"  Oh,  dear !  How  annoyed  the  baroness  will  be !  " 

"  You  take  a  great  deal  too  much  notice  of  that 
baroness,"  said  Erebus. 

"  But  I  have  to ;  she's  my  —  my  gouvernante," 
said  the  princess. 

"  I  don't  see  what  good  it  is  being  a  princess,  if 
you  do  just  what  baronesses  tell  you  all  the  time," 
sair  Erebus  coldly. 

The  princess  looked  at  her  rather  helplessly;  she 
had  never  thought  of  rebelling. 

"  I  don't  think  I  should  tell  her  that  you've  been 
with  us.  She  mightn't  think  we  were  good  for 
you.  Some  people  round  here  don't  seem  to  under- 

* 

stand  us,"  said  the  Terror  suavely. 

The  princess  looked  from  one  to  the  other,  hesi- 
tating with  puckered  brow ;  and  then,  with  a  touch 
of  appeal  in  her  tone,  she  said,  "  Are  you  coming 
to-morrow  ?  " 

The  Twins  looked  at  each  other  doubtfully. 
They  had  no  plans  for  the  morrow;  but  they  had 


AND  THE  PEACHES  201 

hopes  that  Fortune  would  find  them  some  more 
exciting  occupation  than  discussing  Germany  with 
one  of  its  inhabitants. 

At  their  hesitation  the  princess'  face  fell  woe- 
fully; and  the  appeal  in  it  touched  the  Terror's 
heart. 

"  We  should  like  to  come  very  much,"  he  said. 

The  face  of  the  princess  brightened;  and  her 
grateful  eyes  shone  on  him. 

"  I  don't  think  I  shall  be  able  to  come,"  said 
Erebus  with  the  important  air  of  one  burdened 
with  many  affairs. 

The  face  of  the  princess  did  not  fall  again;  she 
said:  "  But  if  your  brother  comes?  " 

"  Oh,  I'll  come,  anyhow,"  said  the  Terror. 

The  voice  called  again  from  the  wood  below, 
louder. 

"  Oh,  it  isn't  the  baroness.  It's  Miss  Lambart," 
said  the  princess  in  a  tone  of  relief. 

"  You  take  too  much  notice  of  that  baroness," 
said  Erebus  again  firmly.  "  Who  is  Miss  Lam- 
bart?" 

"  She's  my  English  lady-in-waiting.  I  always 
have  one  when  I'm  in  England,  of  course.  I  like 


202  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

her.  She  tries  to  amuse  me.  But  the  baroness 
doesn't  like  her,"  said  the  princess,  and  she  sighed. 

"  Come  along,  I'll  help  you  down  the  bank  and 
take  you  pretty  close  to  Miss  Lambart.  It  wouldn't 
do  for  her  to  know  of  this  place.  It's  our  secret 
lair,"  said  the  Terror. 

"  I  see,"  said  the  princess. 

They  walked  briskly  to  the  edge  of  the  steep 
bank;  and  he  half  carried  her  down  it;  and  he  led 
her  through  the  wood  toward  the  drive  from  which 
Miss  Lambart  had  called.  As  they  went  he  ad- 
jured her  to  confine  herself  to  the  simple  if  incom- 
plete statement  that  she  had  been  walking  in  the 
wood.  His  last  words  to  her,  as  they  stood  on  the 
edge  of  the  drive,  were : 

"  Don't  you  stand  so  much  nonsense  from  that 
baroness." 

Miss  Lambart  called  again;  the  princess  stepped 
into  the  drive  and  found  her  thirty  yards  away. 
The  Terror  slipped  noiselessly  away  through  the 
undergrowth. 

Miss  Lambart  turned  at  the  sound  of  the  prin- 
cess' footsteps,  and  said :  "  Oh,  here  you  are, 


AND  THE  PEACHES  203 

Highness.  We've  all  been  hunting  for  you.  The 
baroness  thought  you  were  lost." 

"  I  thought  I  would  walk  in  the  wood,"  said  the 
princess  demurely. 

"  It  certainly  seems  to  have  done  you  good. 
You're  looking  brighter  and  fresher  than  you've 
looked  since  you've  been  down  here." 

"  The  wood  is  real  open  air,"  said  the  princess. 


CHAPTER  IX 

AND   THE    CAUSE  OF    FREEDOM 

THE  Terror  returned  to  Erebus  and  found  her 
stretched  at  her  ease,  eating  a  peach. 

"  I  should  have  liked  one  a  good  deal  sooner," 
he  said,  as  he  took  one  from  the  basket.  "  But  I 
didn't  like  to  say  anything  about  them.  She 
mightn't  have  understood." 

"  It  wouldn't  have  mattered  if  she  hadn't,"  said 
Erebus  somewhat  truculently. 

She  was  feeling  some  slight  resentment  that  their 
new  acquaintance  had  so  plainly  preferred  the  Ter- 
ror to  her. 

"  She's  not  a  bad  kid,"  said  the  Terror  thought- 
fully. 

"  She's  awfully  feeble.  Why,  you  had  to  carry 
her  up  this  bit  of  a  bank.  She's  not  any  use  to  us," 
said  Erebus  in  a  tone  of  contempt.  "  In  fact,  if 
we  were  to  have  much  to  do  with  her,  I  expect  we 
should  find  her  a  perfect  nuisance." 

204 


AND  THE  CAUSE  OF  FREEDOM   205 

"  Perhaps.  Still  we  may  as  well  amuse  her  a  bit. 
She  seems  to  be  having  a  rotten  time  with  that  old 
red  baroness  and  all  that  etiquette,"  said  the  Ter- 
ror in  a  kindly  tone. 

"  She  needn't  stand  it,  if  she  doesn't  like  it.  I 
shouldn't,"  said  Erebus  coldly;  then  her  face 
brightened,  and  she  added :  "  I  tell  you  what 
though:  it  would  be  rather  fun  to  teach  her  to 
jump  on  that  old  red  baroness." 

"  Yes,"  said  the  Terror  doubtfully.  "  But  I  ex- 
pect she'd  take  a  lot  of  teaching.  I  don't  think 
she's  the  kind  of  kid  to  do  much  jumping  on  peo- 
ple." 

"  Oh,  you  never  know.  We  can  always  try," 
said  Erebus  cheerfully. 

"  Yes,"  said  the  Terror. 

Warmed  by  this  noble  resolve,  they  moved  quietly 
out  of  the  wood.  It  was  not  so  difficult  a  matter 
as  it  may  sound  to  move,  even  encumbered  by  bi- 
cycles, about  the  home  wood,  for  it  was  not  so  care- 
fully preserved  as  the  woods  farther  away  from 
the  Grange;  indeed,  the  keepers  paid  but  little  at- 
tention to  it.  The  Twins  moved  out  of  it  safely 
and  returned  home  with  easy  minds:  it  did  not 


206  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

occur  to  either  of  them  that  they  had  been  treating 
a  princess  with  singular  firmness.  Nor  were  they 
at  all  troubled  about  the  acquisition  of  the  peaches 
since  some  curious  mental  kink  prevented  them  from 
perceiving  that  the  law  of  meum  and  tuum  applied 
to  fruit. 

Mrs.  Dangerfield  was  presented  with  only  two 
peaches  at  tea  that  afternoon;  and  she  took  it  that 
the  Twins  had  ridden  into  Rowington  and  bought 
them  for  her  there.  When  two  more  were  forth- 
coming for  her  dessert  after  dinner,  she  reproached 
them  gently  for  spending  so  much  of  their  salary 
for  "  overseering  "  on  her.  The  Twins  said  noth- 
ing. It  was  only  when  two  more  peaches  came  up 
on  her  breakfast  tray  that  she  began  to  suspect  that 
they  had  come  by  the  ways  of  warfare  and  not  of 
trade.  Then,  having  already  eaten  four  of  them, 
it  was  a  little  late  to  inquire  and  protest.  More- 
over, if  there  had  been  a  crime,  the  Twins  had 
admitted  her  to  a  full  share  in  it  by  letting  her  eat 
the  fruit  of  it.  Plainly  it  was  once  more  an  oc- 
casion for  saying  nothing. 

On  the  next  afternoon  Erebus  set  out  with  the 
Terror  to  Muttle  Deeping  home  wood  early  enough ; 


AND  THE  CAUSE  OF  FREEDOM  207 

but  owing  to  the  matter  of  a  young  rabbit  who  met 
them  on  their  way,  they  kept  the  princess  waiting 
twenty  minutes.  This  was,  indeed,  a  new  experi- 
ence to  her ;  but  she  did  not  complain  to  them  of  this 
unheard-of  breach  of  etiquette.  She  was  doubtful 
how  the  complaint  would  be  received  at  any  rate 
by  Erebus. 

They  betook  themselves  at  once  to  the  cool  and 
shady  pool;  and  since  the  sensation  was  no  longer 
new  and  startling,  the  princess  found  it  rather 
pleasant  to  be  hauled  up  the  bank  by  the  Terror. 
There  was  something  very  satisfactory  in  his 
strength.  Again  they  settled  themselves  comfort- 
ably on  the  bank  of  the  pool. 

They  were  in  the  strongest  contrast  to  one  an- 
other. Beside  the  clear  golden  tan  of  the  Terror 
and  the  deeper  gipsy-like  brown  of  Erebus  the  pale 
face  of  the  princess  looked  waxen.  The  blue 
linen  blouse,  short  serge  skirt  and  bare  head  and 
legs  of  Erebus  and  the  blue  linen  shirt,  serge  knick- 
erbockers and  bare  head  and  legs  of  the  Terror  gave 
them  an  air  not  only  of  coolness  but  also  of  a 
workmanlike  freedom  of  limb.  In  her  woolen 
blouse,  brown  serge  jacket  and  skirt,  woolen  stock- 


208  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

ings  and  heavily-trimmed  drooping  hat  the  poor 
little  princess  looked  a  swaddled  sweltering  doll 
melting  in  the  heat. 

She  needed  no  pressing  to  take  off  her  jacket  and 
hat;  and  was  pleased  by  the  Terror's  observing 
that  it  was  just  silly  to  wear  a  hat  at  all  when  one 
had  such  thick  hair  as  she.  But  she  was  some  time 
acting  on  Erebus'  suggestion  that  she  should  also 
pull  off  her  stockings  and  be  more  comfortable  still. 

At  last  she  pulled  them  off,  and  for  once  com- 
fortable, she  began  to  tell  of  the  fuss  the  excited 
baroness  had  made  the  day  before  about  her  having 
gone  alone  into  such  a  fearful  and  dangerous  place 
as  the  home  wood. 

"I  tell  you  what:  you've  spoilt  that  baroness," 
said  the  Terror  when  she  came  to  the  end  of  her 
tale ;  and  he  spoke  with  firm  conviction. 

"  But  she's  my  gouvernante.  I  have  to  do  as 
she  bids,"  protested  the  princess. 

"That's  all  rubbish.  You're  the  princess;  and 
other  people  ought  to  do  what  you  tell  them;  and 
no  old  baroness  should  make  you  do  any  silly  thing 
you  don't  want  to.  She  wouldn't  me,"  said  Erebus 


AND  THE  CAUSE  OF  FREEDOM   209 

with  even  greater  conviction  than  the  Terror  had 
shown. 

"  I  don't  think  she  would,"  said  the  princess 
with  a  faint  sigh;  and  she  looked  at  Erebus  with 
envious  eyes.  "  But  when  she  starts  making  a  fuss 
and  gets  so  red  and  excited,  she  —  she  —  rather 
frightens  me." 

"  It  would  take  a  lot  more  than  that  to  frighten 
me,"  said  Erebus  with  a  very  cold  ferocity. 

"  I  rather  like  people  like  that.  I  think  they  look 
so  funny  when  they're  really  red  and  excited,"  said 
the  Terror  gently.  "  But  what  you've  got  to  do  is 
to  stand  up  to  her." 

"  Stand  up  to  her  ?  "  said  the  princess,  puzzled 
by  the  idiom. 

"  Tell  her  that  you  don't  care  what  she  says," 
said  the  Terror. 

"  Cheek  her,"  said  Erebus. 

"  I  couldn't  It  would  be  too  difficult,"  said  the 
princess,  shaking  her  head. 

"Of  course  it  isn't  easy  at  first;  but  you'll  be 
surprised  to  find  how  soon  you'll  get  used  to  shut- 
ting her  up,"  said  the  Terror.  "  But  I  don't  be- 


210  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

lieve  in  cheeking  her  unless  she  gets  very  noisy.  I 
believe  in  being  quite  polite  but  not  giving  way." 

"  She  is  very  noisy,"  said  the  princess. 

"  Oh,  then  you'll  have  to  shout  at  her.  It's  the 
only  way.  But  mind  you  only  have  rows  when 
you're  in  the  right  about  something,"  said  the  Ter- 
ror. "  Then  she'll  soon  learn  to  leave  you  alone. 
It's  no  good  having  a  row  when  you're  in  the 
wrong." 

"  I  think  it's  best  always  to  have  a  row,"  said 
Erebus  with  an  air  of  wide  experience. 

"  Well,  it  isn't  —  at  least  it  wouldn't  be  for  the 
princess  —  she's  not  like  you,"  said  the  Terror 
quickly. 

"  Oh,  no :  not  always  —  only  when  one  is  in 
the  right.  I  see  that,"  said  the  princess.  "  But 
what  should  I  have  a  row  about?" 

The  Twins  puckered  their  brows  as  they  cudgeled 
their  brains  for  a  pretext  for  an  honest  row. 

Presently  the  Terror  said :  "  Why  don't  you 
make  them  let  you  have  some  one  to  play  with? 
It's  silly  being  as  dull  as  you  are.  What's  the  good 
of  being  a  princess,  if  you  haven't  any  friends?  " 

"Oh,  yes!"  cried  the  princess;  and  her  cheeks 


AND  THE  CAUSE  OF  FREEDOM   211 

flushed,  and  her  eyes  sparkled.  "  It  would  be  nice ! 
You  and  Erebus  could  come  to  tea  with  me  and 
sooper  and  loonch  often  and  again !  " 

The  Twins  looked  at  each  other  with  eyes  full 
of  a  sudden  dismay.  It  was  not  in  their  scheme  of 
things  a?  they  should  be  that  they  should  go  to  the 
Grange  in  the  immaculate  morning  dress  of  an 
English  boy  and  girl,  and  spend  stiff  hours  in  the 
presence  of  a  crimson  baroness. 

"That  wouldn't  do  at  all,"  said  the  Terror 
quickly.  "  You  had  better  not  tell  them  anything 
at  all  about  us.  They  wouldn't  let  us  come  to  the 
Grange ;  and  they'd  stop  you  coming  here.  It's  ever 
so  much  nicer  meeting  secretly  like  this." 

"  But  it  would  be  very  nice  to  meet  at  the  Grange 
as  well  as  here,"  said  the  princess,  who  felt  strongly 
that  she  could  not  have  enough  of  this  good 
thing. 

"  It  couldn't  be  done.  They  wouldn't  have  us  at 
the  Grange,"  said  Erebus,  supporting  the  Terror. 

"  But  why  not "? "  said  the  princess  in  surprise. 

"  The  people  about  here  don't  understand  us,"  said 
the  Terror  somewhat  sadly.  "  They'd  think  we 
should  be  bad  for  you." 


212  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"  But  it  is  not  so !  You  are  ever  so  good  to 
me ! "  cried  the  princess  hotly. 

"  It's  no  good.  You  couldn't  make  grown-ups 
see  that  —  you  know  what  they  are.  No;  you'd 
much  better  leave  it  alone,  and  sit  tight  and  meet  us 
here,"  said  the  Terror. 

The  princess  sat  thoughtful  and  frowning  for  a 
little  while ;  then  she  sighed  and  said :  "  Well,  I 
will  do  what  you  say.  You  know  more  about  it." 

"  That's  all  right,"  said  the  Terror,  greatly  re- 
lieved. 

There  was  a  short  silence;  then  he  said  thought- 
fully :  "  I  tell  you  what :  it  would  be  a  good  thing 
if  you  were  to  get  some  muscle  on  you.  Suppose 
we  taught  you  some  exercises.  You  could  prac- 
tise them  at  home;  and  soon  you'd  be  able  to  do 
things  when  you  were  with  us." 

"  What  things  ?  "  said  the  princess. 

"  Oh,  you'd  be  able  to  run  —  and  jump.  Why 
we  might  even  be  able  to  teach  you  to  climb,"  said 
the  Terror  with  a  touch  of  enthusiasm  in  his  tone 
as  the  loftier  heights  of  philanthropy  loomed  upon 
his  inner  vision. 

"  Oh,  that  would  be  nice !  "  cried  the  princess. 


AND  THE  CAUSE  OF  FREEDOM   213 

Forthwith  the  Twins  set  about  teaching  her  some 
of  the  exercises  which  go  to  the  making  of  muscle ; 
and  the  princess  was  a  painstaking  pupil.  In  spite 
of  the  seeds  of  revolt  they  had  sown  in  her  heart, 
she  was  eager  to  get  back  to  the  peach-garden  before 
the  baroness  should  awake,  or  at  any  rate  before  she 
should  have  satisfied  herself  that  her  charge  was 
not  in  the  house  or  about  the  gardens.  The  Terror 
therefore  conducted  her  down  the  screen  of  trees  to 
the  door  in  the  wall.  She  had  left  it  unlatched ;  and 
he  pushed  it  open  gently.  There  was  no  sound  of 
snoring:  the  baroness  had  awoke  and  left  the 
garden. 

"  I  expect  she  is  still  looking  for  me  in  the  house," 
said  the  princess  calmly.  "  They'd  be  shouting  if 
she  weren't." 

;<  Yes.  I  say :  do  you  want  all  these  peaches?  " 
said  the  Terror,  looking  round  the  loaded  walls. 

"Me?  No.  I  have  a  peach  for  breakfast  and 
another  for  lunch.  But  I  don't  care  for  peaches 
much.  It's  the  way  the  baroness  eats  them, 
I  think  —  the  juice  roonning  down,  you  know. 
And  she  eats  six  or  seven  always." 

"  That  woman's  a  pig.     I   thought  she  looked 


214  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

like  one,"  said  the  Terror  with  conviction.  "  But 
if  you  don't  want  them  all,  may  I  have  some  for  my 
mother?  The  doctor  has  ordered  her  fruit;  and 
she's  very  fond  of  peaches." 

"  Oh,  yes ;  take  some  for  your  mother  and  your- 
self  and  Erebus.  Take  them  all,"  said  the  princess 
with  quick  generosity. 

"Thank  you;  but  a  dozen  will  be  heaps,"  said 
the  Terror. 

The  princess  helped  him  gather  them  and  lay 
them  in  a  large  cabbage-leaf;  and  then  they  bade 
each  other  good-by  at  the  garden-gate. 

The  Twins  returned  home  in  triumph  with  the 
golden  spoil.  But  when  she  was  provided  with 
two  peaches  for  seven  meals  in  succession,  Mrs. 
Dangerfield  could  no  longer  eat  them  with  a  mind 
at  ease,  and  she  asked  the  Twins  how  they  came 
by  them.  They  assured  her  that  they  had  been 
given  to  them  by  a  friend  but  that  the  name  of  the 
donor  must  remain  a  secret.  She  knew  that  they 
would  not  lie  to  her;  and  thinking  it  likely  that 
they  came  from  either  the  squire  or  the  vicar,  both 
of  whom  took  an  uncommonly  lively  interest  in  her, 
judging  from  the  fact  that  either  of  them  had 


AND  THE  CAUSE  OF  FREEDOM   215 

asked  her  to  marry  him  more  than  once,  she  went 
on  eating  the  peaches  with  a  clear  conscience. 

The  next  afternoon  the  Twins  devoted  them- 
selves to  strengthening  the  princess'  spirit  with  no 
less  ardor  than  they  devoted  themselves  to 
strengthening  her  body.  They  adjured  her  again 
and  again  to  thrust  off  the  yoke  of  the  baroness. 
The  last  pregnant  words  of  Erebus  to  her  were: 
"  You  just  call  her  an  old  red  pig,  and  see." 

Their  efforts  in  the  cause  of  freedom  bore  fruit 
no  later  than  that  very  evening.  The  princess  was 
dining  with  the  Baroness  Von  Aschersleben  and 
Miss  Lambart;  and  the  baroness,  who  was  ex- 
ceedingly jealous  of  Miss  Lambart,  had  interrupted 
her  several  times  in  her  talk  with  the  princess; 
and  she  had  done  it  rudely.  The  princess,  who 
wanted  to  hear  Miss  Lambart  talk,  was  annoyed. 
They  had  reached  dessert;  and  Miss  Lambart  was 
congratulating  her  on  the  improvement  in  her  ap- 
petite since  she  had  just  made  an  excellent  meal, 
and  said  that  it  must  be  the  air  of  Muttle  Deeping. 
The  baroness  uttered  a  loud  and  contemptuous 
snort,  and  filled  her  plate  with  peaches.  The 
princess  looked  at  her  with  an  expression  of  great 


216  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

dislike.  The  baroness  gobbled  up  one  peach  with 
a  rapidity  almost  inconceivable  in  a  human  being, 
and  very  noisily,  and  was  midway  through  the 
second  when  the  princess  spoke. 

"  I  want  some  children  to  play  with,"  she  said. 

Briskly  and  with  the  sound  of  a  loud  unpleasant 
sob  the  baroness  gulped  down  the  other  half  of  the 
peach,  and  briskly  she  said :  "  Zere  are  no  chil- 
dren in  zis  country,  your  Royal  Highness." 

It  was  the  custom  for  the  princess  to  speak  and 
hear  only  English  in  England. 

"  But  I  see  plenty  of  children  when  I  drive," 
said  the  princess. 

"  Zey  are  nod  children ;  zey  are  nod  'igh  an'  well- 
born," said  the  baroness  in  rasping  tones. 

"  Then  you  must  find  some  high  and  well-born 
children  for  me  to  play  with,"  said  the  princess. 

"  Moost  ?  Moost  ? "  cried  the  baroness  in  a 
high  voice.  "  Bud  eed  ees  whad  I  know  ees  goot 
for  you." 

"  They're  good  for  me,"  said  the  princess  firmly. 
"  And  you  must  find  them." 

The  baroness  was  taken  aback  by  this  so  sudden 
and  unexpected  display  of  firmness  in  her  little 


AND  THE  CAUSE  OF  FREEDOM   217 

charge;  her  face  darkened  to  a  yet  richer  crimson; 
and  she  cried  in  a  loud  blustering  voice :  "  Bud 
eed  ees  eembossible  whad  your  royal  highness  ask! 
Zere  are  no  'igh  an'  well-born  children  'ere.  Zey 
are  een  Loondon." 

"  Well,  you  must  send  for  some,"  said  the 
princess,  who,  having  taken  the  first  step,  was  find- 
ing it  pleasant  to  be  firm, 

"  Moost  ?  Moost  ?  I  do  nod  know  whad  ees 
'appen  to  you,  your  Royal  Highness.  I  say  eed 
ees  eembossible !  "  shouted  the  baroness ;  and  she 
banged  on  the  table  with  her  fist. 

"  But  surely  her  highness'  request  is  a  very 
natural  one,  Baroness ;  and  there  must  be  some  nice 
children  in  the  neighborhood  if  we  were  to  look  for 
them.  Besides,  Doctor  Arbuthnot  said  that  she 
ought  to  have  children  of  her  own  age  to  play 
with,"  said  Miss  Lambart  who  had  been  pitying 
the  lonely  child  and  seized  eagerly  on  this 
chance  of  helping  her  to  the  companionship  she 
needed. 

"  Do  nod  indervere,  Englanderin !  "  bellowed  the 
baroness;  and  her  crimson  was  enriched  with 
streaks  of  purple.  "  I  am  in  ze  charge  of  'er  royal 


218  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

highness;  and  I  zay  zat  she  does  not  wiz  zese  chil- 
dren blay." 

The  fine  gray  eyes  of  the  princess  were  burning 
with  a  somber  glow.  She  was  angry,  and  her 
mind  was  teeming  with  the  instructions  of  her 
young  mentors,  especially  with  the  more  violent  in- 
structions of  Erebus. 

She  gazed  straight  into  the  sparkling  but  blood- 
shot eyes  of  the  raging  baroness,  and  said  in  a 
somewhat  uncertain  voice  but  clearly  enough: 

"Old  — red  — peeg." 

Miss  Lambart  started  in  her  chair;  the  baroness 
uttered  a  gasping  grunt ;  she  blinked ;  she  could  not 
believe  her  ears. 

"  But  whad  —  but  whad  — "  she  said  faintly. 

"  Old  —  red  —  peeg,"  said  the  princess,  some- 
what pleased  with  the  effect  of  the  words,  and  de- 
sirous of  deepening  it. 

"  Bud  whad  ees  eed  zat  'appen  ?  "  muttered  the 
bewildered  baroness. 

"If  you  do  not  find  me  children  quickly,  I  shall 
write  to  my  father  that  you  do  not  as  the  English 
doctor  bids ;  and  you  were  ordered  to  do  everything 
what  the  English  doctor  bids,"  said  the  princess  in 


AND  THE  CAUSE  OF  FREEDOM   219 

a  sinister  tone.  "  Then  you  will  go  back  to  Cas- 
sel-Nassau  and  the  Baroness  Hochfelden  will  be 
my  gouvernante" 

The  baroness  ground  her  teeth,  but  she  trembled ; 
it  might  easily  happen,  if  the  letter  of  the  princess 
found  the  grand  duke  of  Cassel-Nassau  in  the 
wrong  mood,  that  she  would  lose  this  comfortable 
well-paid  post,  and  the  hated  Baroness  Hochfelden 
take  it. 

"  Bud  zere  are  no  'igh  an'  well-born  children, 
your  Royal  Highness,"  she  said  in  a  far  gentler, 
apologetic  voice. 

The  princess  frowned  at  her  and  said :  "  Mees 
Lambart  will  find  them.  Is  it  not,  Mees  Lam- 
bart?" 

"  I  shall  be  charmed  to  try,  Highness,"  said  Miss 
Lambart  readily. 

"  Do  nod  indervere !  I  veel  zose  childen  vind 
myzelf !  "  snapped  the  baroness. 

The  princess  rose,  still  quivering  a  little  from  the 
conflict,  but  glowing  with  the  joy  of  victory.  At 
the  door  she  paused  to  say: 

"  And  I  want  them  soon  —  at  once." 

Then,  though  the  baroness  had  many  times  for- 


220  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

bidden  her  to  tempt  the  night  air,  she  went  firmly 
out  into  the  garden.  The  next  morning  at  break- 
fast she  again  demanded  children  to  play  with. 

Accordingly  when  Doctor  Arbuthnot  paid  his 
visit  that  morning,  the  baroness  asked  him  what 
children  in  the  neighborhood  could  be  invited  to 
come  to  play  with  the  princess.  She  only  stipu- 
lated that  they  should  be  high  and  well-born. 

"  Well,  of  course  the  proper  children  to  play  with 
her  would  be  the  Twins  —  Mrs.  Dangerfield's  boy 
and  girl.  They're  high  and  well-born  enough. 
But  I  doubt  that  they  could  be  induced  to  play  with 
a  little  girl.  They're  independent  young  people. 
Besides,  I'm  not  at  all  sure  that  they  would  be  quite 
the  playmates  for  a  quiet  princess.  It  would 
hardly  do  to  expose  an  impressionable  child  like  the 
princess  to  such  —  er  —  er  ardent  spirits.  You 
might  have  her  developing  a  spirit  of  freedom ;  and 
you  wouldn't  like  that." 

"  Mem  Gott,  no ! "  said  the  baroness  with  warm 
conviction. 

"  Then  there's  Wiggins  —  Rupert  Carrington. 
He's  younger  and  quieter  but  active  enough.  He'd 
soon  teach  her  to  run  about." 


AND  THE  CAUSE  OF  FREEDOM   221 

"But  is  he  well-born?"  said  the  careful 
baroness. 

"Well-born?  He's  a  Carrington,"  said  Doctor 
Arbuthnot  with  an  impressive  air  that  concealed 
well  his  utter  ignorance  of  the  ancestry  of  the 
higher  mathematician. 

The  baroness  accepted  Wiggins  gloomily.  When 
the  princess,  who  had  hoped  for  the  Twins,  heard 
that  he  had  been  chosen,  she  accepted  him  with 
resignation.  Doctor  Arbuthnot  undertook  to  ar- 
range the  matter. 

The  disappointed  princess  informed  the  Twins 
of  the  election  of  Wiggins;  and  they  cheered  her 
by  reporting  favorably  on  the  qualifications  of 
their  friend,  though  Erebus  said  somewhat  sadly : 

"  Of  course,  he'll  insist  on  being  an  Indian  chief 
and  scalping  you;  he  always  does.  But  you 
mustn't  mind  that" 

The  princess  thought  that  she  would  not  mind 
it;  it  would  at  any  rate  be  a  change  from  listening 
monotonously  to  the  snores  of  the  baroness. 

The  Twins  found  it  much  more  difficult  to  com- 
fort and  cheer  their  fair-haired,  freckled,  but  in- 
furiated friend.  Not  only  was  his  reluctance  to 


222  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

don  the  immaculate  morning  dress  of  an  English 
young  gentleman  for  the  delectation  of  foreign 
princesses  every  whit  as  sincere  as  their  own,  but 
he  felt  the  invitation  to  play  with  a  little  girl  far 
more  insulting  than  they  would  have  done.  They 
did  their  best  to  soothe  him  and  make  things  pleas- 
ant for  the  princess,  pointing  out  to  him  the  rich- 
ness of  the  teas  he  would  assuredly  enjoy,  and 
impressing  on  him  the  fact  that  he  would  be  per- 
forming a  noble  charitable  action. 

"  Yes ;  that's  all  very  well,"  said  Wiggins 
gloomily.  "  But  I've  been  seeing  ever  such  a  little 
of  you  lately  in  the  afternoons;  and  now  I  shall 
see  less  than  ever." 

Naturally,  he  was  at  first  somewhat  stiff  with 
the  princess;  but  the  stiffness  did  not  last;  they  be- 
came very  good  active  friends;  and  he  scalped  her 
with  gratifying  frequency.  In  this  way  it  came 
about  that,  in  the  matter  of  play,  the  princess  led 
a  double  life.  She  spent  the  early  part  of  the  after- 
noon in  the  wood  with  the  Twins;  and  from  tea 
till  the  dressing-bell  for  dinner  rang  she  enjoyed 
the  society  of  Wiggins.  She  told  no  one  of  her 
friendship  with  the  Twins;  and  Wiggins  was  sur- 


AND  THE  CAUSE  OF  FREEDOM   223 

prised  by  her  eagerness  to  hear  everything  about 
them  he  could  tell.  Between  them  she  was  begin- 
ning to  acquire  cheerfulness  and  muscle;  and  she 
was  losing  her  air  of  delicacy,  but  not  at  a  rate 
that  satisfied  the  exigent  Terror. 


CHAPTER  X 

AND  THE  ENTERTAINMENT  OF  ROYALTY 

THE  time  had  come  for  the  Twins  to  take  their 
annual  change  of  air.  They  took  that  change 
at  but  a  short  distance  from  their  home,  since  the 
cost  of  a  visit  to  the  sea  was  more  than  their  mother 
could  afford.  They  were  allowed  to  encamp  for 
ten  days,  if  the  weather  were  fine,  in  the  dry  sand- 
stone caves  of  Deeping  Knoll,  which  rises  in  the 
middle  of  Little  Deeping  wood,  the  property  of 
Mr.  Anstruther. 

Kind-hearted  as  the  Twins  were,  they  felt  that 
to  make  the  journey  from  the  knoll  to  Muttle 
Deeping  home  wood  was  beyond  the  bounds  of 
philanthropy;  and  they  broke  the  news  to  the 
princess  as  gently  as  they  could.  She  was  so 
deeply  grieved  to  learn  that  she  was  no  longer 
going  to  enjoy  their  society  that,  in  spite  of  the 
fact  that  she  had  been  made  well  aware  that  they 
despised  and  abhorred  tears,  she  was  presently 

224 


AND  ROYALTY  225 

weeping.  She  was  ashamed;  but  she  could  not 
help  it.  The  compassionate  Twins  compromised; 
they  promised  her  that  they  would  try  to  come 
every  third  afternoon;  and  with  that  she  had  to 
be  content. 

None  the  less  on  the  eve  of  their  departure  she 
was  deploring  bitterly  the  fact  that  she  would  not 
see  them  on  the  morrow,  when  the  Terror  was 
magnificently  inspired. 

"  Look  here :  why  shouldn't  you  come  with  us 
into  camp?"  he  said  eagerly.  "A  week  of  it 
would  buck  you  up  more  than  a  month  at  the 
Grange.  You  really  do  get  open  air  camping  out 
at  the  knoll." 

The  face  of  the  princess  flushed  and  brightened 
at  the  splendid  thought.  Then  it  fell;  and  she 
said :  "  They'd  never  let  me  —  never." 

"  But  you'd  never  ask  them,"  said  the  Terror. 
"  You'd  just  slip  away  and  come  with  us.  We've 
kept  our  knowing  you  so  dark  that  they'd  never 
dream  you  were  with  us  in  the  knoll  caves." 

The  princess  was  charmed,  even  dazzled,  by  the 
glorious  prospect.  She  had  come  to  feel  strongly 
that  by  far  the  best  part  of  her  life  was  the  after- 


226  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

noons  she  spent  with  the  Twins  in  the  wood ;  whole 
days  with  them  would  be  beyond  the  delight  of 
dreams.  But  to  her  unadventured  soul  the  difficul- 
ties seemed  beyond  all  surmounting.  The  Twins, 
however,  were  used  to  surmounting  difficulties, 
and  at  once  they  began  surmounting  these. 

"  The  difficult  thing  is  not  to  get  you  there,  but 
to  keep  you  there,"  said  the  Terror  thoughtfully. 
"  You  see,  I've  got  to  go  down  every  day  for  milk 
and  things,  and  they're  sure  to  ask  me  if  I've  seen 
anything  of  you.  Of  course,  I  can't  lie  about  it; 
and  then  they'll  not  only  take  you  away,  but  they'll 
probably  turn  us  out  of  the  caves." 

"  That's  the  drawback,"  said  Erebus. 

The  Twins  gazed  round  the  wood  seeking  en- 
lightenment. A  deep  frown  furrowed  the  Ter- 
ror's brow ;  and  he  said :  "  If  only  you  weren't 
a  princess  they  wouldn't  make  half  such  a  fuss 
hunting  for  you,  and  I  might  never  be  asked  any- 
thing about  you." 

"  I  should  have  to  come  to  the  camp  incognita, 
of  course,"  said  the  princess. 

The  Terror  looked  puzzled  for  a  moment;  then 
his  face  cleared  into  a  glorious  smile,  and  he  cried : 


AND  ROYALTY  227 

"  By  Jove !  Of  course  you  would !  I  never 
thought  of  that!  Why,  you'd  be  some  one  else  and 
not  the  princess  at  all!  We  shouldn't  know  where 
the  princess  was  if  we  were  asked." 

"  Of  course  we  shouldn't !  "  said  Erebus,  per- 
ceiving the  advantage  of  this  ignorance. 

"  I  generally  am  the  Baroness  von  Zwettel  when 
I  travel,"  said  the  princess. 

The  Terror  considered  the  matter,  again  frown- 
ing thoughtfully :  "  I  suppose  you  have  to  have  a 
title.  But  I  think  an  English  one  would  be  best 
here :  Lady  Rowington  now.  No  one  would  ever 
ask  us  where  Lady  Rowington  is,  because  there 
isn't  any  Lady  Rowington." 

"  Oh,  yes  :  Lady  Rowington  —  I  would  wish  an 
English  title,"  said  the  princess  readily. 

"If  we  could  only  think  of  some  way  of  mak- 
ing them  think  that  she'd  been  stolen  by  gipsies,  it 
would  be  safer  still,"  said  Erebus. 

"  Gipsies  don't  steal  children  nowadays,"  said 
the  Terror;  and  he  paused  considering.  Then  he 
added,  "  I  tell  you  what  though :  Nihilists  would 
—  at  least  they'd  steal  a  princess.  Are  there  any 
Nihilists  in  Cassel-Nassau  ?  " 


228  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"  I  never  heard  of  any,"  said  the  princess. 
"  There  are  thousands  of  Socialists." 

"  Socialists  will  do,"  said  the  Terror  cheerfully. 

They  were  quick  in  deciding  that  the  princess 
should  not  join  them  till  the  second  night  of  their 
stay  in  camp,  to  give  them  time  to  have  everything 
in  order.  Then  they  discussed  her  needs.  She 
could  not  bring  away  with  her  any  clothes,  or  it 
would  be  plain  that  she  had  not  been  stolen.  She 
must  share  the  wardrobe  of  Erebus. 

"  But,  no.  I  have  money,"  said  the  princess, 
thrusting  her  hand  into  her  pocket.  "  Will  you 
not  buy  me  clothes  ?  " 

She  drew  out  a  little  gold  chain  purse  with  five 
sovereigns  in  it,  and  handed  it  to  the  Terror.  He 
and  Erebus  examined  it  with  warm  admiration,  for 
it  was  indeed  a  pretty  purse. 

"  We  should  have  had  to  buy  you  a  bathing-dress, 
anyhow.  There's  a  pool  just  under  the  knoll,"  said 
the  Terror.  "  How  much  shall  we  want,  Erebus?  " 

"  You'd  better  have  two  pounds  and  be  on  the 
safe  side,"  said  Erebus. 

The  Terror  transferred  two  sovereigns  from  the 
purse  of  the  princess  to  his  own.  Then  he  ar- 


AND  ROYALTY  229 

ranged  that  she  should  meet  him  outside  the  door 
of  the  peach-garden  at  nine  o'clock,  or  thereabouts 
at  night.  He  would  wait  half  an  hour  that  she 
might  not  have  to  hurry  and  perhaps  arouse  the 
suspicion  that  she  had  gone  of  her  own  free  will. 
He  made  several  suggestions  about  the  manner  of 
her  escape. 

When  she  left  them,  they  rode  straight  to  Row- 
ington  and  set  about  purchasing  her  outfit.  They 
bought  a  short  serge  skirt,  two  linen  shirts,  a  blue 
jersey  against  the  evening  chill,  a  cap,  sandals, 
stockings,  underclothing  and  a  bathing-dress. 
They  carried  the  parcels  home  on  their  bicycles. 
When  she  saw  them  on  their  arrival  Mrs.  Danger- 
field  supposed  that  they  were  parts  of  their  own 
equipment. 

That  evening  the  Terror  worked  hard  at  his  in- 
genious device  for  throwing  the  searchers  off  the 
scent.  It  was: 


23o  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

He  went  to  bed  much  pleased  with  his  handi- 
work. 

They  spent  a  busy  morning  carrying  their  camp- 
ing outfit  to  Deeping  Knoll.  The  last  i;wo  hundred 
yards  of  path  to  it  was  very  narrow  so  that  they 
transported  their  belongings  to  the  entrance  to  it  in 
Tom  Cobb's  donkey-cart,  and  carried  them  up  to 
the  knoll  on  their  backs. 

In  other  years  their  outfit  had  been  larger,  for 
their  mother  had  encamped  with  them.  This  year 
she  had  not  cared  for  the  effort;  and  she  had  also 
felt  that  ten  days'  holiday  out  of  the  strenuous  at- 
mosphere which  spread  itself  round  the  Twins, 
would  be  restful  and  pleasant.  She  was  sure  that 
they  might  quite  safely  be  trusted  to  encamp  by 
themselves  on  Deeping  Knoll.  Not  only  were  they 
of  approved  readiness  and  resource;  but  buried  in 
the  heart  of  that  wood,  they  were  as  safe  from  the 
intrusion  of  evil-doers  as  on  some  desert  South  Sea 
isle.  She  was  somewhat  surprised  by  the  Terror's 
readiness  to  take  as  many  blankets  as  she  suggested. 
In  other  years  he  had  been  disposed  to  grumble  at 
the  number  she  thought  necessary. 

The  Twins  had  carried  their  outfit  to  the  knoll 


AND  ROYALTY  231 

by  lunch-time;  and  they  lunched,  or  rather  dined, 
with  a  very  good  appetite.  Then  they  began  to 
arrange  their  belongings,  which  they  had  piled  in  a 
heap  as  they  brought  them  up,  in  their  proper  caves. 
With  a  break  of  an  hour  for  a  bath  this  occupied 
them  till  tea-time.  After  tea  they  bathed  again 
and  then  set  about  collecting  fuel  from  the  wood. 
They  were  too  tired  to  spend  much  time  on  cook- 
ing their  supper;  and  soon  after  it,  rolled  in  their 
blankets  on  beds  of  bracken,  they  were  sleeping  like 
logs.  They  were  up  betimes,  bathing. 

This  day  was  far  less  strenuous  than  the  day 
before.  They  spent  most  of  it  in  the  pool  or  on 
its  bank.  In  the  afternoon  Wiggins  came  and  did 
not  leave  them  till  seven.  Soon  after  eight  o'clock 
the  Terror  set  out  to  keep  his  tryst  with  the 
princess.  He  took  with  him  the  Socialist  mani- 
festo and  pinned  it  to  the  post  of  a  wicket  gate 
opening  from  the  gardens  into  the  park  on  the  op- 
posite side  of  the  Grange  to  Deeping  Knoll.  Then 
he  came  round  to  the  door  in  the  peach-garden 
wall  two  or  three  minutes  before  the  clock  over  the 
stables  struck  nine. 

He  had  not  long  to  wait;  he  heard  the  gentle 


232  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

footfall  of  the  princess  on  the  garden  path,  the 
door  opened,  and  she  came  through  it.  He  shook 
hands  with  her  warmly;  and  as  they  went  up  the 
screen  of  trees  she  told  him  how  she  had  bidden 
the  baroness  and  Miss  Lambart  good  night,  gone 
to  her  bedroom,  ruffled  the  bed,  locked  the  door, 
and  slipped,  unseen,  down  the  stairs  and  out  of  the 
house.  He  praised  her  skill;  and  she  found  his 
praise  very  grateful. 

The  path  to  the  knoll  lay  all  the  way  through  the 
dark  woods;  and  the  princess  found  them  daunt- 
ing. They  were  full  of  strange  noises,  many  of 
them  eery-sounding;  and  in  the  dimness  strange 
terrifying  shapes  seemed  to  move.  The  Terror 
was  not  long  discovering  her  fear,  and  forthwith 
put  his  arm  round  her  waist  and  kept  it  there  wher- 
ever the  path  was  broad  enough  to  allow  it.  When 
she  quivered  to  some  woodland  sound,  he  told  her 
what  it  was  and  eased  her  mind. 

She  was  not  strong  enough  in  spite  of  her  ex- 
ercises and  the  active  games  with  Wiggins,  to  make 
the  whole  of  the  journey  over  that  rough  ground  at 
a  stretch ;  and  twice  when  he  felt  her  flagging  they 
sat  down  and  rested.  The  princess  was  no  longer 


AND  ROYALTY  233 

frightened;  she  still  thrilled  to  the  eeriness  of  the 
woods,  but  she  felt  quite  safe  with  the  Terror. 
When  they  rested  she  snuggled  up  against  him, 
stared  before  her  into  the  dark,  and  thought  of  all 
the  heroes  wandering  through  the  forests  of 
Grimm,  with  the  sense  of  adventure  very  strong  on 
her.  She  was  almost  sorry  when  they  came  at  last 
to  the  foot  of  the  knoll  and  saw  its  top  red  in  the 
glow  of  the  fire  Erebus  was  keeping  bright. 

Also  Erebus  had  hot  cocoa  ready  for  them;  and 
after  her  tiring  journey  the  princess  found  it  grate- 
ful indeed.  They  sat  for  a  while  in  a  row  before 
the  glowing  fire,  talking  of  the  Hartz  Mountains, 
which  the  princess  had  visited.  But  soon  the 
yawns  which  she  could  not  repress  showed  her  hosts 
how  sleepy  she  was,  and  the  Terror  suggested  that 
she  should  go  to  bed. 

With  true  courtesy,  the  Twins  had  given  her  the 
best  sleeping-cave  to  herself,  but  she  displayed  such 
a  terrified  reluctance  to  sleep  in  it  alone,  that  her 
couch  of  bracken  and  her  blankets  were  moved  into 
the  cave  of  Erebus.  After  the  journey  and  the 
excitement  she  was  not  long  falling  into  a  dream- 
less sleep. 


234  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

When  she  awoke  next  morning,  she  found  the 
Terror  gone  to  fetch  milk.  Erebus  conducted  her 
down  to  the  pool  for  her  morning  bath.  The 
princess  did  not  like  it  (she  had  had  no  experi- 
ence of  cold  baths)  but  under  the  eye  of  Erebus 
she  could  not  shrink;  and  in  she  went.  She  came 
out  shivering,  but  Erebus  helped  rub  her  to  a  warm 
glow,  and  she  came  to  breakfast  with  such  an  ap- 
petite as  she  had  never  before  in  her  life  enjoyed. 

The  knoll  was  indeed  the  ideal  camping-ground 
for  the  romantic;  the  caves  with  which  it  was 
honeycombed  lent  themselves  to  a  score  of  games 
of  adventure;  and  the  princess  soon  found  that  she 
had  been  called  to  an  active  life.  It  began  directly 
after  breakfast  with  dish-washing;  after  that  she 
was  breathless  for  an  hour  in  two  excited  games 
both  of  which  meant  running  through  the  caves 
and  round  and  over  the  knoll  as  hard  as  you  could 
run  and  at  short  intervals  yelling  as  loud  as  you 
could  yell.  After  this  they  put  on  their  bathing- 
dresses  and  disported  themselves  in  the  pool  till  it 
was  time  to  set  about  the  serious  business  of  cook- 
ing the  dinner,  which  they  took  soon  after  one 
o'clock. 


n^y*r?i/*M  < 

She  was  almost  sorry  when  they  came  at  last  to  the  foot  of  the  knoll 


AND  ROYALTY  235 

The  Terror  kept  a  careful  and  protective  eye  on 
the  princess,  helping  her,  for  the  most  part  vig- 
orously, to  cover  the  ground  at  the  required  speed. 
Also  he  turned  her  out  of  the  pool,  to  dry  and 
dress,  a  full  half-hour  before  he  and  Erebus  left  it. 
After  dinner  the  princess  was  so  sleepy  that  she 
could  hardly  keep  her  eyes  open;  and  the  Terror 
insisted  that  she  should  lie  down  for  an  hour.  She 
protested  that  she  did  not  want  to  rest,  that  she 
did  not  want  to  lose  a  moment  of  this  glorious  life; 
but  presently  she  yielded  and  was  soon  asleep. 

They  were  expecting  Wiggins  in  the  afternoon. 
But  he  could  be  admitted  safely  into  the  secret, 
since,  once  he  knew  that  the  princess  had  become 
Lady  Rowington,  he  would  be  able  with  sufficient 
truthfulness  to  profess  an  entire  ignorance  of  her 
whereabouts.  Also  he  would  be  very  useful,  for 
he  could  bring  them  word  if  suspicion  had  fallen 
on  them. 

At  about  half  past  two  he  arrived,  bringing  a 
great  tale  of  the  excitement  of  the  countryside  at 
the  kidnaping  of  the  princess.  So  far  its  simple- 
minded  inhabitants  and  the  suite  of  the  princess 
were  Content  with  the  socialist  explanation  of  her 


236  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

disappearance;  and  three  counties  round  were  being 
searched  by  active  policemen  on  bicycles  for  some 
one  who  had  seen  a  suspicious  motor-car  contain- 
ing Socialists  and  a  princess.  It  was  the  general 
belief  that  she  had  been  chloroformed  and  abducted 
through  her  bedroom  window. 

With  admirable  gravity  the  Twins  discussed  with 
Wiggins  the  probabilities  of  their  success  and  of 
the  recovery  of  the  princess,  the  routes  by  which 
the  Socialists  might  have  carried  her  off,  and  the 
towns  in  which  the  lair  to  which  they  had  taken 
her  might  be.  At  the  end  of  half  an  hour  of  it  the 
princess  came  out  of  her  cave,  her  eyes,  very  bright 
with  sleep,  blinking  in  the  sunlight. 

Wiggins  cried  out  in  surprise;  and  the  Twins 
laughed  joyfully. 

Wiggins  greeted  the  princess  politely;  and  then 
he  said  reproachfully :  "  You  might  have  told  me 
that  she  was  coming  here." 

"  You  ought  to  have  known  as  soon  as  you 
heard  she  was  missing,"  said  Erebus  sternly. 

"  So  I  should,  if  I'd  known  you  knew  her  at 
all,"  said  Wiggins. 


AND  ROYALTY  237 

"  That's  what  nobody  knows,''  said  Erebus 
triumphantly. 

"  And  look  here :  she's  here  incognita,"  said 
the  Terror.  "  She's  taken  the  traveling  name  of 
Lady  Rowington;  and  she's  not  the  princess  at  all. 
So  if  you're  asked  if  the  princess  is  here,  you 
can  truthfully  say  she  isn't." 

"  Of  course  —  I  see.  This  is  a  go!  "  said  Wig- 
gins cheerfully;  and  he  spurned  the  earth. 

"  The  only  chance  of  her  being  found  is  for 
somebody  to  come  up  when  we're  not  expecting 
them  and  see  her,"  said  the  Terror.  "  So  I'm 
going  to  block  the  path  with  thorn-bushes;  and 
any  one  who  comes  up  it  will  shout  to  us.  But 
there's  no  need  to  do  that  yet;  nobody  will  think 
about  us  for  a  day  or  two." 

"No;  of  course  they  won't.  I  didn't,"  said 
Wiggins. 

The  active  life  persisted  throughout  that  day  and 
the  days  that  followed.  It  kept  the  princess  al- 
ways beside  the  Terror.  Always  he  was  using  his 
greater  strength  to  help  her  lead  it  at  the  required 
speed.  Never  in  the  history  of  the  courts  of 


238  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

Europe  has  a  princess  been  so  hauled,  shoved, 
dragged,  jerked,  towed  and  lugged  over  rough 
ground.  On  the  second  morning  she  awoke 
so  stiff  that  she  could  hardly  move ;  but  by  the  fifth 
evening  she  could  give  forth  an  ear-piercing  yell 
that  would  have  done  credit  to  Erebus  herself. 

All  her  life  the  princess  had  been  starved  of 
affection ;  her  mother  had  died  when  she  was  in  her 
cradle;  her  father  had  been  immersed  in  his  pleas- 
ures; no  one  had  been  truly  fond  of  her;  and  she 
had  been  truly  fond  of  no  one.  It  is  hardly  too 
much  to  say  that  she  was  coming  to  adore  the 
Terror.  Even  at  their  most  violent  and  thrilling 
moments  his  care  for  her  never  relaxed.  He 
rubbed  the  ache  out  of  her  bruises ;  he  plastered  her 
scratches.  He  saw  to  it  that  she  came  out  of  the 
pool  the  moment  that  she  looked  chill.  He  picked 
out  for  her  the  tidbits  at  their  meals.  He  even 
brushed  out  her  hair,  for  the  thick  golden  mass  was 
quite  beyond  the  management  of  the  princess;  and 
Erebus  firmly  refused  to  play  the  lady's-maid. 
Since  the  Terror  was  one  of  those  who  enjoy 
doing  most  things  which  they  are  called  upon  to 
do,  he  presently  forgot  the  unmanliness  of  the  oc- 


AND  ROYALTY  239 

cupation,  and  began  to  take  pleasure  in  handling 
the  silken  strands. 

It  was  on  the  fifth  day,  after  a  bath,  when  he 
was  brushing  out  her  hair  in  the  sun  on  the  top  of 
the  knoll  that  he  received  the  severe  shock. 
Heaven  knows  that  the  princess  was  not  a  demon- 
strative child ;  indeed,  she  had  never  had  the  chance. 
But  he  had  just  finished  his  task  and  was  survey- 
ing the  shining  result  with  satisfaction,  when,  of  a 
sudden,  without  any  warning,  she  threw  her  arms 
round  his  neck  and  kissed  him. 

"  Oh,  you  are  nice !  "  she  said. 

The  Terror's  ineffable  serenity  was  for  once 
scattered  to  the  winds.  He  flushed  and  gazed 
round  the  wood  with  horror-stricken  eyes:  if  any 
one  should  have  seen  it! 

The  princess  marked  his  trouble,  and  said  in  a 
tone  of  distress :  "  Don't  you  like  for  me  to  kiss 
you?" 

The  Terror  swallowed  the  lump  of  horror  in  his 
throat,  and  said,  faintly  but  gallantly :  "  Yes  — 
oh,  rather." 

'  Then  kiss  me,"  said  the  princess  simply,  snug- 
gling closer  to  him. 


240  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

The  despairing  eyes  of  the  Terror  swept  the 
woods;  then  he  kissed  her  gingerly. 

"  I  am  fond  of  you,  you  know,"  said  the 
princess  in  a  frankly  proprietary  tone. 

The  Terror's  scattered  wits  at  last  worked.  He 
rose  to  his  feet,  and  said  quickly: 

"  Yes;  let's  be  getting  to  the  others." 

The  princess  rose  obediently. 

But  the  ice  was  broken;  and  the  kisses  of  the 
princess,  if  not  frequent,  were,  at  any  rate,  not 
rare.  The  Terror  at  first  endured  them;  then  he 
came  rather  to  like  them.  But  he  strictly  enjoined 
discretion  on  her;  it  would  never  do  for  Erebus  to 
learn  that  she  kissed  him.  The  princess  had  no 
desire  that  Erebus,  or  any  one  else  for  that  matter, 
should  learn;  but  discretion  and  kisses  have  no 
natural  affinity;  and,  without  their  knowing  it, 
Wiggins  became  aware  of  the  practise. 

He  had  always  observed  that  the  Twins  had  no 
secrets  from  each  other;  and  he  never  dreamed 
that  he  was  letting  an  uncommonly  awkward  cat 
out  of  a  bag  when  during  a  lull  in  the  strenuous 
life,  he  said  to  Erebus: 

"  I  suppose  the  Terror's  in  love  with  the  prin- 


AND  ROYALTY  241 

cess,  kissing  her  like  that.  I  think  it's  awfully 
silly."  And  he  spurned  the  earth. 

Erebus  grabbed  his  arm  and  cried  fiercely: 
"  He  never  does !  " 

Wiggins  looked  at  her  in  some  surprise ;  her  face 
was  one  dusky  flush;  and  her  eyes  were  flashing. 
He  had  seen  her  angry  often  enough,  but  never  so 
angry  as  this ;  and  he  saw  plainly  that  he  had  com- 
mitted a  grievous  indiscretion. 

"  Perhaps  she  kissed  him,"  he  said  quickly. 

"  He'd  never  let  her !  "  cried  Erebus  fiercely. 

"  Perhaps  they  didn't,"  said  Wiggins  readily. 

"  You  know  they  did ! "  cried  Erebus  yet  more 
fiercely. 

"  I  may  have  made  a  mistake.  It's  quite  easy  to 
make  a  mistake  about  that  kind  of  thing,"  said 
Wiggins. 

Erebus  would  not  have  it,  and  very  fiercely  she 
dragged  piecemeal  from  his  reluctant  lips  the  story 
of  the  surprised  idyl.  He  had  seen  the  princess 
with  an  arm  round  the  Terror's  neck,  and  they  had 
kissed. 

With  clenched  fists  and  blazing  eyes  Erebus,  tak- 
ing the  line  of  the  least  resistance,  sought  the 


242  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

princess.  She  found  her  lying  back  drowsily 
against  a  sunny  bank. 

Erebus  came  to  an  abrupt  stop  before  her  and 
cried  fiercely :  "  Princess  or  no  princess,  you 
shan't  kiss  the  Terror !  " 

The  drowsiness  fled;  and  the  princess  sat  up. 
Her  gray  eyes  darkened  and  sparkled.  She  had 
never  made  a  face  in  her  life;  it  is  not  improbable, 
seeing  how  sheltered  a  life  she  had  led,  that  she 
was  ignorant  that  faces  were  made;  but  quite  nat- 
urally she  made  a  hideous  face  at  Erebus,  and 
said: 

"  I  shall !  " 

"  If  you  do,  I'll  smack  you !  "  cried  Erebus ;  and 
she  ground  her  teeth. 

For  all  her  Hohenzollern  blood,  the  princess  was 
a  timid  child;  but  by  a  gracious  provision  of  nature 
even  the  timidest  female  will  fight  in  the  matter  of 
a  male.  She  met  Erebus'  blazing  eyes  squarely 
and  said  confidently: 

"  He  won't  let  you.  And  if  you  do  he'll  smack 
you  —  much  harder !  " 

Had  the  princess  been  standing  up,  Erebus  would 
have  smacked  her  then  and  there.  But  she  was 


AND  ROYALTY  243 

sitting  safely  down;  and  the  Queensberry  rules 
only  permit  you  to  strike  any  one  standing  up. 
Erebus  forgot  them,  stooped  to  strike,  remembered 
them,  straightened  herself,  and  with  a  really 
pantherous  growl  dashed  away  in  search  of  the 
Terror. 

She  found  him  examining  and  strengthening  the 
barrier  of  thorns;  and  she  cried: 

"  I  know  all  about  your  kissing  the  princess !  I 
never  heard  of  such  silly  babyishness !  " 

It  was  very  seldom,  indeed,  that  the  Terror 
showed  himself  sensible  to  the  emotions  of  his  sis- 
ter; but  on  this  occasion  he  blushed  faintly  as  he 
said: 

"  Well,  what  harm  is  there  in  it  ?  " 

"  It's  babyish  !  It's  what  mollycoddles  do !  It's 
girlish!  It's—" 

The  Terror  of  a  sudden  turned  brazen;  he  said 
loudly  and  firmly : 

'  You  mind  your  own  business !  It  isn't  babyish 
at  all!  She's  asked  me  to  marry  her;  and  when 
we're  grown  up  I'm  going  to  —  so  there ! " 


E 


CHAPTER  XI 

AND    THE    UNREST    CURE 

REBUS  knew  her  brother  well;  she  perceived 
that  she  was  confronted  by  what  she  called  his 
obstinacy;  and  though  his  brazen-faced  admission 
had  raised  her  to  the  very  height  of  amazement 
and  horror,  she  uttered  no  protest.  She  knew  that 
protest  would  be  vain,  that  against  his  obstinacy 
she  was  helpless.  She  wrung  her  hands  and  turned 
aside  into  the  wood,  overwhelmed  by  his  defection 
from  one  of  their  loftiest  ideals. 

Then  followed  a  period  of  strain.  She  assumed 
an  attitude  of  very  haughty  contempt  toward  the 
errant  pair,  devoted  herself  to  Wiggins,  and  let 
them  coldly  alone.  From  this  attitude  Wiggins 
was  the  chief  sufferer :  the  Terror  had  the  princess 
and  the  princess  had  the  Terror;  Erebus  en- 
joyed her  display  of  haughty  contempt,  but  Wig- 
gins missed  the  strenuous  life,  the  rushing  games, 

in  which  you  yelled  so  heartily.     As  often  as  he 

244 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  245 

could  he  stole  away  from  the  haughty  Erebus  and 
joined  the  errant  pair.  It  is  to  be  feared  that  the 
princess  found  the  kisses  sweeter  for  the  ban  Ere- 
bus had  laid  on  them. 

No  one  in  the  Deepings  suspected  that  the  miss- 
ing princess  was  on  Deeping  Knoll.  There  had 
been  sporadic  outbursts  of  suspicion  that  the  Twins 
had  had  a  hand  in  her  disappearance.  But  no  one 
had  any  reason  to  suppose  that  they  and  the 
princess  had  even  been  acquainted.  Doctor  Ar- 
buthnot,  indeed,  questioned  both  Wiggins  and  the 
Terror;  but  they  were  mindful  of  the  fact  that 
Lady  Rowington  (they  were  always  very  careful  to 
address  her  as  Lady  Rowington)  and  not  the  prin- 
cess, was  at  the  knoll,  and  were  thus  able  to  assure 
him  with  sufficient  truthfulness  that  they  could  not 
tell  him  where  the  princess  was.  The  bursts  of 
suspicion  therefore  were  brief. 

But  there  was  one  man  in  England  in  whom  sus- 
picion had  not  died  down.  Suspicion  is,  indeed, 
hardly  the  word  for  the  feeling  of  Sir  Maurice 
Falconer  in  the  matter.  When  he  first  read  in  his 
Morning  Post  of  the  disappearance  of  the  Princess 
Elizabeth  of  Cassel-Nassau  from  Muttle  Deeping 


246  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

Grange  he  said  confidently  to  himself:  "The 
Twins  again ! "  and  to  that  conviction  his  mind 
clung. 

It  was  greatly  strengthened  by  a  study  of  the  re- 
production of  the  Socialist  manifesto  on  the  front 
page  of  an  enterprising  halfpenny  paper.  He  told 
himself  that  Socialists  are  an  educated,  even  over- 
educated  folk,  and  if  one  of  them  did  set  himself 
to  draw  a  skull  and  cross-bones,  the  drawing  would 
be,  if  not  exquisite,  at  any  rate  accurate  and  un- 
smudged;  that  it  was  highly  improbable  that  a  So- 
cialist would  spell  desperate  with  two  "  a's  "  in  an 
important  document  without  being  corrected  by  a 
confederate.  On  the  other  hand  the  drawing  of 
the  skull  and  cross-bones  seemed  to  him  to  display 
a  skill  to  which  the  immature  genius  of  the  Ter- 
ror might  easily  have  attained,  while  he  could 
readily  conceive  that  he  would  spell  desperate  with 
two  "  a's  "  in  any  document. 

But  Sir  Maurice  was  not  a  man  to  interfere 
lightly  in  the  pleasures  of  his  relations;  and  he 
would  not  have  interfered  at  all  had  it  not  been  for 
the  international  situation  produced  by  the  disap- 
pearance of  the  princess.  As  it  was  he  was  so  busy 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  247 

with  lunches,  race  meetings,  dinners,  theater  parties, 
dances  and  suppers  that  he  was  compelled  to  post- 
pone intervention  till  the  sixth  day,  when  every 
Socialist  organ  and  organization  from  San  Fran- 
cisco eastward  to  Japan  was  loudly  disavowing 
any  connection  with  the  crime,  the  newspapers  of 
England  and  Germany  were  snarling  and  howling 
and  roaring  and  bellowing  at  one  another,  and  the 
Foreign  Office  and  the  German  Chancellery  were 
wiring  frequent,  carefully  coded  appeals  to  each 
other  to  invent  some  plausible  excuse  for  not 
mobilizing  their  armies  and  fleets.  Even  then  Sir 
Maurice,  who  knew  too  well  the  value  of  German 
press  opinion,  would  not  have  interfered,  had  not 
the  extremely  active  wife  of  a  cabinet  minister 
consulted  him  about  the  easiest  way  for  her  to  sell 
twenty  thousand  pounds'  worth  of  consols.  He 
disliked  the  lady  so  strongly  that  after  telling  her 
how  she  could  best  compass  her  design,  he  felt  that 
the  time  had  come  to  ease  the  international  situa- 
tion. 

With  this  end  in  view  he  went  down  to  Little 
Deeping.  His  conviction  that  the  Twins  were  re- 
sponsible for  the  disappearance  of  the  princess  be- 


248  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

came  certitude  when  he  learned  from  Mrs.  Danger- 
field  that  they  were  encamped  on  Deeping  Knoll, 
and  had  been  there  since  the  day  before  that  dis- 
appearance. But  he  kept  that  certitude  to  himself, 
since  it  was  his  habit  to  do  things  in  the  pleasantest 
way  possible. 

He  forthwith  set  out  across  the  fields  and  walked 
through  the  home  wood  and  park  to  Muttle  Deep- 
ing Grange.  He  gave  his  card  to  the  butler  and 
told  him  to  take  it  straight  to  Miss  Lambart,  with 
whom  he  was  on  terms  of  friendship  rather  than 
of  acquaintance;  and  in  less  than  three  minutes  she 
came  to  him  in  the  drawing-room. 

She  was  looking  anxious  and  worried;  and  as 
they  shook  hands  he  said :  "  Is  this  business 
worrying  you  ?  " 

"  It  is  rather.  You  see,  though  the  Baroness 
Von  Aschersleben  was  in  charge  of  the  princess,  I 
am  partly  responsible.  Besides,  since  I'm  English, 
they  keep  coming  to  me  to  have  all  the  steps  that 
are  being  taken  explained ;  and  they  want  the  same 
explanation  over  and  over  again.  Since  the  arch- 
duke came  it  has  been  very  trying.  I  think  that  he 
is  more  of  an  imbecile  than  any  royalty  I  ever  met." 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  249 

"  I'm  sorry  to  hear  that  they've  been  worrying 
you  like  this.  If  I'd  known,  I'd  have  come  down 
and  stopped  it  earlier,"  said  Sir  Maurice  in  a  tone 
of  lively  self-reproach. 

"  Stop  it  ?  Why,  what  can  you  do  ?  "  cried  Miss 
Lambart,  opening  her  eyes  wide  in  her  surprise. 

"  Well,  I  have  a  strong  belief  that  I  could  lead 
you  to  your  missing  princess.  But  it's  only  a 
belief,  mind.  So  don't  be  too  hopeful." 

Miss  Lambart's  pretty  face  flushed  with  sudden 
hope: 

"  Oh,  if  you  could !  "  she  cried. 

"  Put  on  your  strongest  pair  of  shoes,  for  I  think 
that  it  will  be  rough  going  part  of  the  way,  and 
order  a  motor-car,  or  carriage;  if  you  can,  for  the 
easier  part;  and  we'll  put  my  belief  to  the  test," 
said  Sir  Maurice  briskly. 

Miss  Lambart  frowned,  and  said  in  a  doubtful 
tone :  "  I  shan't  be  able  to  get  a  carriage  or  car 
without  a  tiresome  fuss.  They're  very  unpleasant 
people,  you  know.  Could  we  take  the  baroness 
with  us?  She'll  have  to  be  carried  in  something." 

"Is  she  very  fat?" 

"  Very." 


250  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"  Then  she'd  never  get  to  the  place  I  have  in 
mind,"  said  Sir  Maurice. 

"  Is  it  very  far  ?     Couldn't  we  walk  to  it  ?  " 

"  It's  about  three  miles,"  said  Sir  Maurice. 

"  Oh,  that's  nothing  —  at  least  not  for  me.  But 
you  ?  "  said  Miss  Lambart,  who  had  an  utterly  er- 
roneous belief  that  Sir  Maurice  was  something  of 
a  weakling. 

"  I  can  manage  it.  Your  companionship  will 
stimulate  my  flagging  limbs,"  said  Sir  Maurice. 
"  Indeed,  a  real  country  walk  on  a  warm  and  pleas- 
ant afternoon  will  be  an  experience  I  haven't  en- 
joyed for  years." 

Miss  Lambart  was  not  long  getting  ready;  and 
they  set  out  across  the  park  toward  the  knoll  which 
rose,  a  rounded  green  lump,  above  the  surface  of 
the  distant  wood.  Sir  Maurice  had  once  walked 
to  it  with  the  Twins ;  and  he  thought  that  his  mem- 
ory of  the  walk  helped  by  a  few  inquiries  of  people 
they  met  would  take  him  to  it  on  a  fairly  straight 
course.  It  was  certainly  very  pleasant  to  be  walk- 
ing with  such  a  charming  companion  through  such 
a  charming  country. 

As  soon  as  they  were  free  of  the  gardens  Miss 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  251 

Lambart  said  eagerly:  "  Where  are  we  going  to? 
Where  do  you  think  the  princess  is  ?  " 

"  You've  been  here  a  month.  Haven't  you  heard 
of  the  Danger-field  twins?  "  said  Sir  Maurice. 

"  Oh,  yes ;  we  were  trying  to  find  children  to  play 
with  the  princess ;  and  Doctor  Arbuthnot  mentioned 
them.  But  he  said  that  they  were  not  the  kind  of 
children  for  her,  though  they  were  the  only  high  and 
well-born  ones  the  baroness  was  clamoring  for,  in 
the  neighborhood,  He  seemed  to  think  that  they 
would  make  her  rebellious." 

"Then  the  princess  didn't  know  them?"  said 
Sir  Maurice  quickly. 

"  No." 

"  I  wonder,"  said  Sir  Maurice  skeptically. 

"  We  found  a  little  boy  called  Rupert  Carrington 
to  play  with  her  —  a  very  nice  little  boy,"  said  Miss 
Lambart. 

"  Wiggins !  The  Twins'  greatest  friend !  Well, 
I'll  be  shot !  "  cried  Sir  Maurice ;  and  he  laughed. 

"  But  do  you  mean  to  say  that  you  think  that  these 
children  have  something  to  do  with  the  princess' 
disappearance?  How  old  are  they?"  said  Miss 
Lambart  in  an  incredulous  tone,  for  fixed  very  firmly 


252  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

in  her  mind  was  the  belief  that  the  princess  had 
been  carried  off  by  the  Socialists  and  foreigners. 

"  I  never  know  whether  they  are  thirteen  or  four- 
teen. But  I  do  know  that  nothing  out  of  the  com- 
mon happens  in  the  Deepings  without  their  having 
a  hand  in  it.  I  have  the  honor  to  be  their  uncle," 
said  Sir  Maurice. 

"  But  they'd  never  be  able  to  persuade  her  to  run 
away  with  them.  She's  a  timid  child ;  and  she  has 
been  coddled  and  cosseted  all  her  life  till  she  is  deli- 
cate to  fragility,"  Miss  Lambart  protested. 

"  If  it  came  to  a  matter  of  persuasion,  my  nephew 
would  persuade  the  hind-leg,  or  perhaps  even  the 
fore-leg,  off  a  horse,"  said  Sir  Maurice  in  a  tone  of 
deep  conviction.  "  But  it  would  not  necessarily  be 
a  matter  of  persuasion." 

"  But  what  else  could  it  be  —  children  of  thirteen 
or  fourteen !  "  cried  Miss  Lambart. 

"  I  assure  you  that  it  might  quite  easily  have  been 
force,"  said  Sir  Maurice  seriously.  "  My  nephew 
and  niece  are  encamped  on  Deeping  Knoll.  It  is 
honeycombed  with  dry  sand-stone  caves  for  the 
most  part  communicating  with  one  another.  I  can 
conceive  oi  nothing  more  likely  than  that  the  idea 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  253 

of  being  brigands  occurred  to  one  or  other  of  them ; 
and  they  proceeded  to  kidnap  the  princess  to  hold 
her  for  ransom.  They  might  lure  her  to  some  dis- 
tance from  the  Grange  before  they  had  recourse  to 
force." 

"  It  sounds  incredible  —  children,"  said  Miss 
Lambart. 

"  Well,  we  shall  see,"  said  Sir  Maurice  cheerfully. 
Then  he  added  in  a  more  doubtful  tone:  "  If  only 
we  can  take  them  by  surprise,  which  won't  be  so 
easy  as  it  sounds." 

Miss  Lambart  feared  that  they  were  on  a  wild 
goose  chase.  But  it  was  a  very  pleasant  wild  goose 
chase ;  she  was  very  well  content  to  be  walking  with 
him  through  this  pleasant  sunny  land.  When  pres- 
ently he  turned  the  talk  to  matters  more  personal 
to  her,  she  liked  it  better  still.  He  was  very  sympa- 
thetic :  he  sympathized  with  her  in  her  annoyance  at 
having  had  to  waste  so  much  of  the  summer  on  this 
tiresome  corvee  of  acting  as  lady-in-waiting  on  the 
little  princess;  for,  thanks  to  the  domineering  jeal- 
ousy of  the  baroness,  it  had  been  a  tiresome  corvee 
indeed,  instead  of  the  pleasant  occupation  it  might 
have  been.  He  sympathized  with  her  in  her  vexa- 


254  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

tion  that  she  had  been  prevented  by  that  jealousy 
from  improving  the  health  or  spirits  of  the  prin- 
cess. 

He  was  warmly  indignant  when  she  told  him  of 
the  behavior  of  the  baroness  and  the  archduke 
during  the  last  few  days.  The  baroness  had  tried 
to  lay  the  blame  of  the  disappearance  of  the  prin- 
cess on  her;  and  the  archduke,  a  vast,  sun-shaped, 
billowy  mass  of  fat,  infuriated  at  having  been  torn 
from  the  summer  ease  of  his  Schloss  to  dash  to  Eng- 
land, had  been  very  rude  indeed.  She  was  much 
pleased  by  the  warmth  of  Sir  Maurice's  indignation ; 
but  she  protested  against  his  making  any  attempt  to 
punish  them,  for  she  did  not  see  how  he  could  do  it, 
without  harming  himself.  But  she  agreed  with  him 
that  neither  the  grand  duke,  nor  the  baroness  de- 
served any  consideration  at  her  hands. 

Their  unfailing  flow  of  talk  shortened  the  way; 
and  they  soon  were  in  the  broad  aisle  of  the  wood 
from  which  the  narrow,  thorn-blocked  path  led  to 
the  knoll.  Sir  Maurice  recognized  the  path;  but 
he  did  not  take  it.  He  knew  that  the  Twins  were 
far  too  capable  not  to  have  it  guarded,  if  the  prin- 
cess were  indeed  with  them.  He  led  the  way  into 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  255 

the  wood  on  the  right  of  it,  and  slowly,  clearing  the 
way  for  her  carefully,  seeing  to  it  that  she  did  not 
get  scratched,  or  her  frock  get  torn,  he  brought 
her  in  a  circuit  round  to  the  very  back  of  the 
knoll. 

They  made  the  passage  in  silence,  careful  not  to 
tread  on  a  twig,  Sir  Maurice  walking  a  few  feet  in 
front,  and  all  the  while  peering  earnestly  ahead 
through  the  branches.  Now  and  again  a  loud  yell 
came  from  the  knoll;  and  once  a  chorus  of  yells. 
Finding  that  her  coldness  (the  Terror  frankly  called 
it  sulking)  had  no  effect  whatever  on  her  insensible 
brother  or  the  insensible  princess,  Erebus  had  put  it 
aside;  and  the  strenuous  life  was  once  more  in  full 
swing. 

Once  after  an  uncommonly  shrill  and  piercing 
yell  Miss  Lambart  said  in  an  astonished  whisper: 
"  That  was  awfully  like  the  princess'  voice." 

"  I  thought  you  said  she  was  delicate,"  said  Sir 
Maurice. 

"  So  she  was,"  said  Miss  Lambart  firmly. 

Thanks  to  the  careful  noiselessness  of  their  ap- 
proach, they  came  unseen  and  unheard  to  the  screen 
of  a  clump  of  hazels  at  the  foot  of  the  knoll,  from 


256  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

which  they  could  see  the  entrance  of  five  caves  in  its 
face.  They  waited,  watching  it. 

It  was  silent;  there  was  no  sign  of  life;  and  Sir 
Maurice  was  beginning  to  wonder  whether  they 
had,  after  all,  been  espied  by  his  keen-eyed  kin, 
when  a  little  girl,  with  a  great  plait  of  very  fair 
hair  hanging  down  her  back,  came  swiftly  out  of 
one  of  the  bottom  caves  and  slipped  into  a  clump 
of  bushes  to  the  right  of  it. 

"The  princess!"  said  Miss  Lambart;  and  she 
was  for  stepping  forward,  but  Sir  Maurice  caught 
her  wrist  and  checked  her. 

Almost  on  the  instant  an  amazingly  disheveled 
Wiggins  appeared  stealing  in  a  crouching  attitude 
toward  the  entrance  to  the  cave. 

"  That  nice  little  boy,  Rupert  Carrington,"  said 
Sir  Maurice. 

Wiggins  had  almost  gained  the  entrance  to  the 
cave  when,  with  an  ear-piercing  yell,  the  princess 
sprang  upon  him  and  locked  her  arms  round  his 
neck;  they  swayed,  yelling  in  anything  but  unison, 
and  came  to  the  ground. 

"  Delicate  to  fragility,"  muttered  Sir  Maurice. 

"  Whatever  has  she  been  doing  to  herself  ?  "  said 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  257 

Miss  Lambart  faintly,  gazing  at  her  battling  yell- 
ing charge  with  amazed  eyes. 

"  You  don't  know  the  Twins,"  said  Sir 
Maurice. 

On  his  words  Erebus  came  flying  down  the  face 
of  the  knoll  at  a  breakneck  pace,  yelling  as  she 
c?me,  and  flung  herself  upon  the  battling  pair.  As 
far  as  the  spectators  could  judge  she  and  the  prin- 
cess were  rending  Wiggins  limb  from  limb;  and 
they  all  three  yelled  their  shrillest.  Then  with  a 
yell  the  Terror  leaped  upon  them  from  the  cave  and 
they  were  all  four  rolling  on  the  ground  while  the 
aching  welkin  rang. 

Suddenly  the  tangle  of  whirling  limbs  was  dis- 
solved as  Erebus  and  Wiggins  tore  themselves  free, 
gained  their  feet  and  fled.  The  princess  and  the 
Terror  sat  up,  panting,  flushed  and  disheveled. 
The  princess  wriggled  close  to  the  Terror,  snuggled 
against  him,  and  put  an  arm  round  his  neck. 

"  It  was  splendid !  "  she  cried,  and  kissed  him. 

Unaware  of  the  watching  eyes,  he  submitted  to  the 
embrace  with  a  very  good  grace. 

"  Well,  I  never !  "  said  Miss  Lambart. 

"  These    delicate    children,"    said    Sir    Maurice. 


258  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"  But  it's  certainly  a  delightful  place  for  lovers. 
I'm  so  glad  we've  found  it." 

He  was  looking  earnestly  at  Miss  Lambart;  and 
she  felt  that  she  was  flushing. 

"  Come  along !  "  she  said  quickly. 

They  came  out  of  their  clump,  about  fifteen  yards 
from  their  quarry. 

The  quick-eyed  Terror  saw  them  first.  He  did 
not  stir;  but  a  curious,  short,  sharp  cry  came  from 
his  throat.  It  seemed  to  loose  a  spring  in  the 
princess.  She  shot  to  her  feet  and  stood  prepared 
to  fly,  frowning.  The  Terror  rose  more  slowly. 

"  Good  afternoon,  Highness.  I've  come  to  take 
you  back  to  the  Grange,"  said  Miss  Lambart. 

"  I'm  not  going,"  said  the  princess  firmly. 

"  I'm  afraid  you  must.  Your  father  is  there ; 
and  he  wants  you,"  said  Miss  Lambart. 

"  No,"  said  the  princess  yet  more  firmly;  and  she 
took  a  step  sidewise  toward  the  mouth  of  the  cave. 

The  Terror  nodded  amiably  to  his  uncle  and  put 
his  hands  in  his  pockets;  he  wore  the  detached  air 
of  a  spectator. 

"  But  if  you  don't  come  of  yourself,  we  shall  have 
to  carry  you,"  said  Miss  Lambart  sternly. 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  259 

The  Terror  intervened ;  he  said  in  his  most  agree- 
able tone :  "I  don't  see  how  you  can.  You  can't 
touch  a  princess  you  know.  It  would  be  lese-ma- 
jeste.  She's  told  me  all  about  it." 

The  perplexity  spread  from  the  face  of  Miss 
Lambart  to  the  face  of  Sir  Maurice  Falconer;  he 
smiled  appreciatively.  But  he  said :  "  Oh,  come ; 
this  won't  do,  Terror,  don't  you  know !  Her  high- 
ness will  have  to  come." 

"  I  don't  see  how  you're  going  to  get  her.  The 
only  person  who  could  use  force  is  the  prince  him- 
self, and  I  don't  think  he  could  be  got  up  to  the 
knoll.  He's  too  heavy.  I've  seen  him.  And  if 
you  did  get  him  up,  I  don't  really  think  he'd  ever 
find  her  in  these  caves,"  said  the  Terror  in  the  dis- 
passionate tone  of  one  discussing  an  entirely  im- 
personal matter. 

"  Anyhow,  I'm  not  going,"  said  the  princess  with 
even  greater  firmness. 

Miss  Lambart  and  Sir  Maurice  gazed  at  each 
other  in  an  equal  perplexity. 

"  You  see,  there  isn't  any  real  reason  why  she 
shouldn't  stay  here,"  said  the  Terror.  "  She  came 
to  England  to  improve  her  health;  and  she's  im- 


260  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

proving  it  ever  so  much  faster  here  than  she  did  at 
the  Grange.  You  can  see  how  improved  it  is.  She 
eats  nearly  as  much  as  Erebus." 

"  She  has  certainly  changed,"  said  Miss  Lambart 
in  a  tart  tone  which  showed  exactly  how  little  she 
found  it  a  change  for  the  better. 

"  The  Twins  have  a  transforming  effect  on  the 
young,"  said  Sir  Maurice  in  a  tone  of  resignation. 

"  I  am  much  better,"  said  the  princess.  "  I'm 
getting  quite  strong,  and  I  can  run  ever  so  fast." 

She  stretched  out  a  tanning  leg  and  surveyed  it 
with  an  air  of  satisfaction. 

"  But  it's  nonsense !  "  said  Miss  Lambart. 

"  But  what  can  you  do?  "  said  the  Terror  gently. 

"I'll  chance  the  lese-majeste!"  cried  Miss  Lam- 
bart; and  she  sprang  swiftly  forward. 

The  princess  bolted  into  the  cave  and  up  it. 
Miss  Lambart  followed  swiftly.  The  cave  ended 
in  a  dim  passage,  ten  feet  down,  the  passage  forked 
into  three  dimmer  passages.  Miss  Lambart  stopped 
short  and  tried  to  hear  from  which  of  them  came 
the  sound  of  the  footfalls  of  the  retiring  princess. 
It  came  from  none  of  the  three;  the  floor  of  the 
caves  was  covered  with  sound-deadening  sand. 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  261 

Miss  Lambart  walked  back  to  the  entrance  of  the 
cave. 

"  She  has  escaped,"  she  said  in  a  tone  of  resigna- 
tion. 

"  Well,  I  really  don't  see  any  reason  for  you  to 
put  yourself  about  for  the  sake  of  that  disagreeable 
crew  at  the  Grange.  You  have  done  more  than  you 
were  called  on  to  do  in  finding  her.  You  can  leave 
the  catching  of  her  to  them.  There's  nothing  to 
worry  about :  it's  quite  clear  that  this  camping-out 
is  doing  her  a  world  of  good,"  said  Sir  Maurice  in 
a  comforting  tone. 

'"'  Yes ;  there  is  that,"  said  Miss  Lambart 

"  Let  me  introduce  my  nephew,  Hyacinth  Danger- 
field  —  better,  much  better,  known  as  the  Terror  - 
to  you,"  said  Sir  Maurice. 

The  Terror  shook  hands  with  her,  and  said : 
"  How  do  you  do  ?  I've  been  wanting  to  know 
you :  the  princess  —  I  mean  Lady  Rowington  — 
likes  you  ever  so  much." 

Miss  Lambart  was  appeased. 

"  Perhaps  you  could  give  us  some  tea  ?  We 
want  it  badly,"  said  Sir  Maurice. 

'  Yes,  I  can.     We  only  drink  milk  and  cocoa, 


262  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

of  course.  But  we  have  some  tea,  for  Mum  walked 
up  to  have  tea  with  us  yesterday,"  said  the  Terror. 

"  I  take  it  that  she  saw  nothing  of  the  princess," 
said  Sir  Maurice. 

"  Oh,  no ;  she  didn't  see  Lady  Rowington.  You 
must  remember  that  she's  Lady  Rowington  here, 
and  not  the  princess  at  all,"  said  the  Terror. 

"  Oh  ?  I  see  now  how  it  was  that  when  you  were 
asked  at  home,  you  knew  nothing  about  the  prin- 
cess," said  Sir  Maurice  quickly. 

"  Yes ;  that  was  how,"  said  the  Terror  blandly. 

They  had  not  long  to  wait  for  their  tea,  for  the 
Twins  had  had  their  kettle  on  the  fire  for  some  time. 
Sir  Maurice  and  Miss  Lambart  enjoyed  the  picnic 
greatly.  On  his  suggestion  an  armistice  was  pro- 
claimed. Miss  Lambart  agreed  to  make  no  fur- 
their  attempt  to  capture  the  princess;  and  she  came 
out  of  hiding  and  took  her  tea  with  them. 

Miss  Lambart  was,  indeed,  pleased  with,  at  any 
rate,  the  physical  change  in  the  princess,  induced 
by  her  short  stay  at  the  knoll:  she  was  a  browner, 
brighter,  stronger  child.  Plainly,  too,  she  was  a 
more  determined  child ;  and  while,  for  her  own  part, 
Miss  Lambart  approved  of  that  change  also,  she  was 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  263 

quite  sure  that  it  would  not  be  approved  by  the  prin- 
cess' kinsfolk  and  train.  But  she  was  somewhat 
distressed  that  the  legs  of  the  princess  should  be 
marred  by  so  many  and  such  deep  scratches.  She 
had  none  of  the  experienced  Twins'  quickness  to 
see  and  dodge  thorns.  She  took  Miss  Lambart's 
sympathy  lightly  enough;  indeed  she  seemed  to  re- 
gard those  scratches  as  scars  gained  in  honorable 
warfare. 

Miss  Lambart  saw  plainly  that  the  billowy  arch- 
duke would  have  no  little  difficulty  in  recovering 
her  from  this  fastness;  and  since  she  was  assured 
that  this  green  wood  life  was  the  very  thing  the 
princess  needed,  she  was  resolved  to  give  him  no 
help  herself.  She  was  pleased  to  learn  that  she  was 
in  no  way  responsible  for  the  princess'  acquaintance 
with  the  Twins;  that  she  had  made  their  acquant- 
ance  and  cultivated  their  society  while  the  careless 
baroness  slept  in  the  peach-garden. 

At  half  past  five  Sir  Maurice  and  Miss  Lambart 
took  their  leave  of  their  entertainers  and  set  out 
through  the  wood.  They  had  not  gone  a  hundred 
yards  before  a  splendid  yelling  informed  them  that 
the  strenuous  life  had  again  begun. 


264  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

Miss  Lambart  had  supposed  that  they  would  re- 
turn straight  to  Muttle  Deeping  Grange  with  the 
news  of  their  great  discovery.  But  she  found  that 
Sir  Maurice  had  formed  other  plans.  They  were 
both  agreed  that  no  consideration  was  owing  to  the 
billowy  archduke.  His  manners  deprived  him  of 
any  right  to  it.  Accordingly,  he  took  her  to  Little 
Deeping  post-office,  and  with  many  appeals  to  her 
for  suggestions  and  help  wrote  two  long  telegrams. 
The  first  was  to  the  editor  of  the  Morning  Post, 
the  second  was  to  the  prime  minister.  In  both  he 
set  forth  his  discovery  of  the  princess  happily  en- 
camped with  young  friends  in  a  wood,  and  her  rea- 
sons for  running  away  to  them.  The  postmistress 
despatched  them  as  he  wrote  them,  that  they  might 
reach  London  and  ease  the  international  situation 
at  once.  Since  both  the  editor  and  the  prime  min- 
ister were  on  friendly  and  familiar  terms  with  him, 
there  was  no  fear  that  the  telegrams  would  fail  of 
their  effect. 

Then  he  took  Miss  Lambart  to  Colet  House,  to 
make  the  acquaintance  of  Mrs.  Dangerfield,  and  to 
inform  her  how  nearly  the  Twins  had  plunged 
Europe  into  Armageddon.  Mrs.  Dangerfield  re- 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  265 

ceived  the  news  with  unruffled  calm.  She  showed 
no  surprise  at  all ;  she  only  said  that  she  had  found 
it  very  strange  that  a  princess  should  vanish  at 
Muttle  Deeping  and  the  Twins  have  no  hand  in  it. 
She  perceived  at  once  that  the  princess  had  quite 
prevented  any  disclosure  by  assuming  the  name  of 
Lady  Rowington. 

Miss  Lambart  found  her  very  charming  and  at- 
tractive, and  was  in  no  haste  to  leave  such  pleasant 
companionship  for  the  dull  and  unpleasant  atmos- 
phere of  Muttle  Deeping  Grange.  It  was  past  seven 
therefore  when  the  Little  Deeping  fly  brought  her 
to  it ;  and  she  went  to  the  archduke  with  her  news. 

She  found  him  in  the  condition  of  nervous  ex- 
citement into  which  he  always  fell  before  meals,  too 
excited,  indeed,  to  listen  to  her  with  sufficient  atten- 
tion to  understand  her  at  the  first  telling  of  her 
news.  He  was  some  time  understanding  it,  and 
longer  believing  it.  It  annoyed  him  greatly.  He 
was  taking  considerable  pleasure  in  standing  on  a 
pedestal  before  the  eyes  of  Europe  as  the  bereaved 
Hohenzollern  sire.  His  first,  and  accurate,  feeling 
was  that  Europe  would  laugh  consumedly  when  it 
learned  the  truth  of  the  matter.  His  second  feel- 


266  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

ing  was  that  his  noble  kinsman,  who  had  been  say- 
ing wonderful,  stirring  things  about  the  Terror's 
manifesto  and  the  stolen  princess,  would  be  fu- 
riously angry  with  him. 

He  began  to  rave  himself,  fortunately  in  his  own 
tongue  of  which  Miss  Lambart  was  ignorant.  Then 
when  he  grew  cooler  and  paler  his  oft-repeated 
phrase  was :  "  Eet  must  be  'ushed !  " 

Miss  Lambart  did  not  tell  him  that  Sir  Maurice 
had  taken  every  care  that  the  affair  should  not  be 
hushed  up.  She  did  not  wish  every  blow  to  strike 
him  at  once.  Then  the  dinner-bell  rang;  and  in 
heavy  haste  he  rolled  off  to  the  dining-room. 

Miss  Lambart  was  betaking  herself  to  her  bed- 
room to  dress,  when  the  archduke's  equerry,  the 
young  mustached  Count  Zerbst  came  running  up 
the  stairs,  bidding  her  in  the  name  of  his  master 
come  to  dinner  at  once,  as  she  was.  She  took  no 
heed  of  the  command,  dressed  at  her  ease,  and  came 
down  just  as  the  archduke,  perspiring  freely  after 
his  struggle  with  the  hors-d'ceuvres,  soup  and  fish, 
was  plunging  upon  his  first  entree. 

He  ate  it  with  great  emphasis;  and  as  he  ate  it 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  267 

he  questioned  her  about  the  place  where  his  daughter 
was  encamped  and  the  friends  she  was  encamped 
with.  Miss  Lambart  described  the  knoll  and  its 
position  as  clearly  as  she  could,  and  of  the  Twins 
she  said  as  little  as  possible.  Then  he  asked  her 
with  considerable  acerbity  why  she  had  not  exer- 
cised her  authority  and  brought  the  princess  back 
with  her. 

Miss  Lambart  said  that  she  had  no  authority  over 
the  princess;  and  that  if  she  had  had  it,  the  prin- 
cess would  have  disregarded  it  wholly,  and  that  it 
was  impossible  to  haul  a  recalcitrant  Hohenzollern 
through  miles  of  wood  by  force,  since  the  persons 
of  Hohenzollerns  were  sacrosanct. 

The  archduke  said  that  the  only  thing  to  do  was 
to  go  himself  and  summon  home  his  truant  child. 
Miss  Lambart  objected  that  it  would  mean  hewing 
expensively  a  path  through  the  wood  wide  enough 
to  permit  his  passage,  and  it  was  improbable  that 
the  owner  of  the  wood  would  allow  it.  Thereupon 
the  baroness  volunteered  to  go.  Miss  Lambart 
with  infinite  pleasure  explained  that  for  her  too  an 
expensive  path  must  be  hewn,  and  went  on  to  de- 


268  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

clare  that  if  they  reached  the  knoll,  there  was  not 
the  slightest  chance  of  their  rinding  the  princess  in 
its  caves. 

The  archduke  frowned  and  grunted  fiercely  in 
his  perplexity.  Then  he  struck  the  table  and  cried : 
"  Count  Zerbst  shall  do  eet !  To-morrow  morn- 
ing! You  shall  'eem  lead  to  ze  wood.  'E  shall 
breeng  'er." 

Miss  Lambart  protested  that  to  wander  in  the 
Deeping  woods  with  a  German  count  would  hardly 
be  proper. 

"  Brobare?  What  ees  'brobare'?"  said  the 
archduke. 

"  Convendble,"  said  Miss  Lambart. 

The  archduke  protested  that  such  considera- 
tions must  not  be  allowed  to  militate  against  his  be- 
ing set  free  to  return  to  Cassel-Nassau  at  the  earliest 
possible  moment.  Miss  Lambart  said  that  they 
must.  In  the  end  it  was  decided  that  a  motor-car 
should  be  procured  from  Rowington  and  that  Miss 
Lambart  should  guide  the  archduke  and  the  count 
to  the  entrance  of  the  path  to  the  knoll,  the  count 
should  convey  to  the  princess  her  father's  command 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  269 

to  return  to  the  Grange,  and  if  she  should  refuse  to 
obey,  he  should  haul  her  by  force  to  the  car. 

Miss  Lambart  made  no  secret  of  her  strong  con- 
viction that  he  would  never  set  eyes,  much  less 
hands,  on  the  princess.  Count  Zerbst's  smooth 
pink  face  flushed  rose-pink  all  round  his  fierce  little 
mustache,  which  in  some  inexplicable,  but  unfor- 
tunate, fashion  accentuated  the  extraordinary  in- 
significance of  his  nose;  his  small  eyes  sparkled; 
and  he  muttered  fiercely  something  about  "  sdrad- 
egy."  He  looked  at  Miss  Lambart  very  unamiably. 
He  felt  that  she  was  not  impressed  by  him  as  were 
the  maidens  of  Cassel-Nassau ;  and  he  resented  it. 
He  resolved  to  capture  the  princess  at  any  cost. 

The  archduke  fumed  furiously  to  find,  next 
morning  in  the  Morning  Post  the  true  story  of  his 
daughter's  disappearance;  and  he  was  fuming  still 
when  the  car  came  from  Rowington.  It  was  a 
powerful  car  and  a  weight-carrier;  Miss  Lambart, 
who  had  telephoned  for  it,  had  been  careful  to  de- 
mand a  weight-carrier.  With  immense  fuss  the 
archduke  disposed  himself  in  the  back  of  the 
tonneau  which  he  filled  with  billowy  curves.  The 


270  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

moment  he  was  settled  in  it  Miss  Lambart  sprang 
to  the  seat  beside  the  driver,  and  insisted  on  keep- 
ing it  that  she  might  the  more  easily  direct  his 
course. 

They  were  not  long  reaching  the  wood;  and 
the  chauffeur  raised  no  objection  to  taking  the  car 
up  the  broad  turfed  aisle  from  which  ran  the  path 
to  the  knoll.  At  the  entrance  of  it  the  count 
stepped  out  of  the  car;  and  the  archduke  gave 
him  his  final  instructions  with  the  air  of  a  Roman 
father ;  he  was  to  bring  the  princess  in  any  fashion, 
but  he  was  to  bring  her  at  once. 

In  a  last  generous  outburst  he  cried :  "  Pooll  'er 
by  the  ear !  Bud  breeng  'er." 

The  count  said  that  he  would,  and  entered  the 
path  with  a  resolute  and  martial  air.  Miss  Lam- 
bart was  not  impressed  by  it.  She  thought  that  in 
his  tight-fitting  clothes  of  military  cut  and  his  ap- 
parently tighter-fitting  patent  leather  boots  he  looked 
uncommonly  out  of  place  under  the  green  wood 
trees.  She  remembered  how  lightly  the  Twins  and 
the  princess  went;  and  she  had  the  poorest  expecta- 
tion of  his  getting  near  any  of  them.  Also,  as  they 
had  come  up  the  aisle  of  the  woods  she  had  been  as- 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE          271 

sailed  by  a  late  but  serious  doubt,  whether  a  weight- 
carrying  motor-car  was  quite  the  right  kind  of 
vehicle  in  which  to  approach  the  lair  of  the  Twins 
with  hostile  intent  Its  powerful,  loud-throbbing 
engine  had  seemed  to  her  to  advertise  their  advent 
with  all  the  competence  of  a  trumpet. 

Her  doubt  was  well-grounded.  The  quick  ears 
of  Erebus  were  the  first  to  catch  its  throbbing  note, 
and  that  while  it  was  still  two  hundred  yards  from 
the  entrance  of  the  path  to  the  knoll.  Ever  since 
the  departure  of  Miss  Lambart  and  Sir  Maurice  the 
Twins  had  been  making  ready  against  invasion,  con- 
veying their  provisions  and  belongings  to  the  secret 
caves. 

The  secret  caves  had  not  been  secret  before  the 
coming  of  the  Twins  to  the  knoll.  They  were  high 
up  on  the  outer  face  of  it,  airy  and  well  lighted  by 
two  inaccessible  holes  under  an  overhanging  ledge. 
But  the  entrance  to  them  was  by  a  narrow  shaft 
which  rose  sharply  from  a  cave  in  the  heart  of  the 
knoll.  On  this  shaft  the  Twins  had  spent  their 
best  pains  for  two  and  a  half  wet  days  the  year 
before;  and  they  had  reduced  some  seven  or  eight 
feet  of  it  to  a  passage  fifteen  inches  high  and  eight- 


272  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

een  inches  broad.  The  opening  into  this  passage 
could,  naturally,  be  closed  very  easily;  and  then,  in 
the  dim  light,  it  was  hard  indeed  to  distinguish  it 
from  the  wall  of  the  cave.  It  had  been  a  somewhat 
difficult  task  to  get  their  blankets  and  provisions 
through  so  narrow  a  passage;  but  it  had  been  fin- 
ished soon  after  breakfast. 

They  were  on  the  alert  for  invaders ;  and  as  soon 
as  they  were  quite  sure  that  the  keen  ears  of  Erebus 
had  made  no  mistake  and  that  a  car  was  coming  up 
the  board  aisle,  the  princess  and  the  Terror 
squirmed  their  way  up  to  the  secret  caves;  and 
Erebus  closed  the  passage  behind  them,  and  with 
small  chunks  filled  in  the  interstices  between  the 
larger  pieces  of  stone  so  that  it  looked  more  than 
ever  a  part  of  the  wall  of  the  cave.  Then  she  be- 
took herself  to  a  point  of  vantage  among  the  bushes 
on  the  face  of  the  knoll,  from  which  she  could 
watch  the  entrance  of  the  path  and  the  coming  of 
the  invaders. 

The  archduke,  lying  back  at  his  ease  in  the  car, 
and  smoking  an  excellent  cigar,  spoke  with  assur- 
ance of  catching  the  one-fifteen  train  from  Rowing- 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  273 

ton  to  London  and  the  night  boat  from  Dover  to 
Calais.  Miss  Lambart  wasted  no  breath  encoura- 
ging him  in  an  expectation  based  on  the  efforts  of 
Count  Zerbst  on  the  knoll.  She  stepped  out  of 
the  car  and  strolled  up  and  down  on  the  pleasant 
turf.  Presently  she  saw  a  figure  coming  down  the 
aisle  from  the  direction  of  Little  Deeping;  when  it 
came  nearer,  with  considerable  pleasure  she  recog- 
nized Sir  Maurice. 

When  he  came  to  them  she  presented  him  to  the 
archduke  as  the  discoverer  of  his  daughter's  hid- 
ing-place. The  archduke,  mindful  of  the  fact 
that  Sir  Maurice  had  given  the  true  story  of  the 
disappearance  to  the  world,  received  him  ungra- 
ciously. Miss  Lambart  at  once  told  Sir  Maurice 
of  the  errand  of  Count  Zerbst  and  of  her  very 
small  expectation  that  anything  would  come  of  it. 
Sir  Maurice  agreed  with  her ;  and  the  fuming  arch- 
duke assured  them  that  the  count  was  the  most 
promising  soldier  in  the  army  of  Cassel-Nassau. 
Then  Sir  Maurice  suggested  that  they  should  go  to 
the  knoll  and  help  the  count.  Miss  Lambart  as- 
sented readily;  and  they  set  out  at  once.  They 


274  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

skirted  the  barriers  of  thorns  in  the  path  and  came 
to  the  knoll.  It  was  quiet  and  seemed  utterly  de- 
serted. 

They  called  loudly  to  the  count  several  times ;  but 
he  did  not  answer.  Miss  Lambart  suggested  that 
he  was  searching  the  caves  and  that  they  should  find 
him  and  help  him  search  them;  they  plunged  into 
the  caves  and  began  to  hunt  for  him.  They  did  not 
find  the  count;  neither  did  they  find  the  princess 
nor  the  Twins.  They  shouted  to  him  many  times  as 
they  traversed  the  caves;  but  they  had  no  answer. 

This  was  not  unnatural,  seeing  that  he  left  the 
knoll  just  before  they  reached  it.  He  had  mounted 
the  side  of  it,  calling  loudly  to  the  princess.  He  had 
gone  through  half  a  dozen  caves,  calling  loudly  to 
the  princess.  No  answer  had  come  to  his  calling. 
He  had  kept  coming  out  of  the  labyrinth  on  to  the 
side  of  the  knoll.  At  one  of  these  exits,  to  his 
great  joy,  he  had  seen  the  figure  of  a  little  girl, 
dressed  in  the  short  serge  skirt  and  blue  jersey  he 
had  been  told  the  princess  was  wearing,  slipping 
through  the  bushes  at  the  foot  of  the  knoll.  With 
a  loud  shout  he  had  dashed  down  it  in  pursuit  and 
plunged  after  her  into  the  wood.  Her  sunbonnet 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  275 

was  still  in  sight  ahead  among  the  bushes,  and  by 
great  good  fortune  he  succeeded  in  keeping  it  in 
sight.  Once,  indeed,  when  he  thought  that  he  had 
lost  it  for  good  and  all,  it  suddenly  reappeared  ahead 
of  him;  and  he  was  able  to  take  up  the  chase  again. 
But  he  did  not  catch  her.  Indeed  he  did  not  lessen 
the  distance  between  them  to  an  extent  appreciable 
by  the  naked  eye.  For  a  delicate  princess  she  was 
running  with  uncommon  speed  and  endurance. 
Considering  his  dress  and  boots  and  the  roughness 
of  the  going,  he,  too,  was  running  with  uncommon 
speed  and  endurance.  It  was  true  that  his  face  was 
a  very  bright  red  and  that  his  so  lately  stiff,  tall, 
white  collar  lay  limply  gray  round  his  neck.  But 
he  was  not  near  enough  to  his  quarry  to  be  morti- 
fied by  seeing  that  she  was  but  faintly  flushed  by 
her  efforts  and  hardly  perspiring  at  all.  All  the 
while  he  was  buoyed  up  by  the  assurance  that  he 
would  catch  her  in  the  course  of  the  next  hundred 
yards. 

Then  his  quarry  left  the  wood,  by  an  exceedingly 
small  gap,  and  ran  down  a  field  path  toward  the 
village  of  Little  Deeping.  By  the  time  the  count 
was  through  the  gap  she  had  a  lead  of  a  hundred 


276  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

yards.  To  his  joy,  in  the  open  country,  on  the 
smoother  path,  he  made  up  the  lost  ground  quickly. 
When  they  reached  the  common,  he  was  a  bare  forty 
yards  behind  her.  He  was  not  surprised  when  in 
despair  she  left  the  path  and  bolted  into  the  refuge 
of  an  old  house  that  stood  beside  it. 

Mopping  his  hot  wet  brow  he  walked  up  the 
garden  path  with  a  victorious  air,  and  knocked  firmly 
on  the  door.  Sarah  opened  it ;  and  he  demanded  the 
instant  surrender  of  the  princess.  Sarah  heard  him 
with  an  exasperating  air  of  blank  bewilderment. 
He  repeated  his  demand  more  firmly  and  loudly. 

Sarah  called  to  Mrs.  Dangerfield :  "  Please, 
mum:  'ere's  a  furrin  gentleman  asking  for  a  prin- 
cess. I  expect  as  it's  that  there  missing  one." 

"  Do  nod  mock !  She  'ees  'ere !  "  cried  the  count 
fiercely. 

Then  Mrs.  Dangerfield  came  out  of  the  dining- 
room  where  she  had  been  arranging  flowers,  and 
came  to  the  door. 

"  The  princess  is  not  here,"  she  said  gently. 

"  But  I  haf  zeen  'er !  She  haf  now  ad  once  coom ! 
She  'ides !  "  cried  the  count. 

At  that  moment  Erebus  came  down  the  hall  airily 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  277 

swinging  her  stmbonnet  by  its  strings.  The  eyes  of 
the  count  opened  wide ;  so  did  his  mouth. 

"  I  expect  he  means  me.  At  least  he's  run  after 
me  all  the  way  from  the  knoll  here,"  said  Erebus  in 
a  clear  quiet  voice. 

The  count's  eyes  returned  to  their  sockets;  and 
he  had  a  sudden  outburst  of  fluent  German.  He 
did  not  think  that  any  of  his  hearers  could  under- 
stand that  portion  of  his  native  tongue  he  was  using ; 
he  hoped  they  could  not ;  he  could  not  help  it  if  they 
did. 

Mrs.  Dangerfield  looked  from  him  to  Erebus 
thoughtfully.  She  did  not  suppose  for  a  moment 
that  it  was  mere  accident  that  had  caused  the  count 
to  take  so  much  violent  exercise  on  such  a  hot  day. 
She  was  sorry  for  him.  He  looked  so  fierce  and 
young  and  inexperienced  to  fall  foul  of  the  Twins. 

Erebus  caught  her  mother's  thoughtful  eye.  At 
once  she  cried  resentfully :  "  How  could  I  possibly 
tell  it  was  the  sunbonnet  which  made  him  think  I 
was  the  princess  ?  He  never  asked  me  who  I  was. 
He  just  shouted  once  and  ran  after  me.  I  was 
hurrying  home  to  get  some  salad  oil  and  get  back 
to  the  knoll  by  lunch." 


278  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"  Yes,  you  would  run  all  the  way,"  said  Mrs. 
Dangerfield  patiently. 

"  Well,  you'd  have  run,  too,  Mum,  with  a  for- 
eigner running  after  you!  Just  look  at  that  mus- 
tache !  It  would  frighten  anybody !  "  cried  Erebus 
in  the  tone  of  one  deeply  aggrieved  by  unjust  inju- 
rious suspicions. 

"  Yes,  I  see,"  said  her  mother  with  undiminished 
patience. 

She  invited  the  count  to  come  in  and  rest  and  get 
cool ;  and  she  allayed  his  fine  thirst  with  a  long  and 
very  grateful  whisky  and  soda.  He  explained  to 
her  at  length,  three  times,  how  he  had  come  to  mis- 
take Erebus  for  the  flying  princess,  for  he  was  ex- 
ceedingly anxious  not  to  appear  foolish  in  the  eyes 
of  such  a  pretty  woman.  Erebus  left  them  to- 
gether ;  she  made  a  point  of  taking  a  small  bottle  of 
salad  oil  to  the  knoll.  They  had  no  use  for  salad 
oil  indeed;  but  it  had  been  an  after-thought,  and 
she  owed  it  to  her  conscience  to  take  it.  That 
would  be  the  safe  course. 

In  the  meantime  the  archduke  was  sitting  im- 
patiently in  the  car,  looking  frequently  at  his  watch. 
He  had  expected  the  count  to  return  with  the  prin- 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  279 

cess  in,  at  the  longest,  a  quarter  of  an  hour.  Then 
he  had  expected  Miss  Lambart  and  Sir  Maurice  to 
return  with  the  count  and  the  princess  in,  at  the 
longest,  a  quarter  of  an  hour.  None  of  them  re- 
turned. The  princess  was  sitting  on  a  heap  of 
bracken  in  the  highest  of  the  secret  caves,  and  the 
Terror  was  taking  advantage  of  this  enforced  quiet 
retirement  to  brush  out  her  hair.  The  count  sat 
drinking  \vhisky  and  soda  and  explained  to  Mrs. 
Dangerfield  that  he  had  not  really  been  deceived  by 
the  sunbonnet  and  that  he  was  very  pleased  that  he 
had  been  deceived  by  it,  since  it  had  given  him  the 
pleasure  of  her  acquaintance.  Miss  Lambart  and 
Sir  Maurice  sat  on  a  bank  and  talked  seriously  about 
everything  and  certain  other  things,  but  chiefly  about 
themselves  and  each  other. 

So  the  world  wagged  as  the  archduke  saw  the 
golden  minutes  which  lay  between  him  and  the  one- 
fifteen  slipping  away  while  his  daughter  remained 
uncaught.  He  chafed  and  fumed.  His  vexation 
grew  even  more  keen  when  he  came  to  the  end  of  his 
cigar  and  found  that  the  thoughtless  count  had 
borne  away  the  case.  He  appealed  to  the  chauffeur 
for  advice;  but  the  chauffeur,  a  native  of  Rowing- 


280  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

ton  and  ignorant  of  Beaumarchais,  could  give  him 
none. 

At  half  past  twelve  the  archduke  rose  to  his  full 
height  in  the  car,  bellowed :  "  Zerbst !  Zerbst ! 
Zerbst !  "  and  sank  down  again  panting  with  the  ef- 
fort. 

The  chauffeur  looked  at  him  with  compassionate 
eyes.  The  archduke's  bellow,  for  all  his  huge 
round  bulk,  was  but  a  thin  and  reedy  cry.  No  an- 
swer came  to  it;  no  one  came  from  the  path  to  the 
knoll. 

"  Praps  if  I  was  to  give  him  a  call,  your  Grace," 
said  the  chauffeur,  somewhat  complacent  at  display- 
ing his  knowledge  of  the  right  way  to  address  an 
archduke. 

"  Yes,  shout !  "  said  the  archduke  quickly. 

The  chauffeur  rose  to  his  full  height  in  the  car 
and  bellowed :  "  Zerbst !  Zerbst !  Zerbst !  " 

No  answer  came  to  the  call ;  no  one  came  from  the 
path  to  the  knoll. 

In  three  minutes  the  archduke  was  grinding  his 
teeth  in  a  black  fury. 

Then  with  an  air  of  inspiration  he  cried :  "  I 
shout  —  you  shout  —  all  ad  vonce !  " 


m 


- 


The    Archduke    bellowed:    "Zerbst!    Zerbst !    Zerbst!" 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  281 

"  Every  little  'elps,"  said  the  chauffeur  politely. 

With  that  they  both  rose  to  their  full  height  in 
the  car  and  together  bellowed :  "  Zerbst !  Zerbst ! 
Zerbst!" 

No  answer  came  to  it ;  no  one  came  from  the  path 
to  t£ie  knoll. 

On  his  sunny  bank  on  the  side  of  the  knoll  Sir 
Maurice  said  carelessly :  "  He  seems  to  be  grow- 
ing impatient." 

"  He  isn't  calling  us.  And  it's  no  use  our  going 
back  without  either  the  princess  or  the  count,"  said 
Miss  Lambart  quickly. 

"Not  the  slightest,"  said  Sir  Maurice;  and  he 
drew  her  closer,  if  that  were  possible,  to  him  and 
kissed  her. 

To  this  point  had  their  cooperation  in  the  search 
for  the  princess  and  their  discussion  of  everything 
and  certain  other  things  ripened  their  earlier  friend- 
ship. They,  or  rather  Sir  Maurice,  had  even  been 
discussing  the  matter  of  being  married  at  an  early 
date. 

"  I  don't  think  I  shall  let  you  go  back  to  the 
Grange  at  all.  They  don't  treat  you  decently,  you 
know  —  not  even  for  royalties,"  he  went  on. 


282  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"  Oh,  it  wouldn't  do  not  to  go  back  —  at  any 
rate  for  to-night  —  though,  of  course,  there's  no 
point  in  my  staying  longer,  since  the  princess  isn't 
there,"  said  Miss  Lambart. 

"  You  don't  know  :  perhaps  Zerbst  has  caught  her 
by  now  and  is  hauling  her  to  her  circular  sire,"  said 
Sir  Maurice.  "  The  Twins  can  not  be  successful 
all  the  time." 

"We  ought  to  go  and  search  those  caves 
thoroughly,"  said  Miss  Lambart. 

"  That  wouldn't  be  the  slightest  use,"  said  Sir 
Maurice  in  a  tone  of  complete  certainty.  "If  the 
princess  is  in  the  caves,  she  is  not  in  an  accessible 
one.  But  as  a  matter  of  fact  she  is  quite  as  likely, 
or  even  likelier,  to  be  at  the  Grange.  The  Twins 
are  quite  intelligent  enough  to  hide  princesses  in 
the  last  place  you  would  be  likely  to  look  for  them. 
It's  no  use  our  worrying  ourselves  about  her;  be- 
sides, we're  very  comfortable  here.  Why  not  stay 
just  as  we  are  ?  " 

They  stayed  there. 

But  the  archduke's  impatience  was  slowly  ris- 
ing to  a  fury  as  the  minutes  that  separated  him 
from  the  one-fifteen  slipped  away.  At  ten  minutes 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  283 

to  one  he  was  seized  by  a  sudden  fresh  fear  lest  the 
searchers  should  be  so  long  returning  as  to  make 
him  late  for  lunch;  and  at  once  he  despatched  the 
chauffeur  to  find  them  and  bring  them  without 
delay. 

The  .chauffeur  made  no  haste  about  it.     He  had 

4 

heard  of  the  caves  on  Deeping  Knoll  and  had  al- 
ways been  curious  to  see  them.  Besides,  he  made 
it  a  point  of  honor  not  to  smoke  on  duty;  he  had 
not  had  a  pipe  in  his  mouth  since  eleven  o'clock; 
and  he  felt  now  off  duty.  He  explored  half  a 
dozen  caves  thoroughly  before  he  came  upon  Miss 
Lambart  and  Sir  Maurice  and  gave  them  the  arch- 
duke's message.  They  joined  him  in  his  search 
for  Count  Zerbst,  going  through  the  caves  and 
calling  to  him  loudly. 

The  one-fifteen  had  gone;  and  the  hour  of  lunch 
was  perilously  near.  The  face  of  the  archduke 
was  dark  with  the  dread  that  he  would  be  late  for 
it.  There  was  a  terrifying  but  sympathetic  throb- 
bing not  far  from  his  solar  plexus. 

Every  two  or  three  minutes  he  rose  to  his  full 
height  in  the  car  and  bellowed :  "  Zerbst !  Zerbst ! 
Zerbst!" 


284  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

Still  no  answer  came  to  the  call;  no  one  came 
from  the  path  to  the  knoll. 

Then  at  the  very  moment  at  which  on  more 
fortunate  days  he  was  wont  to  sink  heavily,  with 
his  mouth  watering,  into  a  large  chair  before  a 
gloriously  spread  German  table,  he  heard  the  sound 
of  voices;  and  the  chauffeur,  Miss  Lambart  and  Sir 
Maurice  came  out  of  the  path  to  the  knoll. 

They  told  the  duke  that  they  had  neither  seen 
nor  heard  anything  of  the  princess,  her  hosts,  or 
Count  Zerbst.  The  archduke  cursed  his  equerry 
wheezily  but  in  the  German  tongue,  and  bade  the 
chauffeur  get  into  the  car  and  drive  to  the  Grange 
as  fast  as  petrol  could  take  him. 

Sir  Maurice  bade  Miss  Lambart  good-by,  sa- 
luted the  archduke,  and  the  car  went  bumping 
down  the  turfed  aisle.  Once  in  the  road  the  chauf- 
feur, anxious  to  make  trial  at  an  early  moment  of 
the  archducal  hospitality,  let  her  rip.  But  half  a 
mile  down  the  road,  they  came  upon  a  slow-going, 
limping  wayfarer.  It  was  Count  Zerbst.  After  a 
long  discussion  with  Mrs.  Dangerfield  he  had  de- 
cided that  since  Erebus  had  slipped  away  back  to 
the  knoll,  it  would  be  impossible  for  him  to  find 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  285 

his  way  to  it  unguided;  and  he  had  set  out  for 
Muttle  Deeping  Grange.  In  the  course  of  his  chase 
of  Erebus  and  his  walk  back  his  patent  leather  boots 
had  found  him  out  with  great  severity ;  and  he  was 
indeed  footsore.  He  stepped  into  the  grateful  car 
with  a  deep  sigh  of  relief. 

A  depressed  party  gathered  round  the  luncheon 
table;  Miss  Lambart  alone  was  cheerful.  The 
archduke  had  been  much  shaken  by  his  terrors 
and  disappointments  of  the  morning.  Count 
Zerbst  had  acquired  a  deep  respect  for  the  intelli- 
gence of  the  young  friends  of  the  princess ;  and  he 
had  learned  from  Mrs.  Dangerfield,  who  had  dis- 
cussed the  matter  with  Sir  Maurice,  that  since  her 
stay  at  the  knoll  was  doing  the  princess  good,  and 
was  certainly  better  for  her  than  life  with  the  crim- 
son baroness  at  the  Grange,  she  was  not  going  to 
annoy  and  discourage  her  charitable  offspring  by 
interfering  in  their  good  work  for  trivial  social 
reasons.  The  baroness  was  bitterly  angry  at  their 
failure  to  recover  her  lost  charge. 

They  discussed  the  further  measures  to  be  taken, 
the  archduke  and  the  baroness  with  asperity, 
Count  Zerbst  gloomily.  He  made  no  secret  of  the 


286  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

fact  that  he  believed  that,  if  he  dressed  for  the 
chase  and  took  to  the  woods,  he  would  in  the  end 
find  and  capture  the  princess,  but  it  might  take  a 
week  or  ten  days.  The  archduke  cried  shame 
upon  a  strategist  of  his  ability  that  he  should  be 
baffled  by  children  for  a  week  or  ten  days.  Count 
Zerbst  said  sulkily  that  it  was  not  the  children  who 
would  baffle  him,  but  the  caves  and  the  woods  they 
were  using.  At  last  they  began  to  discuss  the 
measure  of  summoning  to  their  aid  the  local  police; 
and  for  some  time  debated  whether  it  was  worth 
the  risk  of  the  ridicule  it  might  bring  upon  them. 

Miss  Lambart  had  listened  to  them  with  distrait 
ears  since  she  had  something  more  pleasant  to  give 
her  mind  to.  But  at  last  she  said  with  some  im- 
patience :  "  Why  can't  the  princess  stay  where  she 
is?  That  open-air  life,  day  and  night,  is  doing  her 
a  world  of  good.  She  is  eating  lots  of  good  food 
and  taking  ten  times  as  much  exercise  as  ever  she 
took  in  her  life  before." 

"  Eembossible !  Shall  I  live  in  a  cave  ?  "  cried 
the  baroness. 

"  It  doesn't  matter  at  all  where  you  live.  It  is 
the  princess  we  are  considering,"  said  Miss  Lam- 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  287 

bart  unkindly,  for  she  had  come  quite  to  the  end  of 
her  patience  with  the  baroness. 

"  Drue !  "  said  the  archduke  quickly. 

"  Shall  eet  zen  be  zat  ze  princess  live  ze  life  of 
a  beast  in  a  gave?  "  cried  the  baroness. 

"She  isn't,"  said  Miss  Lambart  shortly.  "In 
fact  she's  leading  a  far  better  and  healthier  and 
more  intelligent  life  than  she  does  here.  The  doc- 
tor's orders  were  never  properly  carried  out." 

"  Ees  zat  zo?"  said  the  archduke,  frowning  at 
the  baroness. 

"  Eengleesh  doctors !  What  zey  know  ?  Mod- 
ern!" cried  the  baroness  scornfully. 

In  loud  and  angry  German  the  archduke  fell 
furiously  upon  the  baroness,  upbraiding  her  for  her 
disobedience  of  his  orders.  The  baroness  de- 
fended herself  loudly,  alleging  that  the  princess 
would  by  now  be  dying  of  a  galloping  consumption 
had  she  had  all  the  air  and  water  the  doctors  had 
ordered  her.  But  the  archduke  stormed  on.  At 
last  he  had  some  one  on  whom  he  could  vent  his 
anger  with  an  excellent  show  of  reason;  and  he 
vented  it. 

Presently,  for  the  sake  of  Miss  Lambart's  coun- 


288  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

sel  in  the  matter,  they  returned  to  the  English 
tongue  and  discussed  seriously  the  matter  of  the 
princess  remaining  at  the  knoll.  They  found 
many  objections  to  it,  and  the  chief  of  them  was 
that  it  was  not  safe  for  three  children  to  be  en- 
camped by  themselves  in  the  heart  of  a  wood. 

Miss  Lambart  grew  tired  of  assuring  them  that 
the  Twins  were  more  eiiicient  persons  than  nine 
Germans  out  of  ten;  and  at  last  she  said: 

"  Well,  Highness,  to  set  your  fears  quite  at 
rest,  I  will  go  and  stay  at  the  knoll  myself.  Then 
you  can  go  back  to  Cassel-Nassau  with  your  mind 
at  ease;  and  I  will  undertake  that  the  princess 
comes  to  you  in  better  health  than  if  she  had  stayed 
on  here." 

"  Bud  'ow  would  she  be  zafer  wiz  a  young 
woman,  ignorant  and — "  cried  the  baroness,  fu- 
rious at  this  attempt  to  usurp  her  authority. 

"  Goot !  "  cried  the  archduke  cutting  her  short ; 
and  his  face  beamed  a.t  the  thought  of  escaping 
forthwith  to  his  home.  "  Eet  shall  be  zo !  And  ze 
baroness  shall  go  alzo  to  Cassel-Nassau  zo  zoon  az 
I  zend  a  lady  who  do  as  ze  doctors  zay." 

So  it  was  settled;  and  Miss  I^ambart  was  busy 


AND  THE  UNREST  CURE  289 

for  an  hour  collecting  provisions,  arranging  that 
fresh  provisions  should  be  brought  to  the  path  to 
the  knoll  every  morning  and  preparing  and  pack- 
ing the  fewest  possible  number  of  garments  she 
would  need  during  her  stay. 

Then  she  bade  the  relieved  archduke  good-by; 
and  set  out  in  the  Rowington  car  to  the  knoll. 
Not  far  from  the  park  gates  she  met  Sir  Maurice 
strolling  toward  the  Grange,  and  took  him  with 
her.  At  the  entrance  of  the  path  to  the  knoll  they 
took  the  baskets  of  provisions  and  Miss  Lambart's 
trunk  from  the  car,  and  dismissed  it.  Then  they 
went  to  the  knoll. 

It  was  silent ;  there  were  no  signs  of  the  presence 
of  man  about  it.  But  after  Sir  Maurice  had 
shouted  three  times  that  they  came  in  peace-bearing 
terms,  Erebus  and  Wiggins  came  out  of  one  of 
the  caves  above  them  and  heard  the  news.  She 
made  haste  to  bear  it  to  the  Terror  and  the 
princess  who  received  it  with  joy.  They  had  al- 
ready been  cooped  up  long  enough  in  the  secret 
caves  and  were  eager  to  plunge  once  more  into  the 
strenuous  life.  They  welcomed  Miss  Lambart 
warmly;  and  the  princess  was  indeed  pleased  to 


290  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

have  her  fears  removed  and  her  position  at  the 
knoll  secure. 

They  made  Miss  Lambart  one  of  themselves  and 
admitted  her  to  a  full  share  of  the  strenuous  life. 
She  played  her  part  in  it  manfully.  Even  Erebus, 
who  was  inclined  to  carp  at  female  attainments, 
was  forced  to  admit  that  as  a  brigand,  an  outlaw,  or 
a  pirate  she  often  shone. 

But  Sir  Maurice,  who  was  naturally  a  frequent 
visitor,  never  caught  her  engaged  in  the  strenuous 
life.  Indeed,  on  his  arrival  she  disappeared;  and 
always  spent  some  minutes  after  his  arrival  remov- 
ing traces  of  the  speed  at  which  she  had  been  living 
it,  and  on  cooling  down  to  life  on  the  lower  place. 
Both  of  them  found  the  knoll  a  delightful  place  for 
lovers. 


CHAPTER  XII 

AND  THE  MUTTLE  DEEPING  FISHING 

* 

SINCE  the  strenuous  life  was  found  to  be  so 
strengthening  to  the  princess,  the  Twins 
stayed  in  camp  a  week  longer  than  had  been  in  the 
beginning  arranged.  Thrown  into  such  intimate 
relations  with  Miss  Lambart,  it  was  only  natural 
that  they  should  grow  very  friendly  with  her.  It 
was  therefore  a  bitter  blow  to  Erebus  to  find  that 
she  was  not  only  engaged  to  their  Uncle  Maurice 
but  also  about  to  be  married  to  him  in  the  course 
of  the  next  few  weeks.  She  grumbled  about  it  to 
the  Terror  and  did  not  hesitate  to  assert  that  his 
bad  example  in  the  matter  of  the  princess  had  put 
the  idea  of  love-making  into  these  older  heads. 
Then,  in  a  heart  to  heart  talk,  she  strove  earnestly 
with  Miss  Lambart,  making  every  effort  to  con- 
vince her  that  love  and  marriage  were  very  silly 
things,  quite  unworthy  of  those  who  led  the  strenu- 
ous life.  She  failed.  Then  she  tried  to  persuade 

291 


292  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

Sir  Maurice  of  that  plain  fact,  and  failed  again. 
He  declared  that  it  was  his  first  duty,  as  an  uncle, 
to  be  married  before  his  nephew,  and  that  if  he 
were  not  quick  about  it  the  Terror  would  certainly 
anticipate  him.  Erebus  carried  his  defense  to  the 
Terror  with  an  air  of  bitter  triumph;  and  there 
was  a  touch  of  disgusted  misanthropy  in  her  man- 
ner for  several  days.  The  princess  on  the  other 
hand  found  the  engagement  the  most  natural  and 
satisfactory  thing  in  the  world.  Her  only  com- 
plaint was  that  she  and  the  Terror  were  not  old 
enough  to  be  married  on  the  same  day  as  Miss 
Lambart. 

Probably  Miss  Lambart  and  Sir  Maurice  enjoyed 
the  life  at  the  knoll  even  more  than  the  children, 
for  the  felicity  of  lovers  is  the  highest  felicity,  and 
the  knoll  is  the  ideal  place  for  them.  Sir  Maurice 
arrived  at  it  not  so  very  much  later,  considering  his 
urban  habit,  than  sunrise;  and  he  did  not  leave  it 
till  long  after  sunset.  But  the  pleasantest  days  will 
come  to  an  end ;  and  the  camp  was  broken  up,  since 
the  archduke's  tenancy  of  the  Grange  expired, 
and  the  princess  must  return  to  Germany.  She 
was  bitterly  grieved  at  parting  with  the  Terror, 


AND  THE  FISHING  293 

and  assured  him  that  she  would  certainly  come  to 
England  the  next  summer,  or  even  earlier,  perhaps 
at  Christmas,  to  see  him  again.  It  seemed  not  un- 
likely that  after  her  short  but  impressive  association 
with  the  Twins  she  would  have  her  way  about  it. 

Nevertheless,  in  spite  of  her  exhaustive  experience 

* 

of  the  strenuous  life,  and  of  the  firm  ideals  of  those 
who  led  it,  at  their  parting  she  cried  in  the  most 
unaffected  fashion. 

Soon  after  her  departure  from  the  Grange  the 
Twins  learned  that  Sir  James  Morgan,  its  owner, 
had  returned  from  Africa,  where  he  had  for  years 
been  hunting  big  game,  and  proposed  to  live  at 
Muttle  Deeping,  at  any  rate  for  a  while.  It  had 
always  been  their  keen  desire  to  fish  the  Grange 
water,  for  it  had  been  carefully  preserved  and  little 
fished  all  the  years  Sir  James  had  been  wandering 
about  the  world.  But  Mr.  Hilton,  the  steward  of 
the  Grange  estate,  had  always  refused  their  request. 
He  believed  that  their  presence  would  be  good 
neither  for  the  stream,  the  fish,  nor  the  estate. 

But  now  that  they  were  no  longer  dealing  with 
an  underling  whom  they  felt  to  be  prejudiced,  but 
with  the  owner  himself,  they  thought  that  they 


294  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

might  be  able  to  compass  their  desire.  Also  they 
felt  that  the  sooner  they  made  the  attempt  to  do  so 
the  better:  Sir  James  might  hear  unfavorable 
accounts  of  them,  if  they  gave  him  time  to  consort 
freely  with  his  neighbors.  Therefore,  with  the 
help  of  their  literary  mainstay,  Wiggins,  they  com- 
posed a  honeyed  letter  to  him,  asking  leave  to  fish 
the  Grange  water.  Sir  James  consulted  Mr.  Hil- 
ton about  the  letter,  received  an  account  of  the 
Twins  from  him  which  made  him  loath  indeed  to 
give  them  leave;  and  since  he  had  used  a  pen  so 
little  for  so  many  years  that  it  had  become  distaste- 
ful to  him  to  use  it  at  all,  he  left  their  honeyed 
missive  unanswered. 

The  Twins  waited  patiently  for  an  answer  for 
several  days.  Then  it  was  slowly  borne  in  upon 
them  that  Sir  James  did  not  mean  to  answer  their 
letter  at  all;  and  they  grew  very  angry  indeed. 
Their  anger  was  in  close  proportion  to  the  pains 
they  had  spent  on  the  letter.  The  name  of  Sir 
James  was  added  to  the  list  of  proscribed  persons 
they  carried  in  their  retentive  minds. 

It  did  not  seem  likely  that  they  would  get  any 
chance  of  punishing  him  for  the  affront  he  had  put 


AND  THE  FISHING  295 

on  them.  Scorching,  in  his  feverish,  Central 
African  way,  along  the  road  to  Rowington  in  a 
very  powerful  motor-car,  he  looked  well  beyond 
their  reach.  But  Fortune  favors  the  industrious 
who  watch  their  chances;  and  one  evening  Erebus 
came  bicycling  swiftly  up  to  the  cats'  home,  and 
cried : 

"  As  I  came  over  Long  Ridge  I  saw  Sir  James 
Morgan  poaching  old  Glazebrook's  water ! " 

The  Terror  did  not  cease  from  carefully  consid- 
ering the  kitten  in  his  hands,  for  he  was  making  a 
selection  to  send  to  Rowington  market. 

"Are  you  sure?"  he  said  calmly.  "It's  a  long 
way  from  the  ridge  to  the  stream." 

"  Not  for  my  eyes ! "  said  Erebus  with  some 
measure  of  impatience  in  her  tone.  "  I'm  quite 
sure  that  it  was  Sir  James ;  and  I'm  quite  sure  that 
it  was  old  Glazebrook's  meadow.  Lend  me  your 
handkerchief." 

The  handkerchief  that  the  Terror  lent  her 
might  have  easily  been  of  a  less  pronounced  gray; 
but  Erebus  mopped  her  beaded  brow  with  it  in  a 
perfect  content.  She  had  ridden  home  as  fast  as 
she  could  ride  with  her  interesting  news. 


296  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"  I  wish  I'd  seen  him  too,"  said  the  Terror 
thoughtfully. 

"It's  quite  enough  for  me  to  have  seen  him!" 
said  Erebus  with  some  heat. 

"  It  would  be  better  if  we'd  both  seen  him,"  said 
the  Terror  firmly. 

"It's  such  beastly  cheek  his  poaching  himself 
after  taking  no  notice  of  our  letter!"  said  Erebus 
indignantly. 

"  Yes,  it  is,"  said  the  Terror. 

She  went  on  to  set  forth  the  enormity  of  the 
conduct  of  their  neighbor  at  considerable  length. 
The  Terror  said  nothing;  he  did  not  look  to  be 
listening  to  her.  In  truth  he  was  considering  what 
advantage  might  be  drawn  from  Sir  James'  trans- 
gression. 

At  last  he  said :  "  The  first  thing  to  do  is  for 
both  of  us  to  catch  him  poaching." 

Erebus  protested;  but  the  Terror  carried  his 
point,  with  the  result  that  two  evenings  later  they 
were  in  the  wood  above  the  trout-stream,  stretched 
at  full  length  in  the  bracken,  peering  through  the 
hedge  of  the  wood  at  Sir  James  Morgan  so  pa- 
tiently and  vainly  fishing  the  stream  below. 


AND  THE  FISHING  297 

"  He'll  soon  be  at  the  boundary  fence,"  said  the 
Terror  in  a  hushed  voice  of  quiet  satisfaction. 

"  If  only  he  goes  on  catching  nothing  on  this 
side  of  it !  "  said  Erebus  who  kept  wriggling  in  a 
nervous  impatience. 

"  It's  on  the  other  side  of  it  they're  rising,"  said 
the  Terror  in  a  calmly  hopeful  tone. 

Sir  James,  unconscious  of  those  eagerly  gazing 
eyes,  made  vain  cast  after  vain  cast.  He  was  a  big 
game  hunter ;  he  had  given  but  little  time  and  pains 
to  this  milder  sport;  and  he  came  to  the  fence  at 
which  his  water  ceased  and  that  of  Mr.  Glazebrook 
began,  with  his  basket  still  empty  of  trout.  He 
looked  longingly  at  his  neighbor's  water;  as  the 
Terror  had  said,  the  trout  in  it  were  rising  freely. 
Then  the  watchers  saw  him  shrug  his  shoulders  and 
turn  back. 

"  He's  not  going  to  poach,  after  all !  "  cried  Ere- 
bus in  a  tone  of  acute  disappointment. 

"  Look  here :  are  you  really  quite  sure  you  saw 
him  poaching  at  all?  Long  Ridge  is  a  good  way 
off,"  said  the  Terror  looking  across  to  it. 

"  I  did.  I  tell  you  he  was  half-way  down  old 
Glazebrook's  meadow,"  said  Erebus  firmly. 


298  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"  It's  very  disappointing,"  said  the  Terror, 
frowning  at  the  disobliging  fisherman;  then  he 
added  with  philosophic  calm :  "  Well,  it  can't  be 
helped;  we've  got  to  go  on  watching  him  every 
evening  till  he  does.  If  he's  poached  once,  he'll 
poach  again." 

"  Look !  "  said  Erebus,  gripping  his  arm. 

Sir  James  had  stopped  fishing  and  was  walking 
back  to  the  boundary  fence.  He  stood  for  a  while 
beside  the  gap  in  it,  hesitating,  scanning  the  little 
valley  down  which  the  stream  ran,  with  his  keen 
hunter's  eyes.  It  is  to  be  feared  that  he  had  been 
too  long  used  to  the  high-handed  methods  that 
prevail  in  the  ends  of  the  earth  where  big  game 
dwell,  to  have  a  proper  sense  of  the  sanctity  of  his 
neighbor's  fish.  Moreover,  Mr.  Glazebrook  was 
guilty  of  the  practise  of  netting  his  water  and  send- 
ing the  trout,  alive  in  cans,  to  a  London  restaurant. 
Sir  James  felt  strongly  that  it  was  his  duty  as  a 
sportsman  to  give  them  the  chance  of  making  a 
sportsmanlike  end. 

But  Mr.  Glazebrook  was  an  uncommonly  dis- 
agreeable man ;  and  since  Glazebrook  farm  marched 
with  the  western  meadows  of  the  Morgans,  the 


AND  THE  FISHING  299 

Morgans  and  the  Glazebrooks  had  been  at  logger- 
heads for  at  least  fifty  years.  Assuredly  the 
farmer  would  prosecute  Sir  James,  if  he  caught  him 
poaching. 

Yet  the  valley  and  the  meadows  down  the  stream 
were  empty  of  human  beings;  and  as  for  the  wood, 
there  would  be  no  one  but  his  own  keeper  in  the 
wood.  Doubtless  that  keeper  would,  from  the  ab- 
stract point  of  view,  regard  poaching  with  ab- 
horrence. But  he  would  perceive  that  his  master 
was  doing  a  real  kindness  to  the  Glazebrook  trout 
by  giving  them  that  chance  of  making  a  sportsman- 
like end.  At  any  rate  the  keeper  would  hold  his 
tongue. 

Sir  James  climbed  through  the  gap. 

The  Twins  breathed  a  simultaneous  sigh  of  re- 
lief; and  Erebus  said  in  a  tone  of  triumph: 
"  Well,  he's  gone  and  done  it  now." 

"  Yes,  we've  got  him  all  right,"  said  the  Terror 
in  a  tone  of  calm  thankfulness. 

Fortune  favored  the  unscrupulous;  and  in  the 
next  forty  minutes  Sir  James  caught  three  good 
fish. 

He  had  just  landed  the  third  when  the  keen  eyes 


300  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

of  Erebus  espied  a  figure  coming  up  the  bank  of 
the  stream  two  meadows  away. 

"Look!  There's  old  Glazebrook!  He'll  catch 
him!  Won't  it  be  fun?"  she  cried,  wriggling  in 
her  joy. 

The  Terror  gazed  thoughtfully  at  the  approach- 
ing figure;  then  he  said:  "Yes:  it  would  be  fun. 
There'd  be  no  end  of  a  row.  But  it  wouldn't  be 
any  use  to  us.  I'm  going  to  warn  him." 

With  that  he  sent  a  clear  cry  of  "  Cave!  "  ring- 
ing down  the  stream. 

In  ten  seconds  Sir  James  was  back  on  his  own 
land. 

The  Twins  crawled  through  the  bracken  to  a 
narrow  path,  went  swiftly  and  noiselessly  down  it, 
and  through  a  little  gate  on  to  the  high  road. 

As  he  set  foot  on  it  the  Terror  said  with  cold 
vindictiveness :  "  We'll  teach  him  not  to  answer 
our  letters." 

He  climbed  over  a  gate  into  a  meadow  on  the 
other  side  of  the  road,  took  their  bicycles  one  after 
the  other  from  behind  the  hedge,  and  lifted  them 
over  the  gate.  They  reached  home  in  time  for 
dinner. 


AND  THE  FISHING  301 

During  the  meal  Mrs.  Dangerfield  asked  how 
they  had  been  spending  the  time  since  tea;  and  the 
Terror  said,  quite  truthfully,  that  they  had  been  for 
a  bicycle  ride.  She  did  not  press  him  to  be  more 
particular  in  his  account  of  their  doings,  though 
from  Erebus'  air  of  subdued  excitement  and  ex- 
pectancy she  was  aware  that  some  important  enter- 
prise was  in  hand;  she  had  no  desire  to  put  any 
strain  on  the  Terror's  uncommon  power  of  polite 
evasion. 

She  was  not  at  all  surprised  when,  at  nine  o'clock, 
she  went  out  into  the  garden  and  called  to  them 
that  it  was  bedtime,  to  find  that  they  were  not 
within  hearing.  She  told  herself  that  she  would  be 
lucky  if  she  got  them  to  bed  by  ten.  But  she 
would  have  been  surprised,  indeed,  had  she  seen 
them,  half  an  hour  earlier,  slip  out  of  the  back  door, 
in  a  condition  of  exemplary  tidiness,  dressed  in 
their  Sunday  best. 

They  wheeled  their  bicycles  out  of  the  cats' 
home  quietly,  mounted,  rode  quickly  down  the  road 
till  they  were  out  of  hearing  of  the  house,  and  then 
slackened  their  pace  in  order  to  reach  their  destina- 
tion cool  and  tidy.  They  timed  their  arrival  with 


302  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

such  nicety  that  as  they  dismounted  before  the  door 
of  Deeping  Hall,  Sir  James  Morgan,  in  the  content 
inspired  by  an  excellent  dinner,  was  settling  himself 
comfortably  in  an  easy  chair  in  his  smoking-room. 

They  mounted  the  steps  of  the  Court  without  a 
tremor:  they  were  not  only  assured  of  the  justice 
of  their  cause,  they  were  assured  that  it  would  pre- 
vail. A  landed  proprietor  who  preserves  his 
pheasants  and  his  fish  with  the  usual  strictness, 
can  not  allow  himself  to  be  prosecuted  for  poach- 
ing. 

The  Terror  rang  the  bell  firmly;  and  Mawley, 
the  butler,  surprised  at  the  coming  of  visitors  at  so 
late  an  hour,  opened  the  door  himself. 

"Good  evening,  Mr.  Mawley,  we  want  to  see 
Sir  James  on  important  business,"  said  the  Terror 
with  a  truly  businesslike  air. 

Mawley  had  come  to  the  Grange  in  the  train  of 
the  Princess  Elizabeth;  and  since  he  found  the 
Deeping  air  uncommonly  bracing,  he  had  permitted 
Sir  James  to  keep  him  on  at  the  Grange  after  her 
return  to  Cassel-Nassau.  He  had  made  the  ac- 
quaintance of  the  Twins  during  the  last  days  of  her 
stay,  after  the  camp  had  been  broken  up,  and  had 


AND  THE  FISHING  303 

formed  a  high  opinion  of  their  ability  and  their 
manners.  Moreover,  of  a  very  susceptible  nature, 
he  had  a  warm  admiration  of  Mrs.  Dangerfield 
whom  he  saw  every  Sunday  at  Little  Deeping 
church. 

None  the  less  he  looked  at  them  doubtfully,  and 
said  in  a  reproachful  tone:  "It's  very  late,  Mas- 
ter Terror.  You  can't  expect  Sir  James  to  see 
people  at  this  hour." 

"  I  know  it's  late ;  but  the  business  is  important 
—  very  important,"  said  the  Terror  firmly. 

Mawley  hesitated.  His  admiration  of  Mrs. 
Dangerfield  made  him  desirous  of  obliging  her 
children.  Then  he  said: 

"If  you'll  sit  down  a  minute,  I'll  tell  Sir  James 
that  you're  here." 

"Thank  you,"  said  the  Terror;  and  he  and 
Erebus  came  into  the  great  hall,  sat  down  on  a 
couch  covered  by  a  large  bearskin,  and  gazed  round 
them  at  the  arms  and  armor  with  appreciative  eyes. 

Mawley  found  Sir  James  lighting  a  big  cigar; 
and  told  him  that  Master  and  Miss  Dangerfield 
wished  to  see  him  on  business. 

"  Oh  ?     They're  the  two  children  who  wrote  and 


304  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

asked  me  for  leave  to  fish.  But  Hilton  told  me 
that  they  were  the  most  mischievous  little  devils  in 
the  county,  so  I  took  no  notice  of  their  letter,"  said 
Sir  James. 

"  Well,  being  your  steward,  Sir  James,  Mr.  Hil- 
ton would  be  bound  to  tell  you  so.  But  it's  my 
belief  that,  having  the  name  for  it,  a  lot  of  mischief 
is  put  down  to  them  which  they  never  do.  And 
after  all  they're  Dangerfields,  Sir  James;  and  you 
couldn't  expect  them  to  behave  like  ordinary  chil- 
dren," said  Mawley  in  the  tone  and  manner  of  a 
persuasive  diplomat. 

"  Well,  I  don't  see  myself  giving  them  leave  to 
fish,"  said  Sir  James.  "  There  are  none  too  many 
fish  in  the  stream  as  it  is;  and  a  couple  of  noisy 
children  won't  make  those  easier  to  catch.  But  I 
may  as  well  tell  them  so  myself;  so  you  may  bring 
them  here." 

Mawley  fetched  the  Twins  and  ushered  them  into 
the  smoking-room.  They  entered  it  with  the  self- 
possessed  air  of  persons  quite  sure  of  themselves, 
and  greeted  Sir  James  politely. 

He  was  somewhat  taken  aback  by  their  appear- 
ance and  air,  for  his  steward  had  somehow  given 


AND  THE  FISHING  305 

him  the  impression  that  they  were  thick,  red- faced 
and  robustious.  He  felt  that  these  pleasant-look- 
ing young  gentlefolk  could  never  have  really 
earned  their  unfortunate  reputation.  There  must 
be  a  mistake  somewhere. 

The  Twins  were,  on  their  part  also,  far  more 
favorably  impressed  by  him  than  they  had  looked 
to  be;  his  lean  tanned  face,  with  the  rather  large 
arched  nose,  the  thin-lipped  melancholy  mouth,  not 
at  all  hidden  by  the  small  clipped  mustache,  and 
his  keen  eyes,  almost  as  blue  as  those  of  the  Ter- 
ror, pleased  them.  He  looked  an  uncommonly 
dependable  baronet. 

"  Well,  and  what  is  this  important  matter  you 
wished  to  see  me  about  ?  "  he  said  in  a  more  indul- 
gent tone  than  he  had  expected  to  use. 

"  We  saw  you  in  Glazebrook's  meadow  this  after- 
noon —  poaching,"  said  the  Terror  in  a  gentle,  al- 
most deprecatory  tone. 

Sir  James  sat  rather  more  upright  in  his  chair, 
with  a  sudden  sense  of  discomfort.  He  had  not 
connected  this  visit  with  his  transgression. 

"And  you  caught  three  fish,"  said  Erebus  in  a 
sterner  voice. 


306  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"Oh?  Then  it  was  one  of  you  who  called 
'  Cave ! '  from  the  wood  ?  "  said  Sir  James. 

"  Yes ;  we  didn't  want  old  Glazebrook  to  catch 
you,"  said  the  Terror. 

"  Oh  —  er  —  thanks,"  said  Sir  James  in  a  tone 
of  discomfort. 

"  That  wouldn't  have  been  any  use  to  us,"  said 
the  Terror. 

"  Of  use  to  you?  "  said  Sir  James. 

"Yes;  if  he'd  caught  you,  there  wouldn't  be  any 
reason  why  we  should  fish  your  water,"  said  the 
Terror. 

Sir  James  looked  puzzled: 

"  But  is  there  any  reason  now  ?  "  he  said. 

"  Yes.  You  see,  you  were  poaching,"  said  the 
Terror  in  a  very  gentle  explanatory  voice. 

"  And  you  caught  three  fish,"  said  Erebus  in 
something  of  the  manner  of  a  chorus  in  an  Athe- 
nian tragedy. 

Sir  James  sat  bolt  upright  with  a  sudden  air  of 
astonished  enlightenment : 

"  Well,  I'm  —  hanged  if  it  isn't  blackmail !  "  he 
cried. 

"  Blackmail  ? "   said   the   Terror   in   a   tone   of 


AND  THE  FISHING  307 

pleasant  animation.  "  Why,  that's  what  the  Scotch 
reavers  used  to  do!  I  never  knew  exactly  what  it 
was." 

"  And  we're  doing  it.  That  is  nice,"  said  Ere- 
bus, almost  preening  herself. 

"  But  this  is  disgraceful!  If  you'd  been  village 
children  —  but  gentlefolk!"  cried  Sir  James  with 
considerable  heat. 

"Well,  the  Douglases  were  gentlefolk;  and 
they  blackmailed,"  said  the  Terror  in  a  tone  of 
sweet  reason. 

"  Poaching's  a  misdemeanor ;  blackmailing's  a 
kind  of  stealing,"  said  Erebus  virtuously,  forgetting 
for  the  moment  her  mother's  fur  stole. 

"  Poaching's  a  misdemeanor ;  blackmailing's  a 
felony,"  said  Sir  James  loftily. 

The  distinction  was  lost  on  the  Twins ;  and  Ere- 
bus said  with  conviction  :  "  Poaching's  worse." 

Sir  James  hated  to  be  beaten;  and  he  looked 
from  one  to  the  other  with  very  angry  eyes.  The 
Twins  wore  a  cold  imperturbable  air.  Their  ap- 
pearance no  longer  pleased  him. 

"  It's  your  own  fault  entirely,"  said  the  Terror 
coldly.  "If  you'd  been  civil  and  answered  our 


3o8  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

letter,  even  refusing,  we  shouldn't  have  bothered 
about  you.  But  you  didn't  take  any  notice  of 
it—" 

"  And  it  was  beastly  cheek,"  said  Erebus. 

"You  couldn't  expect  us  to  stand  that  kind  of 
thing.  So  we  kept  an  eye  on  you  and  caught  you 
poaching,"  said  the  Terror. 

"  Without  any  excuse  for  it.  You've  plenty  of 
fishing  of  your  own,"  said  Erebus  severely. 

"  And  if  I  don't  give  you  leave  to  fish  my  water, 
you're  going  to  sneak  to  the  police,  are  you?  "  said 
Sir  James  in  a  tone  of  angry  disgust. 

The  Terror  flushed  and  with  a  very  cold  dignity 
said:  "We  aren't  going  to  do  anything  of  the 
kind;  and  we  don't  want  any  leave  to  fish  your 
water  at  all.  We're  just  going  to  fish  it;  and  if 
you  go  sneaking  to  the  police  and  prosecuting  us, 
then  after  you've  started  it  you'll  get  prosecuted 
yourself  by  old  Glazebrook.  That's  what  we  came 
to  say." 

"And  that'll  teach  you  to  be  polite  and  answer 
people  next  time  they  write  to  you,"  said  Erebus  in 
a  tone  of  cold  triumph. 

On  her  words  they  rose;  and  while  Sir  James 


AND  THE  FISHING  309 

was  struggling  furiously  to  find  words  suitable  to 
their  tender  years,  they  bade  him  a  polite  good 
night,  and  left  the  room. 

Their  departure  was  a  relief;  Sir  James  rose 
hastily  to  his  feet  and  expressed  his  feelings  with- 
out difficulty.  Then  he  began  to  laugh.  It  was 
rather  on  the  wrong  side  of  his  face ;  and  the  knowl- 
edge that  he  had  been  worsted  in  his  own  smoking- 
room,  and  that  by  two  children,  rankled.  He  was 
not  used  to  being  worsted,  even  in  the  heart  of 
Africa,  by  much  more  ferocious  creatures.  But 
after  sleeping  on  the  matter,  he  perceived  yet  more 
clearly  that  they  had  him,  as  he  phrased  it,  in  a 
cleft  stick;  and  he  told  his  head-keeper  that  the 
Dangerfield  children  were  allowed  to  fish  his  water. 


CHAPTER  XIII 

AND   AN   APOLOGY 

THE   vindication   of   their   dignity   filled   the 
Twins   with   a  cold  undated  triumph;  but 
they  enjoyed  the  liveliest  satisfaction  in  being  able 
to   fish   in   well-stocked  water,  because  the  trout 
tempted  their  mother's  faint  appetite. 

She  had  grown  stronger  during  the  summer. 
She  was  not,  indeed,  definitely  ill ;  she  was  not  even 
definitely  weak.  But,  a  woman  of  spirit  and  in- 
telligence, she  was  suffering  from  the  wearisome 
emptiness  of  her  life  in  the  country.  It  was  sap- 
ping her  strength  and  energy ;  in  it  she  would  grow 
old  long  before  her  time.  The  Twins  had  been 
used  to  find  her  livelier  and  more  spirited,  keenly 
interested  in  their  doings;  and  the  change  troubled 
them.  Doctor  Arbuthnot  prescribed  a  tonic  for 
her;  and  now  and  again,  as  in  the  matter  of  the 
peaches  and  now  of  the  trout,  they  set  themselves  to 

310 


AND  AN  APOLOGY  311 

procure  some  delicacy  for  her.  But  she  made  no 
real  improvement;  and  the  empty  country  life  was 
poisoning  the  springs  of  her  being. 

Sir  James  had  expected  to  be  annoyed  fre- 
quently by  the  sight  and  sound  of  the  Twins  on  the 
bank  of  the  stream.  To  his  pleased  surprise  he 
neither  saw  nor  heard  them.  For  the  most  part 
they  fished  in  the  early  morning  and  brought  their 
catch  home  to  tempt  their  mother's  appetite  at 
breakfast.  But  if  they  did  fish  in  the  evening,  one 
or  the  other  acted  as  scout,  watching  Sir  James' 
movements;  and  they  kept  out  of  his  sight.  They 
had  gained  their  end ;  and  their  natural  delicacy  as- 
sured them  that  the  sight  of  them  could  not  be 
pleasant  to  Sir  James.  As  the  Terror  phrased  it : 

"  He  must  be  pretty  sick  at  getting  a  lesson ;  and 
there's  no  point  in  rubbing  it  in." 

Then  one  evening  (by  no  fault  of  theirs)  he  came 
upon  them.  Erebus  was  playing  a  big  trout;  and 
she  had  no  thought  of  abandoning  it  to  spare  Sir 
James'  feelings.  Besides,  if  she  had  had  such  a 
thought,  it  was  impracticable,  since  Mrs.  Danger- 
field  had  come  with  them. 

He  watched   Erebus  play  her  fish   for  two  or 


312  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

three  minutes;  then  it  snapped  the  gut  and  was 
gone. 

"  Evidently  you're  no  so  good  at  fishing  as  black- 
mailing," said  Sir  James  in  a  nasty  carping  tone, 
for  the  fact  that  they  had  worsted  him  still  rankled 
in  his  heart. 

"  I  catch  more  fish  than  you  do,  anyhow !  "  said 
Erebus  with  some  heat;  and  she  cast  an  uneasy 
glance  over  his  shoulder. 

Sir  James  turned  to  see  what  she  had  glanced  at 
and  found  himself  looking  into  the  deep  brown 
eyes  of  a  very  pretty  woman. 

He  had  not  seen  her  when  he  had  come  out  of 
the  bushes  on  to  the  scene  of  the  struggle;  he  had 
been  too  deeply  interested  in  it  to  remove  his  eyes 
from  it;  and  she  had  watched  it  from  behind  him. 

"  This  is  Sir  James  Morgan,  mother,"  said  the 
Terror  quickly. 

Sir  James  raised  his  cap;  Mrs.  Dangerfield 
bowed,  and  said  gratefully :  "  It  was  very  good  of 
you  to  give  my  children  leave  to  fish." 

"  Oh  —  ah  —  yes  —  n-n-not  at  all,"  stammered 
Sir  James,  blushing  faintly. 


• 


Sir  James  turned  and  found  himself  looking  into  the  deep  brown  eyes 
of  a  very  pretty  woman 


AND  AN  APOLOGY  313 

He  was  unused  to  women  and  found  her  pres- 
ence confusing. 

"  Oh,  but  it  was,"  said  Mrs.  Dangerfield.  "  And 
I'm  seeing  that  they  don't  take  an  unfair  advantage 
of  your  kindness,  for  they  told  me  that,  thanks  to 
Mr.  Glazebrook's  netting  his  part  of  it,  there  are 
none  too  many  fish  in  the  stream." 

"  It's  very  good  of  you.  B-b-but  I  don't  mind 
how  many  they  catch,"  said  Sir  James. 

He  shuffled  his  feet  and  gazed  rather  wildly 
round  him,  for  he  wished  to  remove  himself  swiftly 
from  her  disturbing  presence.  Yet  he  did  not 
wish  to;  he  found  her  voice  as  charming  as  her 
eyes. 

Mrs.  Dangerfield  laughed  gently,  and  said: 
:<  You  would,  if  I  let  them  catch  as  many  as  they'd 
like  to." 

"  Are  they  as  good  fishermen  as  that  ?  "  said  Sir 
James. 

"  Well,  they've  been  fishing  ever  since  they  could 
handle  a  rod.  They  are  supposed  to  empty  the  free 
water  by  Little  Deeping  Village  every  spring.  So 
I  limit  them  to  three  fish  a  day,"  said  Mrs.  Danger- 


314  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

field;  and  there  was  a  ring  of  motherly  pride  in  her 
voice  which  pleased  him. 

"  It's  very  good  of  you,"  said  Sir  James.  He 
hesitated,  shuffled  his  feet  again,  took  a  step  to  go; 
then  looking  rather  earnestly  at  Mrs.  Dangerfield, 
he  added  in  a  rather  uncertain  voice :  "  I  should 
like  to  stay  and  see  how  they  do  it.  I  might  pick 
up  a  wrinkle  or  two." 

"  Of  course.     Why,  it's  your  stream,"  she  said. 

He  stayed,  but  he  paid  far  more  attention  to 
Mrs.  Dangerfield  than  to  the  fishing.  Besides  her 
charming  eyes  and  delightful  voice,  her  air  of 
fragility  made  a  strong  appeal  to  his  vigorous 
robustness.  His  first  discomfort  sternly  van- 
quished, its  place  was  taken  by  the  keenest  desire 
to  remain  in  her  presence.  He  not  only  stayed 
with  them  till  the  Twins  had  caught  their  three 
fish,  but  he  walked  nearly  to  Colet  House  with 
them,  and  at  last  bade  them  good-by  with  an  air  of 
the  deepest  reluctance.  It  can  hardly  be  doubted 
that  he  had  been  smitten  by  an  emotional  lightning- 
stroke,  as  the  French  put  it,  or,  as  we  more  gently 
phrase  it,  that  he  had  fallen  in  love  at  first  sight. 

As  he  walked  back  to  the  Grange  he  was  re- 


AND  AN  APOLOGY  315 

gretting  that  he  had  not  received  the  social  advances 
of  his  neighbors  with  greater  warmth.  If,  instead 
of  staying  firmly  at  home,  he  had  been  moving 
about  among  them,  he  would  have  met  Mrs.  Dan- 
gerfield  earlier  and  by  now  be  in  a  fortunate  condi- 
tion of  meeting  her  often.  It  did  not  for  a  moment 
enter  4iis  mind  that  if  he  had  met  her  stiffly  in  a 
drawing-room  he  might  easily  have  failed  to  fall 
in  love  with  her  at  all.  He  cudgeled  his  brains 
to  find  some  way  of  meeting  her  again  and  meeting 
her  often.  He  was  to  meet  her  quite  soon  without 
any  effort  on  his  part. 

It  is  possible  that  Mrs.  Dangerfield  had  observed 
that  Sir  James  had  been  smitten  by  that  emotional 
coup  de  foudre,  for  she  was  walking  with  a  much 
brisker  step  and  there  was  a  warmer  color  in  her 
cheeks. 

After  he  had  bidden  them  good-by  and  had  turned 
back  to  the  Grange,  she  said  in  a  really  cheerful 
tone: 

"  I  expect  Sir  James  finds  it  rather  dull  at 
the  Grange  after  the  exciting  life  he  had  in  Africa." 

"  Rather!"  said  the  Twins  with  one  quickly  as- 
senting voice. 


3i6  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

She  had  not  missed  Sir  James'  sentence  about  the 
superiority  of  Erebus'  blackmailing  to  her  fishing. 
But  she  knew  the  Twins  far  too  well  to  ask  them 
for  an  explanation  of  it  before  him.  None  the  less 
it  clung  to  her  mind. 

At  supper  therefore  she  said :  "  What  did  Sir 
James  mean  by  calling  you  a  blackmailer,  Erebus?  " 

The  Terror  knew  from  her  tone  that  she  was  re- 
solved to  have  the  explanation ;  and  he  said  suavely : 
"  Oh,  it  was  about  the  fishing." 

"  How  —  about  the  fishing?  "  said  Mrs.  Danger- 
field  quickly. 

"  Well,  he  didn't  want  to  give  us  leave.  In  fact 
he  never  answered  our  letter  asking  for  it,"  said  the 
Terror. 

"  And  of  course  we  couldn't  stand  that ;  and  we 
had  to  make  him,"  said  Erebus  sternly. 

"Make  him?  How  did  you  make  him?"  said 
Mrs.  Dangerfield. 

The  Terror  told  her. 

Mrs.  Dangerfield  looked  surprised  and  annoyed, 
but  much  less  surprised  and  annoyed  than  the  ordi- 
nary mother  would  have  looked  on  learning  that  her 
offspring  had  blackmailed  a  complete  stranger.  She 


AND  AN  APOLOGY  317 

felt  chiefly  annoyed  by  the  fact  that  the  complete 
stranger  they  had  chosen  to  blackmail  should  be  Sir 
James. 

"  Then  you  did  blackmail  him,"  she  said  in  a 
tone  of  dismay. 

"  He  seemed  to  think  that  we  were  —  like  the 
Dpuglases  used  to,"  said  the  Terror  in  an  amiable 
tone. 

"  But  surely  you  knew  that  blackmailing  is  very 
wrong  —  very  wrong,  indeed,"  said  Mrs.  Danger- 
field. 

"  Well,  he  did  seem  to  think  so,"  said  the  Terror. 
"  But  we  thought  he  was  prejudiced;  and  we  didn't 
take  much  notice  of  him." 

"  And  we  couldn't  possibly  let  him  take  no  notice 
of  our  letter,  Mum  —  it  was  such  a  polite  letter  — 
and  not  take  it  out  of  him,"  said  Erebus. 

"  And  it  hasn't  done  any  harm,  you  know.  We 
wanted  those  trout  ever  so  much  more  than  he  did," 
said  the  Terror. 

Mrs.  Dangerfield  said  nothing  for  a  while;  and 
her  frown  deepened  as  she  pondered  how  to  deal 
with  the  affair.  She  was  still  chiefly  annoyed  that 
Sir  James  should  have  been  the  victim.  The  Twins 


318  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

gazed  at  her  with  a  sympathetic  gravity  which  by 
no  means  meant  that  they  were  burdened  by  a  sense 
of  wrong-doing.  They  were  merely  sorry  that  she 
was  annoyed. 

"  Well,  there's  nothing  for  it :  you'll  have  to  apol- 
ogize to  Sir  James  —  both  of  you,"  she  said  at  last. 

"  Apologize  to  him !  But  he  never  answered  our 
letter !  "  cried  Erebus. 

The  Terror  hesitated  a  moment,  opened  his  mouth 
to  speak,  shut  it,  opened  it  again  and  said  in  a  sooth- 
ing tone:  "All  right,  Mum;  we'll  apologize." 

"  I'll  take  you  to  the  Grange  to-morrow  afternoon 
to  do  it,"  said  Mrs.  Dangerfield,  for  she  thought 
that  unless  she  were  present  the  Twins  would  surely 
contrive  to  repeat  the  offense  in  the  apology  and 
compel  Sir  James  to  invite  them  to  continue  to 
fish. 

There  had  been  some  such  intention  in  the  Ter- 
ror's mind,  for  his  face  fell:  an  apology  in  the 
presence  of  his  mother  would  have  to  be  a  real 
apology.  But  he  said  amiably :  "  All  right ;  just 
as  you  like,  Mum." 

Erebus  scowled  very  darkly,  and  muttered  fierce 
things  under  her  breath.  After  supper,  without 


AND  AN  APOLOGY  319 

moving  him  at  all,  she  reproached  the  Terror  bit- 
terly for  not  refusing  firmly. 

The  next  afternoon  therefore  the  three  of  them 
walked,  by  a  foot-path  across  the  fields,  to  the 
Grange.  Surprise  and  extreme  pleasure  were 
mingled  with  the  respect  with  which  Mawley  ush- 
ered them  into  the  drawing-room;  and  he  almost 
ran  to  apprise  Sir  James  of  their  coming. 

Sir  James  was  at  the  moment  wondering  very 
anxiously  whether  he  would  find  Mrs.  Dangerfield 
on  the  bank  of  the  stream  that  evening  watching 
her  children  fish.  His  night's  rest  had  trebled  his 
interest  in  her  and  his  desire  to  see  more,  a  great 
deal  more,  of  her.  The  appeal  to  him  of  her  frail 
and  delicate  beauty  was  stronger  than  ever. 

At  dinner  the  night  before  he  had  questioned 
Mawley,  with  a  careless  enough  air,  about  her,  and 
had  learned  that  Mr.  Dangerfield  had  been  dead 
seven  years,  that  she  had  a  very  small  income,  and 
was  hard  put  to  it  to  make  both  ends  meet.  His 
compassion  had  been  deeply  stirred;  she  was  so 
plainly  a  creature  who  deserved  the  smoothest  path 
in  life.  He  wished  that  he  could  now,  at  once,  see 
his  way  to  help  her  to  that  smoothest  path ;  and  he 


320  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

was  resolved  to  find  that  way  as  soon  as  he  possibly 
could. 

When  Mawley  told  him  that  she  was  in  his  draw- 
ing-room, he  could  scarcely  believe  his  joyful  ears. 
He  had  to  put  a  constraint  on  himself  to  walk  to  its 
door  in  a  decorous  fashion  fit  for  Mawley's  eyes, 
and  not  dash  to  it  at  full  speed.  He  entered  the 
room  with  his  eyes  shining  very  brightly. 

Mrs.  Dangerfield  greeted  him  coldly,  even  a  little 
haughtily.  She  was  looking  grave  and  ill  at  ease. 

"  I've  come  about  a  rather  unpleasant  matter,  Sir 
James,"  she  said  as  they  shook  hands.  "  I  find  that 
these  children  have  been  blackmailing  you ;  and  I've 
brought  them  to  apologize.  I  —  I'm  exceedingly 
distressed  about  it." 

"  Oh,  there's  no  need  to  be  —  no  need  at  all.  It 
was  rather  a  joke,"  Sir  James  protested  quickly. 

"  But  blackmailing  isn't  a  joke  —  though  of 
course  they  didn't  realize  what  a  serious  thing  it 


is—" 


"  It  was  the  Douglases  doing  it,"  broke  in  the 
Terror  in  an  explanatory  tone. 

"I  don't  think  you  ought  to  have  given  way  to 
them,  Sir  James,"  said  Mrs.  Dangerfield  severely. 


AND  AN  APOLOGY  321 

"  But  I  hadn't  any  choice.  I  assure  you.  They 
had  me  in  a  cleft  stick,"  protested  Sir  James. 

"  Well  then  you  ought  to  have  come  straight  to 
me,"  said  Mrs.  Dangerfield. 

"  Oh,  but  really  —  a  little  fishing  —  what  is  a 
little  fishing?  I  couldn't  come  bothering  you  about 
a  thing  like  that,"  protested  Sir  James. 

"  But  it  isn't  a  little  thing  if  you  get  it  like  that," 
said  Mrs.  Dangerfield.  "  Anyhow,  it's  going  to 
stop;  and  they're  going  to  apologize." 

She  turned  to  them;  and  as  if  at  a  signal  the 
Twins  said  with  one  voice: 

"  I  apologize  for  blackmailing  you,  Sir  James." 

The  Terror  spoke  with  an  amiable  nonchalance; 
the  words  came  very  stiffly  from  the  lips  of  Erebus, 
and  she  wore  a  lowering  air. 

"Oh,  not  at  all  —  not  at  all  —  don't  mention  it. 
Besides,  I  owe  you  an  apology  for  not  answering 
your  letter,"  said  Sir  James  in  all  the  discomfort  of 
a  man  receiving  something  that  is  not  his  due. 
Then  he  heaved  a  sigh  of  relief  and  added :  "  Well, 
that's  all  right.  And  now  I  hope  you'll  do  all  the 
fishing  you  want  to." 

"  Certainly  not ;  I  can't  allow  them  to  fish  your 


322  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

water  any  more,"  said  Mrs.   Dangerfield  sternly. 

"  Oh,  but  really,"  said  Sir  James  with  a  harried 
air. 

"  No,"  said  Mrs.  Dangerfield ;  and  she  held  out 
her  hand. 

"  But  you'll  have  some  tea  —  after  that  hot 
walk !  "  cried  Sir  James. 

"  No,  thank  you,  I  must  be  getting  home,"  said 
Mrs.  Dangerfield  firmly. 

Sir  James  did  not  press  her  to  stay;  he  saw  that 
her  mind  was  made  up. 

He  opened  the  door  of  the  drawing-room,  and 
they  filed  out.  As  Erebus  passed  out,  she  turned 
and  made  a  hideous  grimace  at  him.  She  was  de- 
sirous that  he  should  not  overrate  her  apology. 


CHAPTER  XIV 

AND   THE  SOUND   OF    WEDDING   BELLS 

4 

SIR  JAMES  came  through  the  hall  with  them, 
carelessly  taking  his  cap  from  the  horn  of 
an  antelope  on  the  wall  as  he  passed  it.  He  came 
down  the  steps,  along  the  gardens  to  the  side 
gate,  and  through  it  into  the  park,  talking  to  Mrs. 
Dangerfield  of  the  changes  he  had  found  in  the  gar- 
dens of  the  Grange  after  his  last  five  years  of  big 
game  shooting  about  the  world. 

Mrs.  Dangerfield  had  not  liked  her  errand;  and 
she  was  in  no  mood  for  companionship.  But  she 
could  not  drive  him  from  her  side  on  his  own  land. 
They  walked  slowly;  the  Twins  forged  ahead. 
When  Sir  James  and  Mrs.  Dangerfield  came  out 
of  the  park,  the  Twins  were  out  of  sight.  Mere 
politeness  demanded  that  he  should  walk  the  rest 
of  the  way  with  her. 

When  the  Twins  were  out  of  the  hearing  of 
3*3 


324  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

their  mother  and  Sir  James,  the  Terror  said: 
"  Well,  he  was  quite  decent  about  it  It  made  him 
much  more  uncomfortable  than  we  were.  I  sup- 
pose it  was  because  we're  more  used  to  Mum." 

"  What  did  the  silly  idiot  want  to  give  us  away 
at  all  for?"  said  the  unappeased  Erebus. 

"  Oh,  well ;  he  didn't  mean  to.  It  was  an  acci- 
dent, you  know,"  said  the  Terror. 

His  provident  mind  foresaw  advantages  to  be 
attained  from  a  closer  intimacy  with  Sir  James. 

"  Accident !  People  shouldn't  have  accidents 
like  that !  "  said  Erebus  in  a  tone  of  bitter  scorn. 

When  he  and  Mrs.  Dangerfield  came  out  of  the 
park,  Sir  James  diplomatically  fell  to  lauding  the 
Twins  to  the  skies,  their  beauty,  their  grace  and 
their  intelligence.  The  diplomacy  was  not  natural 
(he  was  no  diplomat)  but  accidental:  the  Twins 
were  the  only  subject  he  could  at  the  moment  think 
of.  He  could  not  have  found  a  quicker  way  to  Mrs. 
Dangerfield's  approval.  She  had  been  disposed  to 
dislike  him  for  having  been  blackmailed  by  them; 
his  praise  of  them  softened  her  heart.  Discussing 
them,  they  came  right  to  the  gate  of  Colet  House; 
and  it  was  only  natural  that  she  should  invite  him 


AND  WEDDING  BELLS  325 

to  tea.  He  accepted  with  alacrity.  At  tea  he 
changed  the  subject:  they  talked  about  her. 

He  came  home  yet  more  interested  in  her,  re- 
solved yet  more  firmly  to  see  more  of  her.  With  a 
natural  simplicity  he  used  his  skill  in  woodcraft  to 
compass  his  end,  and  availed  himself  of  the  covert 
afforded  by  the  common  to  watch  Colet  House. 
Thanks  to  this  simple  device  he  was  able  to  meet  or 
overtake  Mrs.  Dangerfield,  somewhere  in  the  first 
half-mile  of  her  afternoon  walk. 

They  grew  intimate  quickly,  thanks  chiefly  to  his 
simple  directness;  and  he  found  that  his  first  im- 
pression that  he  wanted  her  more  than  he  had  ever 
wanted  anything  in  his  life,  more  even  than  he  had 
wanted,  in  his  enthusiastic  youth,  to  shoot  a  black 
rhinoceros,  was  right.  He  had  been  making  ar- 
rangements for  another  shooting  expedition;  but 
he  perceived  now  very  clearly,  indeed,  that  it  was 
his  immediate  duty  to  settle  down  in  life,  provide 
the  Hall  with  a  mistress,  and  do  his  duty  by  his  es- 
tate and  his  neighbors. 

He  had  had  no  experience  of  women ;  but  his 
hunting  had  developed  his  instinct  and  he  perceived 
that  he  must  proceed  very  warily  indeed,  that  to 


326  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

bring  Mrs.  Dangerfield  over  the  boundary-line  of 
friendship  into  the  land  of  romance  was  the  most 
difficult  enterprise  he  had  ever  dreamed  of.  But 
he  had  a  stout  heart,  the  hunter's  pertinacity,  and 
a  burning  resolve  to  succeed. 

He  wanted  all  the  help  he  could  get;  and  he  saw 
that  the  Twins  would  be  useful  friends  in  the  mat- 
ter. But  did  they  chance  on  him  walking  with 
their  mother,  or  at  tea  with  her,  they  held  politely 
but  gloomily  aloof.  He  must  abate  their  hostility. 

He  contrived,  therefore,  to  meet  them  on  the  com- 
mon as  they  were  starting  one  afternoon  on  an  ex- 
pedition, greeted  them  cheerfully,  stopped  and 
said :  "  I'm  awfully  sorry  I  gave  you  away  the 
other  day.  But  I  never  saw  your  mother  till  I'd 
done  it." 

"  Don't  mention  it,"  said  the  Terror  with  cold 
graciousness. 

"  So  you  ought  to  be,"  said  Erebus. 

"  It's  a  pity  you  should  lose  your  fishing.  If  I'd 
known  how  good  you  both  were  at  it,  I  should  have 
given  you  leave  when  I  got  your  letter,"  said  Sir 
James  hypocritically.  "  But  I  was  misinformed 
about  you." 


AND  WEDDING  BELLS  327 

"  It's  worse  that  mother  should  lose  the  trout. 
She  does  hate  butcher's  meat  so;  and  it  is  so  dif- 
ficult to  get  her  to  eat  properly,"  said  Erebus  in  a 
somewhat  mollified  tone. 

"  It's  like  that,  is  it  ?  "  said  Sir  James  quickly ; 
and  an  expression  of  deep  concern  filled  his 
face. 

"  Yes,  and  she  did  eat  those  trout,"  said  Erebus 
plaintively. 

Sir  James  knitted  his  brow  in  frowning  thought ; 
and  the  Twins  watched  him  with  little  hope  in  their 
faces.  Of  a  sudden  his  brow  grew  smooth;  and 
he  said: 

"Look  here:  you  mayn't  fish  my  water;  but 
there's  no  reason  why  you  shouldn't  fish  Glaze- 
brook's.  I  think  that  a  man  who  nets  his  water 
loses  all  rights." 

"Yes,  he  does,"  said  the  Terror  firmly. 

"  Well,  with  one  watching  while  the  other  fishes, 
it  ought  to  be  safe  enough ;  and  I'll  stand  the  racket 
if  you  get  prosecuted  and  fined.  I  want  to  take  it 
out  of  that  fellow  Glazebrook  —  he's  not  a  sports- 
man." 

The  Terror's  face  had  brightened;  but  he  said: 


328  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"  But  how  should  we  account  for  the  fish  we  took 
home?" 

'  You  can  reckon  them  presents  from  me.  They 
would  be  —  practically  —  if  I'm  going  to  pay  the 
fines,"  said  Sir  James. 

The  eyes  of  both  the  Twins  danced:  this  was  a 
fashion  of  dealing  tenderly  with  exactitude  which 
appealed  to  them.  The  Terror  himself  could  not 
have  been  more  tender  with  it. 

"  That's  a  ripping  idea ! "  said  Erebus  in  a  tone 
of  the  warmest  approval. 

The  peace  was  thus  concluded. 

Having  thus  abated  their  hostility,  Sir  James 
spared  no  pains  to  win  their  good  will.  He  gave 
the  Terror  a  rook-rifle  and  Erebus  boxes  of  choco- 
late. If  he  chanced  on  them  when  motoring  in  the 
afternoon  he  would  carry  them  off,  bicycles  and 
all,  in  his  car  and  regale  them  with  sumptuous  teas 
at  the  Grange;  and  at  Colet  House  he  entertained 
them  with  stories  of  the  African  forest  which 
thrilled  Mrs.  Dangerfield  even  more  than  they 
thrilled  them.  But  he  won  their  hearts  most  by 
his  sympathy  with  them  in  the  matter  of  their 


AND  WEDDING  BELLS  329 

mother's  appetite,  and  by  joining  them  in  little  plots 
to  obtain  delicacies  for  her. 

Having  discovered  how  grateful  it  was  to  her, 
he  lost  no  opportunity  of  taking  the  short  cut  to  her 
heart  by  praising  them.  He  laid  himself  out  to  be 
useful  to  her,  to  entertain  and  amuse  her,  trying 
to  make  for  himself  as  large  as  possible  a  place  in 
her  life.  She  was  not  long  discovering  that  he  was 
in  love  with  her;  and  the  discovery  came  as  a  very 
pleasant  shock.  None  of  the  neighbors,  much  less 
Captain  Baster,  who,  during  her  stay  at  Colet 
House,  had  asked  her  to  marry  them,  had  attracted 
her  so  strongly  as  did  Sir  James.  Even  as  her  del- 
icacy made  the  strongest  appeal  to  his  vigorous  ro- 
bustness, so  his  vigorous  robustness  made  the 
strongest  appeal  to  her  delicacy. 

But  Little  Deeping  is  a  censorious  place;  and  its 
gossips  are  the  keener  for  having  so  few  chances 
of  plying  their  active  tongues.  When  no  less  than 
four  ladies  had  on  four  several  occasions  met  Sir 
James  and  Mrs.  Dangerfield  walking  together  along 
the  lanes,  those  tongues  began  to  wag. 

Then  old  Mrs.  Blenkinsop,  the  childless  widow 


330  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

of  a  Common  Councilman  of  London,  one  morn- 
ing met  the  Twins  in  the  village.  They  greeted 
her  politely  and  made  to  escape.  But  she  was  in 
the  mood,  her  most  constant  mood,  to  babble.  She 
stopped  them,  and  with  a  knowing  air,  and  even 
more  offensive  smile,  said: 

"  So,  young  people,  we're  going  to  hear  the  sound 
of  wedding  bells  very  soon  in  Little  Deeping,  are 
we?" 

Erebus  merely  scowled  at  her,  for  more  than 
once  she  had  talked  about  them;  but  the  Terror, 
in  a  tone  of  somewhat  perfunctory  politeness,  said : 
"Are  we?" 

"  I  should  have  thought  you  would  have  known 
all  about  it,"  she  said  with  a  cackling  little  giggle. 
"  Mind  you  tell  me  as  soon  as  you're  told :  I  want 
to  be  one  of  the  first  to  congratulate  your  dear 
mother." 

"  What  do  you  mean  ? "  snapped  the  Terror 
with  a  disconcerting  suddenness ;  and  his  eyes  shone 
very  bright  and  threatening  in  a  steady  glare  into 
her  own. 

"  Oh,  nothing  —  nothing !  "  cried  Mrs.  Blenkin- 
sop,  flustered  by  his  sternness.  "  Only  seeing  Sir 


AND  WEDDING  BELLS  331 

James  so  much  with  your  mother  —  But  there  — 
there's  probably  nothing  in  it  —  the  Morgans  al- 
ways were  rovers  —  one  foot  at  sea  and  one  on 
shore  —  I  dare  say  he'll  be  in  the  middle  of  Africa 
before  the  week  is  out.  Good  morning  —  good 
morning." 

With  that  she  sprang,  more  lightly  than  she  had 
sprung  for  years,  into  the  grocer's  shop. 

The  Twins  looked  after  her  with  uneasy  eyes, 
frowning.  Then  Erebus  said :  "  Silly  old  idiot !  " 

The  Terror  said  nothing;  he  walked  on  frown- 
ing. At  last  he  broke  out :  "  This  won't  do ! 
We  can't  have  these  old  idiots  gossiping  about 
Mum.  And  it's  a  beastly  nuisance :  Sir  James  was 
making  things  so  much  more  cheerful  for  her." 

"  But  you  don't  think  there's  anything  in  what 
the  old  cat  said?  It  would  be  perfectly  horrid  to 
have  a  stepfather!  "  cried  Erebus  in  a  panic. 

The  Terror  walked  on,  frowning  in  deep  thought. 

"  Do  you  think  there's  anything  in  it  ? "  cried 
Erebus. 

"  I  dare  say  there  is.  Sir  James  is  always  about 
with  Mum;  and  he's  always  very  civil  to  us  — 
people  aren't  generally,"  said  the  Terror. 


332  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"  Oh,  but  we  must  stop  it !  We  must  stop  it  at 
once !  "  cried  Erebus. 

"Why  must  we?" 

"  It  would  be  perfectly  beastly  having  a  step- 
father, I  tell  you !  "  cried  Erebus  fiercely. 

"  It  isn't  altogether  what  we  like  —  there's  Mum," 
said  the  Terror.  "  She  does  have  a  rotten  time 
of  it  —  always  being  hard  up  and  never  going  any- 
where. And,  after  all,  we  shouldn't  mind  Sir  James 
when  we  got  used  to  him." 

"  But  we  should !  And  look  how  we  stopped  the 
Cruncher ! " 

"  Sir  James  isn't  like  the  Cruncher  —  at  all," 
said  the  Terror. 

"  All  stepfathers  are  alike;  and  they're  beastly!  " 
cried  Erebus. 

"  Now,  it's  no  good  your  getting  yourself  obsti- 
nate about  it,"  said  the  Terror  firmly.  "  That 
won't  be  of  any  use  at  all,  if  they've  made  up  their 
minds.  But  what's  bothering  me  is  what  that  old 
cat  meant  by  saying  that  the  Morgans  were  rovers." 

Erebus'  frown  deepened  as  she  knitted  her  brow 
over  the  cryptic  utterance  of  Mrs.  Blenkinsop. 
Then  she  said  in  a  tone  of  considerable  relief: 


AND  WEDDING  BELLS  333 

"  She  must  have  meant  that  he  wasn't  really  in 
earnest  about  marrying  Mum." 

"  Yes,  that's  what  she  did  mean,"  growled  the 
Terror.  "  And  she'll  go  about  telling  everybody 
that  he's  only  fooling." 

"But  I  don't  think  he  is.  I  don't  think  he 
would,"  said  Erebus  quickly. 

"  No  more  do  I,"  said  the  Terror. 

They  walked  nearly  fifty  yards  in  silence.  Then 
the  Terror's  face  cleared  and  brightened;  and  he 
said  cheerfully: 

"  I  know  the  thing  to  do !  I'll  go  and  ask  him 
his  intentions.  That's  what  people  said  old  Haw- 
ley  ought  to  have  done  when  the  Cut  —  you  know : 
that  fellow  from  Rowington  —  was  fooling  about 
with  Miss  Hawley." 

"  All  right,  we'll  go  and  ask  him,"  said  Erebus 
with  equal  cheerfulness. 

"  No,  no,  you  can't  go.  I  must  go  alone,"  said 
the  Terror  quickly.  "  It's  the  kind  of  thing  the 
men  of  the  family  always  do  —  people  said  so  about 
Miss  Hawley  —  and  I'm  the  only  man  of  the  family 
about.  If  Uncle  Maurice  were  in  London  and  not 
in  Vienna,  we  might  send  for  him  to  do  it." 


334  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

Erebus  burst  into  bitter  complaint.  She  alleged 
that  the  restrictions  which  were  applied  to  the  ordi- 
nary girl  should  by  no  means  be  applied  to  her, 
since  she  was  not  ordinary;  that  since  they  co- 
operated in  everything  else  they  ought  to  cooperate 
in  this;  that  he  was  much  more  successful  in  those 
exploits  in  which  they  did  cooperate,  than  in  those 
which  he  performed  alone. 

"  It's  no  good  talking  like  that :  it  isn't  the  thing 
to  do,"  said  the  Terror  with  very  cold  severity. 
"  You  know  what  Mrs.  Morton  said  about  Miss 
Hawley  and  the  Cut  —  that  the  men  of  the  family 
did  it." 

"  You're  only  a  boy ;  and  I'm  as  old  as  you !  " 
snapped  Erebus. 

"  Well,  when  there  isn't  a  man  to  do  a  thing,  a 
boy  does  it.  So  it's  no  use  you're  making  a  fuss," 
said  the  Terror  in  a  tone  of  finality. 

Erebus  protested  that  the  upshot  of  his  going 
alone  would  be  that  Sir  James  would  presently  be 
their  detested  stepfather;  but  he  went  alone,  early 
in  the  afternoon. 

He  was  now  on  such  familiar  terms  at  the  Grange 


AND  WEDDING  BELLS  335 

that  Mawley  took  him  straight  to  the  smoking- 
room,  where  his  master  was  smoking  a  cigar  over 
his  after-lunch  coffee.  Sir  James  welcomed  him 
warmly,  for  he  was  beginning  to  learn  that  the 
Terror  was  quite  good  company,  in  the  country, 
and  poured  him  out  a  cup  of  coffee. 

The  Terror  put  sugar  and  cream  into  it  and 
forthwith,  since  a  simple  matter  of  this  kind  did 
not  seem  to  him  to  call  for  the  exercise  of  his 
usual  diplomacy,  said  with  firm  directness :  "  I've 
come  to  ask  your  intentions,  sir." 

"  My  intentions  ?  "  said  Sir  James,  not  taking 
him. 

"  Yes.  You  see  some  of  the  old  cats  who  live 
about  here  are  saying  that  you're  only  fooling," 
said  the  Terror. 

"The  deuce  they  are!"  cried  Sir  James  sharply 
with  a  sudden  and  angry  comprehension. 

"  Yes.  So  of  course  the  thing  to  do  was  to  ask 
your  intentions,"  said  the  Terror  firmly. 

"Of  course  —  of  course,"  said  Sir  James. 

He  looked  at  the  Terror;  and  in  spite  of  his  an- 
ger his  eyes  twinkled.  Then  he  added  gravely: 


336  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

"  My  intentions  are  not  only  extremely  serious  but 
they're  extremely  immediate.  I'd  marry  your 
mother  to-morrow  if  she'd  let  me." 

"  That's  all  right,"  said  the  Terror  with  a  faint 
sigh  of  relief.  "Of  course  I  knew  you  were  all 
right.  Only,  it  was  the  thing  to  do,  with  these 
silly  old  idiots  talking." 

"  Quite  so  —  quite  so,"  said  Sir  James. 

There  was  a  pause;  and  Sir  James  looked  again 
at  the  Terror  tranquilly  drinking  his  coffee,  in  a 
somewhat  appealing  fashion,  for  he  had  been 
suffering  badly  from  all  the  doubts  and  fears 
of  the  lover;  and  the  Terror's  serenity  was  sooth- 
ing. 

Then  with  a  sudden  craving  for  comfort  and  re- 
assurance, he  said :  "  Do  you  think  your  mother 
would  marry  me  ?  " 

"  I  haven't  the  slightest  idea ;  women  are  so 
funny,"  said  the  Terror  with  a  sage  air. 

Sir  James  pulled  at  his  mustache.  Then  the 
compulsion  to  have  some  one's  opinion  of  his 
chances,  even  if  it  was  only  a  small  boy's,  came  on 
him  strongly ;  and  he  said : 

"  I  wish  I  knew  what  to  do.     As  it  is  we're  very 


AND  WEDDING  BELLS  337 

good  friends;  and  if  I  asked  her  to  marry  me,  I 
might  spoil  that." 

The  Terror  considered  the  point  for  a  minute  or 
two ;  then  he  said :  "  I  don't  think  you  would. 
Mum's  very  sensible,  though  she  is  so  pretty." 

Sir  James  frowned  deeply  in  his  utter  perplexity ; 
then  he  said:  "I'll  risk  it!" 

He  rang  the  bell  and  ordered  his  car.  He  talked 
to  the  Terror  jerkily  and  somewhat  incoherently 
till  it  came;  and  the  Terror  observed  his  perturba- 
tion with  considerable  interest.  It  seemed  to  him 
very  curious  in  a  hard-bitten  hunter  of  big  game. 
They  started  and  in  the  two  level  miles  to  Little 
Deeping  Sir  James  changed  his  car's  speeds  nine 
times. 

As  they  came  very  slowly  up  to  Colet  House, 
the  Terror  said  with  an  air  of  detachment :  "  I 
should  think,  you  know,  Mum  could  be  rushed." 

He  had  definitely  made  up  his  mind  that  it  would 
be  a  good  thing  for  her. 

"  If  I  only  could !  "  said  Sir  James  in  a  tone  of 
feverish  doubt. 

Mrs.  Dangerfield  was  mending  a  rent  in  a  frock 
of  Erebus  when  he  entered  the  drawing-room;  and 


338  THE  TERRIBLE  TWINS 

at  the  first  glance  she  knew,  with  a  thrill  half  of 
pleasure,  half  of  apprehension,  why  he  had  come. 

At  the  sight  of  her  Sir  James  felt  his  tremulous 
courage  oozing  out  of  him;  but  with  what  was  left 
of  it  he  blurted  out  desperately: 

"  Look  here,  Anne,  dear,  I  want  you  to  marry 
me!" 

"  Oh ! "  said  Mrs.  Dangerfield,  rising  quickly. 

"  Yes,  I  want  it  more  than  ever  I  wanted  any- 
thing in  my  life! " 

Mrs.  Dangerfield's  face  was  one  flush;  and  she 
cried :  "  B-b-but  it's  out  of  the  question.  I  — 
I'm  old  enough  to  be  your  mother !  " 

"  Now  how  ?  —  I'm  three  years  and  seven  months 
older  than  you,"  said  Sir  James,  taken  aback. 

"  I  shall  be  an  old  woman  while  you're  still  quite 
young !  "  she  protested. 

"  You  won't  ever  be  old !  You're  not  the  kind !  " 
cried  Sir  James  with  some  heat;  and  then  with 
sudden  understanding:  "If  that's  your  only 
reason,  why,  that  settles  it !  " 

With  that  he  picked  her  up  and  kissed  her  four 
times. 

When  he  set  her  down  and  held  her  at  arm's 


AND  WEDDING  BELLS  339 

length,  gazing  at  her  with  devouring  eyes,  she 
gasped  somewhat  faintly  :  "  Oh,  James,  you  are  — 
ever  so  much  more  —  impetuous  —  than  I  thought. 
You  gave  me  —  no  time." 

'  Thank  goodness,  I  took  the  Terror's  tip !  "  said 
Sir  James. 


THE    END 


University  of  California 

SOUTHERN  REGIONAL  LIBRARY  FACILITY 

Return  this  material  to  the  library 

from  which  it  was  borrowed. 


A     000122936 


